Broken condom And slight tear on frenulum breve

[paranoidandafraid]

Hello, I recently had my first ever sexual encounter. It was with a female sex worker. I was extremely drunk and was not thinking clearly. We started out with oral sex using a condom, and then moved on to Vaginal sex with the same condom. After a few minutes i felt a pop and pulled out immediately and saw that the condom had broken. I left without finishing and arrived home about 30 minutes later. I scrubbed my penis with soap and water. Then used Betadine, and hydrogen peroxide to sterilize my penis. I went out the next day and received an HIV test using an OraQuick rapid HIV test. My results were negative but i was told to come back in 3 months. My questions are

1. What is the statistical risk from female-male with a broken condom?

2. Are my chances increased by having a small cut on my frenulum that was mostly healed but not 100% ?

3. Does the fact that i am not circumcised increase my chances of infection?

Thank You

[paranoidandafraid]

Additional Information.

I asked the woman i was with if she had been tested recently. She said that she had been tested 2-3 weeks previous and that all tests came up negative. I hope this helps

[Ann]

Paranoid,

You have had a risk, but one very, very much on the low end of the scale. I fully expect you to test hiv negative.

The earliest you should test again is at six weeks. The vast majority of people who have actually been infected will seroconvert and test positive by this time, with the average time to seroconversion being only 22 days. A six week negative must be confirmed at the three month point, but is highly unlikely to change.

1. We don't use those kinds of stats here. What we can tell you is that hiv is much more difficult to transmit from a woman to a man. I've yet to see the insertive partner end up hiv positive over a condom break and I do not expect you to be the first.

2. No.

3. Not all that much. In my opinion, the whole circumcision as prevention thing is highly overrated. I was with an uncut man for a year and a half before we discovered I was hiv positive. We never used condoms during that time, yet he tested hiv negative. We were together for a total of over eight years and he remained hiv negative. We used condoms after my diagnosis, but not before. He's hiv negative to this day.

Here's what you need to know in order to avoid hiv infection:

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together.

To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex without a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

Anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results.

Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv. Some of the other STIs can be present with no obvious symptoms, so the only way to know for sure is to test.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!

Ann

In response to your second post (you posted while I was typing), you can NEVER go by what a person tells you about their hiv status. Many people only think they are hiv negative, and unfortunately, some people will lie. You need to assume anyone you're with is hiv positive and protect yourself accordingly by using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse.

And by the way, a correctly used condom rarely breaks, so make sure you visit the links in my signature line.

[paranoidandafraid]

Thank you Ann for the information and advice. To be honest, I NEVER want to have sex again after this indecent. I was told when i was tested that a follow up test 6 months after the encounter is necessary for conclusive results. Is this true?

[Ann]

Paranoid,

No, the testing window period has been THREE months for years now. I wish more health care professionals would up-date their knowledge.

Three months is conclusive.

Ann

[paranoidandafraid]

I'm starting to crack up inside. I had to leave work today because all i could think about was that stupid, idiotic encounter and how i really don't know what my chances are of contracting the disease with so many mitigating circumstances. i keep making pros and cons lists in my head and the cons always win.

Pros:
The condom was intact for 99% percent of the encounter

The woman said she tested negative

The window for infection was brief

Cons:
 
The encounter was with a African American Female in a city where the rate of infection for A.A.F's is VERY high

The woman may have lied to me about her status

I saw medication bottles on her night stand which might be aids meds.

She be on drugs considering how much she was sluring her words.

I had a cut on my frenulum ( I know i was told that doesn't increase risk but i don't know what Ann's source of information is)

For the most part i'm able to stay optimistic when i'm not at work, but when i am working it's all i can think about. I can't help but be pessimistic on top of dealing with my own clinical depression and anxiety. I don't think i can wait 3-6  months to know whether or not i should kill myself. Are there any test available that are accurate and can be taken early in the infection window period?

[Matty the Damned]

I'm starting to crack up inside. I had to leave work today because all i could think about was that stupid, idiotic encounter and how i really don't know what my chances are of contracting the disease with so many mitigating circumstances. i keep making pros and cons lists in my head and the cons always win.

Pros:
The condom was intact for 99% percent of the encounter

The woman said she tested negative

The window for infection was brief

Cons:
 
The encounter was with a African American Female in a city where the rate of infection for A.A.F's is VERY high

The woman may have lied to me about her status

I saw medication bottles on her night stand which might be aids meds.

She be on drugs considering how much she was sluring her words.

I had a cut on my frenulum ( I know i was told that doesn't increase risk but i don't know what Ann's source of information is)

For the most part i'm able to stay optimistic when i'm not at work, but when i am working it's all i can think about. I can't help but be pessimistic on top of dealing with my own clinical depression and anxiety. I don't think i can wait 3-6  months to know whether or not i should kill myself. Are there any test available that are accurate and can be taken early in the infection window period?

Oh for fuck's sake.

Why don't you dial the dramah back a notch or two?

