--- Quote from: thunter34 on February 02, 2013, 03:21:51 pm ---Oh, I could have gotten much more graphic with that story. I spared you all. I didn't even get into the aftermath.
It helps, though, to have someone local on here who can appreciate exactly where that location is and what it would be like.
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Oh yes. I know the road, the time of day, and the traffic.
I wish Joe (Killfolie) would come in and tell the broccoli rubber bands-in the grocery store- story. That tale ought to be a sticky on these forums; required reading.
LoboDog:
--- Quote from: thunter34 on February 02, 2013, 03:12:40 pm --- Oh...but you haven't lived til you've had to pull over on the side of Interstate 85 just north of Spagetti Junction - during rush hour - and hoist yourself up to shit into a paper bag in desperation.
You want a lesson in humility? That's one.
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Crapped my pants in a restaurant while I had a broken hip and was trying to get to the bathroom using a walker. My right wing republican brother was meeting my partner of 11 years for the first time at that meal. I think that qualifies as the low point in my life.
Joe K:
--- Quote from: jkinatl2 on February 02, 2013, 04:01:39 pm ---I wish Joe (Killfolie) would come in and tell the broccoli rubber bands-in the grocery store- story. That tale ought to be a sticky on these forums; required reading.
--- End quote ---
JK
With the utmost pleasure, I grant your wish:
--- Quote from: killfoile on January 28, 2008, 12:00:41 pm ---If it was not for laughter, I do not know if I would have survived the last 23 years with HIV. But sometimes, things happen and you can not do anything but laugh at the folly of it all. In that vein I wish to share my second most embarrassing moment ever. I just know that far too many of you will relate to this adventure.
The year was 1995 and I had stopped at the grocery store, on my way home from work, to pick up a few things. I had just started two PIs (Protease Inhibitors) and I was far from adjusted to the new meds and the havoc they caused with my body. So I am shopping and suddenly I get THAT urge. You know the one. The one that says that you have exactly two minutes to get to a bathroom, because that is when you are going to have projectile diarrhea.
Now this was a store I had never been in before, so I had no idea where the bathroom might be, or if they even had one for the public. I start searching frantically, but each step I take only intensified the urge to explode. I realize that detonation is imminent. I am in the produce aisle by now and I look around frantically for something that may help... and that is when I saw my salvation: Asparagus. Well not the asparagus itself but those huge rubber bands that they bunch them with. I quickly grabbed two and closed each pant leg, right above the shoe.
No sooner had I done this and the torrent was unleashed. It was disgusting and I just made a mad dash for the exit and safety of my car. I like to think that I handled it well, until I realized that I was wearing ivory colored pants. I can only imagine what I must have looked like leaving that store, but in a situation like that, what can you do? And that is how I learned to carry a towel, diaper wipes and a full set of clothes in my car at all times.
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Ann:
--- Quote from: Miss Philicia on February 02, 2013, 03:04:01 pm --- ps: Ann and I quarrel all of the time so don't feel guilty :) If she didn't live overseas and didn't insist on still using a rotary phone I would send her nasty text messages hourly.
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Heh. I'm glad to hear you fell for my lie about only having a rotary phone - that way I don't have to delete text messages from you on an hourly basis.
I can't remember the last time I had - or even used - a rotary phone. Probably sometime in the 80s. I don't own a ShartPhone though and probably won't until they come waaay down in price. Rich I ain't. For now my basic Samsung does just fine.
And yes, Lobo, we were only monstering teasing each other.
--- Quote from: killfoile on February 02, 2013, 06:47:16 pm ---JK
With the utmost pleasure, I grant your wish:
--- End quote ---
Joe, I've always admired your inventiveness in that story. They do say, after all, that necessity is the mother of invention and your story certainly proves that point.
I'm lucky in that before I got my hiv-related dire-rear under control, my situation was such that I rarely had to leave the house. My daughter was still living with me and she was old enough to go grocery shopping and take care of other things outside the house. I'd literally be up shit creek without a paddle these days, so thank goodness for codeine.
OneTampa:
If there ever was a Winning With Poo Horatio Alger Award (adult category) for inventiveness and overcoming crappy adversity, y'all should have the sparkling awards encased in your homes.
Thanks for the medical information and personal stories.