just tested poz few days ago, little scared/anxious

[mikeyb39]

hi all,
I just recently was diagnosed positive a few days ago after having been sick with flu-like symptions for a week.  Ever since i got the news i feel my life is all different, i try to be happy at times but it doesnt last very long.  Dr has taken more blood to find out the genome and CD4 count which will take approx 2 weeks to get back.  This makes me nervous having to wait two weeks for the results eventhough dr said it will be fine.

I just needed to vent and write something so hopefully not rambling too much.  how does one cope or find some normalcy again.  The only thing i can think about is the diagnosis.  i do have an appt with a HIV counselor here in dallas next week.

well gotta head to work, but thought i would say something,

[john33]

Hi Mikey,

I'm sorry about your diagnosis, but welcome to the forums.

I just want to let you know, it's going to be OK. It's normal to be nervous and tense, and we have all been in your position. But your doc is in the process of finding out exactly where your immune system is at, and you can work together from there.

If you haven't already, contact your local ASO and find an ID doc who specialises in HIV. Others here will be able to advise you more on this, but this is very important for you.

Vent as much as you need to, i remember all to well that need to do that and talk.

We're here for you and will help and advise you as much as we can. You'll find a wealth of knowledge here, take some time to read our lessons section.

John

[WillyWump]

Hello Mikey, Welcome.

John pretty much said it all. But I'd like to just reinforce the fact that it absolutely does get better, everyone goes through the fear, etc...It's just part of the process. I can promise you it will get better and you will regain a sense of normalcy again. I've been poz 2 yearsish and I rarely think about my HIV, even taking the pills has become just another part of my normal life.

As far as wating 2 weeks for results, I know it seems like an eternity, but really 2 weeks will make no difference.

I think seeing a therapist was a good move, sounds like you've already got a good handle on the whole situation.

Keep us updated. Look forward to seeing you around.

Hugs
-Will

[nychope1]

Hey MikeyB..

You have found the right place to get support, sound off and get information. I am a newbie to and just diagnosed less than three weeks ago and would have been much more in the dark if not for this forum and the understanding and compassion from those here.

Give yourself time to process all of this and don't despair because all will be OK! One day at a time buddy.

One thing I want to reassure you of and that is you WILL NOT GET SICK and you will be just fine. You have taken the first step in getting and staying healthy and strong by getting tested and taking action. I agree that a good ID doc that works with HIV folks is always a good thing.

Good luck and hang in there.

[Lucky2behere]

Hey Mickey,
Everyone has said all that needs to be said... just wanted you to know this is a great forum with very supportive people. Share your concerns and fears. The more you share, the more normal life will become. Glad you are here.

[mikeyb39]

hi all,
thank you all for the responses.  I'm certainly trying to carry-on.  about a week and half ago i started getting the body aches and fever, which lasted till about 2 days ago, but i think all the worrying and anxiety since i found out a few days ago has caused me to itch all over and have no apatite and feeling little nauseous. 

reading the forums help since i don't really have too many folks to talk to about anything that has been going on.


thanks again all

[nychope1]

You'll be fine. Chill out til you get the results from the doc and then take his advice. I have to say that I've also taken the advice of some of the folks on this forum. Many of them have a lot of experience so don't be bashful to ask questions or privately message someone here.
I had the same itchy feeling all over and it wasn't anything that had to do with HIV only my mind. It went away now. Rest your mind and enjoy the weekend!

[anniebc]

Hey Mikey

Welcome to the forums.

Reaction to the results of an HIV diagnosis is difffernt for everyone, but over time you will find a way of coping with the virus, one that suits you, and it might be quite differnt from how others deal with it.

No one here will ever tell you it's easy, it's ok to get angry or scared but don't let it take over your life, stress is natural it can actually help some of us get through certain situations but excessive stress can cause you physical symptoms and can damage your immune system further, just find ways to manage any stress you may be feeling, learn to relax and listen to your body.

Along with HIV comes anxiety and one way of tackling this is through information. gaining confidence in yourself and making informed decisions about your future.

Support is very important and you can get this from a qualified ID doctor, I see you have done this already, family and friend that you trust, also there are many support organizations out there...just make sure whoever you discuss this with is sympathetic, supporting and non judgmental about your HIV status.

Most important of all you have to remember that being HIV+ does not stop you from being the person you were before your dianosis.

Take care
Jan

[Lucky2behere]

It's taken me months to believe it, but HIV is a very treatable disease now. I also believe there are many more illnesses out there worse than being HIV positive. I was diagnosed in March of this year and it took me all year to find this forum, so I am glad you found it sooner and have found support. Every day, living with HIV gets easier. I havn't changed; just my understanding of my health has changed and the tests only help me and my doctor decide if and when I start taking meds. The best part is now I do know and now I can take better care of myself. I plan on being healthy and living just as long if not longer than anybody that isn't HIV positive.

I feel the same as you, a little paranoid about sore throats, aches and pains, ichy skin. But I have actually gotten tired of worrying about it all. Stress just makes things worse, so I try to remember that when I feel stressed.

I forget this alot, but it's amazing what a few deep breaths will do.

Your feelings are normal. It seems most have felt just the same as you do now. Glad you are talking it out.  Hugs to you!

[Snowangel]

Sorry to hear about your diagnosis but Welcome, glad you found it!! This is a great bunch of people that I wish I knew about when I was infected. I would of put up with a lot less crap knowing there were others like me somewhere.

Like Jan said, everyone goes through the stages differently.  I threw myself into my job.  I acted more confident because in my head I was thinking "Nothing worse can happen then finding out I have hiv."  It probably wasn't the best way to think  about it but I excelled and got promotion after promotion.

Going through your feelings might help you to accept it more quickly.  I have been going 13 years taking meds now and only a handful of people know of my status. I still have a lot of issues with my self esteem because of this disease, hiding it so deeply probably didn't help.


Be patient and kind with yourself and you will do fine!
Take care,
Snow