Crippling HIV anxiety after encounter

[leevian]

Hello,
Recently I had my first sexual encounter: a random hookup with a 'bi discreet' stranger from a hookup app. I asked him if he was 'clean' and he assured me he was. Which now that I think about it, was stupid. Should've just asked him if he was negative. Anyways, I preformed oral on him, no kissing or anal. He finished outside for the most part (unless there was precum) but I did lick some cum after he finished. I did deep throat him twice for a few seconds each. I also may have gotten a microdrop of semen in my eyes, it didn't burn but I can't be too sure. About a week and few days after this encounter, I developed flu like symptoms. The first day: post-nasal drip (PND), sore throat form the PND, muscle and joint ache, slight headache (for two days) and swollen lymph nodes neck area (not near ear etc). No rash, no fever, my headache wasn't too severe. My appetite is also fine. Most of these symptoms disappeared the day after and I now just have: post-nasal drip and sore throat, mild muscle and joint ache here and there but still no fever, rash or headache. The first time I noticed these symptoms I texted him right away and he assured me he was 'clean' and that I was just sick. My biggest BIGGEST fear is that he has it but he's in that high viral load phase where he doesn't know it. This is the route of my anxiety rn. I haven't been able to focus on school work because of this stupidity.

Now I'm aware that oral sex has almost zero risk. But what if he did have a high viral load? I have no giant cuts or sores in my mouth, I do have a wisdom tooth coming in and the dentist used a lazer (about a week before) to calm down the inflammation but that healed pretty fast and didn't leave and open cuts. The semen was outside for a few seconds before I licked it and I did try spitting it out after (not sure if I swallowed a bit). I've heard the virus cannot survive too well outside, does this reduce the risk at all? Honestly, I just don't know how to deal with this fear, anxiety and paranoia until I get tested. I've also heard that testing right away won't yield any results as it takes a while for the virus to show up. I don't know how I'm gonna wait 3 months to be tested and know for sure that I'm neg or pos. Every red pimple or area of the skin I see, I immediately freak out thinking it's the rash thats finally showed up. I shaved my chest a few days after the encounter and got razor burn and thought it was the hiv rash. Literally, this anxiety is worse than anything I've dealt with.

[Ptrk3]

Greetings, leevian:  As you apparently already know, performing unprotected oral sex is a most unlikely route of HIV transmission: you also did not have gaping and open wounds in your mouth (a week old dental procedure will not leave such a wound in your mouth).  However, unprotected oral sex could facilitate the transmission of other STD's/STI's.

A "microdrop" of semen in your eyes does not pose a risk for HIV infection. 

It is useless speculating about whether he had a high viral load, since you won't find the answer.  This type of rumination is the root of your anxiety, so you need to guard against it and occupy your mind elsewhere, perhaps by becoming more familiar with how HIV is transmitted and what precautions you can take in future to guard against HIV infection.

Symptoms also are not reliable indicators of HIV infection, since many people develop no symptoms and those that may have symptoms have varies symptoms.

To ease your anxiety, take a look at this link of HIV-transmission risks:

http://www.aidsmap.com/Estimated-risk-per-exposure/page/1324038/

If you do decide to test for HIV antibodies because of this incident, the recommended timeframe is six weeks post exposure, then 13 weeks post exposure for confirmation.  I would expect that any HIV test you take, due to this incident, would be negative.

Finally, HIV-positive people, presuming they bathe, wash, or shower regularly, are as "clean" as any HIV-negative people who bathe, wash, or shower.

[leevian]

I completely understand the use of the term 'clean' and I feel completely ignorant for that.

This spontaneous appearance of flu symptoms after such an encounter is what's terrifying me. Can having a high viral load increase oral transmittance of HIV? Have there been any documented cases of this?

[Ptrk3]

I strongly suspect that your flu symptoms are completely unrelated to any potential HIV infection.  We are in "flu season," after all.  If those symptoms persist and they bother you, you should consider seeing a doctor for treatment of those symptoms.

Since performing unprotected oral sex is a theoretical risk for HIV infection, presuming that obviously gaping open wounds are present, it would stand to reason that a high viral load would increase the chances of HIV transmission.  However, you did not have gaping wounds in your mouth and it is speculative that your partner had a high viral load, if he had any viral load at all.  Your chances of having contracted the HIV during this incident is virtually zero.

Documentation of the type you seek is very murky and open to debate, since it is anecdotal and many HIV-positive people may have conducted other "high risk" actions at the time they also performed unprotected oral sex.

If you decide to test for HIV antibodies over this incident for your own peace of mind, I would fully expect the result to be "negative."

[leevian]

Thank you so much, can't tell you how much this helps in calming my anxiety down. I think the anxiety related symptoms are exacerbating my symptoms if anything.   

[Ptrk3]

You're welcome.  Yes, I think your anxiety is getting the better of you. Relax, things will work out fine.

[Jim Allen]

Hi

If you post outside this thread again you will be banned permanently from the forum. Consider yourself warned

As for giving a blow job, Patrick has already told you and I will tell you again

Saliva contains over a dozen elements that neutralize HIV so if this was your only concern test as you normally would at least yearly for STI's and HIV however no need to panic and no need to rush out and test.

Cut the drama and move on with your life


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