Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.
March 19, 2024, 01:15:44 am

Login with username, password and session length


Members
Stats
  • Total Posts: 772784
  • Total Topics: 66296
  • Online Today: 267
  • Online Ever: 5484
  • (June 18, 2021, 11:15:29 pm)
Users Online
Users: 0
Guests: 160
Total: 160

Welcome


Welcome to the POZ Community Forums, a round-the-clock discussion area for people with HIV/AIDS, their friends/family/caregivers, and others concerned about HIV/AIDS.  Click on the links below to browse our various forums; scroll down for a glance at the most recent posts; or join in the conversation yourself by registering on the left side of this page.

Privacy Warning:  Please realize that these forums are open to all, and are fully searchable via Google and other search engines. If you are HIV positive and disclose this in our forums, then it is almost the same thing as telling the whole world (or at least the World Wide Web). If this concerns you, then do not use a username or avatar that are self-identifying in any way. We do not allow the deletion of anything you post in these forums, so think before you post.

  • The information shared in these forums, by moderators and members, is designed to complement, not replace, the relationship between an individual and his/her own physician.

  • All members of these forums are, by default, not considered to be licensed medical providers. If otherwise, users must clearly define themselves as such.

  • Forums members must behave at all times with respect and honesty. Posting guidelines, including time-out and banning policies, have been established by the moderators of these forums. Click here for “Do I Have HIV?” posting guidelines. Click here for posting guidelines pertaining to all other POZ community forums.

  • We ask all forums members to provide references for health/medical/scientific information they provide, when it is not a personal experience being discussed. Please provide hyperlinks with full URLs or full citations of published works not available via the Internet. Additionally, all forums members must post information which are true and correct to their knowledge.

  • Product advertisement—including links; banners; editorial content; and clinical trial, study or survey participation—is strictly prohibited by forums members unless permission has been secured from POZ.

To change forums navigation language settings, click here (members only), Register now

Para cambiar sus preferencias de los foros en español, haz clic aquí (sólo miembros), Regístrate ahora

Finished Reading This? You can collapse this or any other box on this page by clicking the symbol in each box.

Welcome to Do I Have HIV?

Welcome to the "Do I Have HIV?" POZ forum.

This special section of the POZ forum is for individuals who have concerns about whether or not they are HIV positive. Individuals are permitted to post up to three questions or responses in this forum.

Ongoing participation in the "Do I Have HIV?" forum (posting more than three questions or responses) requires a paid subscription, with secure payments made via PayPal.

A seven-day subscription is $9.99, a 30-day subscription is $14.99 and a 90-day subscription is $24.99.

Anyone who needs to post more than three messages in the "Do I Have HIV?" forum -- including past, present and future POZ Forums members -- will need to subscribe, with secure payments made via PayPal.

There is no charge to read threads in the "Do I Have HIV?" forum, nor will there be a charge for participating in any of the other POZ forums. In addition, the POZ Basics "HIV Transmission and Risks" and "HIV Testing" basics, will remain accessible to all.

NOTE: HIV testing questions will still need to be posted in the "Do I Have HIV?" forum; attempts to post HIV symptoms or testing questions in any other forums will be considered violations of our rules of membership and subject to time-outs and permanent bans.

To learn how to upgrade your Forums account to participate beyond three posts in the "Do I Have HIV?" Forum, please click here.

Thank you for your understanding and future support of the best online support service for people living with, affected by and at risk for HIV.

Author Topic: Is it safe to have unprotected sex with my wife?  (Read 23330 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline palat72

  • Member
  • Posts: 31
Is it safe to have unprotected sex with my wife?
« on: January 21, 2012, 07:44:20 pm »
Four weeks ago,I visited a brothel in Mexico. She was very beautiful,slim and sexy. First we kissed with our tongues vigorously for about 6 mins, then I sucked her breasts for about 6 mins after which I went down and licked her vagina vigorously for about 10 mins. Then she got hold of my penis with her wet hands with vaginal flluids (she had used her hand into her vagina while I was licking her) and started to stroke my penis and oral sex with my penis. . At the end, I came while she performed unprotected oral sex on me. I did not check or know if she had any cuts or bruises in her mouth or hands. I am worried I may have contracted the virus as 3 days ago I came down with first irritation of the throat,followed by cough and fever. Throat irritation and cough persists till today, which is the fourth day. Fever(a low grade one) lasted for about 4 hours on the second day, after which it subsided. My 3 questions are : Do I need testing, are any of these symptoms hiv specific and can I safely have unprotected sex with my wife? We are in a monogamous relationship for the last several years until I got strayed with this recent episode. I am really worried about this. Please help me!!!

