Dating thread part XXX - damned if you do, damned if you don't

[Ann]

I managed to lock the other thread before it hit two pages.

Named this one in honour of Queen. Me too, if I'm honest. It's been one of those weeks.

Ann


Part I:       http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=12526.0
Part II:      http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=13850.0
Part III:     http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=14375.0
Part IV:     http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=14848.0
Part V:      http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=15148.0
Part VI:     http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=15558.0
Part VII:    http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=15951.0
Part VIII:   http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=16271.0
Part IX:     http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=16637.0
Part X:      http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=16913.0
Part XI:     http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=17115.0
Part XII:    http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=17324.0
Part XIII:   http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=17723.0
Part XIV:   http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=17900.0
Part XV:   http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=18150.0

Part XVI:   http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=18329.0
Part XVII:  http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=18596.0
Part XVIII: http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=18828.0
Part XIX:   http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=19011.0
Part XX:    http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=19193.0
Part XXI:   http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=19305.0
Part XXII:  http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=19454.0
Part XXIII: http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=19562.0
Part XXIV: http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=19697.0
Part XXV:  http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=19838.0
Part XXVI: http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=19957.0
Part XXVI: http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=19957.0
Part XXVIII: http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=20078.0
Part XXVIIII http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=20220.0

[Snowangel]

Thanks, Ann!  Hope things get better on the rock!

Ten- If you had 30 million zim dollars it would be 50 US cents!!! :oThat is ridiculous.  I hope things change over there soon.  I hadn't heard about the polygamist over there but I rarely get to watch the news or read the paper.  I wouldn't want to do it but if adults want to do with no kids involved, what the hey!

Wish- I don't think you should retaliate but you do need to do something.  He obviously is not thinking about you or the kids.  Its common sense, if you lost your job over what he did, you would have to struggle to take care of the kids so obviously something needs to be done so that he doesn't do anything like that again.  Do you have a court order for child support?  To be honest with you, I would rather my son not have any contact with his father at all and not get the 50 bucks a week the court gave me.  Don't get me wrong the money does help, but he is a shitty person.  It is a hard situation you are in, just try to do what is best for you and the kiddos.

Hi Sun-  Good luck with the Fockers!!

Queen- I am sorry things have not been going well lately.  I know you don't want to hear any corny shit but it will get better.  It might not happen the way you want it to, but it will happen.  As Betty says, Trust.

Betty- You must feel good that you got your report done.  I think I would have to replace my keyboard after typing about that subject, I would be so mad and sad at the same time.  I can totally see your point about having a better relationship with a women, I've never done it myself but I have thought about it.  Actually, I think if the relationship I am in doesn't work out ,I am just not going to go there anymore.  I am  so sick and tired of dealing with other peoples shit ,I don't know what to do.  I feel like I have been alone for the last decade, I mights well be physically alone.  I rather be selfish for a while and think about just me and the kids.

Win- How's the old man you take care of doing?  Driving you crazy yet? I went to a ladys house yesterday to rake her yard and cut a limb down off of one of her trees, she is 93 and lives alone.  I can't even imagine.

Drag-Hi ! Hope you are doing well!

Hi Viv- Good luck at your doc appt.

Hi Keeping-

I am totally having a brain fart this morning I can't remember everyones names, I think I need to go back to bed.  I am trying my hardest not to get into a funk.  There is always so much to do and no time, money or energy to do it.

Mum- I hope you are back to 100%

Hello and Hi to everyone else

[Queen Tokelove]

Ann--- Thanks, because that is just how I feel.

Snow-- I don't consider what you say to be corny at all. I use to try to be optimistic but with what has been happening with me lately, it's gone. I have become jaded and a bit bitter. It would be nice if something would give but it doesn't seem like it's going to happen. I feel like I am being tortured for some reason and I really don't understand why. Not a Christian but I try to live my life as righteous as possible. I'm not out here doing scandalous shit, I keep to myself and even help people when I can even though I don't have much myself. But I am honestly  at my wit's end and I feel like I am about to snap. I consider myself to be a strong woman but damn, how much shit am I suppose to take, ya know?

Keeping-- I thought your avy was a Meez. What are you trying to make it do? Maybe I can be of assistance. I like it because it is different and allows me to do different things. It's fun to me.

[wishful]

Hey ladies...Thanks for the comps on my avy pic..
Thanks for everyones input on the babydaddy drama..i appreciate it. I wrote a letter of complaint against him to his job, which happens to be a police department..I am going to send it off today. Enough is enough and he is not goin to just keep kicking me down like a dog for nothing. Im tired. Its been 8+ years now...I dont care if he doesnt see the kids anymore..thats his loss and yes the child support order is in the works..I had one before but he convinced me to take it off telling me it was hindering him from getting a law enforcement job..so i did..but he still had to pay arrears, which he was trying to get me to write to the judge to waive that..but i didnt..So I went down to the courthouse about 2 or 3 weeks ago now with all his new information so they can get the ball rolling again...One of his ex's that i talk to told me he called his neice (her friend) and told her i was crazy and not to give me his new number...I dont even talk to his neice..i dont even know her..i told his ex he was just trying to see if she had told the neice anything, trying to get info..

My car is acting up something terrible...i have to get it fixed this weekend..it feels like its gonna cut off when i brake at a light...uugghhh..more money i dont have!!!! Im so lucky for the man i have in my life, he helps me out so much...

Ann hit this nail right on the head for sure..............

[netta]

QUEEN - I  just lost every word of a reply i had for u!! OH Fuck!! Well I was going to tell you to do something  nice for yourself today. It doesn't have to cost money, fix your favorite food, take a long buble bath. Also repeating the Serenity Prayer,helps me, sometimes I repeat it over and over. Write down how you feel about shit, then write a list of what YOU want, Don't give up your dreams, they can come true, just have a little faith,a mustardseed is what the bible says is all we need. Lastly write a letter to someone who has hurt you ,and say exactly how you feel, but don't send it. I know this might not make any sence, but belive me it works on making y0u feel better. I even cut out pictures in magazines of things I want and hang them on my wall to get a visual, I go window shopping online for cars, walmart etc!!!I know this sounds crazy but it gives me something positive to do.Just remember tomorrow is another day and it gets worse before it gets better, count ur blessings, much luv  netta.
To My other sisters, a shout out you all . wishing you all the best.
ANN- thanks for this thread.
TENDAI- I am praying for you, i wish I had the money to move you here to the united states if thats what u wanted.

[Winiroo]

Win- How's the old man you take care of doing?  Driving you crazy yet? I went to a ladys house yesterday to rake her yard and cut a limb down off of one of her trees, she is 93 and lives alone.  I can't even imagine.

He's the same as always. He drives me crazy nearly everyday. But I'm sure I drive him nuts too. I try not to take any of his foolishness personally. He cant help it. His frontal lobe does not work. <the front of your brain, the part behind your forehead>

The frontal lobe is involved in motor function, problem solving, spontaneity, memory, language, initiation, judgement, impulse control, and social and sexual behavior.

So basically he is kinda like a giant 9 year old boy with the sexuality and potty mouth of a 16 year old boy.
He does and says what ever comes to mind and doesn't give a damn about consequences.

He compulsively puts things in what ever place he seems to think it belongs and will straighten any item you might slightly move. Its an OCD thing. He has to be bullied into taking a shower or brushing his teeth. If you don't put out clean clothes he will wear the same clothes until they fall off his body. He likes everything to be routine. If you change up any event in the day it messes with him.
He takes his pills in a particular order, he does his blood sugar in a specific spot and in a specific manor. Those are examples.
Everyday he asks me the same questions and talks about the same things. Very rarely do I get new material from him.




What is a Meez?

[keepingfaith]

. What are you trying to make it do? Maybe I can be of assistance. I like it because it is different and allows me to do different things. It's fun to me.


Queen I was trying to make it dance like the one you have on the bottom of your page. I have alot of meez built but I cant see them animated on here.

[BT65]

Good evening ladies,

Ann, thanks for starting the thread.  I hope things look up for you soon.

Snow, I hear you about not having energy or money to do things.  I wish I had tons of each.

Queen, I did read your blog.  I appreciate your honesty when you write.  I wish there was something I could do, other than give you a huge {{{HUG}}}.

Wish, I think that's a real good move to send a letter to your ex's job.  And you should get the child support.

Netta, sometimes I'll look around the internet at things also, but then I have to stop.  I meant to ask you, did you injure your back?  I have a lot of lower back problems.  Both my kneecaps are broken and there's no cartilage in my left knee; therefore, it won't straighten out.  This throws off my posture (i.e. left hip is higher than right hip and I limp).  I took a nap this evening and geez, when I got up, I thought someone hit me with a board in my sleep.  I also have a huge 'hump' in the middle of my back from I guess slouching for so many years.  Few things like back pain, eh?

Wendy, heh.  That man reminds me of the patients I used to look after when I was a nurse's aid in a nursing home.  Some of them were just amusing.

Well, I feel quite productive today.  I cleaned my whole apartment, took a shower, my therapist came over, and I did laundry.  I'm so wore out now, I don't feel like moving.  Oh, and about 3 weeks ago, I got my left eyebrow re-pierced.  Well, last night while washing my face, the jewelry came out and went down my bathroom sink's drain.  I had some other jewelry, but lost 1/2 of that trying to get it in there and fastened together.  So, I suppose I'm going to have to go somewhere and purchase something and have them put it in.  Which will probably happen if I get that stimulus payment deal.  For now, there's a regular earring in it.  Looks jakey, but oh well. 

It's been a really nice day.  74 right now and it's been sunny all day.  My landlord told me a couple weeks ago he thought he had an air conditioner I could use.  Then a couple days ago, he called and said he didn't have one in working order.  Well, my parents had a couple and I called my oldest sister last night to see if I could have one.  She told me she would call me when she was going to be over there so I could come pick one up.  I can get the key to their house from my brother; but my sister acts like she doesn't trust me in there alone.  What does she think I'm going to do?  All that's left in there are appliances (frig, stove, clothes washer).  Does she think I'm going to cart these things out of their house?  Crazy.

I hope you ladies have a good evening.  I'm going to check out some more threads and watch Jeopardy.

[MOONLIGHT1114]

Looks like Ann took Betty's XXX thread.

Ann, to the (stripper) POLE with you, lol!

Must get....to....weekend.   

Vertigo is back with a fucking vengeance and I have a "slight case" of lyme disease, but that's not what's causing the vertigo.  Its nothing to worry about, the number is too low, I'll retest in 6 months.  I'm going to finally go to an ENT doc, I believe.  This shit is just crazy.

*whew*

[Queen Tokelove]

Evening Ladies---

I am going to keep it short because my sugar crashed to 66 about an hour or so ago. I guess you know, nothing sweet in the house but some Arbor Mist so I drank some of that, tested again and it is at 95 but I still feel sluggish. I am going to drag my ass in the kitchen and cook some asparagus. I have been stopping eating by midnight so my fasting sugars the next day wouldn't be so high. This was suggested by my doctor on Monday too. I started last night and woke up today with a fasting sugar of 165, a bit high so I popped my pills.

I have to take the rotors and brakes back to the place I got them from because they didn't fit the car. No problem, I still have the receipt and talked to the guy where I bought them from. I was also scrubbing the inside of the car down since it had a mildew smell from sitting closed up. Idk, maybe that little activity dropped my sugar, I'm not sure. I was just trying to get it done because it was nice as hell out today.

Keeping---Hmm, do you use photobucket? I know Wini does..hehe...I usually get mine to moving by choosing the attitude category, there are some you get for free and others you spend Meez coins on.

Wini--Since you use photobucket, have you noticed the tab that says "create an avatar"? That's where the Meez are or the addy is Meez.com I believe.

Hey, if Ann gets on that stripper pole, the only thing my broke ass can toss her is pennies....*lmao* Brown brothas add up...*snickers*

Betty--A lot of folks comment on how honest I am with my blog which amazes me. Do people really be fake when doing blogs? I have never been one to sugarcoat shit, I guess it's cause I am blunt. Something that an ex taught me to be, the same one who infected me. I have his name tatted on my arm, I guess as a constant reminder. I cleaned the house too today, maybe I did too much today and that is why my sugar crashed.

Netta-- Girl, please, the last thing I need to do is post some pics up of what I want. That will only piss me off and then make me depressed because I can't afford what I want. And I hate window shopping. When it comes to any type of shopping, I am probably the world's fastest shopper. I am in and out. I don't like long lines and being behind people who write checks. Yep, I swear I am a woman, I just don't like to shop. But I know you meant well. I know the Serenity prayer from my father who went to NA meetings up until the time he got sick from cancer. We use to say it before eating when I was younger so it has never left me.

