SHOULD I TELL MY DOC

[steven6908]

Afternoon

I have tested POZ back in 24th DEC 2007 some Xmas pressie ??, this was a shock to me as i later found out my gf also tested POZ and she didn't tell me, i wondered why she kept asking me to wear condoms, when we were trying for a baby, anyway we were out 1 night both drunk the night in question was her birthday 2nd Oct 07, we got home and had sex without a condom.

I have to add i wasn't that drunk to perform, anyway was away on course related work didn't think anything of that night when i came back this was eaten away at her she told me on the 22nd DEC, in a sense i hate my self as i met a guy on my works night out 21DEC 07 she then told me she was poz, I was devastated, i get to the clinic to get tested and my results came back poz 3wks later

My attitude has changed towards people friends, family etc, i cant seem to focus on things is this has some how over taken my life, i thought i was a strong person, but i must be wrong about myself. I have subsequently spilt from my gf think that i hate her!!!!!

I was out 1 night this was before i new that i may have caught HIV, i met this guy who show some interested in me, i had sex with him all safe, but i then realised that i liked men, but i have always thought this anyway however never acted upon this when i was with my gf, it was always a fantasy in my head. Anyway me and this guy started dating been 3mths but now its gone pear shaped, as i had to tell him that i was HIV, he wont go for HIV testing so i am wondering if he is HIV,

I cant seem to get my head round all this, the least wee thing and i lose the plot i snap at people, i have told my family well sis and mum, they seem to be handling it well but me, i and out drinking when i feel low to the point that i blackout,

I want to be the same person i was before i new about me having HIV but i don't think i will ever be the same person, i am confused so much has happened in a short space of time, i think i should sometime throw the towel in and give up, as i have got to the point that i may never have a relationship again.

Steven

[Miss Philicia]

Uh, first welcome to the board.

However, I'm slightly confused.  What does the thread title "SHOULD I TELL MY DOC" have to do with what you actually wrote in this thread?  Are you telling me that you tested positive in a clinic or something, but haven't yet told your normal doctor of your diagnosis -- which would also indicate that you've not yet obtained the obligatory cd4 and viral load tests post-diagnosis?

Otherwise do what you can to calm yourself down.   Your life will return to (somewhat) normal, but you need to take heed and pay attention to what is now required of you with this new healthcare situation you find yourself in.

(and please don't drink so much that you black out -- that's never fun)

[steven6908]

Sorry this is my 1st time on here, what i am trying to say is  well I have an HIV doctor but they want me to talk to my General Practitioner GP, but i am unsure as am status will be on my medical records i am unsure what to do, I am struggling to deal with this news

[steven6908]

I was told my Viral load count 90,000 and my CD4 count is 460

[keyite]

Hi Steven,

First off, welcome to the forums. I am guessing from some of the language that you are in the UK? (where clinics tend to do HIV care and GPs handle the other typical family doctor type stuff). You might then find this thread of interest:

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=17607.0

As you will be able to gather, there are pros and cons to telling your GP. I doubt there is any need to rush so take your time and make a decision that is right for you in due course.

I know it all seems very confusing right now. The first year is undeniably the hardest. So take some deep breaths and try to handle it a little at a time. As Philly says, life will return to normal, but it might take some time to get there. Things won't be exactly as before but life can still be pretty good.

I'd strongly recommend seeking out support groups in your area for poz people. There are plenty here in London but they are available up and down the country. Perhaps ask at your clinic? It made a huge difference to me to meet other people in the same boat and really eased my transition through that first year.

Hope to hear from you again.

[steven6908]

Am in scotland, i have tried to meet with a buddy, met with 1 person a month ago been trying to get with him again, i just feel that The THT where i stay keep paning me off with excuse after excuse i feel alone here

[BT65]

Steven, welcome to the forums.

What you're feeling is all normal.  We (the people who have been living with this awhile) have all felt lost, angry, bewildered, confused etc.   I would suggest if you're having an unbearable time of it, to try to get into see a therapist.  Your HIV doc should be able to refer you to someone.

Like Philly said, you need to take care of the normal things immediately following a diagnosis i.e. bloodwork, safe sex, giving yourself time to breathe etc.  And drinking to the point of having blackouts is just not a good idea.  Not only will it wear down your physical health, but it will wear down your mental health as well.  Trust me on that one.  If you're having problems stopping, I would suggest looking up AA in your area and getting to a meeting.  Also, you may want to ask your HIV doc about any support groups in your area.  I'm not sure how Scotland does those sorts of things, but there must be something. 

[keyite]

Yes, THT can be a bit slow to get in gear. Persist with them, they do offer some good services.

[27years]

Welcome to the forums, you are at the right place to vent or just air your grievances, we have been through the same feeling if not worse but with time things tend to calm down.  You still have full control of everything, all you need to do is to take one step at a time things will be fine.  Try counsellors at Brownlee Centre in Gartnavel General Hospital if you are anywhere close to it.  I relied on them at some point and found them very helpful.  I will PM you the number if i find it.

[md]

Welcome - I am glad that you found these forums - they are a great resource and I hope that they will be as much help to you as they have been to me.

I am not +ve myself (my partner is) so there are some things that I can't be much help with, but I am Scottish (although no longer living there) so I know the environment that you are in and some of the attitudes that you will probably end up dealing with.

Where abouts are you, if you don't mind me asking? (I grew up in Stirling but spent a lot of time in Edinburgh as well)

[gaz41]

I told my GP , so that he could correspond with my hiv doc if there was anything amiss.  the rest of the surgery doest have to know  its for my own security

[RapidRod]

It's always best to advise your GP. So that when you are on meds he doesn't prescribe other medications to you that will coflict with your HIV treatment.

[Bicepguy]

I recently told my GP (London).  Partially because as Rod says, drug interactions could occur if they dont know but also the climate has changed, inmy opinion.  You can also request they dont disclose or dont even record the HIV status.  Outside London discrimination is still a larger issue.  I've also disclosed during my last job interview, and after a health review there was no issue in joining it or their pension scheme. Several friends have done the same.

There is also a financial aspect that motivates your HIV clinic - they will want you to access general care not related to HIV via your GP.  This will preserve their budget for HIV (and STD if its a GUM) and not spend them on stuff that your GP is funded and charged with delivering care for.

I'd agree with the posts above - don't rush.  Nothing's going to happen soon.  It generally takes several years to coming close to normalising your mental attitude, no easy way to hide that BUT it does get more normal.  You'll learn more. Understand the disease, take control and consult with your doctors, don't sit back and listen, I would say and many others too.  Your Drs will recognise that involvement and enlightened ones will want to incude you in the monitoring and treatment decisions that have to be made.

When I see my GP I can happily rattle of my stats, med history, any issue with what ever I'm seeing them about and dont have a bad reaction or old fashioned "Dr knows" best.