Offline palat72

  • Member
  • Posts: 31
Re: Is it safe to have unprotected sex with my wife?
« Reply #1 on: January 21, 2012, 08:10:40 pm »
Considering the type of symptoms I have now, are they Hiv realted? If not, what is the criteria for the symptoms to be hiv specific? What is the time frame and what common symsptoms can be hiv realted?

Offline jkinatl2

  • Member
  • Posts: 6,007
  • Doo. Dah. Dipp-ity.
Re: Is it safe to have unprotected sex with my wife?
« Reply #2 on: January 21, 2012, 08:33:00 pm »
Nothing you described in lurid detail put you at risk for HIV infection.
"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline palat72

  • Member
  • Posts: 31
Re: Is it safe to have unprotected sex with my wife?
« Reply #3 on: January 21, 2012, 08:43:14 pm »
So should I consider this as safe to have unprotected sex with my wife? No testing whatsoever required??

Offline RapidRod

  • Member
  • Posts: 15,288
Re: Is it safe to have unprotected sex with my wife?
« Reply #4 on: January 21, 2012, 08:45:33 pm »
So should I consider this as safe to have unprotected sex with my wife? No testing whatsoever required??
Not an HIV concern as jkinatl2 advised you.

Offline jkinatl2

  • Member
  • Posts: 6,007
  • Doo. Dah. Dipp-ity.
Re: Is it safe to have unprotected sex with my wife?
« Reply #5 on: January 21, 2012, 08:46:55 pm »
Oh you can get syphilis, chlamydia, gonnnorrhea, herpes, genital warts, and other from the incident as you described it. Not HIV however.
"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline palat72

  • Member
  • Posts: 31
Re: Is it safe to have unprotected sex with my wife?
« Reply #6 on: January 21, 2012, 08:52:36 pm »
That's ok. My only concern is HIV!

Can I ask you if you could elaborate on the symptoms, that is does hiv symptoms came and go ALL AT ONCE TOGETHER??

Offline RapidRod

  • Member
  • Posts: 15,288
Re: Is it safe to have unprotected sex with my wife?
« Reply #7 on: January 21, 2012, 08:56:37 pm »
That's ok. My only concern is HIV!

Can I ask you if you could elaborate on the symptoms, that is does hiv symptoms came and go ALL AT ONCE TOGETHER??
No, you didn't have an exposure.

Offline jkinatl2

  • Member
  • Posts: 6,007
  • Doo. Dah. Dipp-ity.
Re: Is it safe to have unprotected sex with my wife?
« Reply #8 on: January 21, 2012, 08:58:52 pm »
HIV infection sometimes manifest as a brief non-specific immune response with widely varying levels of severity. They manifest all at once and last roughly ten days before disappearing.

This is strictly academic however as you had no risk.
"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline Ann

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 28,134
  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Is it safe to have unprotected sex with my wife?
« Reply #9 on: January 22, 2012, 05:14:43 am »
Palat,

Why is your only concern hiv? If you have contracted another STI from your brothel experience and pass it on to your wife, I don't think she will be be particularly thrilled that it wasn't hiv. She wouldn't be too happy either way.

While hiv is a fragile, difficult to transmit virus, other STIs are much, MUCH more easily transmitted. That sore throat you have? It could be an STI, but not hiv. Yes, you can get syphilis, gonorrhea, chlamydia and herpes when going down on a woman. You can also get the same while getting a blowjob. But hiv? No.

Stop worrying about something you were not at risk for and wise up and worry about the STIs you were at risk for. It never ceases to amaze me how people worry about hiv - a difficult to transmit virus - to the exclusion of STIs they have been much more likely to pick up.