I need to run and cook this asparagus before midnight. I'll get with you guys tomorrow. It's suppose to be nice out, I just may put my dukes on.

[zazi22]

hi ladies

I just realised that my time is completely opposite than most of you, Im from South Africa and for me the day has just started. i just wanted to make sure that everyone is ok, i just joined you ladies fwe day ago but its already feels like home. does anyone have a different opinion in disclosing, I have kept everything to me (away from even my closest friend) and Im never prapared to say anything to my mome, I just think she will faint of maybe die  because of stress way before I do, I never told my friend because she keeps on having these ridiculus coments about AIDS and hiv, does that makes me live on my own world?

[BT65]

Good morning ladies,

Cin, lyme disease?  I really don't know that much about it, but I hope yours doesn't get too bad.  Good luck with the ENT doc also.

Queen, I'm pretty honest myself and it always makes me feel I am doing the right thing when someone else is.  Sometimes I read things people write and think 'yeah, right.'   Oh, about the putting pictures of things you want up......I couldn't do it either.  It gets me too frustrated.  Sometimes even watching car advertisements gets to me.    You have no sweets in your house?  I always do.  I eat them when my sugars get low, which happens often.  And sometimes I eat one after a good meal, and it doesn't effect my sugar.

Zazi, South Africa, aye?  Wow.  I've heard some really fucked-up stuff about that country... how it's run, poverty etc.  About disclosing, I believe it's an extremely personal issue.  Only you know when you should do it.  I certainly wouldn't do it to people who are making ignorant remarks about HIV.  With some people it seems like it wouldn't matter if they were educated; they would still think a certain way.  I told my parents when I tested poz (1989).  My mum was extremely stressed at first, but once she saw I was going to live my life regardless, she calmed down.  But, you know your mum better than I or anyone else does.  You just do what's comfortable for you.

It's supposed to be 75 out today.  I won't be donning daisy dukes like Queen though.  I don't have the shape for that.  I have to go get some milk at the store; and take back the library books I used for my report.  I might rent a movie tonight.  I've been wanting to go to Goodwill to see if I can find some curtains.  I have two windows in my living area (I live in an efficiency).  The one by my bed is purple (!).  I have no clue why I got a purple curtain.  That's so not the color scheme of the room.  The other one has a mini-blind, which isn't bad, but it's starting to fall apart.  So, I might try to find a couple curtains.  Nothing else going on.  Have a good morning ladies.

[keepingfaith]

Goodmorning Ladies,


I hope you all have a wonderful and blessed day today. I have a long day ahead of me.

[Dragonette]

hi ladies,

I'm having a hard time keeping up with the thread so just writing off the top of my head & sorry if I miss anyone.

Sun, how did it go with the Fockers? and your mum is next? keep us updated & enjoy.

Keeping good luck with the wedding, will we get pics? what is a revival (I know its from another thread). is it something religious?

Zazi, since you are in SA, there are so many poz people around you, like every other person really. Im not saying scream it from the rooftops but you should be able to find poz people to relate to and support each other.

Cindy I dont know what is lyme's either but it doesnt sound too good. what about the vertigo, can you see that specialist again?

Queen you are quite the mechanic. Im amazed how quickly it can go from sub zero to warm in the states, you really have extreme weather patters. what are daist dukes? i guess I can google it dont worry about.

Betty hope you enjoy your weekend.

Ann hope you are feeling better.

Im a bit depressed again cos the ID unit called me, they want me to come in Monday and redo my bloods since I came up detectable. normally I wouldnt sweat it and call it a blip, except its only 6 months since I made the last switch due to resistence, which was my 4th switch already. I know there are still drugs available, I am just distressed, and cant help thinking of Christine (rest her soul) as an example of someone who exahusted treatment options despite adherence. Not that I compare myself to her, but I am aware that the virus is there and looking for ways to conquer. Im completely adherent to the meds and havent had the flu or anything. Next week is really busy so the last thing I need it waiting another week for my results and being stressed over it. Fuckit.

Anyway ladies, sorry for overlooking some of you, it's completely random and usually depends on who posted last. BTW speaking of posting last, Minismum has been awfully quiet as well as Camille again...

Have a great weekend ladies, I'll be around...

[wishful]

Hey ladies!...I have an ID appt today...i havent been in a while..i missed like the last few appts..i dunno why..i guess its kinda boring to go..get seen, they see everything is ok and say ok ill see u in 3 months..and that takes up all my day when i could be at work....but i havent done blood in a while and frankly that is the only reason i am going..i need to see my numbers, cus unlike  alot of u..i forget to take my meds...when i first started i would take them faithfully but it seems the longer I take them the more easily i forget if i did or not...doesnt make sense i know..and i think since i have been so inadherant (is that a word?lol) and still been comin up u/d it made me lax....i know i know not a good thing..so i am going today and getting my labs done..they will prob sch me for 2 weeks out then ill know my numbers..Hopefully im not detected but it will be my own fault if i am...

hope everyone has a grand ole day..

Betty: i havent sent the letter yet...im kinda scared..and in my gut, i still really dont want to hurt him..i also dont want him to retaliate against me physically...he is a whack job that carries his gun around with him all day on/off duty.... so..i know ill prob end up sending it....but i think that would make me just as bad as him....but i really want to stick it to him just like he stuck it to me.... I cant decide..and i for the first time in a while that makes me feel really weak.....

Everyone have a wonderfully blessed day and weekend...talk to ya soon

[minismom]

Ann, my sweet darling, that is EXACTLY how I feel! 

My angels, I am still alive.  This respiratory crap that has been kicking my butt for 6mths felt like it got worse after I started meds for it.  I hate, hate, hate  steroids!  I'm down from 6 (on Monday) to 2 today and only 1 tomorrow.  I've been really busy trying to switch out the seasonal clothing.  If I don't start now, I'll never get it all done.  Opening day for baseball is tomorrow so we'll be at the field from 9:30am until after #2's game ends - it doesn't even start until 7pm.  We've also been outside weeding our flower beds and doing some general Spring cleaning which I usually start in April and finish in Sept.  My goal this year is to actually finish my Spring cleaning in Spring.  I've made a list and trying to do something everyday towards widdling it down.

We got invited to a friends' house for a cookout tonight - free food that I dont have to clean up after - Yeah, we're going.  I'm bringing some macaroni and cheese, deviled eggs, a sugar-free carmel apple dump cake and homemade sugar-free chocolate chip cookies.

I better go and get the kids dressed.  Hubby had a client today and then we're heading out to find some landscaping pebbles to put in our flower beds.  I'll talk to you all later!

Much love to you all!!
Mum

[netta]

Good Afternoon Ladies, its a beautiful day here in Va.Beach. Hope everyone is well.

Betty_ I did hurt my back,some years ago, I had back surgery,now i have degenerative disc disease and reumatoid arthritis,I also sliped and fell on some water that was leakin from a ceiling in a very popular store whose name I can't mention. There was no caution sign. This was last year last  have a law suite going. I wiil not take shots or much pain meds unless I really need it, and definately will not get another operation!! the pain meds and musle relaxants really fuck me up, like I'm high .Sometimes the pain is so bad I can't move. but I keep on trucking for now.

Everyone have a nice weekend, I plan to get my party on, its been a while, even if i have to wear flats. lol

[Winiroo]

We had a hell of a storm go thru our area last night. All is well here, we just got alot of rain.
I found a bundle of plants on sale at Sam's warehouse while I was picking up some scripts for the old man I take care of.
I planted them a while ago. Two pink honeysuckle one weigelia and one trumpet vine
Now all I have to do is wait and see if they grow. Right now they are just stubs with roots.

I've planted a few more things in the last several weeks I cant remember the names of the flower bulbs I planted. I've also planted some seeds. So far the only seeds to sprout are the zucchini and that was an experiment. LOL
I planted a couple of small strawberry plants in a container. We have been feeding the fruit to our turtle that lives in our backyard.

That's all I can think of right now. I'll check back in with ya'll later.

[wishful]

Well I am back from the I/d..actually i been back
I told Dr. K of my med mishaps and he told me not to take them or they will become resistant...So he sent me for labs...it was cool too cus i didnt even feel the lil pinch i always expect..and the tech was extra nice and i was in and out..i go back next friday,,(which was surprising since it wasnt 2 weeks) to see what i have done to myself.. ..hopefully nothing has changed but for some reason i feel that i am prob det again ..I refilled my meds like 2 days ago..do u know what the date was on the last bottle?..2/29/08...that means i have missed more days than i even thought..i really forget to take them.....i thought the most i had went was 2 days w/o taking them....which i guess could still be true but i have just been missing doses more than i had realized....Im stressed....

I still havent sent out the letters..i dont think i want to..i get a bad feeling when i think about it instead of the vengeance rush that i usually get...maybe i will leave well enough alone and let Karma handle him...we will see...i have 30 days from the date of incident to complain....that will be 4-27....

So im leaving..kinda in a funky mood so talk to u guys monday i guess..........

[Winiroo]

Maybe you should try using a pill box.

[pink_beauty]

Hey girls-

Wishful- That's what I am afraid of-being on meds and always forgetting to take them. I am not yet on meds, but when I used to birth control, I forgot them quite often. I hope that your numbers are good still though!!

Winiroo- I wish I could plant flowers! I live in an apartment so I can't

Dragonette-Don't stress about your numbers! Isn't being undectable a good thing?!?!

I finally have a day off today. And I have been productive today! I've cleaned, went to Target, and went grocery shopping! Usually on my days off, I am so lazy, but not today I have to do laundry here soon. That's something I really hate doing now because I don't have my own washer and dryer so I have to go to the apartment complex laundry room.
I have never been a healthy lifestyle kinda girl. And my weight shows it I know that with this disease, you should really have a healthy lifestyle, but since being diagnosed, I haven't changed anything. However, I am going to try now. But I HATE going to the gym. I have a membership, so I should go, right? And it's right across the street! I have no excuse!
I hope you are all having a great day!

[Queen Tokelove]

Wishful--I hope you get out of that funk. Funny how some us be in funks at the same time. And you better stop missing those pills, like I am one to talk..I have missed a few too but on purpose. I don't like to take them when I drink and I have done that a few times. I am wondering what I have done to myself too. Maybe we can compare notes to see who fucked up the most..I know bad joke but trying to make you smile.

Netta-- You be careful partying, don't hurt yourself shaking that money maker...*teehee* Sounds like you are about to be paid, where you plan on going for vacation? Where ever you go, I want a T-shirt..

Mum-- You mean that zythromax isn't helping? That usually works for me. Hope you get better soon. Glad you are going somewhere you don't have to cook. You deserve a break.

Dragonette-- Oh no, I am not a mechanic, my roomie is but I like to watch her when she works. Not even sure if I could do what she does, not that I mean getting dirty and being a grease monkey but being nervous about doing something wrong. I just do little stuff to cars that require a screwdriver... Daisy Dukes are shorts that are really short and sometimes your cheeks are exposed. Proud to say my rumpshaker and dukes caused an accident a few years ago. Not to worry just a minor fender bender. And I still couldn't put on my dukes today, it was a bit chilly. Maybe tomorrow, it's suppose to be 73.

Cindy-- Sorry about the vertigo again. That has to suck. Put Ice to work and get those kinks out. Maybe the stress from work?

My roomie put the front brakes and rotors on today. That kind of lifted my spirits though far from being ready for inspection. Still trying to hunt down some used tires. I can't believe how difficult it is, when I didn't need any, I'd see tires laying all over the damn place. Tried another place today but they didn't have my size..Fuck a duck!!!! I might try to make an attempt to do my hair again this weekend, depends on my mood. But I'm gone for now, I need to check my sugar. Still not eating after midnight and today's fasting sugar was 180. Maybe too much Arbor Mist when it crashed last night. Have a good one, ladies...

[Winiroo]

I ain't even trying to wear no daisy dukes. I'd look like a clown with my stretch marks hanging out and my rear end jiggling.

LOL

[Queen Tokelove]

I ain't even trying to wear no daisy dukes. I'd look like a clown with my stretch marks hanging out and my rear end jiggling.

LOL

LMAO..Have you heard of the song by LL Cool J, "It's Jingling Baby".. Hunt that one down on YOUTUBE.

