POZ Community Forums
Main Forums => Pre-HAART Long-Term Survivors => Topic started by: AlanBama on December 01, 2011, 12:20:09 pm
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Today is a sad day for me; a day I choose to remember all those loved ones I have lost to this disease.
I try to be happy and thankful that I am still around to celebrate, and remember. I just don't feel too 'victorious' for some reason...
A lady asked me today why I had on this red ribbon pin -- I said "today is World AIDS Day". She said "Oh, well there's nothing on TV or in the news about it". That says it all, doesn't it?
Anyway, to all my dear fellow Long Term Survivors, Happy World AIDS Day. I am thankful for all of you.
Love, Alan :-*
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Today is a sad day for me
another member and I were just talking about this too, Alan. While I'm here rushing around trying to make sure I have everything together for a big event my ASO is sponsoring tonight (dress reheresal at 4p, program at 8p), all I can really think about is my two late partners and all those friends who are gone.
Sure I'm glad to be alive; but the hole in my life that all that people used to fill is a huge canyon that can never be filled. Most days go by with little thoughts about these missing people and the life we had together. But today when so many are talking about AIDS, testing, money for ADAP etc, all I can really think about are those people that AIDS stole away from me.
as they do at the Renaissance Festival I was at a few weekends ago,
to my fellow LTSers, I say "Huzzah! and Happy World AIDS Day!" :-*
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Thanks Alan :-* I've been cryin my eyes out all morning, I cannot help for feeling guilty for still being alive, looking @ a death Certificate from AUG 95 really put me over the top, but ya know, I'm gonna be ok , and I'm happy I'm still here, someone or somebody has a plain for me, and I'm grateful for that :'( forgive me I'm not doing very well today ???
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I made the mistake of pulling out my old albums and reading obits. Just doesn't seem like a happy day at the moment. Special hugs to my fellow LTS.
Wolfie
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y'all are braver than me. :-* I've only looked at a couple of old pictures. I sure couldn't be looking at whole albums or obits. Not on a day like today when so many are talking about AIDS and remembering the past. My hazy memories are enough to get me down and make me feel sad. (right now the depession/sadness/grief stuff is making me feel like I was hit by a Mack truck)
Quite frankly, I save that serious stuff to look at during May. I figure in that month since I'm already crying about the anniversaries of their deaths, I might as well look at all that stuff and really work myself into a good crying jag. Of course, we all deal with giref differently; but doing it that way for me helps me deal with the grief a lot better throughout the rest of the year (like those 'happy holidays" ::) that are fast approaching).
big hugs from me to you, guys :-*
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It is always a sad day.In 1988 , no not this time its a sad day always a sad day.
love to you all
michael
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:'(
It is a sad day.... It is a day to remember those infected with, those affected by, and those that have been taken from us, due to Aids.
In Sadness and remembrance, of so many friends and acquaintances lost ( but not forgotten)throughout the years
Ray
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I heard a few news pieces on the radio (President Obama) and on TV.
I join everyone else in remembering many loved ones who have passed.
@Leatherman: That analogy about a void as deep and wide as a canyon fits my feelings somethings when I think of family and friends who did not make it.
Best to everyone.
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There is too much pain and sorrow with all the loses, that happiness on this day will never surface. Nor should it. There is always time to lament our losses, no matter how painful, because if nothing else, it reminds us that it still feels great to be alive. And sometimes, I feel that being alive is all I do have left.
Joe
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I took part in two World AIDS Day Commemorations, one yesterday in Gallup, the other tonight in Farmington.
The majority of those at the ceremony in Gallup were Navajo or Zuni. The time frames may differ, and the individual accounts vary, but the feelings were universal.
As they were tonight.
I began feeling a bit morose yesterday, remembering people I had known who were gone.
I agree, this can never be a happy day for me. But, it is a day to remember and to remind myself that I still live and I should relish and be thankful for each day.
I try to remember that, but it gets hard at times.
My best to all my LTS brothers and sisters, for whom I, too, am very grateful.
HUGS,
Mark
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This is a day I embarrass myself. I snap at friends. I tell well meaning people to leave me alone. I drink too much. And I listen to music from the 80s. Maybe it's cathartic. But it happens like clockwork. Sometimes the weight of the past, of these giants, treasured ghosts, is more than I can stand. And I wonder if they are haunting my universe or I am haunting theirs.
That's why we need an LTS forum. I doubt anyone else can grasp that fully.
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It was a tough day for most of us. I chose to stay isolated all day and didn't leave the house. It was the first time in a while I stayed logged in all day just to have close access to you all. I contemplated uncorking a bottle of wine, but why throw gasoline on an open fire?
There isn't a day that I don't think of all my loved ones who are gone, but there are those certain times when it's much more difficult than others. Yesterday being one of them. A day and half of wearing the same Jammies probably dictates that I should shower and dress. I don't have to work today so maybe I'll uncork that bottle for lunch?
Wolfie
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How,s everyone doing ?
Now there,s a brief Gap before dealing with Christmas , Wolfie are you dressed in grown- up clothes ? Well my dear LTS bleeding WAD does at least remind me how much this forum supports me so a great big thank you to you all.
Now its " The Killing " series 2 I am in lust with her new partner,
luv&stuff
mhtv
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How,s everyone doing ?
Now there,s a brief Gap before dealing with Christmas , Wolfie are you dressed in grown- up clothes ? Well my dear LTS bleeding WAD does at least remind me how much this forum supports me so a great big thank you to you all.
Now its " The Killing " series 2 I am in lust with her new partner,
luv&stuff
mhtv
Are Southpark Jammies grown-up? I've had them for years and they're my favs. Finally have that totally comfortable feel to them, holes and all. Plus, they hold a special meaning to me.
The support here has meant so much to me over the last couple of years. I know I have a support structure, but they don't understand. I want/need others who truly comprehend the dynamics of this virus.
Wolfie
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Are Southpark Jammies grown-up? I've had them for years and they're my favs. Finally have that totally comfortable feel to them, holes and all. Plus, they hold a special meaning to me.
The support here has meant so much to me over the last couple of years. I know I have a support structure, but they don't understand. I want/need others who truly comprehend the dynamics of this virus.
Wolfie
[/quote
Somewhere my dear Wolfie, somewhere
luv
mhtv
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I want/need others who truly comprehend the dynamics of this virus.
Wolfie
Every WAD make it mandatory for everyone who's negative to eat and drink only laxatives and Ipecac syrup for the day and wear "I Love Justin Bieber" t-shirts. That should give them a general idea.
GROWLER
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Growler, if you read the opening thread for this section you'd see it is only for those who qualify as Longtime Survivors, that is those who tested positive before HAART in 1996.
Thanks for your cooperation.