You can have sex with your wife and not worry about infecting her with hiv. However, you cannot have sex with your wife and not worry about infecting her with other STIs. Chances are you're ok where other STIs are concerned, but the ONLY way to know for sure is to test for them. You can test ten days to two weeks after your brothel experience for the other STIs. I suggest you do so.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline palat72

  • Member
  • Posts: 31
Re: Is it safe to have unprotected sex with my wife?
« Reply #10 on: January 22, 2012, 02:11:46 pm »
The reason is because HIV will be a DEATH SENTENCE for both of us. We have small kids and I may end up doing something serious, if it comes to this. Even with HIV medicines, it is still a TORTURE until the end where you lie down on a hospital bed very sickly, in pain, just waiting to die.

Offline Ann

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 28,134
  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Is it safe to have unprotected sex with my wife?
« Reply #11 on: January 22, 2012, 03:04:36 pm »
Palat,

You've got a lot to learn about hiv in the modern world. Hiv is NOT a death sentence.

If by "I may end up doing something serious" you're talking about murder/suicide of your wife and kids and yourself - over an hiv diagnosis - then you sir, are an ass. Plain and simple.

I'm hiv positive and I have been for fifteen years now. I'm not planning on dying any time soon and I very much doubt that it will be hiv that takes me out. I do not feel "tortured" over my infection either.

Grow up and stop the dramatics. You didn't even have a risk.

Ann

« Last Edit: January 22, 2012, 03:06:49 pm by Ann »
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline palat72

  • Member
  • Posts: 31
Re: Is it safe to have unprotected sex with my wife?
« Reply #12 on: January 23, 2012, 04:41:43 am »
I will go ahead and get tested for STD's.
And I will also get tested on my hiv status in 2 months time.

Only problem is what excuse to give to my wife for not having sex with her in this time frame.

Offline Ann

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 28,134
  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Is it safe to have unprotected sex with my wife?
« Reply #13 on: January 23, 2012, 05:52:10 am »
palat,

You can tell you wife you are fretting over a NO RISK incident. You can tell her you were not at risk for hiv but you are insisting on pretending otherwise, just because you like the drama. You can tell her you refuse to listen to the science of hiv transmission. You can tell her that you think hiv would be a reason to kill her, the kids and yourself. Bet that will go down a treat.

Tell her anything you like, but don't think you'll be able to use this website to continue to wring your hands over a virus for which you have not been at risk.

If you read the Welcome Thread before posting like you're supposed to, you will have read the following posting guideline:

Quote

Anyone who continues to post excessively, questioning a conclusive negative result or no-risk situation, will be subject to a four week Time Out (a temporary ban from the Forums). If you continue to post excessively after one Time Out, you may be given a second Time Out which will last eight weeks. There is no third Time Out - it is a permanent ban. The purpose of a Time Out is to encourage you to seek the face-to-face help we cannot provide on this forum.


Please consider yourself warned!

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline palat72

  • Member
  • Posts: 31
Re: Is it safe to have unprotected sex with my wife?
« Reply #14 on: January 24, 2012, 07:04:33 am »
Please,if i may LAST 2 questions:
1. Can a person get an STD from masturbation with virus contaminated hands? Or is it only possible either through an actual intercourse/oral sex?

2. Can a person get  cough,flu and sore throat from worrying excessively (high stress in my case) or is it only possible from an actual bacterial/viral infection in the air/food?

Ann, thank you for everything. You are a wonderfuk person, doing a great service for worriers like me and others, you have a good soul.

Offline RapidRod

  • Member
  • Posts: 15,288
Re: Is it safe to have unprotected sex with my wife?
« Reply #15 on: January 24, 2012, 07:06:58 am »
Please,if i may LAST 2 questions:
1. Can a person get an STD from masturbation with virus contaminated hands? Or is it only possible either through an actual intercourse/oral sex?

2. Can a person get  cough,flu and sore throat from worrying excessively (high stress in my case) or is it only possible from an actual bacterial/viral infection in the air/food?

