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HIV Prevention and Testing => Do I Have HIV? => Topic started by: Lasttime on June 13, 2007, 02:23:21 pm

Title: Insertive Anal Exposure ( Dipping ) PEP ???
Post by: Lasttime on June 13, 2007, 02:23:21 pm
Hi All

Please help me, I'm freaking out and already symptom searching. This was my first real scare and my only time having an accident that i think is a risk, but you be the judge...

Tuesday 12:30am i was went for some oral fun at the bath house, and i was in one of the small stalls they have with those glory holes in the walls the go to the next stall.

I felt a very moist, very very moist feeling on my penis and did not feel any moving motion. when there was no moving motion from the other guy in stall i reached through the hole and felt his bum. I moved away and went to the urinal to pee and wash off. the whole episode lasted no longer then 5-6 seconds at the very most.

I have never tried anal sex before and I'm not even sure if i penetrated him, I'm assuming that i did for a brief moment and it may have only been the head of my penis. I found out there is a name for this ( Dipping ) and I'm very concerned about HIV. I have thought about going to the hospital and asking for PEP but I talked to a few doctors and councilors at the San Fran city clinic and they seem to think it is not needed and the risk was not the great.

it felt like the other guy had so much lube on that for the first second or two when i felt that very wet moist feeling i thought it was his mouth. does lube do this ? would i know some how if i penetrated him? Should i go for PEP?

please help, if i need PEP i have only 33hours until the 72 hour dead line.

Thank you

Title: Re: Insertive Anal Exposure ( Dipping ) PEP ???
Post by: Bucko on June 13, 2007, 02:41:33 pm
Last-

Somehow I think you'd know if you penetrated him. In addition to being "moist", anuses tend to be a tad snug, even if they've been stretched.

But dipping is not the same as fucking. We discourage dipping because it leads to deeper penetration, not because it is in the same league of risky behaviours.

I wouldn't suggest PEP.

Brent
(Who knows what an ass feels like)
Title: Re: Insertive Anal Exposure ( Dipping ) PEP ???
Post by: Lasttime on June 13, 2007, 02:54:56 pm
but what if he had any cuts or hemoroids or was with a few guys before me.
The STD clinic in Toronto thinks this was extremly risky but when I asked about PEP they would not adise me either way...

Im so confused with all of this....

do you really think the risk was low, as low as oral sex?
Title: Re: Insertive Anal Exposure ( Dipping ) PEP ???
Post by: Matty the Damned on June 13, 2007, 04:36:29 pm
I agree with the Buckled One here. PEP is not warranted in this case. I disagree with the Toronto clinic when they suggest that this is a high risk situation. It isn't.

As Bucko notes the real problem with unprotected dipping is that it leads to unprotected fucking.

Nevertheless sexually active people should have a full STD screen at least once a year twice is better. A full STD screen will include an HIV antibody test. If it's been a while since your last full screen or if you've never had one before you might consider making an appointment with your doctor or local clinic.

I would also recommend that you take the time to read our Welcome Thread (http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=220.0) which contains links to our testing and transmission lessons.

MtD
Title: Re: Insertive Anal Exposure ( Dipping ) PEP ???
Post by: Lasttime on June 13, 2007, 04:56:34 pm
the anxiety has now full control over me, I have spend  the whole day in my office calling dozens of hotlines and reading over the internet. this is making me way more confused and anxious...

I think i have ruled out PEP, but im so scared and worried I dont know waht to do.

do you think think this warrants a HIV test?
if so do you think the test is more for peace of mind ? or that i would have been infected ?

Title: Re: Insertive Anal Exposure ( Dipping ) PEP ???
Post by: Matty the Damned on June 13, 2007, 05:10:34 pm
Last,

Look I really don't think you're gonna get HIV from this lone incident of dipping, but I would recommend testing in this case. More for your peace of mind than anything else. I would also suggest that you have the HIV test as part of a full STD screen.

But seriously there is really no need to upset yourself over this.

MtD
Title: Re: Insertive Anal Exposure ( Dipping ) PEP ???
Post by: Andy Velez on June 13, 2007, 07:55:45 pm
You need to stop surfing the net and calling HIV organizations right now. It only fuels your worst fears.

Even if you slightly and briefly penetrated this guy, (and I don't think you did), the risk was less than marginal. As Matty suggested, just for your peace of mind get tested at 13 weeks. In the meantime keep yourself productively busy and the waiting time will pass more quickly than you may imagine possible at this moment.

I do expect you will test negative.

