POZ Community Forums
Main Forums => Living With HIV => Topic started by: egello on February 17, 2007, 03:22:51 pm
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that once you start the medication, you have a limited number of years left until your body starts showing the effects of the medication, such as lipo belly, face, and butt, yellowing eyes, hair falling out, skin texture change and more veins, and numerous other things.
i am 31 now and has been in a relationship for four years, rather peaceful serene and secure one. however, since going through all aids and medication recently, and reboosting of my testosterone level, i just can't seem to enjoy this relationship anymore. i am just not focused on this relationship anymore even though i can appreciate what we have. i feel that i am out of time and that i should go out and get laid as much as possible as hiv positive person can get laid.
i mean, lets say my partner and i break up in say 5-10 years, he will go on aging gracefully, still being able to find sex or other relationship pretty or somewhat easily. Whereas for me, in 5-10 years, my body woul dhave changed and i probably won't be as attractive to others as I am right now.
DO YOU GUYS ALL KNOW WHAT I MEAN? it just doesn't seem fair at all!!!!! What am I suppose to do??????? Sex with strangers is of course not as exciting with sex with your partner.
What do you guys all think?
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Oh, I went just WILD with sex after diagnosis. Or rather after getting through the first year of my diagnosis. And yes, I always used protection so I wasn't running around like Typhoid Mary. I guess this lasted about five years :)
As far as HIV medications and altering your appearance, please keep in mind that this does not happen to everyone, and when it does happen it's in various degrees etc.
I really think that the newly diagnosed are fixating on what happened to some of us that were diagnosed and on HAART in the 90's, though nothing is assured. They are always fine tuning treatment and you have the luxury of other people being the earlier guinea pigs, which of course personally irks me but hey that's just how the cookie crumbles.
Sex with strangers is of course not as exciting with sex with your partner.
O RLY? ha ha
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I don't know what combo you're on, but a lot of those physical sides you mention are more common and specific to specific drugs - many like Zerit and Crixivan (in terms of lipo) which are not prescirbed very often anymore.
You should look at your specific situation and/or combo and look up what the short term/long term known sides are and then make a decision based on that.
Physical sides can happen but each drug is different and throwing all the sides on the table and expecting each and every one to happen as an inevitable result for one specific combo is, IMHO, not very factual or practical.
Were all going to get older and some will lose their hair and get big belly's and get veiny legs and get different skin texture. That describes just about every older relative I have.
Looks fade no matter what. If you wanna get all the sex in while you're younger or because your fearful of physical side effects, then that's your choice.
I would only say that, based on my own experience, don't make short term decisions thinking you won't be "looking good" when you may well be looking good for years to come and regret the short term decisions. I'm going on six years on meds and have none of teh ohysical sides you listed and am not anticipating any of them.
Mike :)
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Mike said: "I would only say that, based on my own experience, don't make short term decisions thinking you won't be "looking good" when you may well be looking good for years to come and regret the short term decisions. I'm going on six years on meds and have none of teh ohysical sides you listed and am not anticipating any of them."
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Egello.......You should think twice about ruining your relationship. Unless you really didn't want to remain in the relationship ANYWAY, you may regret destroying the one thing that so many of us want.........a stable relationship.
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I agree with Bear, although I have had so few longtime relationships, I am sure these feelings happen and will pass. Just cuz yer crotch itches a little, don't run out and rub it all over a bunch of strangers. Sometimes we take things for granted and it would suck to have the regret of losing something great. However, all things seem to begin and end...
I wanna get married :(
Drew
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Be very glad you have a relationship which you describe as "serene". Have you talked to him about how you feel?
Here are a couple things to think about.
You are still young. As the meds begin to work and your health improves, you will find that you can do things like work out again. Your body might change as a result of the meds, but you now have even more reasons to take care of yourself. Many of us have found solace in physical activity. And as your body ages naturally, you will find that some of those unwelcome changes that take place because of it will be much more manageable because you are taking care of your little ole' bod.
