Condom broke during anal sex...am nervous.

[thankyouforyourhelp]

Hi everyone.

I hope all are having a happy and safe holiday weekend.

I am new to this website, and quite frankly, sex in general.  I am a gay guy that's totally new to having sex....first time was a few months ago.

I had anal sex with my boyfriend for the fourth-sixth time yesterday, and when he pulled out, we realized his condom broke.

He did not ejaculate.  He also did not pre-cum.  (He never precums and it also takes him a very long time to ejaculate).

He does not have HIV; he got his test results about a month ago (he is all clean), and was tested in the spring as well (all negative).

But he did have protected sex with a gay man once or twice after those blood results came back negative... (before we started dating)...this guy he had sex with, claims to be HIV negative...but was cheating on his boyfriend (with my yet-to-be-boyfriend) -- I know, I know...sucky and sad scenario.

After the condom broke, my boyfriend and I talked and he reassured me that he is pretty sure he is negative...I also inspected his penis, and there were no sores, no blood, no semen or precum...

I guess what scares me is that this is the first time a condom has broke ever while I was having sex with him (I have always been the bottom); he has been with a lot more guys (I have not) -- but again, he was just tested and is all negative; maybe I am paranoid (always growing up and being taught in sex-ed that a condom breaking is the worst thing that could happen)...

Should I get tested?  I am really all new to this... my b/f said, along with a local HIV center, that there is no point in getting tested now... this happened yesterday, and I should only get tested in about 25-30 days, something called a rapid HIV test.

But what about going to the emergency room and getting a saliva-swab test?  Or going to my doctor or an HIV clinic to get a blood test?  I am not out and do not feel comfortable going to my doctor, so I would need to find a new one...

After typing all of this out, (makes me feel a little better, and I am also thankful to anyone that reads this and responds), I do realize my risk for HIV is low... I am still freaked out about the fact that the condom broke, and that he had protected anal sex (he was the top) with an HIV negative man after getting the test results, but before starting to date me...

Any advice? Do I need to start PEP or something right away? When/how should I get tested? How to prevent a condom from breaking in the future?

Thanks again, I really appreciate the help here...means a lot.

Merry Xmas Eve and Happy Holidays everyone.  Please reply.

[thankyouforyourhelp]

To add, I suppose what really scares me is the guy he was having sex with before we started dating... that guys claims to be clean, and the sex my now-b/f had with him was protected (my b/f was on top)...yet still, I am nervous, being new to sex and having a condom break for the first time, with a b/f that has had sex with a lot of previous people before (but his test coming back negative)...sorry if I am all over the place.

Thank you again everyone for answering my questions and concerns from this and the previous post.

[thankyouforyourhelp]

Okay update... my b/f asked that guy about his HIV status, and he said that he was tested like two weeks ago and that the test came back negative... (and my b/f and i have been together since about a month ago, and he has only had sex with me)...

so that is sort of a relief.... but, perhaps I should still get tested to be sure?

Thanks again... I'm def. new to all of this.

[Andy Velez]

Hi,

Having a condom break during intercourse is a risk, but a low level one. Yes, you should get tested just to be sure. From what you have reported I expect you to test negative.

Although it's understandable when people ask partners about HIV status, you have to think of yourself as responsible for your own health. And that means always assuming the person you are with is HIV+ and use condoms for intercourse.

The only time you can safely dispense with condoms is if and when you and a partner decide to commit to a securely monogamous relationship and both reliably test negative together. Otherwise condoms are a must everytime. No exceptions.

Lastly, using the term "clean" when referring to HIV status is considered rude because it implies that those who have the virus are "dirty." HIV status is about being negative and positive. I am sure you didn't intend to be insensitive so I am just letting you know.

Good luck with your testing. I do expect you will test negative. A negative result is conclusive at 3 months after the risk.   

[thankyouforyourhelp]

Dear Andy,

Thank you for your reply, and the clarification (about the word "clean").  My apologies if I offended anybody, I certainly did not intend to, thank you for educating me.

I will get tested and let you know the outcome, I hope to test negative as well.

Thanks again.

[Andy Velez]

OK, good luck with your test. I expect you to get a happy result.