Cheers,
Title: Re: Insertive Anal Exposure ( Dipping ) PEP ???
Post by: Lasttime on June 14, 2007, 09:58:54 am
Last night i mustarded up some corrage and went to the walkin clinic close to my house to ask the doctor what he thought. his response to this was completely the opposite that im getting from you folks.

his response was more to the effect that this was a huge risk for HIV. he said if this act was with a girl that i met from a bar and I had unprotected vaginal sex and unprotected anal sex it would still not be any way close to the risk of dipping my penis into another gay/bisexual male that I encounterd at a bath house. he also went on to tell me that bath houses are hang outs for gay/bisexual males that usually have STI's and HIV and do not care about catching or spreading any diasese....

I walked out of this clinic and thought this doctor was extremely reckless in the way he talked to me, but since he is a doctor they should know waht they are talking about. Right ?

who should I trust here, who knows more about this?
Title: Re: Insertive Anal Exposure ( Dipping ) PEP ???
Post by: Ann on June 14, 2007, 10:04:55 am
Last,

Doctors are human too and that means some of them are bigots.

I agree that your risk was marginal at best - you don't even know for sure if you penetrated him or not - and for your own peace of mind you should test at the three month point.

Anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results. Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv.

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL STIs together. To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with a sexually transmitted infection. Sex with a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through all three condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

Ann
Title: Re: Insertive Anal Exposure ( Dipping ) PEP ???
Post by: Bucko on June 14, 2007, 01:57:51 pm
Last-

As Ann explained, bigotry is not limited to the undereducated. I take exception with that doctor's characterization of sex clubs and the guys who frequent them. You yourself went there and don't resemble the portrait.

HIV cannot be transmitted by frottage (rubbing), and I'm still highly dubious of your having penetrated an anus without feeling it. I am intimately acquainted with the sensations of anal intercourse as a top, and will state again that no matter how slack, buttholes feel more than "moist".

As everyone else has suggested, getting routine STD testing twice yearly is an excellent idea and one I support wholeheartedly.

Brent
(Who never bottoms, ever)
Title: Re: Insertive Anal Exposure ( Dipping ) PEP ???
Post by: racingmind on June 14, 2007, 04:42:03 pm
the anxiety has now full control over me, I have spent the whole day in my office calling dozens of hotlines and reading over the internet. this is making me way more confused and anxious...

I think i have ruled out PEP, but I'm so scared and worried I don't know what to do.

do you think think this warrants a HIV test?
if so do you think the test is more for peace of mind ? or that i would have been infected ?

I think it's highly unlikely that the described incident would infect you....HOWEVER, that being said:  Since you frequent bath houses, I think it's a good idea to get tested for HIV/STDs  regularly....whether you think you might have been exposed or not.  I think some others in the forum might back me up on that one.  Good Luck, I'm sure you'll be fine.
Title: Re: Insertive Anal Exposure ( Dipping ) PEP ???
Post by: Ann on June 14, 2007, 04:53:42 pm
racing,

ANYONE who is sexually active, no matter WHERE they are sexually active, should be having regular, routine sexual health care check ups. Last has already been told this. They way you've put the information, you kinda sound like his doctor.

Please make sure you read the posting guidelines found in this forum's Welcome Thread (http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=220.0)

Thanks,
Ann
Title: Re: Insertive Anal Exposure ( Dipping ) PEP ???
Post by: Lasttime on June 15, 2007, 12:00:42 pm
72 hours has passed now, and PEP is no longer an option for me. I have been trying to keep myself busy and it does help with this anxiety, but there are still many times that when I have time to think, and all that I can think about is HIV..........

Last night I went out with some friends and it was all good, but when I got home I started to feel the glands in my neck. I did have some throbbing sensation on both sides. if glands in the neck are swollen is there and feelings associated with it?

I have no one here that I can talk to about this, and I feel better when I get responses from you folks. It gives me some reassurance that everything is going to be OK?

Sorry if I'm bothering anyone but for now you are all i have to turn too.

Title: Re: Insertive Anal Exposure ( Dipping ) PEP ???
Post by: redhotmuslbear on June 15, 2007, 01:01:59 pm
Last night I went out with some friends and it was all good, but when I got home I started to feel the glands in my neck. I did have some throbbing sensation on both sides. if glands in the neck are swollen is there and feelings associated with it?


Last,
It sounds like you are feeling your own pulse, nothing more.  Glands in the midst of HIV seroconversion or battling any other mounting infection would be swollen and sensitive to touch.

It also seems that, despite writing that you find reassurance here, you are digging desperately to produce signs to indicate that everything others have told you here was wrong.  You seem to want the incredible and the worst case to have befallen you.  I strongly encourage you to find a mental heatlh provider near you who can help you work through your anxiety before you transfer it from HIV to some other part of your life.

Best,
David
Title: Re: Insertive Anal Exposure ( Dipping ) PEP ???
Post by: Andy Velez on June 15, 2007, 02:55:02 pm
I agree that it's time for you to get some professional support. Our means are limited here and in some ways your continuing to come here will only fuel your fears.

