Protected sex with a CSW..worried

[pieters]

Hello,
I had an encounter with a CSW exactly 3 months ago. The whole encounter for probably for a minute or even less. She opened a new condom from a pack, tore it infront of me (I haven't checked it is a latex or not.. am repenting for it now) .. rolled it over my shaft and did a 30-40 secs she did oral on me.
Then I penetrated her with the same condom on for say 20-30 secs.

I could not see any condom breaks. I could also see the ejaculate getting collected at the innner tip of the condom. When I was examining the condom while it was still on, the lady assured me by saying "It was fine, no problem".

Then she asked me to remove the condom, and place it on a piece of paper. She gave another paper to clean my penis.

This was all that happened.

In the period of 2-4 weeks, I got a bit of diarreah. It was very loose, watery stool. But it latsed for a day or so.. then I got body itching for about 8-9 days. I already had cold before the incident..

Apart from these, I observed a strange thing. A month after the incident, I noticed some kind of scab on my penis. Very accidentally, while mastrubating, I noticed it. It looked black in colour, like the last day of a healing injury looks like.

I am not sure how many days before it got formed.. I just had no feeling.. didn't see it any time before that night.

I searched on the internet and now I am afraid I caught Syphilis or herpes.

Please help me with risk assessment with regards to HIV. Also, can such a brief protected encounter cause STDs? I also didn't see any open sores near her region.

Thanks a lot for reading through this.

[Ann]

Pieters,

You have not had a risk for hiv infection.

Getting a blowjob, with or without a condom, is not a risk for hiv infection.

Condoms have been proven to prevent hiv infection. There have been three long-term studies of couples where one is positive and one is negative. In the couples who used condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, but no barrier for oral activities, not one of the negative partners became infected with hiv. Not one.

If the condom was broken, you would have noticed. A broken condom is very obvious.

If the sore on your penis was herpes, it would have hurt. Herpes lesions are VERY painful.

Syphilis chancres, on the other hand, are NOT painful. If you do not see the chancre, you would not know it was there. UNLIKE hiv, syphilis is transmitted through skin-to-skin contact and is MUCH more easily transmitted than hiv.

You should definitely test for syphilis. A syphilis test now will be conclusive. It shares a three month testing window with hiv.

Here's what you need to know in order to avoid hiv infection:

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together.

To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex without a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

Anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results.

Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!

Ann

[pieters]

Hi Ann,
Thanks for the reply. That's one of my biggest worries. If I contracted syphilis thata easily using a condom and with such a brief encounter of 30 secs, my mind is working out all possible options.. mostly negative thoughts... and the scare of HIV has increased... I understood what you told, the same thing I believed in that condoms are safe.. BTW, this is my first ever sexual encounter outside my relationship. If I go and get tested for syphilis and test positive, I may not muster courage for HIV testing. So, i want to have HIV testing first.. but even that is scaring me.. frankly Ann.. not that I didnt understand what you said before.. what are my chances reg HIV with this encounter?

Some one please provide me the courage to go and get tested...

Thanks,
Pieters

[Ann]

what are my chances reg HIV with this encounter?

Pieters,

Exceedingly small to the point of being non-existent. As I told you, you did NOT have a risk for hiv infection.

You do not necessarily have syphilis either. You do, however, need to be tested because of the painless sore you had on your penis.

Syphilis is MUCH MUCH MUCH more easily transmitted than hiv.

Hiv is NOT transmitted via skin-to-skin contact. Syphilis IS transmitted through skin-to-skin contact.

Condoms do not always protect against syphilis. They DO protect against hiv.

You should NOT go to a clinic with the intention of being tested for only one thing or the other. You SHOULD go to a clinic with the intention of being given a FULL panel of STI testing, including but NOT limited to hiv and syphilis testing.

If you do by chance test positive for syphilis, it does not automatically mean you will test positive for hiv. I cannot say too many times that syphilis (and many other STIs) are MUCH more easily transmitted than hiv could ever hope to be.

Do not be afraid to test for any STI - including hiv. It is far more dangerous (and scary) to allow an STI or hiv to be present in your body, untreated, and doing untold damage to your health. Most people who die from hiv related causes in the 21st century are only dying because they were diagnosed too late. If you have to be hiv positive, early diagnosis is what will save your life and health.

I do fully expect you to test hiv negative over this situation. You can have a conclusive result TODAY with a simple rapid hiv test. GO DO IT to put your mind at ease (that's the only reason you need to test). Make sure you also test for ALL the other, more easily transmitted infections as well.

Ann

[pieters]

Hi Ann,
I don't know what should I say here to express my gratitude to you. Today, exactly 2 days after being on this forum, after your last post, I gathered wild courage to get tested and imagine, it is NEGATIVE. (Sigh).

The report says, 0.31, non-reactive. Method followed was ELECTROCHEMILUMINESCENCE IMMUNO ASSAY. Is this good enough?

[Andy Velez]

Yes, that just confirms what we already knew here: you were not at risk and you are HIV negative.

Get on with your life.

[Ann]

Pieters,

Sorry about the late response - I've been moving house.

It's no surprise you tested hiv negative - but did you also test for the other, more easily transmitted STIs including syphilis? You seriously need to do this and I hope you already have. I'm glad to hear my post gave you the courage to test for hiv - and I hope it also gave you the courage to test for everything else as well.

