Author Topic: LTNPs and AIDS Denialism (Read 7369 times)

shadowfluid · « **on:** March 18, 2008, 07:11:04 pm »

A friend of mine last year admitted to me he had HIV and was poz for over 10 years. Never had any symptoms and said he "forgets" he's poz all the time and not on meds.
I was excited when he told me was poz as I was just diagnosed and didn't know anyone close to me who was poz too.
He then started to go on this aids denialist tirade and I just had stop him and ask, "So you're telling me...if your numbers went down you WOULDN'T go on meds?"

He didn't really answer...I just still trip out on him...maybe he denies HIV is real because he's never had any symptoms. I just can't get over that tirade and links he sent me that day. Creepy.

thunter34 · « **Reply #1 on:** March 18, 2008, 07:26:38 pm »

HIV can make it real easy to forget until you wake up in hospital bed, which is a likely possibility for your friend here. If he's that much into denial / ignoring, he probably has no clue what his numbers are...and won't know til his number's up.

shadowfluid · « **Reply #2 on:** March 18, 2008, 07:34:21 pm »

Quote from: thunter34 on March 18, 2008, 07:26:38 pm

HIV can make it real easy to forget until you wake up in hospital bed, which is a likely possibility for your friend here. If he's that much into denial / ignoring, he probably has no clue what his numbers are...and won't know til his number's up.

It's weird cuz it think he does knows his numbers cuz he linked me to some bullshiz on lab tests and their validity. I guess I left that part out. I wonder if he even discloses. I still need to hit that. He's hot!

RapidRod · « **Reply #3 on:** March 18, 2008, 07:35:38 pm »

I went 21 years with great numbers and not on medication but I can't ever say that I forgot that I had HIV. It's not the same as when you have to take meds every day and it's thrown in your face, day in day out. I'll grant him that.

thunter34 · « **Reply #4 on:** March 18, 2008, 07:37:29 pm »

Quote from: shadowfluid on March 18, 2008, 07:34:21 pm

I wonder if he even discloses. I still need to hit that. He's hot!

Hrmmmm.....see how you are!

AlanBama · « **Reply #5 on:** March 18, 2008, 08:02:27 pm »

There have been a lot of people who were AIDS denialists. HIV has a way of kicking you in the ass, with a BIG OLD pair of boots on......

Sometimes, even the big 'kick' doesn't convince them. I don't waste a whole lot of time thinking about them and their issues (or non-issues). If I'm anything, I'm a realist. And HIV is, unfortunately, very real.

Alan

Jeff G · « **Reply #6 on:** March 18, 2008, 10:34:32 pm »

I never heard the term Aids denialest until reading post and threads in this forum. After thinking about it I realized that's was me years ago. After a couple of years POZ. and never getting sick I went into a Denialist state. I had convinced myself that I would never get sick or have to go on meds.

I had a lover that was negative, we were together 6 or 7 years and he liked to party as much as I did.
Somehow I promised him I wouldn't ever take meds or give up my world tour of of drugs and booze.
He was with me at my doctors office the day I was told my cd4 count was low, I had Kaposi sarcoma and needed chemotherapy. I had damaged my liver but it would probably recover if I laid off the bad stuff.
Before I could speak He blurted I shouldn't do it , don't you remember what you promised... We asked him to leave. On the way home he got really quite after I told him I wanted to live and I was going to do as my Doctor advised. After that day he was rarely home.

About a month of this I found out he had been cheating on me for over a year, mostly with our best friend. He finally told me the truth, that he was only staying with me to make me happy because I loved him so much. He wasn't angry just matter of fact when he said that he was just waiting for me to die so he could go on with his life I moved out the next week.... That's the day my denial ended.

This thread brought up memory's . Some hurtfull some empowering. Hope this wasn't a hijack...Jeff

Lis · « **Reply #7 on:** March 18, 2008, 11:34:53 pm »

Hi Mike,
I found out I was poz in 1986... I put my head in the sand and did nothing.. (well I did leave my first husband, and my child and I made a new life)

it wasn't until 2004 (i think) that I ended up in hospital with PCP...

we all work in differant ways with this crap.. your way is your way, others might find comfort in forgetting...

respect,

lisbeth

OzPaul · « **Reply #8 on:** March 19, 2008, 12:19:42 am »

Hey Mike,

I tested poz in 1985.