You're not going to be told anything differently here than you had anywhere from a virtually no risk to a no risk incident for HIV.

If you can't stop torturing yourself over this incident then talk with a therapist or other professional to deal with the emotional  aspects of this situation. You already know what we think about this incident.

Title: Re: Insertive Anal Exposure ( Dipping ) PEP ???
Post by: Ann on June 15, 2007, 06:32:59 pm

Glands in the midst of HIV seroconversion or battling any other mounting infection would be swollen and sensitive to touch.


Glands do not necessarily show any signs of hiv infection, nor would they necessarily be swollen and sensitive to touch. Symptoms, or even the lack of symptoms, including anything going on with glands, will tell you nothing about your hiv status. Only the appropriate tests at the appropriate time will reliably reveal your hiv status.

Keep your hands off your glands. Poking and prodding them will cause problems.

Ann
Title: Re: Insertive Anal Exposure ( Dipping ) PEP ???
Post by: Lasttime on June 28, 2007, 02:12:17 pm
I am back!!!

Sorry, It is not a good thing.

Lastnight was a hard night and had a lot of anxiety so today I went to the Hassell Free Clinic in Toronto. The councler and I talked for a while and we have a past from previous issues that I have faced. Today he checked my Glands in my neck and told me they are not swollen. He also looked for any signs of STI and nothing was visable. I did a urine test as well. He then told me to come back next week and he will do the p24 antigen test. I am freaking out about this and can not stop my mind from thinking the worst.

What does this mean? Why if everyone is telling me that I have nothing to worry about would someone want to rush this test on me?

I have spent the last few hours chain smoking and balling my eyes out.

Can you please help calm me down
Title: Re: Insertive Anal Exposure ( Dipping ) PEP ???
Post by: RapidRod on June 28, 2007, 03:24:10 pm
Quote
Can you please help calm me down

That is something you'll have to do yourself. If one was to rush a test it would have been done last night.

Title: Re: Insertive Anal Exposure ( Dipping ) PEP ???
Post by: Bucko on June 28, 2007, 05:00:12 pm
Last-

When someone presents with the anxiety and terror you describe, the humane course of action is to respond in a way that will calm that person down. I think that explains the "rush to test".

But be warned that no antibody test is absolute until 13 weeks after the last unprotected incident, so whatever preliminary negative result you may obtain will not be definitive.

That IS NOT to say that I believe that you somehow inserted your penis into an anus without realizing it, or that even on the off chance that your dipping actually penetrated for about five seconds that it resulted in transmission.

Now I'm the last one to be judging another's sexual behavior, but may I suggest that, for your own peace of mind, you restrict your sex to partners you can actually see? Safer sex is much easier in a more intimate environment than a glory hole in a sex club, no matter how titillating the concept appears in theory.

Brent
(Who prefers to know what his partners look like, although he has many types)
Title: Re: Insertive Anal Exposure ( Dipping ) PEP ???
Post by: Lasttime on July 04, 2007, 02:24:03 pm
it is offical now, I have no more control and this has completly taken over my life.
I went to my Family doctor for a referal to a Phycologist or a phychiatrist and I am on a waiting list that is 2 - 3 months.

I can not keep my emotion under control anymore and all I do is cry and think about loosing my family. I have no one to talk to and no where to turn for help. I keep calling hot lines looking for some brief reassuance and the last guy I talked to made it very clear that this was unprotected anal sex!!! and no matter how brief top or bottom it is high risk!!!

I keep getting more and more symptoms and can't help think this is all HIV related. I have been getting a lot of headachs and the glands or lymphnodes under my neck are really bothering me. Yes I am pocking and proding at them but only because they feel weird....

I try to think so much and so hard if I did penetrate that guy but I am just not sure, so I think worst case is that I did breifly for a few seconds with no movement from either of us. I know i have already asked but I really need to hear it again. Please tell me how much risk I have put myself at and do I have to worry as much as I am. Please help me through the worst time in my life, in someway I will pay all this help back to someone one day....

Title: Re: Insertive Anal Exposure ( Dipping ) PEP ???
Post by: Bucko on July 04, 2007, 02:44:02 pm
Last-

Seriously, man...get a grip.

You DO realize that the volunteers staffing hotlines read from a script, right? They are not really supposed to assess subtleties when discussing risks. This is one of the problems with preventative measures regarding HIV. Everyone seems so squeamish about discussing the mechanics of sex that confusion and doubt often result.

This is not to say that their efforts are wasted, merely that sledgehammers make lousy flyswatters.