[Winiroo]

I just happened to have youtube on my screen too.

Jingling Baby

I'm not Tina but this one will work too
'Big Ole Butt'

[BT65]

Evening ladies:

Drag, if you just started new meds, you just might not be undetectable yet.  Anyway, let us know how everything turns out.

Wish, girl, you need to take your meds.  Believe me, the alternatives aren't good.  I use a pill box, every day.  But, for all my ailments, I take about 25 pills a day, plus an Insulin shot.  About the letter, as long as it's well-written, I would send it (you know, not a rant type letter).  He should be held accountable for his shit.

Mum, I'm glad you checked in.  I was starting to wonder about you.  I sincerely hope this crap you have clears up.  And have fun at the cookout.  That sounds good.

Wendy, I can't wear daisy dukes either.  My gut would be so hanging over the front.

Pink, yeah, we're supposed to live healthy.  I don't have the greatest diet, and I smoke.  I only randomly exercise.  So don't feel bad.

Queen, do you remember the song hmmm, I think it was 'The Butt' or 'Doin' the Butt?'  That's what they would be playing if I wore those kind of shorts (you know, when the singer goes 'so and so has a big 'ol butt').  I'm glad your car's getting taken care of little by little.  Good luck with your hair.  I just bleached mine today, which I do every month.

Well, like I just told Queen, I did bleach my hair today (which is a once a month occurence).  I then went to the library to return the books I used for my report and checked out a few movies since they are so much cheaper than the video store.  Then I went to a grocery store and got a few things.  Then I went and got a hot fudge brownie sundae.  I couldn't help it, I was desiring chocolate.  Well, it turned out to be not a good idea.  After I ate it, I crashed for 2 hours, got up, checked my sugar and it was 369.  So, I gave myself a shot of fast-acting Insulin; hopefully it will come down soon.  I want some bbq and they have a place not too far from me.  If my sugar comes down, I might place a to-go order for something.  I wish these restaurants took food stamps.  

Nothing else.  I'm supposed to have an out of town visitor this weekend.  We'll see.  Other than that, nada.  Have a good evening ladies.

Edited to add:  Netta, you have yourself a ball lady.

[Winiroo]

Wendy, I can't wear daisy dukes either.  My gut would be so hanging over the front.

LOL I think my gut sticks out more than my tits when I sit down.

[BT65]

LOL I think my gut sticks out more than my tits when I sit down.

Oh, mine definitely.

[Queen Tokelove]

I just happened to have youtube on my screen too.

Jingling Baby

I'm not Tina but this one will work too
'Big Ole Butt'

Can't forget....Rump Shaker..... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iKKONgfNONU

Betty-- The group you're speaking on is E.U.. and it was called "doing the butt" from the Spike Lee movie School Daze with Laurence Fishbourne, when he was fine...Just a little trivia. Damn, speaking of ass, you getting some more? You're so lucky. Just another lonely Friday for me but I did see a dude I use to mess with back in the day. He still looks good but he is married and that is a no no....*sighs*

Guess it's just me and house full of pussy.....*LOL*

[netta]

Damn I didn't go anywhere tonite .We're going out tomorrow nite. my girls and I. But Iam having a nice evening,with cocktails.Hope you ladies are fine.

[Winiroo]

I rarely go anywhere. I'm a homebody. We stayed home ate dinner at the coffee table and watched a movie. P2 was the name of the movie. It was freaky. Kinda cool in a messed up way.

[vivyt]

Hi! Well, I have not heard from the doctor about my thyroid test, but I am coming to terms with the idea of being really careful about what I eat and working out regularly...AAGGHHHH! I DON'T WANNA! LOL  Oh well...

I think there are new people...Hello to you all. I have not been regular lately. I have been busy with work and just so tired. I do have a a little bit of a success to report about my autistic boy. I think I have mentioned before that when he gets angry he will hit or kick a person. Well yesterday when we were checking the homework his partner told me that he answered half of the questions and put "Yakity yak" for the rest. He got REALLY angry when the other boy told on him and so he says real loud, "He better move!" I then had the boy move his seat somewhere else for 30 minutes until Raymond calmed down. What made that incident a success was that it was the first time he told me he was angry BEFORE he acted out. I was able to intervene and give him a chance to come down. He referred to it has " being in a knot" It's the little things...

Betty: Does your therapist come to your house every week? You never go to the office?

Cindy: Lyme disease?! Isn't that kind of serious? Take care of yourself!

Queen: You just keep on being you!

Win: You are such a whiz with the picture and animation!

Okay...if I didn't mention anyone else I am sorry. There is just too much to keep track. I need to be more on top of it. 

[camille07]

Hey girls-
Queen- I am the sorry, I am a secondary queen when it comes to spike lee, or any film director, but especially him because he has one of the best sound tracks, public enemy.  egads...or should I say boyyyyyyy!  Life of a generation....

Wini-Glad you made it through the mini storm and you survived.  Actually you should focus on growing strawberries in large quanties because  everything in Jersey is being pounded by lead.....(strawberries extract lead..look it up...I'm tired of findind links lol)

[Blessed1974]

OMG!  I don't come online and miss so much

Its going to take me forever to catch up but I'll work on it, LOL There are so many new sisters from another mister on here that are finally found home and I'm so glad!!!

I was just dropping in real quick to let everyone know that Jordan's second test didn't totally break my heart.  Especially after they told me his first test at birth was negative so these next to are just for additional confirmation.  I never had a child that was negative at birth  .  .  .  I'm so happy

My love to everyone and I'll try to catch up soon.  Jordan is teething, so I'm having some long nights

[Dragonette]

Blessed that is amazing, neg at birth! Im so happy for ya and the little one.

well I am pretty low still. Betty, I have changed meds 6 months ago after testing detectable 4 times consecutively. I became undtectable with the new meds, and now am detectable again. Could be a blip, but b/c they had no explanation for the previous resistance (no one expected it to come so soon with me being completely adherent), I am preparing for the worst... or rather, cos that sounds way too organized, I am just freaking out.

Anyway i will know in about 10 days or so, I dont even want to think about it to be honest, it makes me sick to my stomach. I am already resistant to one whole class of drugs anyway. I mean, i wont know if Im resistant but just if I continue to be detectable. I imagine if I do they will put me on Prezista and maybe the new meds from the states but they will take months to order. Those are good meds and i wouldnt mind switching just that I dont want to run out of options so fucking soon, I am only just over 2 years into this. Besides the new meds arent approved for pregnancy but seeing as I dont seem to be getting pregnant anyway 

Wishful, even though I have been adherent and it didnt help me, if you are not adherent you will have to go thru this shit sooner or later, and trust me you dont want that, so start taking the meds, put the alarm on your mobile or something and have them in a fixed place so you see when you miss them, like on the nightstand or the bathroom sink.


We saw "the bucket list" at the cinema last night. I totally didn't like it, its about 2 men (Morgan freeman and jack Nicholson) who are about to die and make a list of all the things they want to do, and do them. Its a good idea but the result is the same old self centered crap, things you can do only if you have tons of money and you treat the world as your playground and other people as props on the set... anyway I was not in a good mood, someone else might like it.

I really like Spike Lee but he used to be way better in the past. Mine favorites of his are Do the right thing and Jungle fever.

Have a good weekend ladies,

[cjc]

Happy Saturday...  Tomorrow is Robert's birthday . He will be 5.   I went last night and got a cake with miniature Tonka trucks on it and mom bought him a helmet for the truck I got him. I saved my income tax money and bought him a Ford F150 ride on truck. It was expensive but He has been asking for one for close to a year and I promised so he gets it.  I will take some pictures with the digital and post them after his family party.                                                        Other than that, I should be off until Tuesday. I'm glad, I have felt poorly the last couple weeks so I am grateful for the break.                       Moonlight, Lyme disease? That can be serious   Hope you are okay.  Dragonette, hope it's just a blip. It took me at least 6 months to go undetectable , keeping my fingers crossed for you.                        Blessed1974, glad little Jordan came up negative. That must be a huge relief  .     Betty, hope you are having a great weekend with your guest.                                                                              Queen, hope things get better for you.                                          This thread title is so accurate. I feel like that all the time. Right now , I am very pleased with myself cause I kept my promise to Robert.        Everyone I missed, have a great weekend. Later, Cristy                                                                                   PS. The eggys are back after about 3 months of none. Happy about that , too     

[MOONLIGHT1114]

Hi GFs~

The lyme disease (for Drag, its being latched on to by a tick, a small bug which sucks your blood...) is no big deal.  There are no symptoms.  The result came back in January and my new ID doc just noticed it in the labs this past week.  There is no bullet mark, there are no flu-like symptoms, nothing.  This could have happened when I was a child.  My joints are fine, no inflammation, it prob happened years ago.  Chances are it was a false positive.  Thanks for the PM, Camms. 

Queen, I have been having a lot of low readings but adjusting.  You drank to take care of your blood sugar?  OK...... 

BT, did you feel any of that quake the other day?  I imagine you were too far away, but it makes me wonder what the hell the Great Lakes are going to be doing over the next 100 years.

Win, we need to get you your own Narc thread.  The one we had last year was a riot, lol!  Except for that one kid in there...... Your pics are hilarious!

Ice went in to work for a few hours today, wanted to ride his Harley, but he had promised to take my Jeep in.  Caps game today at 1pm and its gonna be 85 degrees here.  Oh dear.

Hope everyone is having a good weekend, no way in hell I can reply to everything, too much happening lately, so forgive me.

~ Cindy

[BT65]

Morning ladies,

Queen, yeah.  I looked up the video (Doin' the Butt) on youtube last night and was rockin' and rollin'.  At the NA dances they used to have they always played it.  I don't know any newer hip-hop, but I do know some 'old school' stuff (Chic, Lakeside, Zapp etc.).  I hope your day goes well today.  

Netta, I hope you have tons of fun in Va. Beach.  You deserve it.  And I hope you win that lawsuit.  I don't know why you wouldn't.  I've heard horror stories about back surgery.  My (2nd) ex-husband had three back surgeries when we were together and never did well with any of them.  In fact, one time he had spinal fluid leaking out and got a terrible infection.

Viv, I remember you telling us how that autistic boy used to act out.  I'm glad he was able to verbalize what he was feeling before lashing out.  And yes, my therapist comes here every week.  I've been seeing him since '91 and he started coming to my place when I went through the terrible bout of wasting.  He, his wife, and I have gotten to be good friends.  He and his wife are my granddaughter's godparents, we've been to his house for a cookout, he's given me rides on his motorcycle (BMW), and he's taken me to the local theater when his wife has been in plays.  I know that's usually a no-no, but somehow the friendship-relationship just evolved.  Believe me, I feel very fortunate.

Camm, how are you doing girl?

Blessed, congratulations on Jordan's test results!  That must be such a relief.  

Drag, I've heard mixed things about 'The Bucket List.'  I don't know if I want to see it or not.  Please don't panic about your test results yet.  And if you do have to go on the newer meds, I've heard nothing but good about them.  And I'm sure there's more in the pipeline.

Cristy, you tell Robert happy birthday from me.  That's really sweet that you got him that truck.  I'm sure he'll have hours of fun with it.  You're such a good mum.  Have fun on your days off.

It's grey here today.  Yesterday it was sunny and 75.  Today it's not supposed to get above 60.  But I know this is just typical spring weather.

I love Spike Lee.  The first movie of his I saw was 'Do The Right Thing.'  He made an awesome documentary about Hurricane Katrina called 'When the Levees Broke.'  I watched that and it made me really angry about how that whole thing was handled.  I saw it on HBO, but if it's out I highly recommend it.  Some of it is shocking.  

Nothing else planned.  My company is supposed to be here later this morning/early afternoon.  I'm not sure exactly what we're going to do, outside of some sex.  He mentioned that he wants to see the movie 'Ray,' so we'll probably rent that.  Anyway, I hope you ladies have a good day.  I'll be back later.

Cin, I see you replied the same time I tried to.  We did have parts of my town that felt the quake, but I didn't.  Then again, I can sleep through almost anything.

[Queen Tokelove]

Good Morning Ladies----

By the time I finish this post it will be afternoon. So far the morning has started out good. The roomie and I will do laundry later on. My sister(the main one who outed me) bday was on Thursday but is having a party today. My oldest sister gave me the heads up when I called her the other day. And then my son comes over last night and tells me about it. I don't plan on attending and my sister doesn't want to go either. My other sister just gets on my last nerve. Though I have gotten over her always telling people my status, she doesn't bother calling or coming to visit. Since I have been here, she only came to visit one time though I have seen her drive by on many occassions. She acts like she has more than any us because her and her crackhead man both work. But the reality is her house is nasty and she has no more than I do. If I was to break it down to material shit which she thrives on, I would be doing better than her since I have more stuff than she does. And even with 5 cats my house is clean and though I have a room mate, I am not depending on a man to help me. *snaps fingers* OK!!!

