all new to this though very aware

[tower1974]

im in ling term realtionship with a man of my life(man here too). in ugly way i found out that he is positive 2 days ago  after 1.5 years living togerhter...(we were never tested). i got my self tested 2 days ago and i am negative...We have not had any "high risk" sexual contact for more than a year...though few weeks ago we had  unpr oral sex....which everyone say very low risk icluding mu councel ...Upset cause i did not find this from him...and not sure what to do next...

Regards to all

[fallbabe]

Hello Tower1974
I just wanted to tell you that you are not alone.  I found out in May 2008 that the "man of my life" is positive.  At that time we had been living together for almost exactly 2.5 years.  Neither of us had a clue.  I, like you had not had not had high risk sex the 6 months before his diagnosis and haven't had sex since (this is our hurdle to cross). I  tested right away and was negative.  I have since tested twice more and am still negative.  My best advice is to continue to love and support him.  As for yourself, I know 1st hand the thoughts that must be going thru your head.  Find comfort in your closest friends and and in each other. You guys can be the strength that one another need.  My boyfriend is such an inspiration to me and I believe he would have never knowingly put me in an unhealthy situation.  I have read these forums for months now and I feel like there is really some great information and great support here.  I hope you also find the comfort I have found from it.
Best of luck to you.

[Andy Velez]

Welcome, Tower. Well it's understandable that your world has been rocked by this turn of events. It's good that you're getting tested. Do it at 13 weeks after the last unprotected sex just to confirm that earlier result.

If you want to maintain intimacy -- sexual and otherwise with your bf, then you guys need to be talking with each other. Without "dumping," stay real about where you are at and how you are feeling. This is a challenging situation to deal with, but you need to know that many thousands of sero-discordant couples, (both gay and straight), are sharing good lives together including sexually. It does take some work but hopefully the good in your relationship is good enough to make you both put out the effort.

Of course if you are having anal intercourse, whoever is the insertive partner always needs to wear a condom. No exceptions.
 
Meanwhile, you are welcome here to talk about whatever is on your mind and to ask questions. 

Cheers.