Think about this rationally. How could you have stuck your dick into an anus and not realize it? I'd bet that you had a mouth, or possibly just a well-lubed hand around the head of your penis. Anal sex is just so distinctive...

Your symptoms sound like stress run amok. They have nothing to do with HIV. None of this has anything to do with HIV. It's about guilt and remorse and stress.

Please breathe and get your mind elsewhere.

Brent
(Who is no stranger to panic attacks)
Title: Re: Insertive Anal Exposure ( Dipping ) PEP ???
Post by: Lasttime on July 04, 2007, 02:56:46 pm
Hi Brent

Thank you for trying to help me get past this... But It was the other guys ass. I put my hand through the glory hole and felt his ass there. This is why I am freaking out so much I have to think that I did penetrate him
and think that I just jeapordized my whole life and the life of my family too....

Guilt and remorse is writen all over my head. I can't hide it anymore my boss has talked to me as well as family members to find out what is wrong with me. All I do is think shake my legs unbtil they feel like falling off and cry my bloody eyes out...

I can't even get any help here. I have tried. the counclor at the hassle free clinic in Toronto talks with me once a week but even he thinks there is risk envolved with my stupid activity...
Title: Re: Insertive Anal Exposure ( Dipping ) PEP ???
Post by: RapidRod on July 04, 2007, 06:52:41 pm
Quote
I have to think that I did penetrate him
If you would have penetrated him, you wouldn't be thinking about it, you would have known.
Title: Re: Insertive Anal Exposure ( Dipping ) PEP ???
Post by: Bucko on July 04, 2007, 07:15:45 pm

Tuesday 12:30am i was went for some oral fun at the bath house, and i was in one of the small stalls they have with those glory holes in the walls the go to the next stall.

I felt a very moist, very very moist feeling on my penis and did not feel any moving motion. when there was no moving motion from the other guy in stall i reached through the hole and felt his bum. I moved away and went to the urinal to pee and wash off. the whole episode lasted no longer then 5-6 seconds at the very most.

I have never tried anal sex before and I'm not even sure if i penetrated him, I'm assuming that i did for a brief moment and it may have only been the head of my penis.


Hi Brent

Thank you for trying to help me get past this... But It was the other guys ass. I put my hand through the glory hole and felt his ass there. This is why I am freaking out so much I have to think that I did penetrate him
and think that I just jeapordized my whole life and the life of my family too....

Guilt and remorse is writen all over my head. I can't hide it anymore my boss has talked to me as well as family members to find out what is wrong with me. All I do is think shake my legs unbtil they feel like falling off and cry my bloody eyes out...

I can't even get any help here. I have tried. the counclor at the hassle free clinic in Toronto talks with me once a week but even he thinks there is risk envolved with my stupid activity...

Last-

Reread your "risk" as I have quoted it above. You are not even sure that you penetrated anything, and trust me, you really would know if you penetrated an anus. It's quite distinctive and unlike anything else. "Moist" is definitely not the first adjective that would come to my mind.

I suspected an underlying reason for such incredible remorse over such a simple activity, and now you mention a "family". I am the last one to judge the sexual activity of another, but propose once again that guilt, not risk, is the biggest factor in your panic.

I genuinely wish there was some way I could make you see how illogical and emotional this is. It's fear, not science.

You have piled so many suppositions into this poor topic that there's no room for any light or air. You do not know if you penetrated him. You do not know who he was. You do not know if he was poz. You do not know what his posture was when you had your dick in the glory hole...get real!

"Dipping" is discouraged not so much because of risk of HIV infection, but more because it leads to pushing further and making it officially unprotected intercourse.

Brent
(Who feels badly but can only speak with reason)
Title: Re: Insertive Anal Exposure ( Dipping ) PEP ???
Post by: Lasttime on July 05, 2007, 09:08:04 am
last night on my way home I stopped at the walk in clinic by my house to ask the doctor on duty if my glands and lymphnodes in my neck feel swollen. He felt them and told me they are a little swollen and tender.

I called the Hassle free Clinic and talked to a councilor there who also knows about my history, I told him about my glands and lymphnodes and I was just seen by a Doctor that said they are a little swollen and tender. The councilor said that glands and lymphnodes will not show any signs of swelling this early. is that correct?. He told me if it will make me feel better to come in Thursday morning to get a rapid HIV test. I know that a conclusive test is not conclusive until 13 weeks but will a test at 5 weeks give me some hope? is there any truth with a 5 week test?

He also said that if they do not have my urine test results back they will call the health department and get them over the phone when I go in on Thursday...

Last night I was not able to eat and my stomach felt like it was in knots. I woke up in the middle of the night and had a fairly heavy sweet and diarrhea when I went to the washroom.
Title: Re: Insertive Anal Exposure ( Dipping ) PEP ???
Post by: Ann on July 05, 2007, 09:28:58 am
Last,

Lymph gland can swell for all sorts of reasons - including feeling them all the time. Keep your hands OFF!

