Talked to my partner yesterday

[Eyesing]

My partner lives overseas, and I didn't tell him my + result right away, I thought I would just wait a few more weeks until I was back home overseas with him.  I changed my mind pretty quickly though, I felt it was only fair, so I told him yesterday on the phone.  At first I could tell that the government over there didn't do such a great job of keeping people up to date on HIV treatments and such... in fact he even said to me that he wouldn't tell his mom, but he would just use different SPOONS and PLATES when she was visiting! LoL  Oh boy... so we had a long talk after he said that.

Ok, so we have the talk and I filled him in on how HIV is actually spread and all the new meds and things that are out there.  He was amazed, and seemed to feel a lot less scared about the situation then, and handled it very well.  Then he set off to get tested the same day.

He called me after his trip to the hospital, and he obviously talked to a very well-informed doctor there, because he was talking all about the different treatments and CD4 levels and all kinds of things.  He clearly felt a lot better.  He also got a blood test while he was there, but they said it came back "inconclusive" or something like that.  !?!?!?  They asked him if he had taken any medications recently - and he said he had taken a sleeping pill or something - and they thought that might have interfered with the test results.  They did check his CD4 levels though, and that was at a completely normal level.  So they took his blood again and told him to return the next day (today).

Now, I am pretty sure I know when I seroconverted when I look back on things... and he had gotten a random high fever and sore throat and fatigue for about 10 days once, and it happened to be a couple of weeks after we messed around without a condom.  My (assumed) conversion was a high fever and lots of fatigue that appeared during an otherwise normal sinus infection that I get a couple times a year, but they never involve fever or feel this bad... and when he got sick so randomly, I was freaking out at the time and told him then that I think we need to get tested... which we eventually failed to do until now.  (that was about 5 or 6 months ago)

So back to today... I just talked to him and the hospital told him he is NEGATIVE!!!  We are both amazed and totally happy obviously... BUT, still so confused at how his test yesterday could come out inconclusive???  Is that normal?  We have both been assuming for the last 24 hours that he was +, because we thought maybe his high CD4 levels were just confusing the staff... but now they say he is negative.

He is going somewhere else today to get tested again... but... I really hope that the negative result is correct.  The doctor he talked to there obviously knew what she was talking about, so I don't see any reason to think they are incompetent, but now very anxious for some confirmatory results.

Anyway... just had to share... it is such a weight off of my shoulders that his test came back negative today.  We obviously assumed he was + after the weird result yesterday, so today was a little party.

[Finnboy]

... BUT, still so confused at how his test yesterday could come out inconclusive???  Is that normal?

It really depends on the type of test. ELISA tests rely on interpretation, which leaves a grey area where the test could be either positive or negative – which is why, in many countries, results are never reported as conclusively positive unless they have also been confirmed by a Western Blot.

I am pleased for you though. Telling your partner and waiting for their result is one the worst set of feelings ever, in my experience.

[ARMANDO]

you have to understand that HIV can remain dormant up to 2 yrs ,so even though he may have tested  negative right now ,he will have to get re-tested every 6 months just to make sure!!

[Eyesing]

The party was short-lived.  He got re-tested at the red cross, and told he is "weakly positive".  I'm so sad that I won't be there for him for a few weeks still... he doesn't want to tell any friends or family because he is afraid most of them will think they can catch it so easily from him and he will not see them anymore.  Ugh... his CD4 count is still very high, and his VL is 206 or something like that... maybe I should have just waited a few weeks so I could be there with him through this...

[GSOgymrat]

Sorry to hear about your partner. My first test came back "indeterminate" which often means a recent infection. I'm very glad he is becoming educated. Please recommend this site to him-- as you know it is full of good information.  Remember that you have each other to lean on as you are going through this.

[Lisa]

I would still recommend he follow through with a confirmatory Western Blot, before you both get too bummed out about this.
If that is positive, then you can both get on board with whatever changes you need to make to stay as healthy as possible for as long as possible.
I'll be thinking of you both, and am sending lots of positive thoughts your way.
Hang in there.

[Finnboy]

I just want to second what Lisa said. The significance of a 'weakly positive' test really depends on the type of test and the setting in which it was done. Only a confirmatory test will give a conclusive positive.

[penguin]

you have to understand that HIV can remain dormant up to 2 yrs ,so even though he may have tested  negative right now ,he will have to get re-tested every 6 months just to make sure!!

this is a completely false statement armando - hiv does not remain "dormant"

eyesing - welcome to the forums -  i hope you and your partner can find support here. let us know how things go with the confirmatory tests - whatever the outcome, there are people here to help and support you both.

kate

[Eyesing]

Thank you for the replies everyone.

We are both pretty confused at the type of testing that he has been getting... my test was a thing they put a drop of blood in, a faint line appeared, and they told me it was 99% certain I'm +, but will do a confirmatory test too.

For him, the first hospital seems to just have looked at his CD4 count and... not sure what else.  That was completely normal anyway.  At the second place he got tested, they seem to have measured his viral load as part of his HIV test?  Because they told him it was around 206.  So wouldn't that mean he's + ??  I'm guessing if you are negative it should be undetectable?

Anyway... I already have a doctor appointment for when I go back for who I am told is the best HIV doctor where we live (and it at one of the fancy tourism hospitals, which is very very nice)... so we will bring it up with her and I'm sure he'll get a third test done!  Ugh.

He sounds so bummed out on the phone now.  Before he got his first test, I think he was really ready for any result that he got, because we had talked a lot about the medications and things available now, and he seemed to be ready to take it on together.  But then after he got the negative result... he was so excited, and even went to a temple for half the day to say thanks.  And so... after getting the positive... well, he's had quite the roller coaster ride these last couple days.

I just went and bought a new phone card so I can talk to him all night until he's tired enough to fall asleep. heh  Good night all!

[Bucko]

you have to understand that HIV can remain dormant up to 2 yrs ,so even though he may have tested  negative right now ,he will have to get re-tested every 6 months just to make sure!!

To elaborate on what my friend Kate (Penguin) said:

Any test taken 13 weeks post-exposure is considered definitive unless the person being tested is undergoing chemotherapy or is a long-term chronic IV drug user. In such cases, antibodies might take up to six months to show up, but such cases are very rare generally and not relevant to the discussion at hand.

HIV does not "remain dormant", and two years is absurd. Before you post such nonsense, Armando, you really do need to learn your facts.