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Author Topic: I hate goodbyes.  (Read 6273 times)

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Offline AlanBama

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,670
  • Alabama: the 'other' 3rd World Country!
I hate goodbyes.
« on: March 20, 2007, 08:27:54 pm »
Tomorrow, I will be driving to Atlanta to say goodbye to my doctor of over 18 years.   This man has saved my life on more than one occasion...sure, it was almost 10 years ago, but that is the kind of thing one does not easily forget.

Of course, in our years together, he has made me mad more than once or twice...but all in all, I'd say we have had an excellent relationship.   Those of you who know me know how emotional I can get, so I'm a little nervous about the whole thing.   I will be poking an extra handkerchief or two in my pocket, just in case.

As the song says:  "Love is rare... life is strange....nothing lasts, people change....."

I'm very sad tonight about it all.   Wish me luck, y'all.

Alan   :'(
"Remember my sentimental friend that a heart is not judged by how much you love, but by how much you are loved by others." - The Wizard of Oz

Offline Longislander

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,489
Re: I hate goodbyes.
« Reply #1 on: March 20, 2007, 08:31:05 pm »
well, good luck Alan. I know this isn't what you want to be doing so I won't say how it'll all be fine with the new doc. Goodbyes suck sometimes!

Is this a last appt? Or are you just dropping in to say goodbye? Maybe a nice card with all you want to say will be a good back-up in case you get all choked up?~
infected 10/05 diagnosed 12-05
2/06   379/57000                    6/07 372/30500 25%   4/09 640/U/32% 
5/06   ?? /37000                     8/07 491/55000/24%    9/09 913/U/39%
8/06   349/9500 25%              11/07 515/68000/24     2/10 845/U/38%
9/06   507/16,000 30% !          2/08  516/116k/22%    7/10 906/80/39%
12/06 398/29000 26%             Start Atripla 3/08
3/07   402/80,000 29%            4/08  485/undet!/27
4/07   507/35,000 25%            7/08 625/UD/34%
                                                 11/08 684/U/36%

Offline tigger2376

  • Member
  • Posts: 462
  • too bad to die youngish!
Re: I hate goodbyes.
« Reply #2 on: March 20, 2007, 08:31:49 pm »
Good luck, drive carefully, and I hope you find someone as good
Will be thinking of you
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
I know i'm going to enjoy the party in the afterlife, but do you all mind that I'm going to be VERY late!!!

Offline Bucko

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,947
  • You need a shine, missy!
Re: I hate goodbyes.
« Reply #3 on: March 20, 2007, 08:38:41 pm »
Alan-

I loathe good byes and am terrible at them.

I'd say it's unfair, but what the hell's fair about any of this anyways?

/hugs, my friend, big hugs/
Brent
(Who loves Alan very much)
Blessed with brains, talent and gorgeous tits.

Blathering on AIDSmeds since 2005, provocative from birth

Offline J.R.E.

  • Member
  • Posts: 8,207
  • Positive since 1985, joined forums 12/03
Re: I hate goodbyes.
« Reply #4 on: March 20, 2007, 08:43:21 pm »
Hello Alan,

I think that after 18 years, and all that you've been through, I would be packing en extra hanky also. It's going to be an emotional visit. Have a safe trip, give your doctor a big ole hug, or two...

I would be emotional too. Hang in there....


Take care of yourself-----Ray
Current Meds ; Viramune / Epzicom Eliquis, Diltiazem. Pravastatin 80mg, Ezetimibe. UPDATED 2/18/24
 Tested positive in 1985,.. In October of 2003, My t-cell count was 16, Viral load was over 500,000, Percentage at that time was 5%. I started on  HAART on October 24th, 2003.