The vast majority of people who have actually been infected will seroconvert and test positive by six weeks, with the average time to seroconversion being 22 days. A test at six weeks would be better, but whether you test at five or six weeks, only a negative at three months is conclusive.

I'm fully expecting you to test negative and so should you.

Ann
Title: Re: Insertive Anal Exposure ( Dipping ) PEP ???
Post by: Lasttime on July 05, 2007, 02:21:17 pm
I just came back from the Hassle Free Clinic and here is what happened.

My regular councilor was not there so I meet with another councilor who I have also dealt with in the past.
He would not give me any rapid test until the 13 week point, but would do the P24 test on me. I refused that test for fear of what I have read. He did tell me that even if my penis went fully into the other guys ass but I pulled out right away that would not cause enough abrasions on the penis for an entry point for HIV. I asked about the Urethra and he explained that there would need to be blood present and there was still not enough time. He was very clear on he thought I really did not even need to test.

Just curious to hear your thoughts on this ?

the good news is that my urine results are all negative. No Chlamydia, NO Gonorrhea. He also said that is a very good sign that there was no HIV present. What are your thoughts on this?

He did manage to get me a re feral to speak to someone and I have already called. He also called too and advised them if they can get me ASAP it would be a good idea. They may be able to see me as early as next week.

Title: Re: Insertive Anal Exposure ( Dipping ) PEP ???
Post by: Bucko on July 05, 2007, 03:01:38 pm
I just came back from the Hassle Free Clinic and here is what happened.

My regular councilor was not there so I meet with another councilor who I have also dealt with in the past.
He would not give me any rapid test until the 13 week point, but would do the P24 test on me. I refused that test for fear of what I have read. He did tell me that even if my penis went fully into the other guys ass but I pulled out right away that would not cause enough abrasions on the penis for an entry point for HIV. I asked about the Urethra and he explained that there would need to be blood present and there was still not enough time. He was very clear on he thought I really did not even need to test.

Just curious to hear your thoughts on this ?

the good news is that my urine results are all negative. No Chlamydia, NO Gonorrhea. He also said that is a very good sign that there was no HIV present. What are your thoughts on this?


Last-

We have been confident from the beginning that you were not at a substantial risk for HIV infection based on what you described. I'm glad that a face-to-face helped more than the sterling advice of this board in as much as you no longer sound panic-overloaded.

If you actually read what we've posted, the info presented by the counselor was initially presented to you by us, right here.

Glad you got the grip...now hold on.

Brent
(Who prefers calm)
Title: Re: Insertive Anal Exposure ( Dipping ) PEP ???
Post by: RapidRod on July 05, 2007, 03:03:25 pm
You don't need to have abrasions on your penis to contract HIV.
Title: Re: Insertive Anal Exposure ( Dipping ) PEP ???
Post by: Lasttime on July 05, 2007, 03:49:22 pm
Is Rapidrod saying that this was a rsk for HIV? or HIV can pass through the hole at the end of the penis?

When I asked the councilor about HIV passing through the hole at the end of my penis, he said we would need to be fucking the guys ass, not just putting your penis in and pulling it right out.

Please clarify this for me.

P.S. I just want to say thank you to all of you. You have honestly touched my heart...



Title: Re: Insertive Anal Exposure ( Dipping ) PEP ???
Post by: RapidRod on July 05, 2007, 04:18:50 pm
How in the world did you think HIV got transmitted?
Title: Re: Insertive Anal Exposure ( Dipping ) PEP ???
Post by: Lasttime on July 05, 2007, 04:27:16 pm
Rapidrod, please you are not being clear. You are asking my questions that i am not sure about. I am a C.A. and do not ask my cleints questions about how the tax system works.

I am simply trying to figure out if I put myself at risk for HIV or not.
I was starting to feel better for now and more calm, but I am now back in panic freakout mode

You have a ton of posts here and must know what you are talking about so please clearify this for me.
Title: Re: Insertive Anal Exposure ( Dipping ) PEP ???
Post by: Matty the Damned on July 05, 2007, 04:36:49 pm
Is Rapidrod saying that this was a rsk for HIV? or HIV can pass through the hole at the end of the penis?

When I asked the councilor about HIV passing through the hole at the end of my penis, he said we would need to be fucking the guys ass, not just putting your penis in and pulling it right out.

Please clarify this for me.

P.S. I just want to say thank you to all of you. You have honestly touched my heart...


This brief incident doesn't present a risk for HIV infection. HIV is not transmitted through "abrasions" on the surface of the penis. Rather the virus has to make it's way through the eye of your donger and into the urethra (the tube that you pee and cum through) where it can find the specific cells it needs to infect you.