Forgive the short rant but my ass is not going, I don't care that she has a shitload of alcohol, which I don't drink the same stuff she does anyway or that she bought an ounce of weed. All that tells me is that she must've got her income tax back because she don't buy stuff to the extreme like that when she gets paid from her job. And wants to try to rub me and my sister's noses in it. No thank you.

Betty-- My son pretty much keeps me updated on the latest rappers but I still go for rappers like Snoop Dogg. I have his new song,"Sensual Seduction" as my ringtone.

Snoop-- Sensual Seduction, make this your theme song, Betty...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pKz-RXSeIYA

Notice the Prince vibe in the video. Ah, I love Snoop. I would love to smoke one of his blunts..Some of the newer rappers, I'm just not feeling. They're lyrics are fucked up and I don't like what some represent.

Cindy-- Yeah, I had to drink the Arbor Mist to spike my sugar. There wasn't anything sweet around.

Blessed-- Congrats with the results on the baby. I feel for you with him teething, I bet the poor thing is hornery as hell.

Christy-- I bet Robert will be driving that truck all day and when he goes to sleep prolly dreaming of riding it some more. Check for a smile on his face while he sleeps..

Dragonette-- Thought I like both actors, I don't think I would want to see that movie either. Knowing reality is not like that for the majority of us. As far as your meds, I hope you find something that works for you.

There were a few Spike Lee movies I liked. My fave is School Daze. I did like Do the Right Thing but I always got angry when Radio Raheim got killed and PE's Fight the Power just made it get worse. I have never seen Jungle Fever but liked Girl 6 because it had Prince's music in it.

I need to surf a bit then do a little gaming. I will check back in later...

[Winiroo]

Win, we need to get you your own Narc thread.  The one we had last year was a riot, lol!  Except for that one kid in there...... Your pics are hilarious!

What is a Narc thread?

[Ann]

I'm torn between saying that I'm happy others could relate to the title I chose for this thread and being sad that others could relate. Hmmm... damned if you do....

Foxtrot Charlie and I have been having a bit of a glitch these past few weeks. Part of it is because he can be a moody bastard and part of it is because I had (to use the medical parlance) an "adverse event" while taking Champix (aka Chantix). Trust me to be one of the people who ended up with the anxiety attacks, depression and suicidal ideation. I had the same thing happen while taking a drug to combat endometriosis about eleven years ago... and if they think they're ever going to get me to try Sustiva, well, they can go fuck themselves. I'll take my chances with turning yellow on Reyataz.

ANYWAY...

This all came to a head last Saturday when I found myself thinking how nice it would be to wake up dead and be done with it. Thankfully, I quickly realised what was going on (I'm not one to think like that at all!) and stopped taking the Champix. By Monday I was pretty much back to my normal self. I knew the anxiety attacks were down to the Champix, but thought the depression was to do with my problems with Charlie. After the Champix got out of my system, I realised Charlie had very little to do with how I was feeling. I know him and his moods and I normally just roll with it - I can't help but love him in spite of his foibles.

Another reason I chose the title I did was because of what I've been dealing with regarding a mate's daughter. This kid is nearly thirteen and her mother, father and step-father are all hiv positive. I'll try to make a long story short...

Her father now has custody of ... I'll call her Sally... because the Social took her off her mother because the step-father is a no-good, drunken, wife-beating asshole. (yes, when given the choice between said asshole and her kids, she chose the asshole) The father has been a close mate of mine for sixteen years and we've always been there for each other, so when he asked me to help with Sally, of course I said yes. She's not allowed to be a latch-key child, because  the Social doesn't approve. (I agree in this instance) Basically what I do is go down to their house every morning to walk her to school - otherwise she is either very late or doesn't get there at all. She's meant to come to my house after school, although this is a bit hit-and-miss. I'm going to have to start collecting her at the school gates.

I do this to enable the father to keep working. The nature of his job means he's often out the door at 5am and not back home until after 6pm.

Sally has "issues". Not only is she totally aware of the choice her mother made, but she's also being bullied by one or two who tell her, "your parents are gonna die of aids". (I live on an island, people here tend to know your business) Her mother resents my involvement and is actively undermining all the gains we (the father and I) have been making with Sally's behaviour. Of course Sally craves her mother's attention, so when her mother can rouse herself to interfere, Sally falls for it. The poor kid is a pawn in something she cannot understand.

We'd been making great strides with Sally recently and the school and her social worker were really happy with her progress. Then the mother decided to stick her oar in last week and the end result? Sally was suspended from school on Friday and is facing a day of isolation when she returns on Monday. Getting her to school on Monday is going to be fun.

Sally is a really sweet little girl and I've always had a soft spot for her as she was born while I was working with her father (back in my commercial fisherman days). She's also a real bitch - and who can blame her? She's challenging, to say the least. It breaks my heart. She just needs to know that someone is there for her, someone who isn't going to choose some asshole over her. I'm in this for the long haul, but her mother is going to make things as difficult as she can. Don't even start me on her mother and step-father. They were part of my "diagnosis cluster" and they've dealt with diagnosis by burying themselves in alcohol. It's a fucking mess and Sally is the innocent victim in all this.

Sally's father and I aren't - and haven't been - romantically involved. The mother is one of the people Charlie had an affair with years ago... Hey! Life on an island tends to be a bit... incestuous.

Well, that's just part of the picture, but it's enough to give you an idea of what's been going on with me recently. It hasn't been easy, but now that Champix is out of the equation, it's a bit easier to cope. Damn, I'd rather smoke and die later than keep taking Champix and end up swinging from the rafters tomorrow...

I'm sorry I don't turn up and reply more often. I do read every day and I commiserate when things are going badly for any of you and I rejoice when any of you have things go right. Know I'm here in spirit if nothing else and I'm on your side. 

Group hug,
Ann
xxx

(and thanks for listening!)

[Winiroo]

Your doing a good thing Ann. Stick with it, that girl needs a good female role model.

[Ann]

Queen,

I decided to say something to you in a seperate post in case my post above put you to sleep before I got around to talking to you.

I suspect your doctor was lying to you when he refused to prescribe Chantix for you because you smoke the good green. I think he probably doesn't want to put you on it because of your recent troubles with depression and if that's the case, I whole-heartedly agree.

Girl, that shit's nasty.

I don't have a history of depression (not since my early 20s, anyway) and it hit me like a ton of bricks. There was an article in the British press only yesterday about some guy who hung himself while on Champix and he never suffered from depression.

It's a very real, very scary, potential side-effect.

My honest opinon? If you've got any kind of history of depression, stay the fuck away from that stuff. Even for people who don't normally suffer from depression, I think they should be clearly warned that it could happen. I'm just glad I knew it was a possible side-effect and when it happened to me, I had the presence of mind (only because I KNEW the score) to stop taking it.

I stopped taking it on a week ago today, and I had an appointment with my GP on the following Monday to get my Champix refill. I told the doc what happened and he "yellow carded" it, which means he filled out a yellow form that is sent to the manufacturer as well as a regulatory body here in the UK. This form details the "adverse event" so others can benefit from the information. I'm glad my doc was on the ball with this. It's not obligatory and many docs don't bother.

By the way woman, light a spliff in honour of me. That stuff is like gold dust around here.

Hugs,
Ann
xxx

[Ann]

Thanks Wendy. I keep trying to use my own daughter as a role model too... she's had many of the same challenges that Sally faces (although I never chose an abusive asshole over her) and she's currently an exchange student at Miami University and loving every minute of it. She (Alice here in the forums) turns 21 at the end of the month and her birthday present from her father and I was funds to enable her to travel around the States for six weeks before she comes back home.

I'm hoping that Alice will be a good influence on Sally when Alice is home for the summer. She has another year to go at Leicester University, starting next October. (the UK school year is different to the US one)

Wendy, thanks again. My greatest wish is that someday Sally thanks me - by not becoming a teenage mother. That's what usually happens to marginalized young women here... it's so sad.

Ann
xxx

[Snowangel]

I have been reading lately but not posting much, I have been in a pissy mood.  I am not sure what it is, I screwed up with my meds for a couple of days, which I never do and I am not sure if it has been affecting me differently cuz I took it (Atripla) during the day?  I should be back on track now, I hope 

I went to the local ASO yesterday and let's just say it did not leave a good taste in my mouth.  It almost makes me want to not reach out to anyone anymore.  All I want is to meet some women in my area that I have something in common with and it ain't happening.

Ann- It is nice to see you post.  Sounds like you have your hands full and Sally is a lucky girl to have you.  Sally's mom sounds like a real dope. I hate it when the parents don't have the kids best interest in mine, just because they are the "birth" parents, like that gives the right to fuck up the kids lives?  I'm glad you got dealing with moody figured out, I deal with the same thing but mine is mean to boot and it drives me nuts(Funny- you call your man Foxtrot Charlie cuz my man is a radio head---we have dozens and dozens of cb/ham radio and all that shit downstairs) Thank goodness you had the presence of mind to stop the Champix.  That stuff sounds awful!!

Blessed-  That is awesome news!!! I am so happy for you! I hope things are going better with his Daddy!

Moon- I glad the lyme is not affecting you.  I didn't realize you could get from when you were younger.  I remember walking in the field behind my house with red pants on when i was about 12 and I came out covered in ticks up to both knees.  Gross!!

Betty- I hope you are enjoying your company this weekend!

Drag- Sorry to hear you are feeling low and freaking about your numbers.  I hope it is just a blip and things will be back to normal when you go back.

cjc-  Happy Birthday to your son. I hope you have a fun day and get lots of pictures.

viv- Great news with the autistic boy, that must have made you feel good for him and you to make that progress.

Queen- I hope you have been feeling better, the acorns not working, huh? Damn!  Maybe it takes awhile to kick in.

Win- I checked out your website real quick.  Those are beautiful pics of you and your kids!

I found a baby turtle in my driveway today, it was so cute.  I took some pics, I will try to post when I download them.  That lifted my spirits a little but not much.

I hope everyone else is doing well.  Take care,
Snow

[Ann]

Hi Snow,

It's totally possible that taking the Atripla in the morning is screwing you up. It's the Sustiva in it.

You ain't kidding that Sally's mother is "a real dope". She has three children, one who will be 18 in May, (lives with Sally and the father) one who is 16 and Sally. The middle lad was taken off her at the same time Sally was - and she (the mother) was buying him alcohol because she'd rather see him in care than with the family member he's with (an uncle, who has done wonders with the kid). It's absolutely horrible that she's using hiv as an excuse to treat her children like shit, like pawns. The "man" she's married to has been known to beat up his 70-something mother and has been banned from her house by his sister. She most likely infected both the current husband and my mate shortly after her affair with Charlie and her viral load was through the roof, as it often is during and shortly after seroconversion.

Snow, I don't know if you read my blog or not, but I explained the Foxtrot Charlie moniker there. He used to work for the UN in Africa (Sudan) and that was his call name on the radio, which was the only means of communication with the outside world when he was in the field. His time in Africa is part of his moodiness problem - he hurts but he can't really talk about it. (men!) He's on Sustiva and the nightmares he gets - remembering some of the things he saw over there - well, it's scary. He talks in his sleep a lot and what he says doesn't really bear repeating. Nasty shit. At least he stopped looking under the bed for a machete when awoken unexpectedly.

I've got to get myself upstairs.. Charlie is waiting for me. His brother (bless him) told him earlier today to get  his shit together and make it up with me.

Oh and I love reconciliations!

[Winiroo]

Win- I checked out your website real quick.  Those are beautiful pics of you and your kids!

Thanks, that's sweet of you to say. I haven't really worked on the site in years aside from adding a few pictures here and there. Its in much need of repair I'm sure.

[keepingfaith]

Hello Ladies,

I was just lurking a bit and decieded to check in. Nothing exciting for me today. I went to the store and picked up the rest of my bridesmaids dresses and picked out my flower girl dressed. I only have a couple of weeks left. I'm getting excited but not really nervous. Tonight is kind of boring to me. Me and SO sitting around watching TNA wrestlling and DD running around in circles between the two of us. DS is with his dad this weekend.