Ann, thank you for everything. You are a wonderfuk person, doing a great service for worriers like me and others, you have a good soul.
You do not have an HIV concern.

Offline palat72

  • Member
  • Posts: 31
Re: Is it safe to have unprotected sex with my wife?
« Reply #16 on: January 24, 2012, 07:13:19 am »
If you could please,please just answer the 2 questions as requested, I will be very very thankful.Really, all i need is your answer to the above 2 questions. Thats a genuine request, PLEASE!!

Offline RapidRod

  • Member
  • Posts: 15,288
Re: Is it safe to have unprotected sex with my wife?
« Reply #17 on: January 24, 2012, 07:24:42 am »
If you could please,please just answer the 2 questions as requested, I will be very very thankful.Really, all i need is your answer to the above 2 questions. Thats a genuine request, PLEASE!!
■Anyone who continues to post excessively, questioning a conclusive negative result,  or no-risk situation will be subject to a four week Time Out (a temporary ban from the Forums). If you continue to post excessively after one Time Out, you may be given a second Time Out which will last eight weeks. There is no third Time Out - it is a permanent ban. The purpose of a Time Out is to encourage you to seek the face-to-face help we cannot provide on this forum.

Offline palat72

  • Member
  • Posts: 31
Re: Is it safe to have unprotected sex with my wife?
« Reply #18 on: January 24, 2012, 07:38:48 am »
Maybe Ann would heed my request!

Offline Andy Velez

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 34,126
Re: Is it safe to have unprotected sex with my wife?
« Reply #19 on: January 24, 2012, 08:40:12 am »
Please,if i may LAST 2 questions:
1. Can a person get an STD from masturbation with virus contaminated hands? Or is it only possible either through an actual intercourse/oral sex?

2. Can a person get  cough,flu and sore throat from worrying excessively (high stress in my case) or is it only possible from an actual bacterial/viral infection in the air/food?

Ann, thank you for everything. You are a wonderfuk person, doing a great service for worriers like me and others, you have a good soul.

Some STDs can be transmitted through skin to skin contact. Our focus here is strictly on HIV. If you have symptoms which are concerning you about some other STD, that is something to discuss with your doctor. We cannot diagnose anything here. I will say that nothing you are reporting symptomatically is suggestive of an STD to me.

Worry can affect your immune system and make you more vulnerable to illness. But again, we cannot diagnose anything so if you have a concern about any symptoms, that is something to take up with your doctor.

You did not have a risk for HIV. Period. And if you come back again with more what ifs and drama over that issue, you are going to find yourself getting a Time Out from this site. HIV is not your problem. Period.
« Last Edit: January 24, 2012, 08:41:43 am by Andy Velez »
Andy Velez

Offline palat72

  • Member
  • Posts: 31
Re: Is it safe to have unprotected sex with my wife?
« Reply #20 on: January 24, 2012, 09:01:18 am »
Perfect! Now i'm convinced that my flu-like illness is caused by excessive worry and stress over this issue. Thank you for discerning my fears.

Offline Andy Velez

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 34,126
Re: Is it safe to have unprotected sex with my wife?
« Reply #21 on: January 24, 2012, 09:29:07 am »
Just keep in mind that if symptoms persist you should check them out with your doctor.

For sure HIV is not the problem.
Andy Velez

Offline palat72

  • Member
  • Posts: 31
Re: Is it safe to have unprotected sex with my wife?
« Reply #22 on: February 03, 2012, 09:47:47 am »
You guys are doing an amazing service for the community, discerning fears and educating people especially on the routes of hiv transmission. Basically, as per your assesment its ONLY unprotected sex that we should all be concerned about on hiv risk. May God bless you guys/gals! :)

Offline Andy Velez

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 34,126
Re: Is it safe to have unprotected sex with my wife?
« Reply #23 on: February 03, 2012, 10:18:24 am »
You're welcome. Now get on with your life.
Andy Velez

Offline palat72

  • Member
  • Posts: 31
Re: Is it safe to have unprotected sex with my wife?
« Reply #24 on: February 11, 2012, 01:11:07 pm »
I have been surfing the internet for a good number of days now. ALL the websites I surfed says there is a risk of getting infected from vaginal fluids entering your system from the urethra,mouth or mucuuos memebrane in the penis. Now I am worry again if fluids coming in contact with my mucuos membrane in penis in masturbation process or mouth will for sure infect me! Not to say I am going against your judgement considering you have decades of experience in this matter. Its just that only your website says contrary to ALL THE OTHER websites I surfed. Please calm my fears, now I am begining to get paranoid over this. Please help. Thank you for your time. I apprecaie this!