Your feelings of impending mortality are normal. Please, try to talk to your partner about your fears and how you feel. (If you haven't already) It sounds like you have a good relationship that way.
Also, I remember thinking that I would not live ten more years. Here it is ten years later. The meds suck, but they keep you alive. And, you, above all others, have control over how you choose to live it. Your attitude about life is what will color everything you do. It is the one thing you CAN actually control. So, while you feel disconnected and sad right now, and it's really important that you allow yourself to feel whatever it is you need to feel.... just remember that you will probably eventually reach a place where HIV is not the defining feature of every waking moment.
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Stay with ya man.
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i guess the concensus is that i should stay with him.
no, i have not discussed this kind of feeling with my partner because I fear that it will hurt him after all that he has done for me during my illness. also, this feeling is very selfish of me, i mean who wouldn't want to get laid outside the relationship? its just bit weird i guess, i just don't feel like a lover anymore or don't even want to be romantic with him.....
i 've been looking really good lately, actually, the testosterone makes my workout results amazing and my horny level is up the roof! anything that moves turns me on, except when it comes to my partner, with all that we just recently went through, puts emotional damper on feeling sexual with him. too much baggage mabye?
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I don't know what combo you're on, but a lot of those physical sides you mention are more common and specific to specific drugs - many like Zerit and Crixivan (in terms of lipo) which are not prescirbed very often anymore.
You should look at your specific situation and/or combo and look up what the short term/long term known sides are and then make a decision based on that.
Physical sides can happen but each drug is different and throwing all the sides on the table and expecting each and every one to happen as an inevitable result for one specific combo is, IMHO, not very factual or practical.
Were all going to get older and some will lose their hair and get big belly's and get veiny legs and get different skin texture. That describes just about every older relative I have.
Looks fade no matter what. If you wanna get all the sex in while you're younger or because your fearful of physical side effects, then that's your choice.
I would only say that, based on my own experience, don't make short term decisions thinking you won't be "looking good" when you may well be looking good for years to come and regret the short term decisions. I'm going on six years on meds and have none of teh ohysical sides you listed and am not anticipating any of them.
Mike :)
hmmm... did your skin tone chanage at all? because i have a really nice soft baby skin, and complimented by people all the time,,, am i going to loose that?
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i guess the concensus is that i should stay with him.
no, i have not discussed this kind of feeling with my partner because I fear that it will hurt him after all that he has done for me during my illness. also, this feeling is very selfish of me, i mean who wouldn't want to get laid outside the relationship? its just bit weird i guess, i just don't feel like a lover anymore or don't even want to be romantic with him.....
i 've been looking really good lately, actually, the testosterone makes my workout results amazing and my horny level is up the roof! anything that moves turns me on, except when it comes to my partner, with all that we just recently went through, puts emotional damper on feeling sexual with him. too much baggage mabye?
Same thing happened to me when I went on testosterone I was so climbing the walls like a cat in heat. I was honest with my partner at the time, plus it was a long distance thing so he said for me to go get plowed, but gave me a set of rules to adhere to (couldn't see the same guy twice, and I was not allowed to do it in the same bed he had to sleep in when he was at my house, and when I did it I had to tell him).
Only one time did I not adhere to these rules, and I slept with this incredibly, monstrously, obscenely hung Jamaican guy twice. OMG, he should have been in porn. But then the Jamaican said he was falling for me so I got why my partner had put that rule down.
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Woops - sorry Egello didn't realize until now you had your combo listed in your signature.
I don't know if your skin is going to turn bad because I've never been on Reyataz - but have never heard of soft skin turning not-so-soft from it. But better to ask someone who has experience with it or your doc.
I do know that the few weird dry patches I had (seborrhic dermatitis) prior to starting meds mostly went away after I went on meds (and using Neutregena T-Gel) - so my skin was better after treatment. But as with anything everyone is different.
Peace...
Mike