POZ Community Forums
Main Forums => Someone I Care About Has HIV => Topic started by: Tashana on April 01, 2007, 11:00:01 am
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My husband is poz for six years or so, and we know that since October. Before that we had sex normally (have two kids). I was tested twice, and get negative results, and I`m about to get one more test. We have normal physical contact, without sex, and kids hug and kiss with him as usually. Is there any possibilities to get infection in a normal life? Doct`s say no, but, what is your experience? Should I be worried?
Tashana
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Hi Tashana,
No, HIV is transmitted in very specific ways, mainly either unprotected vaginal or anal intercourse. You don't have to be worried about transmission occuring through things like hugging, kissing and other everyday life circumstances.
Read the lesson on transmission on this site. There's a link to it in the Welcome thread which opens this section. You'll get all of the basics there.
Many thousands of sero-discordant couples are having good lives together in every way including sexually. It just means always using a condom for intercourse to protect the sero-negative partner.
I'm going to move this thread over to the HIV section because I think you will get some good support there, including from other marrieds who are in a similar situation.
Please feel free to ask questions and to discuss anything that's on your mind.
I'm glad you found your way to this site.
PS OK, I see now that you have already been visiting this section. I'll just let this thread stand as is.
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Thank you Andy,
A lot of people is very much afraid od HIV, which is, I should say, normally. That is the reason that everybody (doctors who are we it touch with) told us not to tell anybody, "not even a brother". But, living with someone who is poz just MAKE you to understand that it is not as easy to get a virus as we think. Thanks again, I'm worried just for the kids, but I have to admit, I'm very glad I did not get a virus...
Tashana
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Your concern about your kids is of course understandable. But I just want to repeat that in the course of ordinary live together, they are not at risk simply because your husband is HIV+.
This is all still very new for you. Gradually you're going to learn more and while HIV is important, it is by no means all that your lives together will be about.
Cheers,
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I have been + since '93. My husband and I were married in '94. We use condoms with all sexual intercourse, and he is negative.
It is safe for your husband to hug, kiss, hold hands, use the same plates & cups, bathrooms...etc. that you and your children use. There is no risk of transmission with these activities.
The only risks of transmission would be with unprotected vaginal or anal intercourse, and sharing IV drug needles.
Christine
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Thanks Christine,
My very first thought when we've got to live with HIV is that we already lived for five, or six years, and that, maybe, we've got younger kid when he was almost a whole year poz... So, I was a bit relaxed since we already lived with it...
Tashana
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Tashana, that's a good way to look at it. You had already made it through the big early hurdle of having HIV in your lives without even realizing it.
Cheers,
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Thanks Andy, it means me a lot. A little education, more talks and a lot of good wishes for who do we love, should be enough for everything in our life, including this...
Tashana
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At the end of the day, it is FEAR that we must due with !!
My BF intelligence did not permit him to go beyond that , i thought that with him speaking five languages and all the books he read could save the day........................
.......................he left when i disclose to him !!
Does your love permit you to look and go beyond FEAR ??
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Dear,
Don't forget an important thing. I have two kids with my loving, dear and positive husband!!!! Sorry for telling this, but after what I have found six month ago, I'm not sure that I would stay with him if there is no kids. You and your BF probably had a nice relationship before you have told him. But, except love, which is the state of our body chemistry, there is no other things betwine you two. He has opportunities. Fear is.... stronger feeling than love. We love somebody because we do feel good with him. Fear? Fear protect us to stay alive....
So, what I want to tell you, get your nose up!!! Look at the bright side of life!!! Your ex-BF is not the only person who you can love and live with!!!!!
You will find somebody who will understand you. And love you. And maybe not speak five languages, but, who cares about it!!! Now, when this was happend, we all find out WHAT is the most important thing in our life. To stay alive. To be nice to each other. To give, and to get a smile. You must be strong. Don't be angry with ex-BF. Don't be disappointed. I'm sure that, somewhere in his heart he still feels love for you. I just hope, that he will not find a true, some day, in a hard way...being +.....
Kisses,
Tashana
P.S. Don't forget to write when you foll in love again!!! ;)))
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Me again,
Must tell you something more. I do love my man. I do have kids with him. We did have a lot of very bad days before. Writting to you an hour before, I said I would probably leave him if there is no kids. But...
I wouldn't. That's the true. He is my friend. He knows me completely. He can make me mad and totally crease with some words, but... who is perfect. Me? No, you can be sure I'm far away of that... I'm just AWARE of that. And I'm not afraid to say this. And not afraid to start again, and again, and again, all over again, whatever is meter... Only if I can see the reason to stay, I stay. And, with kids, or without kids, I see the reason to stay wit my hubby. There is also something. After 16 years we have spend together, I don't have to sleep with him to love him. I just need him near by. This is all.
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Must tell you something more. I do love my man.
NOW you are talking, wondering when you will be coming to this !!
Oh no no , not fear , whatever i fear , came true !!
'Fear protect us to stay alive' ; maybe , but , i prefer LOVE AND HOPE
For in love's care , we grow and in HOPE bright light we blossom !!
PS : my mention of the five languages is to place where his IQ is , it is by no means meant to be condescending !! i am not angry or disappointed with him, just very very sad. You know dear, what my dilemma is ?? well, it is the day when he decided to come back into my life !! will i be strong enough to take him back !! GOD help me to love again.
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Well, you have made me :-[ .
But, as I've said before, nobody's perfect. Not even me ;) .
Good luck to you, I hope I'll talk five language one day ;) . Since than, please, stay close and reply!!! :)