Offline jkinatl2

  • Member
  • Posts: 6,007
  • Doo. Dah. Dipp-ity.
Re: Is it safe to have unprotected sex with my wife?
« Reply #25 on: February 11, 2012, 01:44:53 pm »
It is neither our responsibility nor our intent to scour and correct the internet and misinformation/disinformation.

The HIV assessment and transmission information we give is based on solid first-tiered peer-reviewed scientific information. We back up our advice with evidence - something that I bet the other sites you visit do not. We do not blindly rely on outdated information, and fact check everything ourselves - something, again, that I bet those other sites do not do.

You are free to accept or reject our information. But it will not be because we have no evidence, no science, and no experience. AIDSMEDS remains the best, most exhaustively researched HIV transmission site of which I am aware.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline palat72

  • Member
  • Posts: 31
Re: Is it safe to have unprotected sex with my wife?
« Reply #26 on: February 11, 2012, 01:50:50 pm »
You guys are the best! This removes my anxieties again.
Just to recap: that means no hiv testing in my case, am I correctly understanding this?

Offline Ann

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 28,134
  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Is it safe to have unprotected sex with my wife?
« Reply #27 on: February 12, 2012, 05:06:27 am »
Palat,

No, you do not need to test over this incident.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline palat72

  • Member
  • Posts: 31
Re: Is it safe to have unprotected sex with my wife?
« Reply #28 on: February 14, 2012, 11:18:09 am »
I have 2 questions, if I may :

Q1: A lab test is a lab test. I'm sure the procedures followed are the same all over the world. Then why does the results differ in respect to the number of minutes the hiv virus survives outside the body? The results range from seconds to a couple of hours! Why different results for one same testing?
Q2: When was your website last updated?

Thank you for your answers.

Offline RapidRod

  • Member
  • Posts: 15,288
Re: Is it safe to have unprotected sex with my wife?
« Reply #29 on: February 14, 2012, 11:24:08 am »
I have 2 questions, if I may :

Q1: A lab test is a lab test. I'm sure the procedures followed are the same all over the world. Then why does the results differ in respect to the number of minutes the hiv virus survives outside the body? The results range from seconds to a couple of hours! Why different results for one same testing?
Q2: When was your website last updated?

Thank you for your answers.

1.Your confusing surviving and the ability to infect. HIV is a fragile virus and when exposed to air,PH change, temperature change it damages the outer shell of the virus and the virus cannot attach to the T cell which renders the virus inactive.

Offline palat72

  • Member
  • Posts: 31
Re: Is it safe to have unprotected sex with my wife?
« Reply #30 on: February 14, 2012, 11:32:15 am »
So, in other words, it is still living but kind of crippled now that it looses its ability to infect? Why is this explanation not mentioned anywhere else on the internet? I know you are not responsible on other internet sites, but the question still remains!

Thank you once again.

Offline RapidRod

  • Member
  • Posts: 15,288
Re: Is it safe to have unprotected sex with my wife?
« Reply #31 on: February 14, 2012, 11:34:28 am »
So, in other words, it is still living but kind of crippled now that it looses its ability to infect? Why is this explanation not mentioned anywhere else on the internet? I know you are not responsible on other internet sites, but the question still remains!

Thank you once again.
The virus is not alive. It cannot stay active or replicate without a host cell.

Offline palat72

  • Member
  • Posts: 31
Re: Is it safe to have unprotected sex with my wife?
« Reply #32 on: February 14, 2012, 11:40:44 am »
Thank you once again!
You guys are the best!

