POZ Community Forums
Meds, Mind, Body & Benefits => Mental Health & HIV => Topic started by: wherehope on March 02, 2012, 12:37:10 pm
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Dear All:
I am new and 33 years old, and got infected in this year. I have been suffering lots of symptoms: night sweat, sleep disturbance (can only sleep 1-2 hours each night), rash, muscle pains, gum bleeding, etc, I am feeling dying. I have not been on any medicines yet,will the medicine help eliminate the physical pains? More severely my mental state is really very bad, I felt that all my hopes are gone: 1) my graduate degree at the last year; 2) my engineering research career that I loved with my full-time job and I worked very hard; and 3) my future family and kids (I am straight and single). I have full of suicidal thinking in the past one and half months. I was a very happy person, with successful life and career, and beautiful dreams, but one accident destroyed all my future. I look for your help, based on your experience is it still possible that I can continue my goals and how life is going to be? With all my goals killed while suffering so many painful symptoms, I would choose to die. I only concern that my parents wouldn't live if I choose to leave, I am the only son of them and they have put so many hopes on me... :( :( :(
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What are your numbers? Kind of rule of thumb is meds boost your immune system and the body will rebound. Then you'll feel better. Are you currently seeing a dr? Look lose the suicidal thoughts right now. Do you know how many people would trade places with you ? A lot! Get on meds if you need. Get with a dr and this will be a chronic treatable condition. Don't beat yourself up, your still awesome, your still a success! We are fortunate that treatment has come along way compared to the early years, perhaps too the cure is on the horizon. If you need me pm me
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Thank you, how to pm you? I need to talk to people and get more educated.. :(
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Welcome to the forums wherehope
You will be able to PM after you post one more time (the system is set up to only turn on the PM function after 3 posts)
But, rather than PM'ing specific questions you might also try the lessons on this site. They are laid out in a very easy to follow way and will answer many of your questions plus some that you don't yet know you need to ask.
You can access them through the tabs up above ... or click here
http://www.aidsmeds.com/articles/Introduction_4702.shtml
Best to you
Assurbanipal
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After your third post here, you will be able to PM people. Might I suggest writing an introduction in the "Just Tested Positive" forum? Sometimes people miss reading this particular forum, and there is a world of good advice to be had there.
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thank you.
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I have pm'd you.
Im not going easy on you. Go to a doctor immediately. And read all my posts. I have a diary on how it went for me. I made it through one year and i feel back to normal...and more so. Go today.
Hugs and tough love,
B
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One thing, wherehope : you say you have been infected this year, but did you receive a clear diagnosis stating you are HIV+ ? Do you have appointments with a HIV specialist? Did you consider consulting a psychologist for your state of mind?
Hang in there, it will be fine, like I said in the PM.
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Just know that you are not alone in what you're going through. I have felt the same way as you, many, many times. I was diagnosed 4 years ago, and sometimes I still get depressed about it. But I've kept on going. My health is good; the meds are working for me. I often get very tired, and sometimes all I can do is make it to work, and come home and crawl in to bed and watch TV. I find that very dissatisfying, but not every day is like that. I used to attend a support group and that was very helpful. Now I've moved to a different city, and haven't found a support group here. I have, however, found a good therapist and talk to her weekly, but she is on maternity leave right now. I found that most people who don't have HIV don't really get everything we have to go through. They think it's just something you take a pill for and everything is fine, but to me it is a stressful, depressing disease. I take antidepressants and antianxiety medications and pain meds as well. Spirituality is also important in my life. Some days I am so depressed I stay in bed, but there have been fewer days like that than in the past. I have found I have to just keep on going, and I hold on to faith that it will all get better. I've really learned to appreciate the good days. I hope you can find something that helps you in all this. Best wishes for you. Take care. Have hope. Don't give up.