Snow- How you doing Hun. The Atripla is really making me have some weird dreams. Some of them kinda scare me. 

Betty- Have fun with your company, I wish I had some company or something to do tonight.

Drag- I hope you feel better.

Win- You are amazing with the pictures. I cant get my pictures to do anything at the bottom of my post

Queen - How do you get your Meez to dance at the bottom, where do you post the code?

Blessed- congradates on the baby, that really is a blessing

Someone on the other post asked me what revival was. It is chruch services that goes on from 3 to 5 days at night. Its like the Sunday morning services.


Well Im done... Good night ladies!

[Queen Tokelove]

Checking In----

Not much happened today. I cleaned the whole house today and cooked dinner. I gave roomie a break since she was working on the car yesterday putting the breaks and rotors on. I have been feeling better, maybe it is the necklace Snow made for me.. I haven't taken it off since I got it. I still didn't get to do the laundry but will tomorrow. I figured I did enough today. I just got done soaking in the tub and I feel a bit better and sleepy. I think I just might sleep like a baby tonight.

Ann-- I have noticed every time I mention wanting to start Chantix, he has a different excuse. First it was I would lose more of my hearing and now he says it is because I smoke weed. If it is because he thinks it will cause more depression he should just say so. I think it is great that you are being a mentor to Sally. That's how I look at it, she needs some positive female role models. I think she will bond with you and your daughter in no time. Now don't you want to adopt me and send me on a  6 week vacation...

Keeping-- I put my Meez in my sig line using the IMG code. Do you have photobucket? Now remember when you get married to tell peeps to toss sunflower seeds instead of rice. Environment friendly and all that. In other words feed the birds so they can shit on someone else...*LOL*

I was in a musical mood today. I went into a downloading frenzy. I guess I picked up Ann and Betty's getting laid vibe cause I made a real nice, slow jam, get some booty type music..Why, who the hell knows cause I sure ain't getting any. Speaking of penises, I could've sworn I saw my ex( the young buck) and his twin brothers playing around outside my house. Almost like being loud so I would hear them. But I couldn't tell cause when ex was with me, he had long hair but it sure sounded like him. I don't know what it is with seeing guys that I use to have relations with. Kinda weird. I better check my horoscope...*teehee*

Snow-- Sorry to hear you are in a bitchy mood. It happens, just roll with it and promise not to kill anybody..

That's about it for me. I think I am going to roll a doobie in honor of Ann and go back to playing Warcraft. Goodnight Ladies...

[BT65]

Morning ladies:

Queen, given your sister's past treatment of you, I don't blame you for not wanting to go to your sister's bd thing. I'm going to have to download that song by Snoop.  I haven't taken that necklace off either.  And for what it's worth, I wouldn't take Chantix again myself.  Too many nasty side effects.

Ann, wow.  It's good to see you post.  Sally is extremely fortunate to have you.  But you already know that.

Snow, don't quit reaching out.  We all need people in our lives.  I haven't been to my ASO's support group in quite awhile.  I think I might go in the next couple weeks.  When I go, I'm the longest term survivor there, so many people can't relate to some things.  But that's alright; it's still good to go to.  I agree with Ann about the Atripla (the Sustiva in it) affecting your mood.  I myself cannot take Sustiva because of too many mood changes.  But, I have a history of depression that can turn bad.

Keeping, only two weeks?  Wow, that's really close.  Post some pictures if you want to.

Well, my company is still here.  We watched 'Silence of the Lambs' & 'Ray.'  He had never seen 'Silence..'  And I always enjoy that movie.   I've seen 'Ray' before, but I like that one also.  We didn't do anything exciting (well, not too many things ).   He actually invited himself down here this weekend.  He says the next invite will be up to me.  I think I'm going to stretch it.  He's been down too often lately and I don't much like that.  But, I'm not into relationships.  If I was, it would surely be with a woman.  And things are a little more 'emotionally' close than what I care for (on his part).  He's in the other room, but will soon be back out here, so I won't post anything else and will soon post this and quickly switch out to another thread so he won't see this.  Of course, he might visit the women's forum sometime and read it, so whatever (yes, he's a member of these forums). 

Nothing planned for today.  When he leaves, I'm going back to sleep and then studying.  Only one more class then I'm freeeeee.  For the summer.  Have a good one ladies.  I'll be back later. 

[Dragonette]

Good afternoon ladies,

Nothing much to report, just a quiet weekend with work thrown it, i had a long skype talk with my bro, and while downloading music from a sharing site, run across an old friend and roomate of mine. we havent talked in years. guess what i disclosed to him online. he was a total sweetheart about it, I fully trust him to be discrete. Funny enough its the HIV which has kept me from reuniting with this old friend. I hope to see him next time I am home or maybe here if he comes over.

Ann I have never tried Chantix but the older smoking cessation med, Zyban, and its a trip. I couldnt handle it and stopped after 10 days. good that you realized it. About Sally its so tough when the parents are causing trouble, esp if its both of them. but no matter what I am sure you're a positive influence, maybe the effects will take a while, she will probabaly test your limits and try all sorts of things she couldnt do with her folks, b/c they abandoned her. it makes me so sad when people treat their kids wrong like that, and for what?

Cristy sorry I forgot, Happy Birthday to Robert. Hope he was overjoyed with the present.

Keeping hope for some pics too.

Snow, I know how you felt re the ASO. I hope you can take care of the turtle baby, I dont know what to feed them but sure its on the net. If you feed him regularly outside you wont have to keep him in a box, he will come to you from the bushes, but cos its a baby am not sure.

Betty, so you're saying if the person were a woman thing's would be different for you?

well, back to the papers. have a good day everyone, be well

[BT65]

Hey ladies,

Company gone.  And yes, Drag, if it were a woman, things would be different.  In fact, I think I might go woman exclusive whether it's relationships or sex.  The man who was here this weekend is just way too needy for me.   He actually left earlier than usual; but that was because I wasn't paying full attention to him.  So, good.  I was hoping he would leave.  I started reading my latest 'Rolling Stone' magazine and he seemed disturbed that I wasn't giving him attention.  Every time he said something to me I just looked up briefly and went 'hmm, yeah.'  So, end of story.

My best relationship was with a woman, and actually, I enjoy sex much more with women than men.  I also enjoy women's company much more than men.  Coming to accept one's sexual identity takes awhile I suppose.

I'm not really tired now.  I do have studying to do, and cleaning up the apartment.   My brother will probably come over tonight and we'll watch episodes 3 & 4 of 'The Wire.'  I'll check back in later.  I hope everyone's doing alright.

[Winiroo]

The turtle in my backyard likes bananas and strawberries. The yard is completely fenced so he cant get out unless he/she dug.
 

[Dragonette]

Wini, that's such a cute pic of him/her peeking all shy behind the flower.

*peeking not peaking of course

[Winiroo]

He/she is the most quiet pet I've ever had. Plus I don't have to feed it regularly. Its a wild animal, anything I feed it is a special treat. Also I do not have to look out for poop or clean up poop. He/she does not leave fur anywhere either
It has never bitten us and it is too slow to attack anyone. LOL

[Dragonette]

And they live like forever so no heartache.

Speaking of heartache, Betty I do feel for the poor guy, maybe cos I have been on that end more than once. But you gotta do what you gotta do, I mean there's no point pretending if you're not bothered, better sooner than later. But had I thought you had a thing goin' on...

How's Liz btw?

[BT65]

Liz and I still talk, but she has a couple habits I wouldn't do well with.  She's on two meds, that for me anyway as an addict, were very destructive.  I'm no doctor, and I can't say what's not right for one wouldn't be good for another.  It's just a matter of trust for me, I suppose.

Oh trust, Drag, this guy is waaaay too needy for me.  I don't have that kind of patience anymore.  Nor do I spend waking moments tending to a grown person's needs.  I'll do that for my grandkids, but not for a grown-up.  I did tell him he should look into joining a support group, so hopefully he'll be looking in that direction.

[Dragonette]

Too bad about Liz. Glad you're being careful though.

About the guy, I have once befriended a poz guy (not romantically) and he drove me nuts with his constant need for reassurance. I mean I was the one who was a foreigner, with not much money at all, without stable employment, and much fewer T cells. His health was perfect except the HIV, he wasn't even fatigued, he was self employed with no major financial concerns, not on meds, he even had a supportive, loving girlfriend. But he was the kind who blocks out everyone else's problems and just sees his own fears and just needs to be constantly calmed down. He wanted to know how long he had to live all the time, like I was with less than 200 T cells and had to keep reassuring him, it got to the state where I had to disconnect from him. If we'd have been romantically involved, would have been way more difficult.
I hate to cause someone heartache though but what can you do...

[BT65]

Oh, this guy's employed also, as a machinist (has been one for 30 years).  So I know he makes good money.  He just told me the other day he wrote out a check for a new motorcycle.  He's on meds, but is having no problems.  His reassurance he seems to need isn't for 'how long am I going to live'; rather, just more of attention/ego-building.  Truth be known, I think he got HIV from another man and is now trying to reaffirm to himself that he's not gay.  If that's the case, then he'll need lots of therapy, to accept himself as he is or not.  But I'm not the one for that. 

Anyway, I suppose I should do the dishes and get on with the day.  I'll be back later, definitely.

[Snowangel]

Drag- I am happy for you that you ran into an old friend and your disclosure went well, that must have felt so good.  It is nice to find out people that you consider your friends are truly your friends. 
I just brought the turtle down to the pond that is in front of my house, its more like a swamp.  It is actually conservation land(one of the reasons I bought a house in this crappy city) some bog that the state protects and will never build on.  There are snapping turtles in there and I don't want the kids getting used to going up to them AND the last thing I need is something else to take care of   I think some of the reason I am not in a good mood is that we have 3 dogs that my SO brought home, the ankle biters a year ago and the pit 2 or more now, that I do most of the work with.  He never asked if I wanted the dogs, I could handle one or maybe both ankle biters by myself but the pit is huge, we have an extra large cage for him and he should really be in the next size up because he is so long and tall.  He can stand up and put his paws on my shoulders with no problem and I am 5'9.  He is really good with the kids but now that it is nice weather, I worry about people being outside when I take him out and him getting away from me.  He is very protective.  The last thing I need is a law suit.

Win-Your turtle is huge compared to the one I found   Is that portulaca in the picture next to it?  I love that stuff!

Betty-My fiance that I had broken up with was very needy.  I remember he and I had come home to visit my mother and I found out that my parents were getting divorced, he was down stairs when I was talking to my Mom and when I finally went down to him, he was all upset that I had left him alone?  Could care less that I had just found out my parents were divorcing.  His mother was a raging alcholic and I think that had a lot to do with how he acted,  he ended up passing away in 98 from a drug overdose.  He was a wonderful person though, I named one of the trips after him.   Sounds like you have a great relationship with your brother, I always wished I had siblings but especially a brother.

Ann-I had read your recent postings on your blog.  Wow, I don't blame him for having awful dreams and his moodiness. I have to say you are one strong ass women.  You have to deal with this mothers BS with Sally AND she infected Foxtrot?  I would have no tolerance for that women.  It really amazes me how strong some people can be and how amazingly weak others are.

Keeping-  Whatta you mean?  You had something to do you just weren't in the mood.

Queen- I promise I won't kill anyone, I definately could not do the jail thing   

I am going to try to attach some pics of the turtle and something else that made me laugh on the way back from the pond.  I hope I am not the only one with a sick sense of humor but tell me what you think of when you see this pic?

Hope everyone has a nice Sunday!
Thank goodness for copy and paste, I almost lost this whole thing, I 'll try one pic at a time.

[attachment deleted by admin]

[Snowangel]

Please tell me I am not the only one with a sick mind 

[attachment deleted by admin]

[Winiroo]

LOL Thats even better than the one on the tree in my front yard.

I've called it the upsidedown ass on the tree but I guess it could be a vagina too, or a really small penis.

[attachment deleted by admin]

[Dragonette]

interesting botanic phenomenon... Wonder what it looks like sideways?   

LOL just saw yours Wini, wonder if those trees should get together....

[Winiroo]

LOL funny

I just realised I failed to answer a question. That was portulaca. I think its all dead now.

[Queen Tokelove]

Hello Ladies---

My roomie would be envious of the turtles, she had 2 but when they died, they petrified. She didn't do anything to kill them, that's what happened to them during hibernation. If I could, I would get her some. I still want an iguana. Pretty soon it will be the wild kingdom over here...