Offline Ann

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 28,134
  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Is it safe to have unprotected sex with my wife?
« Reply #33 on: February 14, 2012, 12:00:24 pm »
Palat,

This website is constantly being updated as new data emerges. The Lessons all have "last update" stamps at the bottom of the page.

You probably won't find the in-depth information you're looking for in some neat, tidy article. This is because for those of us who have an understanding of the virus on a molecular level coupled with an understanding of how different viruses are constructed and of what materials they are constructed from, it's rather obvious what's going to happen to the outer covering of this particular virus when it's outside a very specific environment. We're not here to give in-depth virology lectures. Go to a university and take a few virology courses if you want that level of knowledge. :)

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline palat72

  • Member
  • Posts: 31
Re: Is it safe to have unprotected sex with my wife?
« Reply #34 on: February 15, 2012, 08:22:14 am »
Sorry, but I'm a bit confused now. On one side you say I'm confused between 'survives' 'and abilty to infect'. When I asked 'if its still living, but 'not able to infect', you say virus is dead. So,if it survives, how can it be dead? How can it be alive and dead at the same time. Sorry, I am too clear on this, if you could please elaborate on this again. Thank you. :-\

Offline palat72

  • Member
  • Posts: 31
Re: Is it safe to have unprotected sex with my wife?
« Reply #35 on: February 15, 2012, 08:28:34 am »
I just read Ann's reply, after I had posted. So I guess, there is no need to answer my question now. Ann has given a good suggestion on take virology classes, but you know this won't happen  :D
What a nasty virus, this is. Luckily it does not survive once outside the body. This info is very encouraging, guys/gals.  :)

Offline Andy Velez

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 34,126
Re: Is it safe to have unprotected sex with my wife?
« Reply #36 on: February 15, 2012, 12:25:04 pm »
I hope it's encouraging enough for you to get on with your life. We are not here to serve everytime you have another burst of anxiety or doubt.

Get on with your life. Really.
Andy Velez

Offline palat72

  • Member
  • Posts: 31
Re: Is it safe to have unprotected sex with my wife?
« Reply #37 on: February 16, 2012, 05:28:29 pm »
One question, If I may:
You say women's fluids(semen) is what comes outside of a woman when she is aroused and this is NOT infectious, as the infectious fluids are high up in the cervical area. Then why do they say everywhere that semen is infectious in that hiv is always present in semen of poz's? Am I missing something, am I understanding it wrongly?

Offline jkinatl2

  • Member
  • Posts: 6,007
  • Doo. Dah. Dipp-ity.
Re: Is it safe to have unprotected sex with my wife?
« Reply #38 on: February 16, 2012, 05:50:45 pm »
One question, If I may:
You say women's fluids(semen) is what comes outside of a woman when she is aroused and this is NOT infectious, as the infectious fluids are high up in the cervical area. Then why do they say everywhere that semen is infectious in that hiv is always present in semen of poz's? Am I missing something, am I understanding it wrongly?

A) While HIV antibodies are present in all bodily fluids, infectious HIV particles are often NOT present in the semen of a male when he is on medication and his viral levels are undetectable.

B) Semen and vaginal fluids are not the same things.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline palat72

  • Member
  • Posts: 31
Re: Is it safe to have unprotected sex with my wife?
« Reply #39 on: February 16, 2012, 06:28:01 pm »
So am I correct to say : a poz woman who is NOT on medication, is always infectious in her bodily fluids and semen and thereby can spread an infection through unprotected sex? So in this aspect, the theory that infectious fluids are only present high up in the cervical area does not always hold true??

Offline RapidRod

  • Member
  • Posts: 15,288
Re: Is it safe to have unprotected sex with my wife?
« Reply #40 on: February 16, 2012, 06:31:06 pm »
Any positive person is always infectious.

Offline jkinatl2

  • Member
  • Posts: 6,007
  • Doo. Dah. Dipp-ity.
Re: Is it safe to have unprotected sex with my wife?
« Reply #41 on: February 16, 2012, 06:34:58 pm »
So am I correct to say : a poz woman who is NOT on medication, is always infectious in her bodily fluids and semen and thereby can spread an infection through unprotected sex? So in this aspect, the theory that infectious fluids are only present high up in the cervical area does not always hold true??

