LY:
Hi, 2 weeks ago I had an encounter which I believe was low risk. Oral sex (no ejaculation) However shortly after he came he inserted his finger into me. I'm 90% sure it was the other hand, not the one he j/o off with. Since the encounter we've been e-mailing back and forth, he seems genuine and said he always plays safe and is negative (You can never be sure though can you). Saturday night 2 weeks post encounter I got a canker sore and white tongue (I have had this before though). Yesterday I was on the treadmill at the gym and started to itch like crazy. I got home and had what looked like 8 large insect bites on my body, combined with red rash with small bumps all over my body, I had a golf ball like swelling under my neck and a very sore eyelid. I got home took a cold shower and some antihistamines and the next day the rash has completely disappeared. I'm hoping this sounds more like an allergy. I have just stopped taking pain-killers and stupidly I did drink a few times with the pain killers. I know the only way to be sure is not to dwell over symptoms and get tested, but I'm really freaking out!
Ann:
LY,
You didn't have a risk at all. Along with read the Transmission Lesson which is linked to in the Welcome Thread, here's what you need to know to remain hiv negative.
You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together. To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex with a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.
Have a look through all three condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.
Although you do not need to test over this specific incident, anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.
If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results. Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv.
Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and cosistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!
Ann
LY:
Thanks Ann,
I feel a little better now
The symptoms I had yesterday though were scary - with the canker sore in the mouth, white tongue, mild night sweats (on my pillow only, not the bed)and severe rash it definitely feels like something definitely is not right - some kind of infection, and it's a little odd that all this is happening 2 weeks post encounter, which is typically when seroconversion starts. What about the other part I mentioned? - If the guy had got cum on his finger and inserted it into me (sorry for being so blunt), wouldn't that pose a medium risk? I doubt this happened but can't be 100%
I know you can't go by symptoms etc etc, but I've never had a severe rash/swelling like that in my life and it scared the hell out of me.
Andy Velez:
NEVERTHELESS, you were not at risk for transmission during that incident no matter what your mind maybe saying to the contrary.
If you are still having symptoms you should discuss them with your doctor. Like Ann I do not see this in any way as an HIV situation.
LY:
Thanks for the quick replies.
I would like to believe that oral is a theoretical risk.I've read stories of people on this forum claiming to be infected via oral or oral in combination with protected anal (I do not believe all that I read, but what if half were telling the truth?) I once spoke to a doctor (The local gay and lesbian center referred me to) who was adament there was a 1 in 10 chance from oral sex. I did not believe this, and was surprised a doctor would say this?? From what I have read on various 'legitimate' sites/forums opinions seem to vary from no risk to medium risk. There is a chart in the South Beach testing center on lincoln road in Miami (CVS)which shows oral with no ejaculation as been low risk and with ejaculation medium risk.I would love to believe you guys.
My gums are not always in the best shape and sometimes bleed!!!!!!
My symptoms have just been too strange to shrug off. A terrible hives rash and swollen neck which disappeared overnight followed by a sore throat and headache which still hasn't disappeared two days later. They started 2 weeks after the encounter, which is typically when seroconversion begins.
I'm still freaking out and can not concentrate on my job. I'm not a US citizen, so I would lose my job/partner and have to go back home if I tested positive.