Ugh, I hate needy men. I call them clingy. Just cause we like each other don't mean we got to be around each other 24/7...There is the invention called the cell phone. Don't get me wrong, I want a relationship but I want my space too. I'm not for living with a man again.

Betty- I wish you knew how to work Yahoo Messenger, I could send you the Snoop song. I could email it to you if you would give me your email. Oh wait, I think I have it already from my blog. I'll send it to you and a few others. If you don't like the others you can delete them. Just a few songs for us single, vibrant, independent women, not to say that the ones that got men are not. I thought I would be the only one who wore Snow's necklace all the time. I have to do a ritual with it as I have the others I wear and then I will never take it off or let anyone touch it. I love silver and I wear a pentacle(for protection) and a necklace I had bought my Dad before he died. I never take them off except to clean them and redo the spells I have on them. Yeah, it's a Pagan/Witchy thing.. Damn, you kickin it with a member here? I love Silence of the Lambs, I have all the others except that and Hannibal Rising. Ray was a good movie, I liked it. I just watched Beowulf on ppv the other night. I liked that too and will be getting it for my collection.

I am being lazy today. I am suppose to be going to the courthouse to see this probation officer in regards to my son but I think I am going to reschedule because I have the cat scan of my tummy to do and I don't need the stress. I shouldn't think it would be a problem, he rescheduled on me once already and he can call my doctor's office to confirm it.

I'll check back in later.

[BT65]

This is just going to be a quick one.  I've gotten the dishes done, the place back in order, and I'm going to take a nap.  I was up at 7:00 this morning and I'm weary.

Yeah Queen, you should have my e-mail from your blog.  And yes, the guy I've been banging is someone on these forums.  If you would like to know, let me know and I'll pm you.  I'm just hoping that when it does end, none of it, should it turn ugly, gets dragged onto these forums.  But if it does, I'll handle myself, of course, like a lady and let the mods do their jobs. 

OK, I'm off to snooze land for awhile.  When I get up, I'll definitely be studying for the final in my class.  Have a good afternoon ladies.

[penguin]

wini, i think you gota tortoise not a turtle...

(they's sensitive to these things, Shelled Ones are)

kate

[Veritee]

Great tree pictures - had a look at my trees as I live on a smallholing and have quite a few trees, but could find nothing like this - what a pity

Turtles ? You have all lost me again, we do not really keep turtles here and they would never survive outside

 - But I have two snakes that I keep in my conservatory. They were my daughters but she has long abandoned them leaving me to look after them ( don't all mothers end up looking after the discarded pets?) Unfortunately I can not let them go as much as I would love to, as they also would never survive in the UK climate

Betty how brave of you to 'bang' someone from here and feel able to take any back lash should it go a bit ugly ( hope it does not)  - it would scare me but then everything scares me right now. But I hope should my husband does die of this thing I will have the courage to bang someone !!!

I start HIV meds tonight - wish me luck, hate the idea of eating this poison and totally scared

Veritee

[germangirl]

Hey Ladies,
just want to say I did not forget you.
I had a lot of work last week and next week will even be worse.

I am lost in all the posts.

Wish- nice picture.
Drag - All the best for your results.
Betty- Did you smoke again?

today the weather in Germany was nice, so we spent the whole day in our garden and had a barbecue.
Last night we went to dance and came back at 6 o'clock in the morning.
 So I am still tired.

I will check in again tomorrow.

Germangirl

[germangirl]

Veritee - Good luck with your meds.
Think about they will help you, try not to consider them as poison. I can imagine it is hard to accept, but they will help you to stay fit.

What combo will you take?

We are thinking about starting the meds too (my husbands last blood work was okay, but the doctor told him, he could start know, it is a hard decision, cause there are pros and cons) . But my husbands wants to start  cause he wants to fight against the virus and the meds will help hiim

Try to consider your meds as your aider in your fight aganist the virus.

[BT65]

Veritee, good luck with the meds.  I have been on meds pretty much the whole time I've been poz, save for the first year (1989).  Believe me, they're a lot easier to take than what they used to be.  Like Germangirl said, just think of them as keeping you alive and fighting the battle that's been going on in your body unchecked (until now).  Let us know how you're doing, kay?
  Luv,
Betty

[Winiroo]

wini, i think you gota tortoise not a turtle...

(they's sensitive to these things, Shelled Ones are)

kate

He/she is a box turtle.
more info:
http://nationalzoo.si.edu/Animals/ReptilesAmphibians/Facts/FactSheets/Easternboxturtle.cfm

We call him/her Fluffy.

[penguin]

apologies to the chelonian,wini, thoughti could see stumpy feet in th picture (leaves, it was, shoulda looked closer)

kate

[cjc]

Great day. I gave Robert everyone's birthday wishes and his truck. We are exhausted. He is in bed and I will be soon. Here are a couple pictures. I will respond to everyone tomorrow. Cristy Edited to remove photos

[netta]

Hello Ladies, just checking in. no partying at all this weekend. but I did smoke a blunt and got silly.
CJ- your sons Pics are adorable! Is that You int the pic with him ?

Verity- don't stress Out about your new meds, I have done that plenty of times. What I do is write down how I am feeling so if I have any side effects I can have a record of them to tell the doctor. I live alone so I let my family know when I take new meds , so they can check on me, from time to time.
So far so good.
Snow,Betty,Queen, Win, German , Keepinf, Ann,Moon and Drag  shout out to ya!
 
Betty,I know what you mean about those needy men, I can't deal with them either.

Everyone else, I love my sisters  here, hope you had a nice weekend.

[cjc]

Thank you, netta. Yes, that is me in the picture with him. It took a while to teach him to sterr so I was helping. Cristy. Here is a face-on picture of me. They dates are wrong. The one of me by myself is a week old. The others were taken today. Cristy    edited to remove photo

[netta]

YOu are so pretty! CJC, where do you live, you look like you have lots of yard and a pretty house.Did you make that cake? it looks so great!

[Winiroo]

apologies to the chelonian,wini, thoughti could see stumpy feet in th picture (leaves, it was, shoulda looked closer)

kate

Not a problem Kate - His/her feet are claws with sharp nails for digging. I'd take a picture but he is hard to find most of the time.
He/she will occasionally come to the back door when it is real warm outside but he/she just came out of hibernation so he/she isn't very active yet.


Oh Cristy, that is a fancy birthday gift. He must have been really excited. Hope he doesn't run you over.

[netta]

Win, how do you and Queen do all this great stuff on your messages ? the moving pics and all ?

[cjc]

YOu are so pretty! CJC, where do you live, you look like you have lots of yard and a pretty house.Did you make that cake? it looks so great!

                                                                       You are so sweet. We live in North Carolina with my parents on 32 acres. It provides me with a sense of security, and we all get along great. No , I bought the cake at walmart cause I was being lazy. Later.  Cristy         Win, The ride on truck was way beyond my budget but I saved my taxes to buy it for him cause I promised. If he does try to run me over then I will retire the truck for a week and spank his ass. Goodnight ladies.

[Winiroo]

Win, how do you and Queen do all this great stuff on your messages ? the moving pics and all ?

I use picture editors on my computer desktop and a few programs online to edit photos.
I've had some practice over the years and also the benefit of college classes in computer stuff.

Here is a list of a few sites where you can play with images.

http://picasion.com/

http://www.gifworks.com/image_editor.html

http://www.gifninja.com/CreateAGif.aspx

http://www.online-image-editor.com/

http://photobucket.com/

[BT65]

Morning ladies,

Cristy, those are some really great pictures.  Robert looks like he's in 7th heaven.  Hopefully he won't run you over (he doesn't have any old resentments does he).  I like that pic of you also.  I wish I had a digital camera, so I could post a recent pic up.  I'll definitely have to remember to ask my bff if she would take one and send it to me next time she's over.

Wendy, when I was a kid I used to have those really small turtles (the 50 cent size).  I don't remember what their names were or anything; I was like 5.

Netta, no parties/wild sex?  Damn.  How much longer will you be in Va Beach? 

Nothing earth shattering planned today.  I'm going to take some movies back to the library, one back to the video store that I rented, and go to Goodwill and look for some curtains.  Tomorrow is my last night of class (until summer's over).  So, I'll be studying for the final exam. 

I can't believe tomorrow night concludes school until the end of summer.  I'm still planning on doing some volunteer work.  My bff is going to talk to a lady at this place called the Hope Rescue Mission (one of the local homeless shelters) to see if she could use a volunteer.  I want to work with people, I don't want to answer phones.  I like to help people who are down on their luck.  Of course, I don't know how much help I'd be, but it's worth a shot.  I can't believe I've been going to school straight through for a year and 1/2.  Before my latest venture with school, I hadn't been in a classroom since 1989 (no, not high school).  School is really a lot more challenging than it was when I was younger.  I hear that from people my agegroup, so thank God it's not just me.

You ladies have a good  morning.  I'll be back this afternoon.

[Queen Tokelove]

Morning Ladies---

I had to reschedule with the probation officer. I have my cat scan of my tummy today. He was nice about it and rescheduled, told me I would be getting a letter in the mail. I called my primary doctor cause he had left a message for me on Friday. It seems my liver function or something is elevated which is not good and I assume that the Atripla/Ziagen is the culprit, he wants me to get more blood work done in about a week. My A1C has als went up to 7.2. I guess that was from me not taking my meds for a few but not to worry I am already back on them.

I am not flipping out or anything but I think I am going to need to change meds. Eh, just something else on my plate of woe, I guess. I'll check back in later.

[wishful]

Hey gfs...How are we today???

Betty: Yes i have to say the letter is very well written...i was even surprised at myself...i let a few peeps read it to feel it out...its very professional and VERY informative...I think he would get fired ...or at the least Extra emabarrassed..esp since the police station and community is soo small..If i dont hear from him by end of the week..(as far as his kids and money)the letters are being mailed..

Well the doc told me not to take the my meds for now and that he had a simpler regime for me (prob Atripla)...but he wont know until friday when i go back and we review my labs..Im hoping there isnt a change at all......( i did take them anyways this weekend)

Great pics everyone

im kinda outta my funk  i guess..i had a good weekend with the kids..we did chuck -e cheese yesterday...but my bf baby mama got mad cus we were late and he dropped his son off at 940..so she made this whole big dumb ass scene talkin bout he hit her and told her son to call the cops...blah blah blah..saying t he judge is goin to hear about this , or whateva,..just real irrational...She is mad bcus she asked him to take her daughter when he got his son and he said no...SHe has a man but i guess she aint happy..she always making comments about me n him "parading around town" or "being all happy"..She better slow her role..i swear if they woulda took him to jail behind her nonsense, there woulda been some ass whooping going on last night..im getting tired of that tramp....

Anyhoo....i think ima half day it today...woke up way too late and didnt even shower b4 work...(tmi i know...) but i had to at least come in...i have some vacation days already planned so ill try not miss work if i dont have to...but i need to go home n shower...i did at least brush my teeth...and sponge off...

[Dragonette]

Hello ladies,

just a short one cos its a short day... I had my VL taken this morning and will know in a week-10 days whether or not I'm developing another resistence or whether I can exhale. I also go my period  . What's up with that we are having sex every other day at least (as recommended). I had a meeting with boss who wants more and more things to be done, the people I work with are so ambitious and sometimes it's hard to know whether they care or whether they are just so driven they will use you in ways you're not aware or. Guess that's true for any job. Everyone manipulates. I make a conscious effort not to.

but it could be the menustration talking...

awsome weather here and we'll be cycling out of town to my other boss's place in the country for dinner.

I'm just trying to let go...

sorry this is a bit vague. I try not to write too concretly about my job as that together with other details will make me extremely identifyable.

Queen sorry bout the tests but good that you (we) are closely monitored.

Betty congrats for the summer break, it's exciting isn't it, I feel like a nervous kid when summer comes around.

Cristy great pics and tell Robert people drive real cars not much bigger than his Ford in the cities of Europe. It looks great in your yard.

Veritee advise you not to think of the meds as poison. How you doing after 1st night?

Tendai, love ya.

Cindy hope this week will be easier on the ol' neck.

Kate great to see you posting here.

Wishful I hear ya... maybe you should show letters to a legal attorney is there is a free service or even consult with one online, sometimes there're forums about these kind of things? I wouldnt like you to get in trouble b/c him. Even though it is so tempting and he is so stupid not to think of the reprecussions.

everyone else, have a great kickstart to the week, catch you later

[Queen Tokelove]

*sprays Wishful with a water hose*...Hehe..Girl, do that half a day, it seems like you need it. Bf's baby mama sound like she is hating because your bf did not want to take daughter that I am assuming is not his. Well, why don't she do something with her child instead of expecting your bf to. Don't you just hate haters!!!!

