he is taking antiretroviral,she's not

[NHLA]

Hello good people,my friend is desperate for a baby..her boyfriend is on treatment,she is not!! How can they go bout making that happen?? Have no idea how to advice her! Thnx

[BT65]

I would advise they talk to their doctor.  There may be someone who can answer your question better than I (sorry).

[Ann]

NHLA, there are quite a few poz/neg couples having negative children now days. There's one woman in the Someone I Care About forum who recently dropped in to say she's pregnant with twins. She's neg, her partner is poz. Click here to read about her experience. Maybe you could drop her a PM.

Ann

[Donna]

Hi NHLA,

Doctors always a good place to start but don't let your friend get despondent if the doctor is not approving. My doc advised one of her patients, who was desperate to have a child but was on ARVs, not to and the end result was this patient went off ARVs and disappeared from health care. I was cross with my doctor and told her so. She felt this patient should have focused on her own health and not burdened herself or her family with a child that she may not raise to adulthood (we're in a 3rd world health system so that outcome is possible). I said it wasn't her decision - she should have provided information that made her patient able to make a good decision for her health and well being. So don't give up. It's possible and it's wonderful. donna

[equaltime]

Hello good people,my friend is desperate for a baby..her boyfriend is on treatment,she is not!! How can they go bout making that happen?? Have no idea how to advice her! Thnx

If they are she is desperate they shouldn't be pursuing anything much less another human being who is defenseless and will end up a victim of wreckless behavior

[BT65]

If they are she is desperate they shouldn't be pursuing anything much less another human being who is defenseless and will end up a victim of wreckless behavior

This is down-right mean hearted, and totally inappropriate.

[David Evans]

EqualTime,

You're entitled to your opinion, and even to express it, but I would suggest that you find a less inflammatory and less judgmental way to so. I'd also suggest that you do some more reading on the subject of child birth for people with HIV. Things have advanced dramatically in the last 30 years, even in parts of the world with more limited access to antiretroviral therapy. What was once a situation that often had tragic consequences for both mother and child, is no longer so. I know plenty of HIV-positive women (and HIV-negative women with positive male partners) who have decided to have children in the last 10 or 12 years. In every case the baby was born HIV-negative, the HIV-negative adult partner stayed negative, and the parents and children are quite happy, healthy and well adjusted.

David
Moderator

[David Evans]

Actually, Equaltime, I missed reading your earlier posts and didn't realize that you were male, and not female. Only women are allowed to post in this forum. There are other forums, such as Long Term Survivors, and Am I Infected, that are also restricted. Please read the introductory posts in each forum to understand the rules involved.

[Sweet_C]

So your friend is poz, right?  I can tell you from experience she starts treatment and reaches an undetectable viral load *before* she gets pregnant, her prenatal care will be a whole lot simpler.  Both me and my husband were undetectable before we started trying to conceive.  The only difference between my prenatal care and that of an HIV negative woman is that my OB asks whether I'm still undetectable at every single appointment.  The only difference at delivery is that she would have an IV of AZT, and the baby will get AZT as well for 4-6 weeks. 

Her doctor should be able to advise her on the combos that are safest for both mom and baby during pregnancy.  I was on one combo and switched when I started trying for a baby.  I got used to the new combo before pregnancy and have been taking it ever since.  When I'm done having babies I'll probably switch back to my old combo.