POZ Community Forums
Meds, Mind, Body & Benefits => Mental Health & HIV => Topic started by: TheRoof on December 20, 2011, 12:40:00 pm
-
To sum up my 'decent sized' problem.. I have performance anxiety. I've had an issue with this since I was 18. I've been with more than a few men, and all the time the sex wasn't great at all. - Which I guess is the problem. They say I am an amazing kisser, but I think too much. I simply THINK too much.
My problem is I tried everything, breathing techniques. meditating, drinking some alcohol. Nothing works. I have been seeing a therapist about this for at least a year. It hasn't gotten any better.
Now I am 21 years old, as a male. I see sexual activity as an amazing, fun activity. I am tall, with a lean body. I try to do a lot of running and weight lifting.
Maybe I have not found that 1 person yet to enjoy it with.
I guess the reason is also I only prefer men at least 38 and older. I do not get off with guys my age At All. It'd be nice to find a man who I can enjoy sex with casually. It has been since March since I have had sex.
I don't know if this is appropriate to ask, but is there a "medication" or a certain "drug" that can help me relax and sustain an erection? (PM's are welcome. I am open to a lot of things...)
I don't have problems with erections at all when I am by myself.
My problem is anxiety and simply too much brain activity. I wish I could afford viagra, but as a college student I simply can't afford to buy it.
Has anyone had similar problems such as this?
-
I guess the reason is also I only prefer men at least 38 and older. I do not get off with guys my age At All.
I'm confused. Your posts from just a couple years ago were all complaining about guys this age hitting on you and how you disliked them for doing that.
-
Sorry that I can't help. Even as an old man, I've never experienced this condition. My mast can fly full staff all day long. 8)
When I was your age, my manhood had a mind of its own. Imagine this, a lot of white zin does wonders.
Wolfie
-
I'm confused. Your posts from just a couple years ago were all complaining about guys this age hitting on you and how you disliked them for doing that.
It still is like that. I've been approached by guys before. But I am very... bad at communicating with first impression when it comes to flirting. My roommate is gay and takes me out to gay bars to talk to people. I become a nervous wreck. It's quite embarrassing for me. Funny thing is; I LOVE BEING around people. I love communicating. I am great at communicating with teachers, students and business professionals.
It's the feeling of meeting a new guy on a FRIENDSHIP level that makes me nervous. It's not the other persons intentions. It's just I feel incredibly uncomfortable.
I become "rigor' in front of guys and that pushes them away, and the sad thing is I WANT TO meet a guy. (Even for "physical benefits) My gay roommate says I need to "break out of my shell." When I try to keep my anxiety to its minimal. I just become "quiet".
This is where it gets a little "controversial" (I don't know what the rules are about drugs, so I will avoid saying the actual name. But you know what it is)
There was 2-3 times where my friend offered me a substance. It was white.
After about 10 minutes I was conversing with all many cool guys. My confidence was HUGE. I felt amazing, like I was at the top of the world.
All my anxiety was completely. Gone. It was like that for the rest of the night.
That was around March though. I haven't done that since.
My psychiatrist says that it's Social Anxiety & PTSD, but I've been in treatment with him for over a year. (Only that substance had helped me. Nothing he prescribed has helped me) But I will not branch into that.
In your opinion, what do you think this means?
edit. btw Ms. Phillicia... . I love your avatar picture. It's a hot pic. For some reason I always thought you were a woman.
But when I saw your avatar, it put a smile on my face. :) lol
-
Sounds like me growing up...(yep...even liked them older but mine was 40 and up)...
Only recently...last year...have I realized it was from depression. At least part of it was. The more I couldn't connect the more of a funk I'd get into. Once I got to know someone I was fine. But getting to that point was torture.
I also have General Anxiety Syndrome, PTSD (my first partner dying suddenly), and the depression. When they all coincided together...my life was hell.
I don't know if you're on anything for that. I'm on Bupropion 350mg and Lexapro 20mg every day. Not only can I now talk to guys, I'll talk to just about anyone, in an elevator, on the subway, on the sidewalk...it just seems to be so easy now. Personally I'd stay away from illegal drugs...even if they help you. That's self-medicating. Better to find a legal drug (or drugs) that will do the trick.
Don't suppose you like them hairy too. Older men...mmmmm...still like 'em but now I'm one of them.
-
This is where it gets a little "controversial" (I don't know what the rules are about drugs, so I will avoid saying the actual name. But you know what it is)
There was 2-3 times where my friend offered me a substance. It was white.
After about 10 minutes I was conversing with all many cool guys. My confidence was HUGE. I felt amazing, like I was at the top of the world.
Sure you can say it. Cocaine, Cocaine, Cocaine ;D Yes, it makes you feel like superman and any and all anxieties melt away and for a moment in time you are the ruler of the universe. But be careful because after a few bumps its possible you may you may loose the ability to sustain an erection (and then you are back to square one with your problem :P)
You state that nothing the doc has prescribed has helped you but cocaine does. I totally understand that, (I hate to sound like a parent) but please be aware that cocaine can be highly addictive, the key is moderation, Trust me, I've been there.
IMHO, I think you need to continue with therapy and maybe even switch docs since the current one doesnt seem to be making any headway. I think your Anxiety is crippling you socially and sexually but you can overcome this with correct therapy.
edit. btw Ms. Phillicia... . I love your avatar picture. It's a hot pic. For some reason I always thought you were a woman.
ROFLMAO, thanks for that i needed a good laugh ;)
-Will (who is 43 and available)