POZ Community Forums
Main Forums => Someone I Care About Has HIV => Topic started by: MissMissy on August 18, 2009, 09:36:22 pm
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Hi I'm new my name is Missy.
Well here it is my dad just found that he is HIV positive, and that he has Syphilis. While he assures us that he never cheated on my mom, I'm not sure I believe him. But what I'm really trying to say is I don't know what to say or do. I don't want to act any differently around him but I'm not sure what to do.
Can one offer any advice
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You have at least two different roads to travel, here.
One is to reestablish communication and trust with your father, given that you don't believe his fidelity, and with good cause!!!!
The other is to support him in this time which is very very stressful, finding out he is positive. Also, I bet he is in a pickle with your mom. So, both of them - imagine the shock!
My suggestion is that first things first. Since he was honest enought and trusts in you enough for you to know this event, then you can return the confidence and tell him you love him and are ready to support him in anyway he pleases. (He might want nothing)
When then chill out after a couple of months, when his syyphillis is cleared and he has more info on his HIV status, then you can start talking about the two roads you want to travel, and see if he wants to be communicative and honest and what kind of support he may or may not need.
Good luck!
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You have at least two different roads to travel, here.
One is to reestablish communication and trust with your father, given that you don't believe his fidelity, and with good cause!!!!
The other is to support him in this time which is very very stressful, finding out he is positive. Also, I bet he is in a pickle with your mom. So, both of them - imagine the shock!
My suggestion is that first things first. Since he was honest enought and trusts in you enough for you to know this event, then you can return the confidence and tell him you love him and are ready to support him in anyway he pleases. (He might want nothing)
When then chill out after a couple of months, when his syyphillis is cleared and he has more info on his HIV status, then you can start talking about the two roads you want to travel, and see if he wants to be communicative and honest and what kind of support he may or may not need.
Good luck!
Thanks for the advice. We did get some good news my mom is HIV negative but she does have Syphilis and says although she doesn't believe that he was faithful as he says he was she's not going to live him. She says the damage is done and now is the time to trust God and stick this thing out.
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Wow, good news!
Your mom and dad will eventually need to communicate more, but it sounds like there is some good will!