Advice...

[thedarkknight]

 Hello all, I am really in need of some advice here. You guys all offered sound advice when I needed it once before so I thought I would enquire once again.

I don't know if I'm in the right place of if I am going to come across as and idiot or offensive but I need some help.

I am not even sure how to write this down but here goes, I have been straight all my life, been in love a couple of times and had a lot of girls, Im 22. Never thought to myself that I am gay, or even looked at anyone of the opposite sex in a more than friendly way.

Recently I've embarked on a relationship with a girl I work with and it has been amazing, we get on in every way possible, spending all our time together and having lots of fun. I even found myself at the point of telling her that I loved her, but refrained in case of scaring her off. Any way a few days later we were fooling around and I "lost interest" because she wasn't quite getting it right and paniced, immediately thinking of impotency and the possibility that I wasn't interested in girls...a ridiculous notion but since then I have been overthinking the latter point uncontrollably (sp).

I have a tendency, and several have described this "tendency" to actually be OCD, to overthink and convince myself of things. After a single bad acid trip I convinced myself that I was going to lose my mind and ruined everything around me to only regret it after relaisng I was fine. I also got the same way about my health a couple of years after, which originally bought me here.

Now I can't stop wondering whether or not I am gay. I can't understand how I can go from the happiest I have been in years to this feeling in what was roughly about ten mins. Since the incident I mentioned we have fooled around a couple of times and normal service has been resumed to put it politely, and I was fine all day with her yesterday, having fun and enjoying myself. But today I have been miserable, I can't shake off this feeling, and have even been glancing at men this morning whilst in town to see what I feel, and noticing that I am glancing at women less, but also realising that I am probably doing this on purpose, as I seem to be wallowing in this problem.

I don't have anyone face to face I can talk to about this, and the one or two I hacve spoke to online said that I am not gay, and pointed out that most just know from very early on, and that I am overthinking and need to see a psychologist about my apparent OCD.

I guess I'm here to just see what others think about what I have descibed.

Am I gay? Or is the low feelings I am feeling due to that Im with someone amazing who I don't want to lose? And is maybe that I am considering something like this when she is so happy, just as I was just a few days ago, thats making me feel so low. It's really messing things up at the moment for me. How can I switch from being straight to considering this in ten minutes? I really want to see her right now and she is coming over, can't wait, and have wanted to see her all day. Confusing myself, and I had a real panic attack this afternoon to boot, first time I have cried for a long time. Have been so happy since Easter, and particularly these last few weeks with her. We have to go out tonight for a leaving party and Im gonna be so quiet all night cos I can't stop thinking about this.

Please don't treat this with any scorn if I have offended or wasted anyones time.

In need of some help.

J

[Miss Philicia]

One question:  when you masturbate do you think of men or women, and if both at times which do you think of more?

[Dachshund]

Not to be rude but this is a site that is used by HIV+ people to deal with and discuss their problems relating to HIV. I'm a bit curious why as a negative person you would choose us to psychoanalyze whether you are gay or not? We really aren't in the business of helping people decide whether they are gay or not. Diagnosing over the internet would not be in your best interest and reading your past posting history in Am I Infected I am afraid I can see where this is leading. If this is really bothering you, you should seek professional help.

[Life]

Well that really sucks not knowing which side of the fence to swing your legs...  I have some great girl friends but I sure as heck would not know what to in the bedroom.      Some guys just take a bit longer to figure out what makes you happy.   I presume this gf might give you some insight as to what you like in a relationship and what is missing...   Self discovery babe... Go find out what you like and make decisions as they become clearer...

Philly hit it on the head...   (ouch)...  But intuitively its probably your first clue...

Eric

[Hard Times]

i agree with Dachshund !

[Miss Philicia]

Oh... I just assumed he was HIV+

Yeah, that's a bit tired

[thedarkknight]

It's not leading anywhere, it was just a sincere question about the pain Im experiecning. Sorry to have troubled you all.

Oh, and it's always been women for those that suggested it.

[Dachshund]

It's not leading anywhere, it was just a sincere question about the pain Im experiecning. Sorry to have troubled you all.

Oh, and it's always been women for those that suggested it.

well there you go, you've answered your own question. if you want stories about real pain, we've got a ton of them for you.

[Matty the Damned]

Listen Dark it's pretty simple.

If you fancy the idea of copping a big one up the poop shute (I know I do) then you're a gay. Or at least a bisexual.

Got it? Good.

MtD

[thedarkknight]

well there you go, you've answered your own question. if you want stories about real pain, we've got a ton of them for you.

I'm sorry, I wasn't intending to illicit this kind of response, and I know my own problems should stay that. Didn't want to cause offense.

[Dachshund]

I'm sorry, I wasn't intending to illicit this kind of response, and I know my own problems should stay that. Didn't want to cause offense.

Sorry, but we can't guarantee you the kind of "response" you are looking seeking when you post in Off Topic. If you're seriously confused about your sexuality seek professional help. It's that simple...this is not the Am Infected forums where the answers are based on science. We will not wring our hands with you while you obsess about whether or not you want a boy's wee wee.

[Ann]

Dark,

As the Off Topic forum exists so we have a place of light relief from hiv, this subject is not really within this forum's remit.

As others have suggested, if you are truly confused and concerned about this matter, you need to talk to someone face to face. You might think about contacting your local LGBT (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender) organisation and see if they have a peer counselor willing to talk this over with you.

I'm going to lock this thread before things get silly.

Ann