As we've told you previously the problem with unprotected dipping is not that you can catch HIV from it, but that it often leads to unprotected fucking and that is a risk for HIV transmission.

I'm pleased to hear that your other test results came back negative.

MtD
Title: Re: Insertive Anal Exposure ( Dipping ) PEP ???
Post by: Lasttime on July 05, 2007, 04:44:30 pm
thank you for making this clear to me Matty.

One more question.

When you talk about dipping is that when someone inserts there penis all the way in someones ass once and then pulls it out right away ? 
Title: Re: Insertive Anal Exposure ( Dipping ) PEP ???
Post by: Matty the Damned on July 05, 2007, 04:52:44 pm
Well it's all a matter of degree, isn't it? Rather than trying to define "dipping" lets just look at how likely it is that could have been transmitted.

I wouldn't consider just sliding in and out of someones butt without a rubber once to constitute a risk for HIV transmission. HIV is a fragile virus that is difficult to transmit. The bottom is at much greater risk from a positive top than a top being at risk from a positive bottom.

And that's not to suggest that anyone in this encounter was positive.

If having an HIV antibody test at 13 weeks from the date of this episode will help you deal with the situation, then go for it. In fact an HIV antibody test is a standard part of a full STD screen anyway.

The important thing here is not how long or often your naked tool was up the poop-chute of this other fellow, but that you use condoms when you have anal or vaginal sex with anyone.

I hope this helps clarify your situation.

MtD
Title: Re: Insertive Anal Exposure ( Dipping ) PEP ???
Post by: Lasttime on July 05, 2007, 05:20:31 pm
I really do feel better, at least for now. I am sure I will back after the weekend for more help!
In the mean time I am off on a camping trip with some friends so this will help me take my mind off things.

It really seems that everyone that I have turned to for help has told me the samething. that there was NO REAL RISK HERE. I think I am starting to believe that. I have talk to some good peoplethat know there stuff
San Francisco City Clinic, Hassle Free Clinic, And all you guys and gals here.

the councilor today made me think about why I am in a much more frantic state of shock this week and we figured it out.

My sex life at home is not good to say the least, plus my wife is pregnant. Monday night she wanted to have sex. it has been almost 4 months since we have had sex. I tried to say no no I was tired and then she pulled the whole I must be having an affair on her. So we had sex. After that I started to think that I just infected my wife and unborn child with HIV. It is a huge guilty burden to carry, one I do not wish on anyone.

So if I am asking a lot of questions and seem to be a little crazy about all of this please understand that I just do not want to hurt my family....

Title: Re: Insertive Anal Exposure ( Dipping ) PEP ???
Post by: Matty the Damned on July 05, 2007, 05:24:59 pm
Last,

I'm glad we've been able to help you better understand how HIV is and is not transmitted and what you can do to protect yourself from infection. That's what we do here.

I understand that you're experiencing considerable guilt and distress about your sexual activities and how it impacts on your life as a whole. Unfortunately we're not able to assist you resolve that guilt and distress, it's important that you keep working with your counselor to deal with those issues.

Kind regards,

MtD
Title: Re: Insertive Anal Exposure ( Dipping ) PEP ???
Post by: Andy Velez on July 05, 2007, 06:55:01 pm
Last, like the others, at the end of the day I expect you to test negative.

Going camping is a good idead. Do more things that keep you productively busy and you will be amazed at how quickly the waiting time will pass.

As I read over all of your comments what becomes clearer is that you are loaded with guilt and shame about this incident. You can't undo that particular moment in your personal history. So see it clearly,you had this moment with another guy,  take a breath and let it go. It's no sign of your higher character or how much youl ove your wife and unborn child that you are wallowing in an orgy of self-torture. Quite the contrary. The most loving thing you can do for all concerned is to simply get on with your life.

I don't know if anyone has said anything to you about this, but often awaiting the birth of a first child is not all delight and roses. It stirs up a lot of feelings of all sorts. Perhaps that has played some part in your recent incident and the emotional tsunami afterwards.

What I do know is that I expect you to come out of this ok as far as HIV is concerned.

 

Title: Re: Insertive Anal Exposure ( Dipping ) PEP ???
Post by: Lasttime on July 17, 2007, 02:21:44 pm
Hi All

I have been keeping busy and enjoyed the weekend camping trip with my friends. I did think a little bit about the risk and possibility of being positive. But it has been a lot less then usual.

The last couple of days have been really hard to manage and i can not seem to find any help other then here.
I have tried ACT and did talk to someone for about an hour but he would not meet me and told me to see my doctor and get a re-feral to see someone on a regular basis. So I did. But I will not be seeing the Physiologist until mid September.

