i slipped up

[rwetoocomplacent]

i was complacent about a month ago...i plan to get tested on wednesday.  i guess i'm scared reading all the accounts of people coming back with poz results unexpectedly.  i recognize there is higher risk in my account.  i'm just sad i took myself for granted.

Event #1...i jerkoff way too much.  i was a bit raw.  and i made a poor judgment.  i got a bj from a guy.  he is poz.  we talked after.  he said his mouth was intact...no sores or bleeding gums.  he was very sweet and patient with me questions.

Event #2...gave head to a guy.  he was about to cum.  i pulled him but he did cum a little on my lips etc.  i gargled some H202 because i was concerned.  i discovered i had a cold sore which i did not feel.  i am in touch with the guy.  he is tested regularly but he also has questionable behaviors.

 

[Andy Velez]

As far as your concerns about getting a blowjob, they are completely groundless in terms of HIV science. No matter what the specific details of your incident, in the entire history of the epidemic there's never been a documented case of transmission to a guy who was getting head.

In terms of giving head, there are a very few documented cases of transmission and those are questionable as to accuracy. Your saliva contains elements which very effectively neutralize HIV. In addition a longterm study of sero-discordant couples both gay and straight with lots of protected intercourse and lots of unprotected mutual oral has resulted in not a single sero-negative partner becoming infected.

Go ahead and test if you want to for your own peace of mind. I certainly expect you to test negative.

Cheers, 

[rwetoocomplacent]

in january, i had a group encounter.  i met a guy (#2) who i had been in communication with for a couple months.  when he came into town, we met up.  i went over to his place.  We were making out and i performed oral sex on him.  He had invited another guy (#3) over.  I mainly watched them play.  Well guy #3 ended up taking guy #2 bareback. guy #2 pulled out and ended up cumming on his stomach.  guy #3 left.  guy #2 showered.  i stayed and ended up making out and sucking guy #2 a bit.  and we came together through mutual masturbation.

3 days later...i developed a cold sore  on my lip. and minor cold symptoms.  no fever or anything. 

well, i've have had problems with my lip since.  not nessarily full blown fever blisters but i'll get a bump on my lip and then it goes away in a day. 

i keep in touch with guy #2.  and he's developed a bad case of flu etc.  i guess i'm just worried now with this confluence of events.

i plan to be tested this week and repeat at 12-13 weeks.

i just thought i would get your impressions.  thanks for your diligence and support.

[Andy Velez]

OK. If I am reading you correctly what you're worried about is having given head to the guy who barebacked with the other guy.

Although there have been a few cases of transmission reported to have occured through sucking, they have not been well documented scientifically. There is much more evidence through longterm studies of sero-discordant couples, (both gay and straight), who had lots of protected intercourse and lots of mutual unprotected oral, that giving head is not a risk. Not one sero-negative partner became infected during this study.

So giving unprotected head is in the domain of deciding what level of risk you are comfortable with.

Other STDs are much easier to acquire, which is why we encourage anyone who's sexually active to regularly have a full STD panel done. That means at least annually.

In relation to this incident and despite the "symptoms" you are concerned about, I don't see any need for testing. Nothing you have described is HIV-specific. If they continue you should discuss them with your doctor. I don't see this as an HIV situation.

One last night -- make sure that if and when you're having intercourse, whoever is the insertive partner is wearing a condom. No exceptions. Unprotected anal intercourse is high risk for both partners, albeit somewhat lower risk for the insertive partner. But lower risk is not the same as no risk, so a condom is a must everytime.

 

[Ann]

rwe,

I've merged your new thread into your original thread - where you should post all your additional thoughts or questions. It helps us to help you when you keep all your additional thoughts or questions in one thread.

If you need help finding your thread when you come here, click on the "Show own posts" link under your name in the left-hand column of any forum page.

Please also read through the Welcome Thread so you can familiarize yourself with our Forum Posting Guidelines. Thank you for your cooperation.

Ann

[rwetoocomplacent]

thank you andy and ann for all of the help you provide here.  hug x2

[rwetoocomplacent]

so i got tested on 3/13/08, at 8 weeks, it came back negative.  i did play around this weekend...making out, some mutual oral and came by jacking off with each other.  i developed a bad cold...muscle aches and low grade fever )100.0).  i can't seem to shake the anxiety.  i don't get sick often at all...i can't remember the last time i had a fever.  i'm scared every time i get sick its ARS or something.  i'm sorry for the burden. ;(

[Morgan]

rwetoo,

The burden is yours, really. 

Using condoms consistently for penetrative sex and testing at the appropriate time after a potential exposure relieves it.

Symptoms mean nothing where hiv is concerned.  Sometimes a cold is just a cold.

Hang in there.

Morgan

[rwetoocomplacent]

all too true, morgan.

r u referring to penetrative sex on the whole? oral and/or anal?

i do use condoms 100% of the time for anal sex. 

[Andy Velez]

RW. penetrative sex means anal (or vaginal) intercourse and nothing else but.

You are worrying needlessly. Really.

[Morgan]

rwetoo,

Not oral.  Vaginal and anal.  Insertive oral is no risk.  Receptive oral is extremely low risk.  Studies of sero-discordant couples which detailed thousands of acts of unprotected oral resulted in no seroconversions of the negative partner.

Morgan

[rwetoocomplacent]

hug x2