I hope my posts also give you the courage to have a complete sexual health check up at least once a year. It's no different to having a yearly dental check up - you may not have a toothache, but you go anyway. It's what responsible adults do to protect and maintain their health.

Ann

[pieters]

Hi Ann,
Thanks a lot for your follow up. I haven't got checked for them yet, but for sure I am gonna get checked for them. As I told, I wanted to have this HIV thing off my radar.. so I can peacefully go and get checked for all the other STDs. Actually, in my post, I wrote exactly 3 months, it isn't. I wrote it by mistake. When I got checked for HIV on Wednesday, it was 10 weeks and 4 days.

I am planning to get checked for other STDs in a week's time. I hope I don't have herpes. Also, 10 week and 4 days HIV result.. is that sufficient? Or shall I do it in another week?

[Andy Velez]

Yes, the 10 weeks plus is ok for you for the result because you actually never had a real risk for HIV.

Good luck with the other tests.

[pieters]

Andy, thanks a lot...
Hi Ann,
I booked an appointment with a doctor for the complete screening. I am not sure if I should include HIV also in that, after my 73 day negative result. It is cuasing jitters in me again... 

Thank you

[Ann]

Pieters,

While you do not need further hiv testing, it's good that you are getting a complete sexual health check up. Please make it a routine event once or twice a year from here on out.

Ann

[pieters]

Hi Ann,
An update and a question... 2 months before, on Jan 25th afternoon, I went to a doctor who is a specalist in STD treatment. I explained to him my situation, showed him the 10.5 week or 73 day report, which was negative. He asked me to get checked for HIV again, since it would be 3 months. He physically examined my penis and refused to test for any thing else, but insisted on HIV testing. I told him about the scab I found, but he said, if it were Herpes I would have come running to him, so not herpes, but after my stern insistence, he ordered for VDRL, which I assumed was for syphilis testing.

Both came back negative. Oct 29th night 2011 was the time the incident happened. I got tested twice, once on Jan 11 2012 and on Jan 25th 2012. Both the times the HIV testing came back negative, with the syphilies test also negative accompanying the 2nd negative HIV result.

Does this put me in the clear? Sometimes, when I am thinking of what I went through all these 3 months, I still feel the shiver in my spine.. Doubts keep creeping in with questions like "What if" it took longer.... For this only reason, I have been kepping my wife away for the past 5 months quoting all kinds of stupid reasons...

Please help....

[Andy Velez]

Yes, the 10 weeks plus is ok for you for the result because you actually never had a real risk for HIV.

Good luck with the other tests.

You don't seem to be listening to our responses. You never had a risk to begin with. So it's no surprise that you have conclusively tested negative. You ARE HIV negative. Period. End of story.

If you come back with more unnecessary drama and speculation you are going to very quickly find yourself getting a Time Out from the site.

HIV is not your problem. Get on with your life.

[pieters]

Andy,Ann and Rapid.... I know this might warrant a warning.. but I am not able to keep my fear and emotions under control.

I have been suffering from knee joint pains and some discomfort in my eye for the past one month. Invariably, my mind and fears take me to HIV.

Are these symptoms anyway related to a HIV related infection? Is there any chance that my 2 antibody tests (taken at 10 and 12 weeks) be wrong?

What about this arthritis or somethig,, which looks like producing the same sort of symptoms I have now? I am getting sleepless due to this.

Thanks for your help... Thinking of another test is very scary you see..

No sexual activity since my last exposure in October last year...

[Ann]

pieters,

How could your test results be wrong when you NEVER HAD A RISK IN THE FIRST PLACE??? Even if you DID have a risk, your twelve week result would be conclusive.

YOU DO NOT HAVE HIV. End of story.

If you can't let go of this, go seek out the services of a therapist. We cannot help you with that here and furthermore, it simply isn't our job.

I'm giving you that time out Andy warned you about. Do not attempt to create a new account to get around your time out because if you do, you will be permanently banned.

Ann

[jkinatl2]

Andy,Ann and Rapid.... I know this might warrant a warning.. but I am not able to keep my fear and emotions under control.

I have been suffering from knee joint pains and some discomfort in my eye for the past one month. Invariably, my mind and fears take me to HIV.

Are these symptoms anyway related to a HIV related infection? Is there any chance that my 2 antibody tests (taken at 10 and 12 weeks) be wrong?

What about this arthritis or somethig,, which looks like producing the same sort of symptoms I have now? I am getting sleepless due to this.

Thanks for your help... Thinking of another test is very scary you see..

No sexual activity since my last exposure in October last year...

Why does it have to be HIV? Why is that even a thought? You have tested reliably, most assuredly, completely HIV negative. Mainly because, and I think this has escaped you thus far -

 YOU did NOT have a RISK in the FIRST place.

I cannot stress that enough.

I have to tell you, it's borderline offensive, where your mind is going here. HIV is NOT a punishment for illicit activity. It is a virus. One that can only be acquired in certain specific ways - and these ways are NOT "bad" or deserving of punishment.

The emotional turmoil you have been going through- and are obviously still going through - is entirely of your own making. This forum simply can't help you with that. I urge you to work through this, and find a way to reconcile yourself to the fact that you do NOT have HIV.