I can not help but think about what I have done and the possibility that I could have passed this on to my wife who is pregnant, the thought just kills me inside and I can not handle it at all. the last couple of day I have been taking gravol to sleep and feel like complete basketcase when I wake up.

I guess I am really just looking for some reassurance about my situation from you folks, I know i must be frustrating you and I do apologize. I just have no one to talk to and no where to turn.

Title: Re: Insertive Anal Exposure ( Dipping ) PEP ???
Post by: RapidRod on July 17, 2007, 02:33:05 pm
Reread all the replies that have been given you.
Title: Re: Insertive Anal Exposure ( Dipping ) PEP ???
Post by: Lasttime on July 19, 2007, 10:03:57 am
Lastnight my wife who is 6 months pregnant was feeling faint and light headed. This has been going on for about 1 month now. She is feeling like this a couple of times per week.

We are using a midwife for this delivery and my wife asked the midwife about this. The midwife did some tests on my wife and told her that her iron was low and she needs to eat more red meat or foods with iron.

Since I am scared to death about my risk and passing this to my wife and unborn child, I freakout and worry everytime she says she is not feeling well.

After my risk at the bathhouse my wife and I have had unprotected intercourse 2 times with no ejaculation.

My questions are:

1) are these symptoms of a pregnant woman seroconversion?
2) Knock on wood, but if we end up being positive does that mean the unborn baby gets HIV during birth?

Thanks
Title: Re: Insertive Anal Exposure ( Dipping ) PEP ???
Post by: Ann on July 19, 2007, 04:17:23 pm
Last,

Iron deficiency is a common problem in pregnancy. It has nothing to do with hiv.

Ann
Title: Re: Insertive Anal Exposure ( Dipping ) PEP ???
Post by: Lasttime on July 23, 2007, 09:58:16 am
I am all freaked out again.

This is consumming my life and i am really starting to loose controll over work, home, social. All I can think about is my family and what I have done to them and possible having to tell me wife that I have HIV. Just the thought of leaving my house and not being able to see me daughter and wife breaks me down everytime I think about it. My weekend are now hell for the fact the I can not read your posts and replies on this website.
Sad to say but I look forward to coming to work so I can roam free on the internet and read about all the symptoms I have.

I have read so much and am so confused that I do not know who to trust and believe. I try to tell myself that everything is OK and trust the consoles at the hassle free clinic, as well as the advice I have had from this site, but I can not help myself to feeling my neck and nodes every few minutes. It seems that if you can feel your nodes that is bad. if you can feel them it mean that you are fighting off an infection. But i fell fine, i have no other symptoms other them swollen nodes in my neck.

I also feel that some of the info I have been given from this site had contradicted what you have told others.

there have been a few posts where people have said they had brief unprotected insertave anal sex and you tell them it is a low risk.

What is the difference with my situation, I dipped my unprotected penis in too another guys ass once and then pulled it out. how does this not qualify as unprotected anal sex?

why is it i did not put my self at risk according to your advice here. I just fail to understand the whole science of this???



Title: Re: Insertive Anal Exposure ( Dipping ) PEP ???
Post by: Ann on July 23, 2007, 10:11:13 am
Last,

The advice we've given you is based on what you yourself reported in your first post here. It is highly unlikely that you achieved penetration, through a glory-hole, without knowing. Simply feeling "moist" is not the equivalent of penetrating an anus. You would have known, without doubt, if you penetrated an anus.

We have told you no risk because we don't think you penetrated an anus.

If you cannot put this behind you, test, collect your negative result and move on. Just make sure you use condoms when you do actually penetrate an anus or vagina that doesn't belong to your wife and you'll be fine.

Ann
Title: Re: Insertive Anal Exposure ( Dipping ) PEP ???
Post by: Lasttime on July 23, 2007, 01:02:48 pm

What if I penetrated him once and then pulled out as soon as I realised. what if it was as fast as in and out. one push in and one pull out?

Title: Re: Insertive Anal Exposure ( Dipping ) PEP ???
Post by: RapidRod on July 23, 2007, 01:10:44 pm
We don't do the "What ifs" on this forum.
Title: Re: Insertive Anal Exposure ( Dipping ) PEP ???
Post by: Lasttime on July 23, 2007, 01:32:11 pm
it is not a " what if " i dont know either way. so i can only assume the worst. and notice that my lymphnode are swollen in my neck
Title: Re: Insertive Anal Exposure ( Dipping ) PEP ???
Post by: Lasttime on July 24, 2007, 09:27:49 am
I called the hassle free clinic and talked to my counselor last night, He has agreed to do a rapid HIV test for me today.

