Making the decision to have kids...

[CallingAllAngels]

For those of you who are moms, and decided to have kids after being diagnosed (if there are some of you here? Not sure, but I think there are)... would you mind telling me what your thoughts were at the time about giving birth? I'm in my early 20s and I'd LOVE to have kids, but even with all the preventative measures there are, I'd be hesitant to get pregnant if I thought there was a chance of giving this to my little one. Any thoughts? Anything you took or did, to lower that risk?

[Queen Tokelove]

I really have nothing to add on it since I had my kids before becoming poz. I thought I would make a suggestion instead. I don't know if this subject is something you just want to share with the ladies but check out the Living With forum because Morton Salt just started a thread on this very subject or you can start your own if you don't mind sharing with the general forum. I think you may get more replies there.

[CallingAllAngels]

Thanks, QA. I'll check out that section/thread.

(Still finding my way around, a wee bit, here)

Calling

[zachysmom]

Hey Angels,
I decided to have a child after the fact of diagnosis. I had a really great Doctor who I was seeing at the ID clinic , who by chance happened to be a OBGYN as well. She was trully excited to have the opportunity to have a poz mother deliver a healthy negative child and was very optomistic my child would be negative. I am happy to report he is, been declared so by Oakland Childrens Hospital.
You have nothing to worry about, just do as the docs tell you.Which isn't much different except for taking meds starting at 16-20 weeks gestation. The chance of transmission is around 20% without meds, the reason for this is the baby's blood doesn't mix with the mother's. The placenta filters all the nutrients and waste, that's how a mother can have a blood type different than her babies. The virus is very small and still at times pass through the placenta, but that's why it's at 20% not 100%. With antiviral meds that are safe (I believe cat4 or5) to take during pregnancy, the chances are reduced to about 1%. Yah, that's a huge difference. There is still a chance but almost non existent.
You are still quite young, and as long your're in good health before pregnancy, you should have no problem conceiving and delivering a child.
My doc was even pushing me to have a natural delivery, which I was uncertain about, I ended up having a c-section only because I didn't dilate past 3 centimeters. But that's a whole nother story I might share one day on the forum, but I think I'll bore some people to death.
so good luck, and let us know if you get pregnant.

much love,
Nicole

[catwoman]

zachysmom,
Did you conceive naturally and was your partner + or -?

[Lovinglife]

I have been positive for over 22 years.  When I was infected there was no treatments and very little hope.  The hardest thing for me was thinking that I would never have a child.  I could not look at a pregant women without crying.  I chose not to have children; my health was not stable until the new meds came out 12 years ago.  Today I am 41 years old and  I still long to have a child; but today I do not think it is an option for me.  The blessing is that last year my twin sister had a baby boy, so I am able to enjoy her child.  I have known many women that have had children and the children are fine.  I wish you the best, and always remember to follow your heart.

[zachysmom]

Hi everyone,
 I conceived naturally, my husband is positive as well. It was a accident that I got pregnant, but It's all good. I have no regretts at all. and I am here for all the women who are going through it or contemplating it.
I know how shitty it feels not to have anyone to talk with, because I didn't, and it's horrible having to face it alone. that's why this site is like a god send.


Good luck,
Nicole

[Rasheen]

Hi,

I didn't know I had HIV until I was in my fourth month of pregnancy. I gave birth to a little boy who is now two. He did not get the virus thanks to the medications and taking care of myself. It was really scarey waiting for those results. Good luck whatever decision you make.

~~Rasheen