Ann has already explained to you that you had a very small risk and that whilst you need to be tested you should expect that test to be negative. The cut on your cock makes no difference.

There is no way around the HIV window. It is three months and that's how long you have to wait. It is NOT 6 months. Your 3 month test result will be conclusive.

You can stop with the race stuff and all that other shit right now. The assessments we give here are based on the assumption that the other person was HIV positive. Nothing about a personal's racial background makes them more likely to transmit the virus.

If you're having trouble taking responsibility for your own sexual decisions, see a counsellor.

MtD

[paranoidandafraid]

Matty,

Did i offend you in some way?  All i did was try to provide as much accurate information as i can and give the mods reading this an accurate picture my situation. I'm not asking for a pity party.  I just want verifiable information. I included the information on the woman's ethnicity because i thought is was relevent. Especially because I'm African American and know that the rate of infection is much higher in urban areas like the one i live in. I'm scared for my life Matty, i watched my cousin wither and die because of his infection and i don't want the same.

[Matty the Damned]

Matty,

Did i offend you in some way?  All i did was try to provide as much accurate information as i can and give the mods reading this an accurate picture my situation. I'm not asking for a pity party.  I just want verifiable information. I included the information on the woman's ethnicity because i thought is was relevent. Especially because I'm African American and know that the rate of infection is much higher in urban areas like the one i live in. I'm scared for my life Matty, i watched my cousin wither and die because of his infection and i don't want the same.

If I came across as harsh about the racial issue it is because we so often get people trotting out the race of their partners as evidence of supposed HIV status. The same thing happens with regards to sex workers and transgender people too.

Like I said when we make assessments we always assume the person the questioner had a sexual encounter with is HIV positive. Always. We're aware that HIV is much higher in African American communities but it doesn't make any difference in terms of transmissibility.

We want to make people understand that HIV is not about who people are but what they do.

I appreciate that you're scared but really you're worrying unnecessarily. I have AIDS and I understand how scary this disease is.

MtD

[paranoidandafraid]

I appreciate the clarification Matty. My cousin who died was gayer than the sky is blue and served as a huge role model and father figure to me. If it wasn't for him being their when i was younger i could have turned out bigoted moron like so many of my peers.

[jkinatl2]

As Matty said, you really have no option other than to wait three months and collect what I firmly believe will be a negative test result.

BTW, of the woman WAS on meds for HIV/AIDS then her viral load was probably low enough so that even full on unprotected sex wouldn't infect anyone. Seeing meds should give you relief, not horror.

And please, don't talk about killing yourself. It's a sad thing that happened to your cousin. I posit that were he to be infected today, there would be no withering, no dying. Speaking as someone who has seen the pandemic from the beginning, I can tell you that HIV bears NO resemblance in the USA to what it looked like twenty years ago, or even ten or five.

Besides, if be some freakish fluke of nature you do test positive over this or any encounter, it would do a disservice to your cousin's memory and his status as your role model for you to kill yourself over what is not essentially a chronic but manageable disease.

[Ann]

Paranoid,

While it's refreshing to hear a young straight man hold a gay family member up as a role model and father-figure, it's not refreshing to hear you speak of killing yourself if you end up poz.

Yes, the mortality rate in your demographic may be unacceptably high, but a lot of that has to do with the fact that the stigma surrounding hiv is all but paralyzing your demographic as well. This stops people from accessing treatment in a timely fashion. I would hope that you wouldn't let the stigma stop you, knowing what I know about your un-bigoted outlook.

I still fully expect you to test hiv negative.

Ann

[paranoidandafraid]

I've been experiencing a strange tingling sensation from my penis for the past 5 or so days. I woke up this morning to find the sensation had turned to a slight stinging one, and that my urine had a slight reddish hue. When i went to wipe my penis on a piece of toilet paper, the paper turned slightly red. I'm in full blown panic mode. I'm attempting to schedule a doctors appointment now but the earliest i'm told i'll be able to be seen is tomorrow. I'm on the verge of tears right now. I know i was std free before the encounter. If i contracted a std like chlamydia or gonorrhea from a woman who was for the sake of argument hiv positive, does that increase my chances of getting hiv?

[jkinatl2]

I've been experiencing a strange tingling sensation from my penis for the past 5 or so days. I woke up this morning to find the sensation had turned to a slight stinging one, and that my urine had a slight reddish hue. When i went to wipe my penis on a piece of toilet paper, the paper turned slightly red. I'm in full blown panic mode. I'm attempting to schedule a doctors appointment now but the earliest i'm told i'll be able to be seen is tomorrow. I'm on the verge of tears right now. I know i was std free before the encounter. If i contracted a std like chlamydia or gonorrhea from a woman who was for the sake of argument hiv positive, does that increase my chances of getting hiv?

Contracting another STD does NOT increase your chances of getting HIV. HIV does not, despite some myths, piggyback on other pathogens. Gonorrhea and chlamydia, btw, are WAY more robust and infectious than HIV.

