Latino in Chicago newly diagnosed on 03/2009

[ChicagoLatino]

So this is my story.  I met this guy on New Years Eve and it was awesome.  He wasnt as attractive as I usually go for but our personalities clicked.  We saw eachother ever day for 3 weeks straight and I thought I found the one.  After our second week of dating we started having sex but were using condoms.  The beginning of Feb we had sex without a condom both ways (topping and bottoming).  The second or third week in Feb things were basically horrible.  He got really sick and I wasnt sure what was going on.  I was tested in December and new i was negative. Then he started really distancing himself and i didnt know what was going on.  I hadnt talked to him in a couple days and then I was going out of town for Spring break.  He called me and told me he needed to talk to me and it was really important.  I was unable to meet up with him because i had so much stuff to do.  I went and got tested the day before I went out of town.  While i was gone on vacation I never heard from him.  I then went to this club 3 nights into my trip and was getting a hotties number and my phone was broken.  So i didnt get the guys number and I also lost every connection i had to the world.  I came back from my vacation and went to the doctors to get all of my results and discovered i was positive.     I was dating this guy and had no way of getting in touch with him.  I went to his job but he was no longer at that store and they wouldnt tell me which store he worked at.  I lost his number and his friends numbers so i had no way of getting in touch with him.  When I discovered what happened I cant help but to think is this what he needed to talk to me about.  Now I feel lost.  I am 26, still in school, working as a waiter at a restaurant that doesnt offer insurance.  I am going to an awesome clinic that specializes in HIV but I have never felt more alone.  I tried going to a group for men with HIV but everyone there was so much older than me and they have had it for so many years.  The first meeting we sat and talked to eachother and there was this guy who was  a little younger than me and was diagnosed two years ago.  He told me he has a great partner but has had it since before he found out.  He has been in and out of the hospital 7 times and I all of a sudden got so scared.  I feel like I am destined to be alone.  Another thing is everyone one was white.  I didnt feel like i connected to anybody.  I am scared if i find an hiv - partner they will not want to be with me bcuz i am +.  I also feel that if I find a + partner im risking cross infection which i heard is not good.  Then i also feel like what will happen if i end up in the hospital.  I have no insurance and I dont want to mess up in school now.  I also feel a little threatened because my major is Biology and i want to be a middle school teacher.  I am afraid i will not be able to follow my dream and teach. 

For the more positive part of my story I feel excellent.  I work out 4-5x a week.  I have some really good friends and family members that keep me grounded.  I have an extremely positive outlook.  when I got my first set of results back my cd4 was around 267 and now it is almost 500.  I am not on any medication and hope to stay off as long as possible.  I also worry about future medical coverage.  What happens when I start in my career and want to get insurance.  Will this be covered or no becuse its pre-existing?  I guess you can see from my post i have so much blankness going on because I am not sure wht to do...

Thank you for reading
ChicagoLatino

[xyahka]

Hola ChicagoLatino, bienvenido a los foros.

Quería darte solo una sugerencia, lo que sucede es que esta parte del foro es para escribir en Español, igual varios te entendemos pero talvez hayan algunas personas que no, entonces talvez escribir en español si te es posible resulte más fácil para los demás.

Te comento que sentir temores los primeros meses después del diagnóstico es muy normal, yo recuerdo mi primera gripe.... pensé que moriría... y no fue así. También es cierto que uno se compara con otros... pero la realidad es que cada persona es diferente y la forma de que el virus evolucione en ti es muy diferente a la de otros... yo conocí a alguien que tuvo que comenzar medicinas 6 meses después de diagnósticado y pensé que me sucedería igual... pero mirame... llevo más de dos años y aún no las necesito. Lo que trato de decir es.... escucha y aprende de todos, pero se consciente que aún tienes el control sobre tu vida y que tus acciones afectan el avance del virus en ti, hay muchos buenos hábitos que hacen que tu cuerpo resista más tiempo.

Sobre el amor.... well.... es el punto más complicado de todo... al menos en américa latina, debes sentirte contento de vivir en USA, allá existe gente mucho más abierta sobre relaciones serodiscordantes que acá, así que tus posibilidades son mayores de encontrar alguien especial que te acepte como eres.

Un abrazo y mucha suerte.

Juan Carlos

[Dennis]

Welcome ChicagoLatino.

I just want to dispel your fears about school and your dream of becoming a teacher. I'm 38 years old and was diagnosed when I was 19. I'm currently attending school and majoring in Exceptional Student Education. I plan to teach 1-3 grades. I worked this past school year as a Teacher's Aide. My ex partner is also teacher and is HIV+.

I guess what I'm trying to say is despite being HIV+, you can still fulfill your dreams of becoming a teacher.

You have a long life ahead of you if you take care of yourself and monitor your health regularly.

Ciao,
Dennis

[Dennis]

double post

[Andy Velez]

Chicago, I responded earlier to your same posting in I JUST TESTED POZ.

You can't post the same thread in several Forums. And this is strictly a Spanish-language Forum.

Para otros leyendo aqui, lo que Chicago estas diciendo aqui es una duplicacion del mismo que tienes en el otro Foro, I JUST TESTED POZ. Los miembres no pueden entrar la misma cosa en dos Foros.

Chicago, tu tienes que decidir adonde desea a quedar con su situacion. Tu puede escribir en este Foro, pero solamente si es sobre algo diferente que estas on otra parte de los Foros.

Gracias por su cooperacion.

[GodSon83]

Hola Latino ! Me gustaría saber tu nombre.

Tu historia me resulta particularmente familiar.
Conociste a un chico que pensabas que te amaba o a quién podías amar, y depositaste tu confíanza
en él al tener relaciones sin protección. O lo entendí asi.
A mi me ocurrió algo similar.
Tengo 25 años trabajo y estudio mi maestría, y hace 8 meses me diagnosticaron ser vih +, sé que es ese tiempo, pues la prueba de rutina anterior que me hice fue un mes antes de tener relaciones sin protección con el que fuera mi pareja y salí negativo.
Si  desde entonces todo ha sido un mundo lleno de interrogantes.
Podré cumplir todas mis metas trazadas?
Estoy muy jóven. Qué pasará con el amor?
Cuando alguien con quien salga se entere que soy positivo.

No lo sé, es verdad como dice Juan Carlos, el amor es complicado. Pero lo es con o sin vih.
Cada que conozco un niño "bien" me aterra el pensar, que su familia podría hacer alguna cosa
por separarlo de mi, por mi situación como vih +.

Llevo casi un año, mis CD4 están muy bien gracias a Dios, creo que mi buen estado de ánimo, mis amigos
y mi familia, me han mantenido asi.
Hace un mes, salí con 1,025 de CD4, y espero estar asi un buen tiempo.
Estoy tomando vitaminas, y claro como BASTANTE BIEN.
Quiero estar bien la mayor parte del tiempo.

Si gustas un amigo, aquí lo tienes.
Algún correo electrónico?
Para estar en contacto. Gracias.