Betty-- *singing* School's out for the summer...I will email those songs to you, I haven't forgotten but has been a bit side tracked.

[wishful]

Queen: thats what he told her..she was like well she gonna be alone...he was like she is not alone..she is with her mother....lol..no she not his daughter and my thing is ..i love all the kids..but if she has such a prob with him being with me..why send your daughter..cus u damn straight ..I am def where he is going to be..sunday is family day...Maybe she thought this would stop him from spending the day with us??..she better get a grip...seriously...

[BT65]

Well, I had to check back in before getting things done.  Truth is, I would rather lay around the apartment today, have food delivered and have some really hot sex.  Dreaming, I know.

Queen, good luck with the belly scan.  How long before you'll find out what's going on?  Ugh, elevated liver test.  Have you ever had resistance testing done?

Wish, har.  That lady (bf's baby mama) sounds like a vindictive bitch.  I wouldn't deal with her well for two minutes.  I cannot stand being around people like that.  

Drag, sometimes it takes awhile to get pregnant I think.  Do you do that testing (what's it called) to know when the best time would be for trying to get pregnant?  My tubes were tied years and years ago.  But good luck with all that.  Oh boy, having a period can make everything seem like a disaster.  I didn't have one last month, so maybe that Depo shot I get is starting to work.  I sure hope so.  

Alright ladies, I'm off to get things done for sure now.  I'll be back in a few hours.

[wishful]

an ovulation kit...

[Queen Tokelove]

Betty-- I think I had the resistance test done awhile ago.I think that is how doc knew I was resistant to one of the meds in Atripla. But I think it is the Atripla is elevating my liver. I left a message for my clinic nurse, letting her know the results since it was my primary who did the tests. I guess it is time to switch to something else. My tubes been tied for 17 years and I would say the depo shot is stopping your periods. I haven't had a period in over a year. Thanks to the depo shot and I am loving it.

[wishful]

Queen: they knew u were resistant and prescribed it anyways?? im not looking forward to no dreams n stuff ..i dream enough crazy ish as it is...

[Veritee]

Thank you all so much who wished me luck with the meds.  - so far OK, but it is only the first day and then ony half way through LOL

I know I am very 'lucky ' to be on them now the drugs are so much improved -  and my heart goes out to all of you that have had to endure years of less well tolerated drugs.

I am on Truvada + Sustiva - of course with my history my main worry is mental health effects/issues, but my husband and my friend are keeping a close eye on me thank goodness

Netta - As to writing it down i.e. side effects how it affects me I think this is a good idea and I am doing on my blog: http://hiv-and-us.blogspot.com/

Drag - I am so sorry that you have to have a change due to resistance and that you have switched so many times before, no wonder you are upset, I would be , as you said this virus is just looking for a chance and is always vigilant while we are human and can not always be. I know I can not help but I wanted to say I was thinking of you and I hope it is just a blip too.

Ann - I read what you have said about  Champix and depression, so sorry you went through this. My husband took Zyban and he is a really stable - non depressed or anxious - sort of person and it sent him totlaly weired.
Luckily he realised himself and stopped, but then he carried on smoking fro years after that. we have both stopped now - I never really started again, just smoke to get trhough stress and if its offered or at a party etc. But he has had years of struggling with smoking.

I also read about Sally, the teenage girl you are mentoring.

It is great she has you. I guess I have a 'Sally' of my own although older ( 18) as my daughter has no one in the world but us and knows we are both HIV positive and while I do not think I am a neglectful or inadequate mum in any way - and her dad is a great dad - my daughter has been very angry with me and she has 'issues' and is totally aware of how we got HIV. But I just wanted to stick up for being a mum with HIV who's child does not like them right now , it can be very difficult and she may not be meaning to undermine - just needy herself right now .

But I am probably speaking out of turn and without understanding the situation

As me and my daughters dad are still together and it is a very different situation (of course Social services are not involved and would never be and of course my daughter is not being a pawn in anything) but angry teenage girls can give their mums emotional hell too!!! As you said about 'Sally' my daughter too can be a real bitch too and who also can blame her? And is 'challenging' (but in our case only to me, my daughter is otherwise well liked, has a good job and goes to college, never missing a day)

But a challenging daughter I am finding this is not easy to cope with when you are fragile as well - and I have been at a place where I resented my own best friend’s support of my daughter. It is fine now, and while I understood my daughter needed this support and appreciated my friend for offering it , I was also so hurt that my daughter did not need or want it from me  - you do not always mean to undermine, but it happens.

But I guess you know all this as you also have a daughter who faced some of the same challenges that 'Sally' faces - as my daughter is too. I am so glad your daughter is doing so well in her education - My daughter starts her university degree in September and in fact part of her course will also be an exchange trip to the US, I am hoping my daughter enjoys her time at university as much as your daughter Alice is

But I do feel for Sally - It is not easy for my daughter either -but..................

While we also live in a very rural place in the UK , which is also very incestuous ( and I know is very similar to where you live as my husbands company is based where you live so I know it fairly well )
yet we have not yet had the ignorance poor Sally has had to endure i.e.  "your parents are gonna die of aids" etc
We do not live on an island but we do live in a VERY cut off and rural place where ignorance about HIV is supreme. Yet everyone has been fine and supportive so far - including my daughters previously ignorant ex school mates.

Glad Sally has you.
And so glad you have stopped the drug that was making you suicidal - I do not know how you have coped with this - really scary I am sure, I fear reactions to the drugs like that

Have fun with Charlie


Snow -  'All I want is to meet some women in my area that I have something in common with and it ain't happening.'

I am just trying to do the same, and it is sort of happening and sort of not. Met a lovely women , my age living near by, she is white but from Zimbabwe, she was great and it was lovely to chat face to face to another women with HIV. But why I say it is sort of not happening as well is that she is really only passing through this country and this county...........my need is to meet other women with HIV who live nearby who will be like me spending a long time here, for an ongoing peer support relationship and friendship. I will probably spend the rest of my life living in this very rural and small community and need friends that are female HIV and will be staying around here also. I know they exist - but they are mostly too shamed/worried and hiding -  well that is my assumption as I have tired so hard to contact them with little luck yet  - but I will keep trying

Keepingfaith - are you getting married? How lovely!!

Sorry if I have left anyone out - I will write later - off upstairs to see my husband now my daughter has gone out - could do with a cuddle and  a bit of fun etc

Veritee XX

[Veritee]

PS Queen - I had that abdomen scan myself on Friday myself -

as my liver blood results were elevated ( only on one number was up the rest were fine) and they wanted to check my liver before I went on meds. But mine were not due to meds as I have only just started them , but because I drink too much I guess - something that as you know, I know !!

Happy to put that poison in my body - but not theses meds- yes I will take advice and stop seeing the HIV meds as poison

I have cut down oj the drink a LOT!! - and will go in for a detox if I can not cut it out enough. As I do not want the combination of HIV meds and drink to make me not be able to take certain meds and to muck my liver up - as it looks liek I may have got away with it so far i.e from my scan results.

As the good news was that while it will take a while for the full results of the scan to come in - they were nice enough to tell me that my liver looked perfectly normal i.e no cirrhosis or any other signs of damage etc - so while I have to wait for the full result of the scan at least they can put your mind at rest a bit

Drag - it took me years to get pregnant, we tried for years off and on, I used to dread my period. But eventually they blew my tubes out with carbon dioxide apparently , and I was pregnant in 6 months - but all this meant I was about 38 before I had my daughter

How time flies - I am 55 and she is 18!!!!! hard to believe as it seems like yesterday to me when I was carrying her

Veritee

[BT65]

Afternoon ladies,

Veritee, I'm glad your first day is going well.  Here's hoping for continuous success with your meds. 

My daughter is 23 and lives on the East Coast (of the US).  I live in kind of the middle North.  She does well and I talk to her once a week.  She used to give me tons of grief.  She went from being into heavy rap to a Marilyn Manson almost groupie.  She wore nothing but black, painted her nails black etc.   But, I'm a proponent of free speech and never said anything to her about it.  We lived at my parents' once though, and she hung the American flag upside down in her room and my parents made her take it down if she wouldn't hang it right (which she wouldn't).  It wouldn't have really mattered to me; but out of respect for my parents, I made her take it down.  She stole my car when she was, um, I think 14 and blew out the engine and ended up in junvenile detention for awhile.  Of course, she wanted me to get her out of that, but I refused.  But now, she's doing quite well. 

I took the videos back and rented another movie ('There Will Be Blood').  I didn't go to Goodwill.  I've just been in kind of a 'fuck it' mood today.  If the movies wouldn't have been due, I wouldn't be doing jack shit.  In fact, I might take a nap in a few minutes.  I hope all of you ladies are doing well.  And Cin, mum, Camms, anyone I'm forgetting, I hope you guys are doing well.

[cjc]

Hello ladies. Hope everyone is well.                                               Betty, I can tell you will be glad to have the summer off from school.      Robert is being very good with the truck. He didn't try to run me over yesterday but I wisely sat in the sun and read my book . No resentments yet, I got enough of that with the 18YO, trying  to avoid it with this one.        Sorry about your friend but if you feel like that , better to get it over with. I used to have one of those, very high maintenance. Hope you had a nice nap.                                                 Queen, a cat scan sounds scary. Hopefully it will all go well with you If you do have to switch to a new medicine regime, What do you think it will be?                        Veritee, hope the Sustiva/Truvada works well for you. I have been on that combo since Nov 2005, first separately, then as Atripla, and it does well for me. If it gives you problems, tell your doctor.                                            Those turtles are really cote. I like the one that is real small.                                Wishful, that sucks about the babymama drama. I hate shit like that. Good job not losing it.                       Dragonette, hope    you can exhale.Sorry you got your period, just keep trying.       Hope everyone has a great night, . Cristy                                                                 Edited to add: Ann, that is so great that you are a mentor.

[sunseeker]

Hi Ladies

Well, life has been crazy.  There is a new member of the family.  His name is Reese's and he is an 8 week old Dachshund.  boy is he a whiner.  He cries and cries and does not want to be alone.  Last night Whitey and I were laying in bed trying to take a nap and he cried the whole time because he was in his VERY large cage in my roommates room and my roommate was not home.    He is cute when I get a chance I will try to download some pictures. 

Yesterday was meet the Fokker day.  Whitey met my parents, I think that it went pretty well.  I am liking him more than ever.  Tomorrow I am going to his son's baseball game, that should be interesting since his ex-wife will be there.  In a way I can't wait to see what she looks like.  I have this mental picture in my head of what I think she looks like.  This skinny little blond, but my roommate thinks she will be a very large women.  Now don't get me wrong I don not pass judgement on people who are over weight since I have struggled with my weight all my life.  So it should be interesting, I will keep you posted. 

Speaking of weight I started with a new personnel trainer on Sunday.  I got my butt kicked, I am so sore I can barley sit on the toilet without screaming in pain.  So My roommate are off to go for a walk and lets hope my bum feels better. 


Catch up with you guys soon

[minismom]

I haven't been posting much, but I have been reading and keeping up with everyone.  I've been sleeping better at night - breathing is such a wonderful thing!  But, I've also been taking 2hr naps every afternoon.  Not sure what's up with that.  I took the last steroid on Saturday morning, but i'm still shaky and "foggy".  I think my sugars are dropping from not eating the way I should (been skipping meals).  Betty, I don't have problems with my sugar, per se.  But, when I miss a meal or don't take my vitamens and supplements, I get really bad migraine headaches and my hands start to shake.  I don't make a habit out of missing meals, but there are times that i get so busy, I literally "forget" that I haven't eatten until my head is pounding so hard that I can't open my eyes.

I"ve finished switching out the seasonal clothes and took a bunch of bags to Goodwill this afternoon.  So, I'm moving on to the next 100 things on my list.  I really need a haircut - or at least a style.  Not sure what I want, but it has to be wash and wear.  I don't have the time or the patience to "fix" it.  I was thinking about a wedge, but I don't know.   

Ann, wow, I'm speechless.  I see "Sallys" nearly everyday.  As long as there are adults who refuse to behave like adults, there will always be Sallys.  She's lucky to have you.  Clothe yourself with great patience and perserverance - it will all work out.

