Author Topic: Diagnosis--One Year Anniversary (Read 5937 times)

Blixer · « **on:** January 07, 2007, 07:55:17 pm »

Tomorrow is my one year anniversary of my HIV diagnosis (well 52 weeks actually, it was a Monday when I got the call). Looking back it has been quite a year. Eric reminded me of my very first post over at The Body. http://www.thebody.com/cgi-bin/bbs/showflat.php?Cat=&Board=testpos&Number=169298&Forum=All_Forums&Words=3096&Match=Username&Searchpage=22&Limit=25&Old=allposts&Main=169298&Search=true#Post169298

Without making this too long, here are what I think are five things I've learned this year! (Not in any particular order and maybe not even the most significant things I've learned)

1) Life does go on! There was a time early on when I wondered if this was true. There were so many unknowns. I was so unsure of my future. Do I stop planning for retirement? Will I be able to continue to work? When will I get sick? There were lots of concerns and questions. But today... life is relatively back to normal and I'm glad to say I've had a healthy year. I have a good outlook on life.

2) I'm mortal! My diagnosis brought me face to face with the fact that there are some things bigger than I am. I can't just wish away the bad stuff. I never thought it would happen to me. But it did and I now realize that no matter how strong I thought I was, there are things that I have no control over me. And yes, I won't live forever. I'm still counting on retirement and living to a ripe old age despite the HIV though.

3) The meds work! I had hoped to have a longer time before meds, but I was one of those that had to start three months after diagnosis. And it was scary! I didn't know what to expect. But they worked as they were supposed to and my system is handling things in a grand fashion. Tomorrow I go see my ID specialist. What a way to celebrate a one year diagnosis anniversary.

4) There are a lot of great people out there! Maybe I already knew this, but through my diagnosis I've had a co-worker that was so supportive that it almost brought me to tears. My family has been there for me, not judging, but open and supporting. Some of my friends have been a godsend. And then there are all of you here that have helped me through some of the most difficult days! I value the new friendships that I've found.

5) I can put all those pills in the same compartment in the pill box and they get along! And I can pop them all into my mouth at once and swallow them in one gulp (Eric taught me that one).

Thanks to all of your for your support and encouragement. And in this new and second year of my diagnosis I'm hoping to get a better control of my life. I want to travel more, get back into the dating scene, get over the fear of disclosure, and maybe even find someone to share some of the excitement of my life with.

Cliff · « **Reply #1 on:** January 07, 2007, 08:02:29 pm »

Happy anniversary is no good. Not sure what is for HIV. But I'm glad you are in a better space now. You're right, life does go on. Maybe it's more complicated and has more bumps, but it does go on.

Best wishes for Y2.

AlanBama · « **Reply #2 on:** January 07, 2007, 08:07:05 pm »

Cliff is right, "happy anniversary" just somehow doesn't seem right......but congratulations on the 1 year mark David! I am very proud of you.

A geological ice age ago, when I was one year into my diagnosis, I was still pretty much in denial and doing nothing....but I did 'come around' later that same year. Started the AZT monotherapy.....it's a miracle I survived that.

What I mean to say is that it seems that with you being one of our more newly diagnosed folks, you have come so far in such a short time! This is fantastic. The internet is a wonderful thing, isn't it?

hugs,

Alan

J.R.E. · « **Reply #3 on:** January 07, 2007, 08:33:29 pm »

Hello David,

The first year was a tough year for me, of course it was so long ago, hard to remember a lot of things, way back then.

It's unfortunate that you ever had to join us, but I am glad your here. I enjoy reading your posts !

Take care of yourself---------Ray

Life · « **Reply #4 on:** January 07, 2007, 08:38:00 pm »

David, I am just "Happy" to have met you. For me, "Happy Anniversary," is just fine, for a year ago was the MOST unhappy, MOST devistating point in our lives. So with that, from then - - to present day, our lives are "Happier," and it is a marker, thus "Anniversary" is appropriate. Maybe one day we will forget our diagnosis date..... But not yet.

Love

Blixer · « **Reply #5 on:** January 07, 2007, 08:56:21 pm »

Thanks Cliff, yes life has more bumps... this has been a very bumpy year. But I"m moving on to better things.

And Alan, yes I've come a long way, but obviously you have too. We need those of you with some experience to help lead the way for us.

Yes Ray, unfortuante that I had to be here. But I couldn't have found a better group of people. I feel so blessed. Maybe one of these days there will be a gathering that I can go to and actually meet some of you in person.

Eric, what can I say... You were there holding my hand and it was a very unhappy and devastating point in life. It sure does turn things upside down. Maybe I will forget that diagnosis date sometime, but for now it is solidly burned into my memory. Since moving most of my medical care to St. Louis I haven't seen the doctor that brought me the news of my diagnosis. She had been around with me for a long time and was a very very sweet lady. I know it was very difficult for her to deliver the news. A year ago I think she wondered if I really would make it. I got some of the best care from her in those months while trying to get into the ID clinic and get things lined out. She would see me no matter how booked up she was and she even gave me her cell phone number in case I needed anything. I need to go by and tell her "happy anniversay to me."

cubbybear · « **Reply #6 on:** January 08, 2007, 02:23:07 am »

Hey David.

Happy Anniversary I guess. I can relate totally with your 5 points for sure, things that I also discovered over the last 12 months.
Anyway, onward and upwards mate.