No. The fluids coming from the Bartholen Glands are the lubricating fluids you will encounter during, say, fingering and cunnilingus. The thicker cervical fluids are, if the woman is HIV positive, potentially infectious.

HIV antibodies and viral particles can be ISOLATED in any body fluid, period. Sweat, tears, and other NON INFECTIOUS fluids (like the ones we discussed before). This does not in any way mean that these fluids are infectious, just that HIV antibodies can be isolated from them. This allows for rapid testing through oral mucousal samples, for instance.

Whether a woman OR man with HIV is infectious depends on his/her viral load. Obviously, an undetectable viral load as measured in the blood might or might not corroborate with an undetectable viral load in semen or cervical fluids. Which is why using a condom for penetrative sex with a person of unknown status is always a good idea.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline palat72

  • Member
  • Posts: 31
Re: Is it safe to have unprotected sex with my wife?
« Reply #42 on: February 16, 2012, 06:41:10 pm »
But you guys have said several times in the forum that vaginal fluids from the vagina are not infectious because they come from benocolin glands (sorry I dont recall the exact word and its spelling). The infectious fluids you guys have said is that which is high up in the cervical area!

Offline jkinatl2

  • Member
  • Posts: 6,007
  • Doo. Dah. Dipp-ity.
Re: Is it safe to have unprotected sex with my wife?
« Reply #43 on: February 16, 2012, 06:43:41 pm »
But you guys have said several times in the forum that vaginal fluids from the vagina are not infectious because they come from benocolin glands (sorry I dont recall the exact word and its spelling). The infectious fluids you guys have said is that which is high up in the cervical area!

That is because you are referencing two different fluids. One is infectious. One is not.

I am not exactly sure where the confusion is here.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline palat72

  • Member
  • Posts: 31
Re: Is it safe to have unprotected sex with my wife?
« Reply #44 on: February 16, 2012, 06:44:36 pm »
Sorry, I just read your post, after I posted again. Thank you for the clarification!

Offline palat72

  • Member
  • Posts: 31
Re: Is it safe to have unprotected sex with my wife?
« Reply #45 on: February 16, 2012, 06:51:37 pm »
Sorry, I re- read your post again. So vaginal fluids coming from Barcolen glands are NOT infectious, is that correct? Then why do we say hiv is present in bodily fluids such as semen, blood etc. You mean vaginal fluids are NOT bodily fluids?

Offline jkinatl2

  • Member
  • Posts: 6,007
  • Doo. Dah. Dipp-ity.
Re: Is it safe to have unprotected sex with my wife?
« Reply #46 on: February 16, 2012, 07:03:00 pm »
Sorry, I re- read your post again. So vaginal fluids coming from Barcolen glands are NOT infectious, is that correct? Then why do we say hiv is present in bodily fluids such as semen, blood etc. You mean vaginal fluids are NOT bodily fluids?

Of course vaginal fluids are bodily fluids. So is sweat and so are tears.

The fluids you encounter in fingering and cunnilingus are not the infectious ones, however.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline palat72

  • Member
  • Posts: 31
Re: Is it safe to have unprotected sex with my wife?
« Reply #47 on: February 16, 2012, 08:38:14 pm »
I wonder WHY they are not infectious, since VIRAL particles can be found in these fluids as well??

Offline RapidRod

  • Member
  • Posts: 15,288
Re: Is it safe to have unprotected sex with my wife?
« Reply #48 on: February 16, 2012, 09:01:46 pm »
I wonder WHY they are not infectious, since VIRAL particles can be found in these fluids as well??
There are not enough viral particles to cause infection.

Offline palat72

  • Member
  • Posts: 31
Re: Is it safe to have unprotected sex with my wife?
« Reply #49 on: February 16, 2012, 09:07:48 pm »
You mean to say these viral particles will NOT be able to infect even if DIRECTLY put into the urethra or mucuous lining of a penis??

 


Terms of Membership for these forums
 

© 2024 Smart + Strong. All Rights Reserved.   terms of use and your privacy
Smart + Strong® is a registered trademark of CDM Publishing, LLC.