 UPDATED: As of April, 2nd 2024,Viral load Undetectable.
CD 4 @593 /  CD4 % @ 18 %

Lymphocytes,total-3305 (within range)

cd4/cd8 ratio -0.31

cd8 %-57

72 YEARS YOUNG

Offline purplerain

  • Member
  • Posts: 100
  • finally figured out the pic thing
Re: I hate goodbyes.
« Reply #5 on: March 20, 2007, 09:07:07 pm »
I'm not crazy about goodbyes either so I feel your pain.  I hope things go as smooth as possible and I wish U nothing but the best. 
Jag

Offline budndallastx

  • Member
  • Posts: 463
Re: I hate goodbyes.
« Reply #6 on: March 20, 2007, 09:12:14 pm »
Perhaps it's more "so long until we meet again... ?"  Good-byes are final and somehow I think everyone meets again somewhere else ..
Meds since: 11/20/2006
Sustiva / Truvada
12/08/2008 VL:<48 CD4 622 (38%)   
9/8/2008 VL:<48 CD4 573 (30%)
5/2008 VL:<48 CD4 464 (30%)
1/2008  VL: <50  CD4 425(28%)
9/2007   VL: <50  CD4 465 (27%)
6/2007   VL: <50   CD4 443 (26%)
3/2007  VL: <50   CD4 385 (25%)
12/2006 - VL: <50   CD4: 384 (25%)
11/2006 - VL:  22K  CD4: 208 (18%)

Offline lovingwife

  • Member
  • Posts: 13
Re: I hate goodbyes.
« Reply #7 on: March 20, 2007, 09:16:40 pm »
Hi Alan,

I'm new to the forum, but just wanted to wish you a safe trip. Let us know how everything goes and look at all the support you have here! Lots of love for you going around.

Hugs from your southern neighbor!

The tragedy of life is not that it ends so soon, but that we wait so long to begin it.

Offline anniebc

  • Member
  • Posts: 6,185
  • AM member since 2003
Re: I hate goodbyes.
« Reply #8 on: March 20, 2007, 09:51:12 pm »
Dearest Alan

I know how you feel, I will be saying goodbye to mine next month..my first and only ID Doc in NZ.

I will be thinking of you so drive safe.

Hugs
Jan :-*

*Modified to add*...great to see the avatar back..I've missed it.
« Last Edit: March 20, 2007, 09:52:51 pm by anniebc »
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Never knock on deaths door..ring the bell and run..he really hates that.

Offline bravebuddharich

  • Member
  • Posts: 179
Re: I hate goodbyes.
« Reply #9 on: March 20, 2007, 10:07:34 pm »
Good luck with your goodbye visit - we who have good doctors are so lucky! I can relate to getting mad at my doctor, yet appreciating him, too. Be sure to say thank you!! (:

Metta,
Rich

Offline Teresa

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,755
Re: I hate goodbyes.
« Reply #10 on: March 20, 2007, 10:21:03 pm »
I had to give up my Dr that I had for over 20 yrs. So i know how ya feel. :-\

Drive safe.

Hugs
Teresa
Hubby HIV+ 5/5/06
CD4:320
  %: 26.7
 VL: <20
Atripla (started it 8/24/06)

Offline Life

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,389
  • Member 2005
Re: I hate goodbyes.
« Reply #11 on: March 20, 2007, 11:43:17 pm »
Alan, let the tears fly and the hugs flourish... Take your camera, a hanky, the rest will just happen...   We think we will have them forever, but they have their lives to (I guess)...  I am sure he is going to give you a fine recomendation on who he would like you to partner with for your continued future..

Love

Eric

Offline cjc

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,011
  • Sweet Girl
Re: I hate goodbyes.
« Reply #12 on: March 20, 2007, 11:48:04 pm »
Sorry you have to do this. Goodbyes are hard.  I hope you will find another just as good and I bet you could find a great card for him. Best wishes.  Cristy

Offline DanielMark

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,475
Re: I hate goodbyes.
« Reply #13 on: March 21, 2007, 04:30:22 am »
A prayer for strength for you today, Alan.

Daniel
MEDS: REYATAZ & KIVEXA (SINCE AUG 2008)

MAY 2000 LAB RESULTS: CD4 678
VL STILL UNDETECTABLE

DIAGNOSED IN 1988

Offline koi1

  • Member
  • Posts: 713
Re: I hate goodbyes.
« Reply #14 on: March 21, 2007, 08:58:26 am »
Dear Alan,

It is always sad to say good bye to anyone that has brought so much good in our lives. I hope you will remember the good times and think how lucky you are that he was your doctor for such a long time. In the world of HMOs it is rare that any of us will have that opportunity. My docs change so I never really get close to them. I am hoping my current doc will be around for a while. She is this really cool lady from India that took me on when she did not have to, and I am truly greatful for the sincere care she has shown me.