I've been blessed with good health without medications throughout. Having said that, not a day goes by that I don't count my blessings. Being an LTNP does not mean that I will always be one. So, each healthy day is a gift. With this gift, I participate in several global LTNP research studies. It's something that I can give, that for me is a tangible expression of how grateful I am for each new healthy day.

in Peace
Paul

Ann · « **Reply #9 on:** March 19, 2008, 08:01:20 am »

There's a difference between putting one's head in the sand (personal denial) and AIDS Denialism. Aids denialists claim that hiv does not cause aids and a whole lot of other bunkum.

There aren't many aids denialists around anymore because... well, because most of them died (or are dying) of aids! Imagine that!

To remind any new people here, we do not permit hiv denialist links or material to be posted on these forums.

Ann

Iggy · « **Reply #10 on:** March 19, 2008, 08:15:26 am »

There's a difference between putting one's head in the sand (personal denial) and AIDS Denialism.

I agree and have come across the former more often than the latter.

I think what has is a bigger problem is the dual personalities of some with the personal denial issue where one moment they pretend HIV is not anything to worry about and the next moment they are trying to tell others about some herb or supplement that they worship to fight off the virus; too many newbies (both to the virus and treatment) get caught up in this.

Dachshund · « **Reply #11 on:** March 19, 2008, 08:46:55 am »

HIV and HIV alone gets to decide how long you get to live in denial. When it decides to creep up on you, tapping you on the shoulder shouting "remember me", there will be no denying.

David_CA · « **Reply #12 on:** March 19, 2008, 09:18:05 am »

Quote from: Dachshund on March 19, 2008, 08:46:55 am

HIV and HIV alone gets to decide how long you get to live in denial. When it decides to creep up on you, tapping you on the shoulder shouting "remember me", there will be no denying.

Amen to that! In my case, it was a swift kick in the butt and sure got my attention (though I certainly wasn't in denial).

Quote from: Ann on March 19, 2008, 08:01:20 am

There aren't many aids denialists around anymore because... well, because most of them died (or are dying) of aids! Imagine that!

How true!

David

aztecan · « **Reply #13 on:** March 19, 2008, 10:19:35 am »

I'm with Alan, I'm a realist.

Denialists are a waste of time. It is usually like arguing religion, circular arguments going nowhere.

I spent the first seven years after testing positive ignoring that fact. I was lucky to have a friend who kicked me in the ass and got me into treatment before the virus did.

As for those who denied AIDS' existence or that HIV was the virus doing the dirty work, most are dead.

For those who are still around, I don't have time to waste on their foolishness.

HUGS,

Mark

BT65 · « **Reply #14 on:** March 19, 2008, 10:31:12 am »

Back in the early 90's, I had a friend who was on the trip about HIV not causing AIDS etc. until she was diagnosed with toxoplasmosis. Then she changed her tune. Unfortunately, it was too late.

allopathicholistic · « **Reply #15 on:** March 19, 2008, 11:48:56 am »

Quote from: Bettytacy on March 19, 2008, 10:31:12 am

Back in the early 90's, I had a friend who was on the trip about HIV not causing AIDS etc. until she was diagnosed with toxoplasmosis. Then she changed her tune. Unfortunately, it was too late.

Quote from: Ann on March 19, 2008, 08:01:20 am

There's a difference between putting one's head in the sand (personal denial) and AIDS Denialism. Aids denialists claim that hiv does not cause aids and a whole lot of other bunkum.

Betty, that's a sad story. $:-\$ I think the heyday of the denialists was the mid and late 90's. Some head-in-the-sand denialists get tested for HIV regularly because they "just wanna see" if they can test neg year after year sort of like Russian Roulette. Of course they get the bullet eventually. I should know because what I just described was me. Now as for the bunkum-spreading denialists, they often feel they're on a crusade against "AIDS, Inc." and spend lots of energy and time spreading bunkum. I assume some of these loudmouths will sometimes take an HIV test whenever they feel like doing so, which to me indicates an ounce or two of doubt and they're often fanatics of natural health (like mentally unstable extreme nutcases).

Shadow, your friend totally needs to know what his numbers are. $:-\$

shadowfluid · « **Reply #16 on:** March 19, 2008, 01:13:13 pm »

Quote from: Ann on March 19, 2008, 08:01:20 am

There's a difference between putting one's head in the sand (personal denial) and AIDS Denialism. Aids denialists claim that hiv does not cause aids and a whole lot of other bunkum.

There aren't many aids denialists around anymore because... well, because most of them died (or are dying) of aids! Imagine that!

To remind any new people here, we do not permit hiv denialist links or material to be posted on these forums.