[paranoidandafraid]

Quick update: Since Monday the tingling discomfort I've felt in my penis has all but disappeared. I've been checking my urine constantly for signs of blood and discoloration and i have not had any since the one time on Monday. The only other additional symptom I've had is the feeling that my urethra is opening and closing immediately after urinating lasting around 10 seconds. I have experienced no symptoms since Friday afternoon. Is it possible that i just have a uti or am i still getting common side effects from a possible std?

[jkinatl2]

Quick update: Since Monday the tingling discomfort I've felt in my penis has all but disappeared. I've been checking my urine constantly for signs of blood and discoloration and i have not had any since the one time on Monday. The only other additional symptom I've had is the feeling that my urethra is opening and closing immediately after urinating lasting around 10 seconds. I have experienced no symptoms since Friday afternoon. Is it possible that i just have a uti or am i still getting common side effects from a possible std?

Who knows? The mind is a powerful thing. If you were to be tested today for gonorrhea and chlamydia, you would know. Syphilis and HIV share the same three month window, however.

[paranoidandafraid]

Are the symptoms of Gonorrhea and chlamydia know to just stop after a few days without treatment? I'm planning on seeing a doctor in about 2 weeks ( I want to do it sooner but i don't have the money to do so. I'm currently waiting for the local clinic doctor to come back from a vacation.)

[jkinatl2]

Are the symptoms of Gonorrhea and chlamydia know to just stop after a few days without treatment? I'm planning on seeing a doctor in about 2 weeks ( I want to do it sooner but i don't have the money to do so. I'm currently waiting for the local clinic doctor to come back from a vacation.)

Given time, the effects of both diseases can stop. The body usually recovers on it's own from them - albeit with the chance of lasting, permanent impact (sterility, heart damage.)

Are there no public health clinics you can go to? They are seriously affordable, often free.

[paranoidandafraid]

There are only 2 clinics in my area. 1 of which has very strict rules about when tests can be performed and on whom. The only day when a straight male can come in to be tested is on a sunday, during a time period when I'm working. Basically i'm stuck waiting till the doctor at clinic number 2 comes back.

[jkinatl2]

There are only 2 clinics in my area. 1 of which has very strict rules about when tests can be performed and on whom. The only day when a straight male can come in to be tested is on a sunday, during a time period when I'm working. Basically i'm stuck waiting till the doctor at clinic number 2 comes back.

Really? A straight male has, last time I checked, the same anatomy as a gay male. If the clinic really does discriminate like that, I'd take a long drive to a clinic that will not discriminate based on sexual orientation.

[paranoidandafraid]

Greetings

It's been approximately 3 months since my possible exposure H.I.V. (3 days shy to be exact) I was wondering if taking the test a few days before the full 3 month period would affect the validity of the test? I also wanted to know if the testing medium the "OraQuick Rapid HIV-1 Antibody Test" is as reliable in preventing false positives, and false negatives as the manufacturer claims?

[Ann]

Paranoid,

Three days aren't going to make a difference and you're not going to get a false negative at this point. False positives sometimes happen regardless of what test is used, but any positive result must be confirmed with a Western Blot test. A Western Blot test will weed out false positives.

I fully expect you to test negative, and your result will be conclusive. Just go get it done.

Ann

[paranoidandafraid]

3 months ago I went and got myself irresponsibly drunk and had intercourse with a sex worker. I wore a Condom but it tore mid copulation. Upon feeling the "popping" sensation I quickly removed my penis from the situation and stumbled home, passing out on my bed after taking a quick shower. I woke up with a feeling of dread and terror that has stayed with me for the past 3 months. Today I found out that all my fears could be put to rest when my H.I.V. test came back with a conclusive NEGATIVE result. I am filled with an intense combination of joy and relief as well as overt feelings of disgust. I allowed my most basal, and primal instincts control my actions rather than logic and common fricking sense. I consciously put myself in a position of danger to achieve an overrated sensation/ chemical reaction in my brain. Never again! If this incident has taught me anything, its that being irresponsible and and downright negligent in regards to sex could have extremely high consequences in the future. Not only to myself but to my partners as well. I acted like a kid with a fork near a power outlet, curious about the strange ,slanted hole in the wall making all the funny noises. I was lucky enough to survive my encounter, I am not interested or desiring of another.The next time I decide to have sex it will be handled the correct way. Responsibly and tactfully. If I could give some advice to anyone reading this fourm who is my previous position, it would be this. LEARN FROM YOUR MISTAKES. NEVER ALLOW LUST TO RULE OVER LOGIC! Anyhoo I want to thank all of the moderators who took the time to respond to my jittery, poorly written questions. You folks are incredible and without your insights I'm not sure what i would have done without you assistance (probably suicide because deep down, the idea of dying like my cousin terrifies me). Thanks for your time.

[Andy Velez]

You're welcome. Great to get that happy result.

On with your life now.