It has been almost seven weeks since my incident on June 10 and I am curious to know how accurate the tests at 7 weeks are for a rapid HIV test.

Also, a few days ago on Saturday my throat started to hurt me but not the usual sore throat more of a dull trobbing pain right in the middle where you swallow. I checked my tempature a few time and it was 96.3. and is it normal to have lymphnodes that you can feel under your ear lobes i have them on both sides.

Title: Re: Insertive Anal Exposure ( Dipping ) PEP ???
Post by: Ann on July 24, 2007, 09:52:09 am
Last,

Considering the fact that the vast majority of people who have actually been infected will seroconvert and test positive by six weeks and also the fact that you didn't really have a risk, when you get your negative result today, consider it conclusive.

Ann
Title: Re: Insertive Anal Exposure ( Dipping ) PEP ???
Post by: Lasttime on July 24, 2007, 10:08:18 am
Ann,

I hope you are right... I will let you know my results as soon as I get back to my office.
thanks for your support......

Title: Re: Insertive Anal Exposure ( Dipping ) PEP ???
Post by: Lasttime on July 24, 2007, 02:35:17 pm
I just returned from the hassle free clinic where they gave me a HIV rapid test.

It was NEGATIVE.... it has only been seven weeks, but the counselor did not think i need to retest.

Can you please confirm this???

thanks 

Title: Re: Insertive Anal Exposure ( Dipping ) PEP ???
Post by: englishgirl on July 24, 2007, 03:04:22 pm
It was NEGATIVE.... it has only been seven weeks, but the counselor did not think i need to retest.
the counselor is correct, you do not need to test
as ann and others have told you
Considering the fact that the vast majority of people who have actually been infected will seroconvert and test positive by six weeks and also the fact that you didn't really have a risk, when you get your negative result today, consider it conclusive.

i suspect that guilt is more an issue than hiv, and this is what you need to address. you do not need to worry any more about hiv from this incident. you did not need to worry in the first place.

if you are having a problem with accepting that you are neg / getting over the guilt you seem to feel about having sexual contact outside of your marriage maybe you should seek counselling...
Title: Re: Insertive Anal Exposure ( Dipping ) PEP ???
Post by: Lasttime on July 25, 2007, 12:48:44 pm

The mind is a powerful weapon of self mass destruction.

Which is the road I am heading down now, cuase I can not get my fucking mind of this HIV crap.

So itested negative yesterday at 7weeks, today I feel like garbage, my throat is hurting, i feel tired and rundown, my head is pounding and i have  this very wierd tingling in my lower right arm and hand. Is it to long
to see any symptoms ? 

is it possible that i could be devoloping antibodies but did not have enough to test positive yesterday?

i am throwing my life away here and i need to get control back before i loose everything...

HELP!!!

Title: Re: Insertive Anal Exposure ( Dipping ) PEP ???
Post by: RapidRod on July 25, 2007, 01:07:44 pm
The help you need can not be found on the internet. Seek help with a mental health specialist.
Title: Re: Insertive Anal Exposure ( Dipping ) PEP ???
Post by: Lasttime on July 25, 2007, 02:04:56 pm
Rapid,

thanks for your response. but as usual you have not answered my question.
I am not asking your opinion on if i should seek mental help, that i am doing on my own

I am simple asking HIV related questions... this is an HIV forum not a mental help forum.. Correct ?
Title: Re: Insertive Anal Exposure ( Dipping ) PEP ???
Post by: Ann on July 25, 2007, 02:59:46 pm
Last,

Considering the fact that the vast majority of people who have actually been infected will seroconvert and test positive by six weeks and also the fact that you didn't really have a risk, when you get your negative result today, consider it conclusive.

Ann


We've already answered your questions and the answers are not going to change.

No, this is NOT a mental health forum, which is why we are telling you to seek help for your anxiety elsewhere. We can do no more for you here.

You ARE hiv negative.

Ann
Title: Re: Insertive Anal Exposure ( Dipping ) PEP ???
Post by: Lasttime on October 19, 2007, 05:03:50 pm
Rather then start a new topic i thought I would start on this one so anyone who reads this may remember me from a few months ago...

Wife and I had a baby boy on Sunday that we were blessed with...
But I am back here questioning my own health again.

All the STD tests have come back negative and I have repeated them a few times, except for HIV. The HIV test I went for was only at 6-7 weeks and not at the 12 week window period. My baby boy had his first needle at home on Tuesday and is now bruising. Should I be concerned about HIV and get retested.

Title: Re: Insertive Anal Exposure ( Dipping ) PEP ???
Post by: Ann on October 20, 2007, 07:57:12 am
Last,

It's up to you. We don't beleive you had any sort of risk. If you need that conclusive negative result to put this behind you, then go do it and get it over with.

Ann