Cheers,
Matt

Eldon · « **Reply #7 on:** January 08, 2007, 02:26:41 am »

Hey David,

Happy Anniversary! Remember...you control the virus, it does not control you!

"What can I notice right now that makes me smile?"

skeebo1969 · « **Reply #8 on:** January 08, 2007, 07:47:55 am »

I just want to congradulate you on having attained the mindset you have by your one year anniversary. For that I am happy for you. I hope you attain all your goals you have set forth for youself on your second year, goodluck!

Thomas

poet · « **Reply #9 on:** January 08, 2007, 08:03:49 am »

Hey David. Congratulations on getting around all the curves in the road out there. Your great post made me sad to remind myself and others yet again that all these years later, each time someone tests postive, he or she still has to go through the steps, wondering if this is it, if he or she should pack it up and retire, wondering how to get the meds and then if the meds will work, finding the people and the resources which make the steps possible to get through. It's posts like yours, timed as it is, which, I hope, will give strength and support in real life for the person or persons who tests/test positive today. Best, Win

DanielMark · « **Reply #10 on:** January 08, 2007, 08:44:02 am »

David,

You're doing great! Keep up the good work.

Daniel

aztecan · « **Reply #11 on:** January 08, 2007, 09:12:21 am »

Hey David,
Making it through the first year is an accomplishment. It is indeed a bumpy ride.

Keep up the good work and the positive attitude.

Just so you know, I am glad you are here with us.

HUGS,

Mark

bocker3 · « **Reply #12 on:** January 08, 2007, 09:38:07 am »

Hi David,

I think it's great to "celebrate" anniversaries -- it shows the "newbies" that there is hope. It is applicable to so much -- I remember that in my early days in AA, I would hear people celebrating 1 year sober, 5 yrs, 10 yrs, 20 yrs and think to myself -- Wow -- maybe I can do this, "One day at a time" too. In the blink of an eye -- I celebrated 17 yrs sober last October.
As for my HIV diagnosis -- When I hit my first anniversary last Aug 24th (I doubt that date will ever be "unburned" from my brain), my first thought was -- Wow -- the last 12 months were hard, but no where near as devastating as I had envisioned on my diagnosis day. My life is still very similar to my pre-diagnosis life -- albeit with more pill swallowing and more time in doctor's offices (and of course more time "worrying" about my lab results

)

so -- Congrats on the getting the 1st yr under your belt (it certainly beats the alternative). And kudos for looking back and sharing your learnings.

Hugs!!!!
Mike

Longislander · « **Reply #13 on:** January 08, 2007, 01:24:23 pm »

Happy Aniiversary David. I'm with Eric on the anniversary thing. All the best in year 2!
Paul

Blixer · « **Reply #14 on:** January 09, 2007, 08:42:24 pm »

Thanks again for all the well wishes. To think where I was a year ago and where I am now it is amazing. HIV definately changed my life, but I do think I'm a better person for it. And I have lots of hope. As Eldon said, I'm in control, not the virus. And my results show that.

Thanks Matt, I intend to go onward and upward. I'm not really happy with where I am in my life right now but it isn't because of the HIV. I was just starting to deal with some "issues" when I got my diagnosis. That kind of distracted me from those issues. But now I plan on getting back on track and doing that "upward" thing.

Thomas, thanks for the encouragement. You know that it isn't easy getting that mindset that allows you to focus on the future. At least I don't think about HIV every few minutes now. In looking back, I might have even gone through most of my day today without thinking about it.

And Win, I'm sure there is a process that those of you who have more experience here see over and over. Maybe it is a kind of acceptance type of thing. But hopefully I'm moving along rapidly on that process to where I'll really have my life back and make Year 2 a year of great things for myself.

Thanks Daniel, you have provided much inspiration for me. Just help keep me on track when I stumble.

It sure is a bumpy ride Mark! Not one that I want to recommend to anyone. But either the bumps are becomming smaller or I'm adapting to them.

Thanks for the comment on anniversaries Mike! I think for me the anniversary of my diagnosis isn't a celebrating of the diagnosis but a celebrating of life "in spite of" my diagnosis. I'm here and I think I"m better than I was a year ago.

And Paul, I do plan on making year 2 a great year. Again, I'm so thankful for the support and encouragement of so many of you. Someday maybe I'll get to meet some of you in person.

DanielMark · « **Reply #15 on:** January 10, 2007, 06:45:39 am »

Thanks Daniel, you have provided much inspiration for me. Just help keep me on track when I stumble.

Okay, I'll get the magic wand out of storage.

You've made good progress in the past year David, and that inspires me too!

Daniel

david25luvit · « **Reply #16 on:** January 10, 2007, 07:03:30 am »

From one David to another .... Glad you found your way. And there are worse ways to spend your anniversary..
You could be in a hospital or worse. Focus on the positive and keep a good attitude. I agree HIV does make a
person re-access their lives ( well many do) and for me it was a good thing. There was a time I didn't think I was
going to make it and at the moment the fight is even harder but I take it one day at a time.

Congradulations David.... I'm happy for you! Wishing you many many more such anniversaries and the love and
support you have always given me.

carousel · « **Reply #17 on:** January 10, 2007, 07:29:19 am »

koi1 · « **Reply #18 on:** January 10, 2007, 09:34:06 am »

Happy Anniversary David,

I so happy that you are doing so well. I have not thought too much about the future, just taking it one day at a time, but returning to work is comforting and an indicator of good things to come.

Gongratualations

Rob

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Author Topic: Diagnosis--One Year Anniversary (Read 5937 times)