rob
diagnosed on 11/20/06 viral load 23,000  cd4 97    8%
01/04/07 six weeks after diagnosis vl 53,000 cd4 cd4 70    6%
Began sustiva truvada 01/04/07
newest labs  drawn on 01/15/07  vl 1,100    cd4 119    7%
Drawn 02/10/07
cd4=160 viral load= 131 percentage= 8%
New labs 3/10/07 (two months on sustiva truvada
cd4 count 292  percentage 14 viral load undetectable

Offline thunter34

  • Member
  • Posts: 7,374
  • His name is Carl.
Re: I hate goodbyes.
« Reply #15 on: March 21, 2007, 09:01:34 am »
Dang!  I wish I had looked at this last night!  I would have loved to have met up with you while you were in Atlanta.  Ya know...a hello to counter your goodbye a little bit.

I'll be thinking of you.
AIDS isn't for sissies.

Offline aztecan

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,530
  • 36 years positive, 64 years a pain in the butt
Re: I hate goodbyes.
« Reply #16 on: March 21, 2007, 09:41:52 am »
Alan,

I hope today went as smoothly as possible. I'll be thinking of you.

BIG HUGS,

Mark
"May your life preach more loudly than your lips."
~ William Ellery Channing (Unitarian Minister)

Offline bear60

  • Member
  • Posts: 4,105
Re: I hate goodbyes.
« Reply #17 on: March 21, 2007, 09:43:01 am »
Alan
I first thought the doctor was dying.  But...duh.... thats because my (our) doctor from 1989 did in fact die of AIDS.   So be glad your doctor is just saying "au revoir"..... you know.  You can still exchange christmas cards! Emails...whatever.
Poz Bear Type in Philadelphia

Offline RAB

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,895
  • Joined March 2003
Re: I hate goodbyes.
« Reply #18 on: March 21, 2007, 09:54:25 am »
Alan

I understand exactly why this will be emotional for you.  The respect and bond you have with this doctor is something that was built over that 18 year history.  Moving on and making a change like this is never easy in itself, when coupled with the length of time you two have worked together, it becomes much harder.

I'm thinking of you this morning and hope that the visit today wasn't just bitter-sweet but was also a chance to reflect on how far you have come and how much you have overcome.

You're a special man to so many, myself included.

Love ya buddy

RAB

Offline Andy Velez

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 34,126
Re: I hate goodbyes.
« Reply #19 on: March 21, 2007, 10:43:27 am »
Alan, it sounds like you had a wonderful relationship with your doctor. So of course it makes sense that you're sad and emotional about it.

I'm reminded of a beautiful Harold Arlen/Truman Capote song (from HOUSE OF FLOWERS), "Don't Like Goodbyes."

You're a wonderful guy with a very big heart which we are fortunate to be the beneficiaries of here all the time.

Big hugs, buddy,

Andy Velez

Offline AlanBama

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,670
  • Alabama: the 'other' 3rd World Country!
Re: I hate goodbyes.
« Reply #20 on: March 21, 2007, 10:19:31 pm »
Thanks for all the support, gang.

I made it there and back safe and sound.   I think I handled myself very well, I was quite professional about it all, and in fact, didn't shed one tear.....well, until I got out the door that is.   Then I cried for about 30 minutes....

I hope he liked the card I got for him.....did his name nicely in calligraphy on the envelope.   Anyway, another chapter in my life closes.....but that means another begins because my story is not finished yet!

Hugs,
Alan
"Remember my sentimental friend that a heart is not judged by how much you love, but by how much you are loved by others." - The Wizard of Oz

Offline Robert

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,658
Re: I hate goodbyes.
« Reply #21 on: March 21, 2007, 11:45:00 pm »
hurry up with the next chapter!!!  I can't help it.  I just love your book!

robert
..........

Offline Jeffreyj

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,403
Re: I hate goodbyes.
« Reply #22 on: March 22, 2007, 12:12:00 am »
Alan,
Sometimes good things can come with change. It can be hard though. Best of luck!

The only constant in life is change.
Positive since 1985

Offline Andy Velez

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 34,126
Re: I hate goodbyes.
« Reply #23 on: March 22, 2007, 12:27:37 pm »
Well done, Alan. Waiting to hear what the new doc is like and how that goes.

Cheers,
Andy Velez

 


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