Ann

Hi Ann!!
You're right...cuz we talked more and I think we came to the conclusion that he would start meds if "anything happened"...so I guess he is more of the "head in the sand" type. Those links had my head spinning for hours and I almost started to believe all the shiz he was linking me to. I think I joined Aidsmeds soon after...

shadowfluid · « **Reply #17 on:** March 19, 2008, 01:14:18 pm »

Quote from: allopathicholistic on March 19, 2008, 11:48:56 am

Betty, that's a sad story. $:-\$ I think the heyday of the denialists was the mid and late 90's. Some head-in-the-sand denialists get tested for HIV regularly because they "just wanna see" if they can test neg year after year sort of like Russian Roulette. Of course they get the bullet eventually. I should know because what I just described was me. Now as for the bunkum-spreading denialists, they often feel they're on a crusade against "AIDS, Inc." and spend lots of energy and time spreading bunkum. I assume some of these loudmouths will sometimes take an HIV test whenever they feel like doing so, which to me indicates an ounce or two of doubt and they're often fanatics of natural health (like mentally unstable extreme nutcases).

Shadow, your friend totally needs to know what his numbers are. $:-\$

Eh I really don't talk to him anymore... but what can you do?

shadowfluid · « **Reply #18 on:** March 19, 2008, 01:17:49 pm »

Quote from: Bettytacy on March 19, 2008, 10:31:12 am

Back in the early 90's, I had a friend who was on the trip about HIV not causing AIDS etc. until she was diagnosed with toxoplasmosis. Then she changed her tune. Unfortunately, it was too late.

Damn that's sad.

shadowfluid · « **Reply #19 on:** March 19, 2008, 01:21:08 pm »

Quote from: OzPaul on March 19, 2008, 12:19:42 am

Hey Mike,

I tested poz in 1985.

I've been blessed with good health without medications throughout. Having said that, not a day goes by that I don't count my blessings. Being an LTNP does not mean that I will always be one. So, each healthy day is a gift. With this gift, I participate in several global LTNP research studies. It's something that I can give, that for me is a tangible expression of how grateful I am for each new healthy day.

in Peace
Paul

That's great Paul... I need to be more grateful like you. 11 months since diagnosis and i'm not a ray of sunshine yet but reading this made me smile.

shadowfluid · « **Reply #20 on:** March 19, 2008, 01:23:50 pm »

Lis, I'm sorry you went through that...but glad you made it through!

jeff, Wow..."waiting for (you) to die"?? Crazy story...glad you are still around to share that.

modified: cuz I obviously haven't had my coffee yet

Jeff G · « **Reply #21 on:** March 19, 2008, 02:05:29 pm »

I apologise for writing all that stuff ...just got carried away I suppose. its been over 9 years ago and I'm just now getting over it in the past year.

thunter34 · « **Reply #22 on:** March 19, 2008, 02:16:54 pm »

Quote from: jg1962 on March 19, 2008, 02:05:29 pm

I apologise for writing all that stuff ...just got carried away I suppose. its been over 9 years ago and I'm just now getting over it in the past year.

If you say so, but it seemed to fit right in with the topic to me.

I gotta say from reading Mark and Lis' posts, it's quite a different thing to have stuck your head in the sand in the in 80's / early 90's vs. now (in my opinion). When there were no real treatments available, personal denial might have gone a long way toward mental survival. Now, when there are treatments available, sticking one's head in the sand just seems so much more like recklessness & flirting with disaster.

Iggy · « **Reply #23 on:** March 19, 2008, 02:34:22 pm »

jg,

I agree with Thunter that it seemed to fit in with exactly what this thread is talking about. I don't think you owe any apologies - least of not to yourself for feeling what you do.

Jeff G · « **Reply #24 on:** March 19, 2008, 02:48:07 pm »

Thanks guys ..kinda new around here. 25 years of being poz and putting up the brave front and never letting them see you sweat has programmed me into keeping things inside. I came to this forum because I thought with my experience I could help others. I was wrong I have already gotten more from you guys than I will ever be able to say. That's the thing about denial , you can be sick, lonely, and hurting and if you live with it long enough it can kill you.....Thanks

BT65 · « **Reply #25 on:** March 19, 2008, 03:20:06 pm »

Jg, I'm a suck it up and go on person myself, but these forums have proven a wonderful source of support time and again. I'm glad you're with us.

Jeff G · « **Reply #26 on:** March 19, 2008, 03:42:45 pm »

Bettytacy ... thank you so very much. All that you are dealing with and you took the time to say this to me is says volumes about the kind of person you are. You brought a tear to my eye.

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Author Topic: LTNPs and AIDS Denialism (Read 7369 times)