POZ Community Forums
Main Forums => Living With HIV => Topic started by: zeb on January 22, 2007, 06:28:46 pm
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Hi all,
A simple question, ut also becouse I'm interested in your lives with HIV: How are you doing?
Do dreams come true, is the emotional live more intense, is there still pain, do you have ambitions, are you making a career, or have you started a new study.
Please, I like to now about your lives.
greetz zeb
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I think I was surprised at how little my life changed.
Do dreams come true? Sometimes. But no more or less than they did when I was negative.
Emotions more intense? Nope.
I'm terribly unambitious... except when it comes down to things which don't matter at all. Like Ladytron tickets.
My life is pretty much the same as it was before... I mean, I do have to disclose to sex partners and all that stuff... but I've gotten used to it. Going to the doctor... taking medication... it's kind of getting to be second nature to me.
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How about you, Zeb? How's it been?
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Ummmm, yes.
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Ummmm, yes.
I disagree! ;D
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YOU would!
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I still don't know how I am doing. But, I have a lot of really cool tattoos, a really cool job, really cool friends, and can recite the Prologue to the Canterbury Tales in Middle English, sing a mighty fine rendition of Up On The Roof and still wonder out loud about why the sky in such a deep color of blue. I also think crickets are really cool bugs, love the snow, the make really good borshch even though I am not Russian. So there.
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Me? I am depressed over the whole thing.
I am not happy.
Jeff
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Interesting question.
Do dreams come true? I don't know seems to be about the same. I will say it seems like God balanced things out for me a bit. I found out I was HIV+ in August. My old boyfriend/fiance looked me up in November and now we are back together and talking about marriage.
Are emotions more intense? I think so for me. I cried a lot in the beginning, now not as much. But I do find I brood a bit more. I worry about having kids. I worry more about getting sick and who will take care of things. I worry about what will happen when more of my family finds out, what will happen if work finds out, what will happen if friends find out. I especially wonder what might happen if friends that have kids find out. Will I no longer be welcome?
Do I have ambitions? A career? Well I was beginning to think about changing my job anyway before I found out my status. I was thinking about changing jobs in August 2007 or so. I've pretty much been on the road for 9 years and live in one state during the week and MD on the weekends. Now however I am rethinking changing because of health care, short term disability, et al. What to do? I could go on about this for hours. About how I was told again that I wasn't getting a promotion... although I'm a 'solid performer'... but I'll stop lest I sound ungrateful for having a good job with benefits that makes my otherwise $1200/mth medications cost me $50/mth.....
Other stuff I think a lot of folks have said this, but getting my diagnosis has made me reconsider things.... Enjoying my life more... Actually thinking about having/adopting kids rather than putting it off. Training to walk the half marathon instead of just talking about it. Doing more to eat healthy and work out, etc.
How about you Zeb?
TSW
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HI Zeb!
What a sweet and thoughtful question.. :)
Dreams come true? Well, I don't know about that..I've been dreaming about winning the Lottery for years now, nothings happened yet! :D
When I first tested positive, I went through sooo many emotions - I was an emotional roller coaster! Had days of ups, downs and spirals. I have to admit though, I still get emotional every now and then - hey, who doesn't? but the emotions are not as intense anymore.
I do believe that time does heal all wounds...they may leave scars but it gets better as time passes.
How about you?
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Hi Zeb,
The first few months after my diagnosis I didn't do too good. I had anxiety attacks and wondered if I had any future at all. Then I adjusted and got back on track. Here I am, just over a year into this thing. I feel better than I have in a long time and I have a great outlook on life. I"m working as hard as ever and making sure I have things set up for retirement. I'm planning on being around for a good long time.
Do dreams come true? I sure hope they do. I've still got a lot of them that I'm counting on. And career... I'm moving right on down the road with mine. I'm not going to let this virus get the best of me if I have anything to do with it. I'm going to take my meds, see my doctor, and take care of myself.
Oh, I think there is still pain, but isn't that just part of living sometimes. And who knows, maybe my knight in shining armor will come riding along and whisk me away. :-) I'm so ready for finally find Mr. Right.
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Well I'm doing fine and not fine. One day I can be hopeful and optimistic, the other day I'm worried about the future and the future care for my kids.
At these moments I tell myself: C'mon, be strong! Let's go for it! Sometimes that helps.
Because everything is so new to me I also feel like I'm living in a parallel world, the world of 'take care of your time, because there is only one time'.
Still I'm sad about the whole thing. I think I have to get used to it.
grtz Zeb
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You will Zeb, just give it time. Don't try to rush things. Your life can still be a good life.
Daniel
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Zeb
I can relate to you because I ask myself that question all the time. I will tell you that since my diagnosis 7 weeks ago I have been taking care of myself like never before. I sometimes take 2 showers a day. I clip my toenails and fingernails more often, i eat more veggies, I stopped doing recreational drugs and I don't stress out about little things anymore and I have gotten more compliments about the way I look now than never b4. My skin is smoother and since i been eating more I actually feel sexier having a fuller body. Before I was consumed about the waiste size the flat stomach, my hair, partying and stressing about daily things. I realized NONE of those things mattered anymore because they were destructive to myself and I already had a virus in my body destroying my T-cells so why would I damage myself more. I look myself in the mirror and realize how much damage I did to my body and how careless I was and promised myself I would not do those things again. I learned to respect my body and spirit. So it's time to take charge of yourself for your family and most of all for yourself. You got two kids to embrace and live for.