Nothing earth changing here, either.  Same stuff different day.

Love you all big ol' bunches!
Mum

[BT65]

Good late night ladies,

I have no idea what I'm doing up so late.  I watched 'There Will Be Blood' and I just I have insomnia. 

Cristy, yes I'm glad school is going to be out after tomorrow night.  I am so over it. 

Mum, so relieved to hear you're able to breathe. 

I totally forgot about tomorrow night's final, so most of tomorrow (well, actually today) will be spent studying.  Ugh.

I didn't hear from my 'friend' tonight.  I wasn't going to answer if he did call.  He pm'd me yesterday and I pm'd him back, keeping it all superficial.  I've told him to join a support group so he would have local people to chat with.  I hope that helps.

OK ladies, I'm off to bed.  Everyone have a good sleep.

Edited to add:  I smell steak and now I'm hungry.

[Queen Tokelove]

You are not alone, Betty, I am going to bed soon too. I had an early morning. I was up around 9:30 this morning. I did go get the cat scan done. I had to drink some stuff that was suppose to be a barium smoothie.Then get an iv put in so they could put something in my arm that made me feel hot and like I pissed on myself. My doctor should get the results by Thursday. I just hope it isn't cancer or I need surgery but I need to know what it is cause it is getting on my nerves.

Mum--- Glad to see you are feeling better but with the shaking when you don't eat, I wonder if you're the type that has low sugar. Might want to ask your doc about that, we don't need you passing out somewhere.

Sun---Since you have the same kind of dog as Aunty D, I would ask him about the pup or start a thread in OT. I am sure he would have some advice. Glad that things are going good for you and Whitey.

Christy--- I am not sure what my new meds would be. Any suggestions? I want something with minimal side effects or else I know I won't take them. Since this elevated liver thing going on, I am not sure I want to keep taking the Atripla. I am considering not taking it tonight.

Nothing else is planned for the rest of the week. Maybe I will finally get to doing my hair again. After checking a few more threads, I am going to hit the sack and hope tomorrow will be a better day. I need a vacation, man!!!! A change of scenery, something. Good Night Ladies...

[BT65]

Morning ladies,

Sun, sorry about not personally replying to you last night.  I'm glad things are going so well with Whitey.  A personal trainer, aye?  That would be something I would need to get in shape I'm afraid.  It doesn't seem to be happening on its own. 

Mum, yeah. I would think Queen's suggestion about being someone who consistently runs low blood sugar has some merit.  My mum used to be a 'hypoglycemic.'  Her blood sugar would never get high, but if she didn't eat, she'd have the same situation you do.  I don't know why I didn't think of that before. 

Queen, boy, I could use a vacation also.  I'm so tired of seeing the same thing day after day.  When are you going to send me those songs, btw?  I did hear Snoop's song 'Drop It Like It's Hot' the other day.  I like that one.

Since I totally forgot about the final yesterday, I'll be cramming today.  I'm almost to where I don't care about this class, so it's definitely time for a break.  I still want to do some volunteer work this summer. 

There's absolutely nothing else going on.  My life is getting boring.

[minismom]

Betty and Queen: Mini goes to see her lipid doctor on May 5th.  I'm going to mention it to him and see what he says.  Without insurance, the testing is going to be expensive.  I'll see if he'll write me a lab slip for the blood work (YIKES!!!) and take it from there.  I never thought about it before, either.  I just assumed it was a case of my head being connected to my stomach.  I wonder, too, if has anything to do with me having an ostomy.  I'll have to talk to the lipid doc about that, too.  Thanks for mentioning it.  Betty, good luck on your final exam today!!  You're almost FREE!!!!

I need a vacation, too.  Actually, I'd love a day at the spa with full facial, hair, massage (preferrably by a nice young tan lad in a loin cloth), nails, and feet, while sitting in front of a huge picture window overlooking the Meditarranean sea (and other loin clothed young lads). And don't forget the tiarra and satin robe.  *sigh* But, in reality, I'm in my cotton house dress, sitting in my rocking chair over looking a pathetically neglected livingroom, a small mountain of laundry, listening to screaming kids.  My hair is in disarray, in need of a style and a bottle of color.  My toenails are painted, but need cut and my fingernails are nearly non-existant.  I have a list of things that I'd like to have done before the end of May and, so far, I'm behind on that, too. 

Ok, excuse me while I go back to my scantily clad fantasy...hope to see you there!

Mum

[BT65]

Mum, I like your idea of a vacation.   Now, what would we do with those scantily clothed lads?

[keepingfaith]

Good Morning Ladies,

Not feeling to good this morning. I think I may have a sinus infection. Head hurts like the dickens, stomach sick. Everything. I have been off of my blood pressure pills for 2 weeks. I need to get back on them. Anyways still planning for the wedding. I'm getting my menu together right now. SO lost his job. I think that is some of my stressing also. I pray he gets another one really really soon.

Shouts out to all my girlfriends on here. Catch up with you all later.

[BT65]

Good Morning Ladies,

Not feeling to good this morning. I think I may have a sinus infection. Head hurts like the dickens, stomach sick. Everything. I have been off of my blood pressure pills for 2 weeks. I need to get back on them. Anyways still planning for the wedding. I'm getting my menu together right now. SO lost his job. I think that is some of my stressing also. I pray he gets another one really really soon.

Shouts out to all my girlfriends on here. Catch up with you all later.

Keeping, I agree that you should be back on your BP meds ASAP.  You don't want anything really serious happening. 

As we all know, emotional hardships make our bodies much more vulnerable to infections.  You're going through a lot right now, planning a wedding, SO losing his job etc.  All these things contribute to other health issues. 

Take care of yourself.  We're here for ya.
  Luv,
Betty

[Queen Tokelove]

Morning Ladies---

This thread will be brief since I just got up and has a killer headache. I rushed to check my sugar and it is at 162. I wonder if it is a side effect of the stuff they gave me yesterday for that cat scan? Nothing planned today but to go do some laundry since I have been putting it off. I just hate laundrymats,ugh.

Mum-- It sounds to me like you may have low sugar but as I like to say I'm not a doctor, I just diagnosed myself on the internet...hehe. But definitely something to look into. Here at one of the hospitals, if you don't have insurance, they have something called charity care that covers the bill, nothing like that there?

Keeping-- Girl, if you don't take that BP medicine, I am going to find you and make you take them... Sorry to hear that your man lost his job, that has to suck considering the wedding is coming up. You don't need the stress though it can't be helped so please take your BP pills.

Betty-- Yeah, Drop It Like It's Hot was the shit. You should hear Beautiful by Snoop too. I will send those songs soon as I finish here.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UmnER3qKiYk    Snoop---Beautiful


I got to go, my head is pounding. I'll check back later.

[netta]

Good Day ladies, hope everyone is well. I have been really down lately. Bored and broke. I am ready to go home, but I will be bored at home too. I have to wait and get my  ticket on the first of the month. I am really mad at myself, for not learning to mind my business when it comes to my best friend. I came here to help her move out of her house and into her new apartment, but I have been getting so pissed at her man and the way he treats her, that I think I should go home. Let me explain, we have been friends over 30 years. She is a really good person, works hard and has a man that won't even take out the trash, let alone work!! They have only been together a few months,also he cheats on her and I know this because our other friends (a couple man and woman) see it. She is moving because her house was goinng to be in forclosure,while shes at work, her man sits and talks on phone and plays on his laptop all day. Luckily she had sold the house before they foreclose. She complains about him and how she is not letting him move in with her, but still gives him money and takes him out to dinners etc. Sunday we had a pow wow with  some close friends who talked to her in love about how she doesn't need him bringing her down and that she can do better and even about the other woman, his ex .But I think it went in one ear and came out the other. Her man  is not violent or anything , but very childish. I over heard him talking very loud on the phone yesterday to his x who has recently move away ,about some personal shit, lets just say, I hope he has not given my friend an STD ! So I have been minding my business, I would never tell her anything because I am suppose to be staying out of it and minding my own business right. She is very stressed lately and
had been snapping at me and other friends. She has admitted this and apologized. She has to move on Thursday and has not one box  in the house yet!.I can't do anything to help her pack until she gets some boxes and allows me too. Of course he has not lifted his hand to do anything, nor has he moved his stuff yet. So I am sorry for ranting ladies, but i just had to share, B is like a sister to me and I am protective of her. If this man is what she wants then so be it, but don't complain to me, right ? Minding my own business for now, peace ladies.

[BT65]

Good evening ladies,

Queen, I think what you had done is called something like a dye-contrast (but I'm not sure).  I hope your head's feeling better.  Yeah, it was probably the dye that caused it.  I hear other peole say the same thing who have been through that.

Netta, sorry you're bummed.  It's hard to stay out of something like that.  It seems that we women have to learn on our own.  Outsiders can see perfectly what's going on; but we seem blind sometimes.  You're wise to stay out of it.   Getting too personally involved would probably only cause problems.

Well, tough bitches, I am officially done with school for the summer.  Yipee!  The final only took me like 40 minutes.  I don't know how I did on it as there were a couple questions I didn't think would be on it, therefore I didn't study anything about them.  Oh well.  The professor told me everyone would get a good grade.  If I wasn't diabetic and an addict, I would surely go out and get good and soused to celebrate. 

This afternoon for dinner, I got bbq pulled pork, baked beans and seasoned red potatoes.  I ate 1/4 of it and felt like I had just ate a whole buffet.  And my sugar shot way up.  Someone in a thread in Living With mentioned that bbq made his sugar go up.  It must be there's a lot of sugar in the sauce.  Anyway, the rest of the dinner is in the frig and I don't know if I'll eat anymore of it or not.  It was delicious, but I hate feeling so full that I have to lay down. 

Nothing else planned this evening.  I might watch the new episode of 'Law & Order, SVU.'  I really like that show and have not kept up with it like I usually would.  Have a good evening ladies.

[Winiroo]

I got a girlfriend like that Netta. Not the boyfriend drama currently but we have been friends, kinda like sisters since we where in elementary school. So I've seen my fair share of drama.
She lives out of state. Her husband is decent. Likely the best man she'd ever get. She is not good to her men. Never has been. Growing up with her she was a knock out with a woman's body while mine was still like a boys.
Sometimes I'd think some of the guys got what they deserved dating her just because she was sexy.
There was only ever one fella who ignored her and preferred me. Of course he turned out to be flakey. But what the hay I had one guy pick me at least LOL
Likely because I didn't give a damn that he drove a nice car and wasn't interested in him buying me anything.
Hell maybe he just wasn't shallow. who knows.

Anywho, hope your visit gets easier and your trip home is a good one.

[Queen Tokelove]

Ladies---

Yep, my headache is gone but I have a headache of another kind. There is a weed drought in my town because of a major bust in Cleavland. Anyone who live around there? So, I am whining... Keep in mind, no weed and I don't eat.I'm going to have to force myself to nibble. Anyhoo, my clinic nurse Leah called me back about the messages I had left her. She told me my ID doc may not switch my meds because he has to see my liver elevated 5 times. I'm thinking, huh? This is the second time, I got scared and haven't taken my meds for about 3 days. Now I am wondering if I should stay off them or start back up. Not sure how long it takes for the virus to mutate but has missed doses before. I am expecting to be detectable but I didn't tell Nurse Leah that. I figured that damn stuff from the scan gave me a headache but I guess that beats the runs which is what they warned me could happen.

Me and the roomie got the laundry done. I am glad that is over and I am wiped out. I am still procrastinating about my hair so I have been wearing 2 pigtails. Before laundry, I invited my oldest sister over to chill. She actually acted like it meant a lot to her, I dunno, maybe it did. She's a homebody like me except she goes to the Y every day to work out. But Goddess knows she can talk my deaf ears off. Not to be mean but I have to take her in doses. But I have been calling now and again.

I must admit that I am worried about the results of this scan. Cause I know something is wrong because the lumps weren't there before. I am just wondering what it is and what is causing it. And am praying it is not cancer or something. But for the moment I am trying to put it in the back of my mind.

Netta---I don't blame you for staying out of your friend's love life. A hard head makes for a soft ass as my Mama use to say. Your friend needs to see things on her own and ain't no telling what her sorry ass man is feeding her. Just wait for the day when she says she should've listened to you. It'll be coming. And aren't you healing up that leg? What you doing trying to help her move? Girl, if she ain't doing nothing to make that sorry man do anything, why should you? Girl, go home.

Someone needs to step up and start the next thread....Any volunteers?