Bad Dr Appt

[NycJoe]

I have a great ID doc and usually ask for a referal to other specialists from her.  However I was worried about a mole that had grown on my back and she was busy so found a dermatologist nearby.  This doctor asked me 3 seperate times during the course of examining me which was less than 5 minutes...how did you get hiv?  First I couldnt believe he asked me that..let alone 3 times.  I was so stunned I said I just got it.  Of course afterwards I thought of the good answers....from your wife...from shaking someones hand..from a toilet seat.  I wish I had!  This guy is in NYC too...not some backward country doc.  NEVER going back there again.

[Ihavehope]

I don't blame you Joe. You should always feel comfortable with a doctor. Try looking at the HX and Next magazine or website and you should find a few gay friendly dermatologist.

[Longislander]

hmm...maybe he wanted confirmation of your gayness so he could ask you out~!?

[pozguy75]

I would have said from a dermatologist!

[Life]

I presume he/she figured you got the mole from playing to much "Wack-A-Mole"? 

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[Alain]

Joe, the way I look at this is a typical situation where you have a right to be treated fairly with a doctor that you are comfortable with.

My experience in the past is, as medical officers they do have a code of conduct to follow but sometimes I think it goes both ways.

I am not going to defend him, but what if he is for some reasons not comfortable to treat HIV patient.

With the system we have, should he say something, you would be in a position to go after him, for what ever reasons IE discrimination for example.

Make sure that your ID doctor refers you only to specialist that are comfy with people like us.

All this to say, that it wouldn't surprise me that he got what he wanted and made sure that you would not going back.

Is that possible? I think so and beside you certainly do not need him around treating you.

Just thinking.

PS  I just remembered at the doctors office where I go, there is a male doctor that is ONLY treating male patients. Period. Now the way I look at it, we do have a need of HIV doctors here in Canada and especially so now that statistic shows increasing numbers of infection in the single women category group. Is that fair for him to do that?   

[MSPspud]

I'm not really trying to defend the doctor, but I could see one use in the question.   Perhaps to determine if you were an IV drug user or not.  Issues like that could put other medical things into play.  I suppose with a dermatologist that shouldn't matter much AND there are better ways of asking the question.  I guess I would take offense with that question dependent on the actual tone. 

[Strayboy74]

I lived in NYC for about 5 years before moving back to the midwest.

When I came back to Iowa, I didn't have a regular doctor, and finally had to go get a few things checked out at the local clinic (where I used to go when I was a kid).  I told the doctor that I was gay, and that syphillis was a concern of people in the local gay community (it turned out to be an allergy to lube).  Anyway, at this point, he refused to examine me unless there were two others in the room.

I told him not to flatter himself, and not to bother billing me, as I walked out.

Never went back there again.

-joseph

[poet]

Joe, if Metrosource is still around, a magazine which came out monthly and was free in areas like the former Standlander's Pharmacy (Eighth Ave./16th/17th) as well as by mail, they always had a directory in the back which included doctors.  The warning about the listings is that once someone was there, they were not checked to see if they were still around, so some of the listings became dead ones while I lived in NYC.  When I checked NYU's doctor referral system, a gay dermatologist I had been to was still around and I can give you his name.  Best, Win

[J.R.E.]

My dermotologist never really asked me questions. He's aware of my status.  My eye doctor, will ask me how my viral load and t-cell count numbers are, and thats about it. I did tell my HIV doctor how I became infected, to let him know that it wasn't through IV drug use.


Ray

[Miss Philicia]

Why didn't you just ask him why he wanted to know?  If you then didn't care for his reply you could just say you're prefer not to say.  Doesn't seem that complicated.  Perhaps he felt some need to know.

[dtwpuck]

I was told once when I had pinkeye that it was from AIDS.  (Never mind that just about everyone at the office got it.)  I looked at the doctor and asked her if she got her MD from pets.com, got up, and walked out.  I also refused to pay the co-pay and told them that if they tried to bill my insurance I would fight them, since I felt that the doctor had about as much right to take my money as I do to fly an airplane. 

Anyway... don't go back and tell everyone you possibly can that this doctor is as useless as sandpaper in a charmin factory.

[Eldon]

He did have his intentions on asking you that question. However, it was out of character for him to ask you that rather than focusing on what you were there for. A better response would have been What's that have to do with it?".

"What Can I do today to make a better Tommorrow?"

[NycJoe]

It was his tone in asking the question more than once.  He did ask if it was drug use and I said no.  He continued to ask the question and whether or not I had told my "girlfriend".  I just found him very dismissive and could not wait to leave.  It was my first experience like that so I was more flabbergasted than anything but of course I will never return and will tell everyone I know not to go to him.  Thanks for the responses.