Going Crazy

[foolishboy]

Hi and Thank you for letting me post my problem.
Last september i was out with friends on a lads night out in skegness(uk) and got Really drunk and went home with a lady i met in a bar she was in her forties and said she had not been with anybody in a while,i had bought condoms but as i was so drunk forgot to use them,we had unprotected vaginal sex that lasted approx 30 mins,when i realised what i was doing i stopped.Anyway approx 4 weeks later i came down with Flu i had a bad cough,slight fever,chills and drowsiness and being as im asthmatic it turned into a chest infection,after about 4 days it went away with antibiotics and i thought no more of it,however im also married and maybe 3 weeks later my wife complained of feeling tired with sore throat and chills that lasted 3 days or so however she continues to have headaches to this day,i also noticed red blotches on the head of my penis and she said that she was itchy down below,the doctor prescribed me timodine cream as he thought it was nothing i thought that maybe i had contracted and sti so after searching on the internet WAY too much i kept coming up with HIV symptoms,my wife is still having headaches and now im getting sore throats and struggling to sleep at night from worry and feel constantly on edge,i have never cheated before and never plan to do so again but i am so scared.The Lady in question managed to track me down on facebook because out of coincidence knew one of my good friends from back home,i told her of my problem and she said that i couldnt have caught anything from her as she hadnt been with anybody for a long time and was clean,but my mate thinks otherwise,please help im going crazy.

Also been having diaohrea(mispelt sorry) and a lot of vomiting every now and again but have been drinking a lot due to the stress and that could be down to that,also have not had discharge/open sores etc on penis and that is why the doctor thought it was possibly just a case of thrush,have also noticed a white layer on my tongue and itchy finger tips and toes,could this be down to anxiety from reading too much on the internet?i wish i had not looked now,sorry to sound crazy.
Cheers
Stu

[Andy Velez]

Hi Stu,

What you need to do to put an end to your worrying is to have an HIV test. You had unprotected intercourse which is a risk. Several important factors are in your favor that you will test negative. It was a single and relatively brief incident. More importantly, HIV is significantly more difficult to transmit from female to male.

Nothing you have reported symptomatically is in anyway HIV-specific.

However reassuring it maybe, having the woman in question tell you she knows she is HIV negative doesn't cut it. You need to have your own negative test result to be sure. And by the way, using the term "clean" is offensive. It's an uneducated term because it implies that those living with the virus are "dirty." Get into the habit of using HIV+ and HIV negative instead.

So, get yourself an HIV test. You are well past the waiting time of 13 weeks for a conclusive result. You may even be able to get the Rapid test in your area and get a result back within a very short time on the same day.

If you continue to have troubling symptoms you should discuss them with your doctor.

Good luck with your test. I expect you will test negative.

Cheers.

[foolishboy]

Thank you for the fast reply and I'm sorry I didn't mean to offend anybody. I'm going to get tested next week now as my mind can't take much more but thank you for the reasurance.

[Andy Velez]

I know you didn't intend to offend, Stu.

Good luck with the test. I do expect you to come out of this ok and then you won't have to live with this fear any longer.

Cheers.

[foolishboy]

Going for my teat tomorrow I dell a lot better in myself since your reply so maybe google wasn't such a good idea in the first place but it still worries me about my wifes headaches niether of us have rashes etc but since looking up online my finger tips and toes feel on fire my Palma and soles itch do youvthink this us just anxiety sorry to bother you again
cheers stu

[Andy Velez]

...and those are not in any way HIV specific symptoms.

Good luck with your test. I expect a happy result.

[foolishboy]

Hi andy. Well I finaly plucked up the courage to go to my local gum clinic,took a good friend with me i was in and out in 40 mins not as painfully as expected and the doctor checked me out for everything. I asked about HIV under my circumstances and was told the same that I was low risk no infection was found and the doctor only took blood for my piece of mind should get those results in 10 days. I feel a lot better in myself now having been and definitely encourage anybody with worries to get checked. I had my first night sleep without worry in months and actually stayed off google everytime I coughed or felt my fingers tingle etc. Il post up my woohoo results when they come through so fingers crossed and Thankyou for your kind words.Stu x

[Andy Velez]

That was a good move on your part, Stu.

Keep busy with other things while you're waiting for your test result. It will help to pass the time.

I expect your result to be woohoo negative.

Cheers.

[foolishboy]

Woohoo all tests clear thankyou andy for your support xxx

[foolishboy]

P.S I'm never going to cheat on my wife again or sleep around unprotected and to everybody scared of the test please don't be all the staff want to help and belive me it's better knowing than not.cheers stu.

[Andy Velez]

That's very good news, Stu.

And although at this moment you aren't planning on straying again, just make sure that if you do and are having intercourse, that you always wear a condom. No exceptions.

Good luck to you.

[foolishboy]

Sorry to drag this up again Andy but would you think that the tests i had done at the hospital were conclusive and that there would be no need for further testing now seeing as i waited 8 months to get tested in the first place,still niggling at my mind,cheers matey

[Andy Velez]

Niggles or not, your test result was absolutely conclusive. 13 weeks is sufficient and your negative result was long after that. You are worrying needlessly.

Cut it out and get on with your life.

[foolishboy]

 :)Will do Cheers Andy !!