HIV risk and question about doctor

[brad201]

Hi, Everyone. I have a couple questions:

First, last week I had a guy of unknown status give me a rather long, unprotected bj. We also had some deep french kissing. I noticed after that I had a small cut near the head of my penis. Does that matter? Does it matter that I am uncircumcised and have a large penis? I know in general receiving a bj is considered low risk so I just wanted to know if it is still low risk given those mitigating factors. Also, about 5-6 days after receiving this unprotected oral, I have come down with a sore throat and stuffy nose and swollen lymph nodes in my neck.

So, is this still considered very low risk? Even if that guy has lots of partners?

My last 2 questions: I plan to go out of the country on business in May. If my last encounter was on Feb 21 or 22 and I test before I leave in May (around 2nd week), would my test be pretty conclusive at that point? I'd rather test in the USA so if I do need a doctor.

Finally--does anyone know where to find a gay friendly doctor? I have done a google search and found a couple links where you can type in a zip code and check. However, no matter which link I go to, I put in my zip and tell it to check a 25, 50, 75, even 100 mile radius and it always returns with no results found. Does anyone else know of any good sites where I may be able to find a gay friendly doc. He/she doesn't have to be gay himself/herself, but I just want someone who is gay friendly. I'm in a very anti-gay part of the country and wish I could find a doctor I could be open and honest with.

So, those are basically my questions: Do I have a risk by receiving unprotected oral given that I am uncircumcised and had a small cut near the head and then got symptoms later of fatigue, sore throat, swollen lymph nodes in neck? Or do you think it's still no risk and that I just got a cold?

If I test in the 2nd week of May, would that be long enough to have a fairly conclusive test result given my encounter was around Feb 21?

Finally, anyone know where I can search for a gay friendly doc?

Thanks so much!

[Andy Velez]

Brad, take a breath,man. You are worrying completely unnecesarily about HIV in relation to having gotten a blowjob. It's one of the most common of sexual activities and no matter what details are thrown into the mix, in the entire history of epidemic there has never been even one confirmed case of transmission to a guy through his having gotten a blowjob. You are not going to make history by becoming the first.

There is no need for testing. As for your symptoms, discuss them with your doctor. They have nothing to do with HIV. Just get on with your life.

Remember that the only confirmed risks for the sexual transmission of HIV are unprotected vaginal and anal intercourse. As long as condoms are always properly used for those activities you will be well protected.

Other STDs are easier to acquire so we do advise anyone who is regularly active sexually to have a full STD panel done at least annually.

This time you're good to go. 

[brad201]

There is no need for testing. As for your symptoms, discuss them with your doctor. They have nothing to do with HIV. Just get on with your life.

I can't discuss them with my doctor because I don't have one, which was another part of my question. Thanks for your response, though. I do appreciate it.

[Ann]

Brad,

As you have discovered, "gay friendly" doctors don't always advertise as such, particularly in certain areas where it may lose them some of their small-minded patient base. They have to make a living too.

Possible courses of action include asking other LGBT you may know, asking at a local LGBT organisation, or even asking at a local ASO (aids service organisation). You can find an ASO near you by putting your zip code into our Health Services Directory.

Sometimes you have to doctor-shop. Your first meeting with any doctor should be a case of you interviewing him/her for the job of taking care of your health. If you're not happy with them, or if they prove to be homophobic, move on to the next interview with another doctor. Sometimes these initial interviews can be done over the phone, with a subtle or even not-so-subtle sounding them out about gay issues.

At the end of the day, you don't necessarily need a gay friendly doctor to investigate the symptoms you're currently dealing with. They're common symptoms that can have many causes. Keep in mind that it's still cold and flu season.

One thing we can rule out - unless you've been having unprotected anal or vaginal intercourse you neglected to tell us about - is hiv. Getting a blowjob is NOT a risk for hiv infection regardless of whatever details you can think of to add. Not only is saliva not infectious, but it also contains over a dozen different proteins and enzymes that damage hiv and render it unable to infect.

Here's what you need to know in order to avoid hiv infection:

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together.

To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex without a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

ALTHOUGH YOU DO NOT NEED TO TEST FOR HIV SPECIFICALLY OVER A BLOWJOB, anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results.

Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv. Some of the other STIs can be present with no obvious symptoms, so the only way to know for sure is to test.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!

Ann

[brad201]

Thanks for the responses. I guess I freaked out when I found out how many partners this guy had in the past, along with noticing the cut on my penis. Then, I got sick around 5 or 6 days later and my lymph nodes are definitely swollen. But it must be a bad cold. I'll admit I have anxiety and OCD issues so that's probably what really caused the fear.

In any event, thank you and I plan to send in a donation as a token of appreciation. I want to be anonymous so I'll send in a US Postal money order. Thanks again for your responses. 

[Ann]

I guess I freaked out when I found out how many partners this guy had in the past

You need to realise that a person doesn't have to be promiscuous in order to become infected with hiv. Sometimes people become infected from a partner with whom they have been faithful. Some people have been infected after only ever having one partner in their entire lives.

It's not people who are high or low or no risk, it's ACTIVITIES that are high or low or no risk. It doesn't matter how many other partners your sexual partner has had during their life, what matters is that you use condoms correctly and consistently. It's not WHO you do, it's HOW you do it. Remember that.

Again, in your case, you absolutely did NOT have a risk for hiv infection, regardless of how many other people this guy had been with in his life. Getting a blowjob is NOT a risk for hiv infection, no matter how you look at it. Not one person has ever been infected through getting blown and you're not going to be the first.

If you want to make a donation, the easiest way would be to follow the instructions found in this thread. And thank you.

Ann