Shock of my life

[PerfectlyHuman]

Hello, I am a 28 year old black male and just got tested positive for HIV on the 12th of June 12, 2012.

Well it started like this, I work for the state as a Correctional Officer and some days before my diagnoses I was attacked by an inmate with an unknown liquid substance so the next day I went to take regular blood test just for the heck of it and also incase I needed Worker's Comp in the future. I got a missed call from the clinic but didn't reply immediately. A few days later I went in to see my doctor because I was having some painful boils or pimples, itching, and fever. My doctor came in and after I got done talking about my health issues, I got the shock of my life. The doctor said I was HIV positive.

I took HIV test just last year around December and was negative. I have always used protection but remember that at one time I didn't but there wasn't any full penetration. Matter fact it was just nothing but foreplay as far as I was concerned. I told the doctor that it couldn't be true and I was sent out to do another test. I was so distraught.

A few days later I decided to go and take a rapid test with my sisters and it came out Preliminary Positive. When the guy broke the news to me I broke down and cried for the 1st time. I was told it wasn't the end of the world for me. I asked if there was a chance I could ever have a child again and the man told me no which of course is a big lie.

My sisters knew I was going to take the test and were anxious to know the result. I had told them earlier about a previous incident at my job in which I had a use of force involving an inmate and the inmate bled a lot during the incident and told me that he was had AIDS and I was going to get it.

Well after I got the bad news, cried and then stopped, I cleaned my face and met up with them like nothing really happened. One of them was already crying. We got into the car and the more she cried the more agitated I got and I screamed "I got it but its not the end of the world." My brother who I also told about the issue called to know if I got the result. I lied about it but once I let my sisters leave, I told him. He comforted me. Later when I got home, I simply told my sisters that  I just had Chlamydia not HIV and they believed me.

Well I went to an HIV clinic and they did my baseline. I was told I had a viral load of 4000. I am now scheduled to see a doctor in a few weeks. I also did a Western Blot test which I am still waiting to hear from them about the result. I am not even sure if that is important anymore.

Two positive anti-body test and viral load of 4000. I gotta be HIV positive then. Right?

I am going back to school to finish up my Bachelors Degree, while I am about to get my Associates Degree next semester. I still have goals to get my Masters.

I am trying to be positive. I still go out, and visit friends but they don't know. The only people I have told are my brother and one of my sisters. They have been so supportive. I just hate the fact that I might for the rest of my life have to be on meds just to live. I don't know about what will happen to my love life. I hope that at least an eventual functional cure is discovered by research companies like Sangamo. I have read about the Visconti Cohorts. I am going to start medication immediately and just hope that with it I can survive. 

I have always paid have prices for my mistakes but never thought I will be paying for this one with my life and health.

[mecch]

I think this is in the wrong section. 

Things are not adding up! Wait for Western Blot verification.

Your timeline argument is that one day you are attacked, the next day get an HIV test and you seem to be saying it was positive, revealed to you "a few days later".

A person does not have contact with HIV and then test HIV positive the next day. 

I hear you that you were HIV negative in December.  But if you are HIV+ now it was not from the attack and the unknown liquid, which you don't even explain as to how it presented a risk.

[Common_ground]

Maybe PF can clarify what happen but I think the attack only made him go for a check up, from his post it doesn't seem like he actually thought he got it from the attack anyway.

It was after all 2 months since he tested poz so he should have got a western confirmation already....?

Feel free to chime in again PF! Plenty of great folks around here to help and give support.

[Andy Velez]

I've moved your thread here. This is where your entries should be until your HIV diagnosis is confirmed by a western blot positive. If you test negative on the western blot that trumps the earlier positives and you will be HIV negative.

Keep us posted regarding your result.

[PerfectlyHuman]

The attack is what made me go and get checked. I'm not saying I got the HIV because the inmate threw some liquid at me. If he hadn't done that I still would have been walking around thinking all was well with me. I thank the bastard for doing what he did because now I know I have this and can start fighting it.

I went and checked my Western Blot result 2 days ago and yes I am POSITIVE.
I don't want to bother my parents with this news even though my sister keeps telling me to let them know for legitimate and understandable reasons but my parents got enough stress to deal with already.

I'm remaining as positive as I can be even though a few times when no one is around I break down. Still work out and trying to not get depressed by keeping up with my friends. The stigma and feeling that even as good looking as I am I will be easily rejected even by those who find me attractive once they know is killing me. I'm hoping I do find that true love with someone preferably POZ as well because I don't want to go through the hassle of explaining myself. I usually don't even pursue someone a lot.

GOSH how could I have done this to myself? I hope I find the needed via this forum.

[mecch]

Sorry to hear that.
Anyway stick around the forum. 
Getting diagnosed is a shock to the system and it'll take time for a lot of these things to sort out.  But dont worry love and relationship and all that is still very possible.

Also, all your educational goals....

Also, don't rush on the disclosure front. You got a few people in life and this forum. There's no need to tell anyone until you are good and ready to do so. Tell your brother and sister you are happy to have their support and they can just CHILL on your parents needing to know.  Why do they need to know right away?  Have you got your own insurance?

[Ann]

Mecch, you KNOW you're not supposed to post in the Am I Infected forum.

PH, you may now start posting in the I Just Tested forum.

I'm happy to hear you acknowledge that you did not get infected from the bodily fluid thrown at you - hiv isn't transmitted that way.

I'll lock this thread now. See you on the other side.

Ann