Author Topic: Oral sex again (Read 12506 times)

confused987 · « **on:** November 24, 2010, 09:37:00 am »

Hi everyone. I know this is very common topic but i want to share my experience and also i need advice of experts-moderators. I am not nativespeaker but I hope you will understand. I have unprotected oral sex with CSW 16 days ago, consist of 5 minutes of cunnilingus on her, I had only licked outer side of her vag. and stimulate her clit most of the time. There were no signs of any menstrual blood Then she took me in her mouth, unprotected. After 5 minutes I *** in her mouth. There were no sores, cuts, the only penetrateble point was my penis hole. Also we have protected vaginal intercourse, condom has covered my penis all the time but there was one moment when condom move down little bit, but it covered 80 % of my penis. I am not sure about quality of condom, but I am sure that the condom was intact all of the time. It is quality of condom important or the only thing that is important is if condom is intact or not? After protected vaginal intercourse, she took my in her mouth repeatedly and has stimulating me with her tounge for 2 minutes. She has told me that she has not any STD and she has regular checkups, pay for HIV tests especially, because she has 2 children 6 and 7 years old and she don´t want put them in a risk. I know that her arguments means nothing but for some reason I put my trust in her. I have a girlfriend i love but something cracked in my head and I needed to try sex with someone who I am not in love, that kind of animal sex, if you know what I mean. I feel very guilty now, I refuse sex with my girl and when we lay in bed I think about HIV test most of the time. Could you estimate my risks? Should I move on without testing? Thank you for your answers, I appreciate it.

RapidRod · « **Reply #1 on:** November 24, 2010, 10:53:45 am »

You never had a risk of contracting HIV from oral nor do you need HIV testing for oral sex.

Andy Velez · « **Reply #2 on:** November 24, 2010, 10:56:57 am »

You are worrying needlessly. Nothing you did has put you at risk for HIV. You used a condom for intercourse which is exactly what you are supposed to do. The important thing is that the head of your penis was covered. It's not important that it didn't cover the entire shaft of your penis. The head being covered is what matters.

Your having given her some oral and received oral are not risks for HIV transmission.

THere's no need for testing and yes, you can safely resume intimate relations with your gf.

confused987 · « **Reply #3 on:** November 24, 2010, 11:29:34 am »

Thank you guys. Head of my penis was covered, I am sure about it. I feel much better now. 16 days after this experience I had no symptoms , no fever, rushes, headache or something simillar I am feelin good. I know that symptoms or no symptoms mean nothing but it could be a good sign for me. I am tryin to control my mind, because I think that mind is very powerfull and can create all these symptoms that people describe. Now I believe that guilt is haunting me, not HIV

confused987 · « **Reply #4 on:** November 24, 2010, 01:38:16 pm »

Excuse me but I have on more question. What is the meaning of term "theoretical risk" in connection with oral sex? Because this is the term that is usually used by doctors from Medhelp. Were there some documented cases of via oral transmission based on scientic facts or theoretical means that it could happen in sci-fi but in real world not?

Andy Velez · « **Reply #5 on:** November 24, 2010, 01:54:08 pm »

Theoretical means it could happen if certain circumstances converge such as giving oral when you have a gaping, fresh and bleeding wound in your mouth, which is hardly the circumstances under which oral sex would be happening. Under careful examination claims of having been infected orally never seem to hold up.

Theoretically anything but sex with your own hand is potentially risky. But in the real world of HIV we know that risk is about unprotected vaginal and anal intercourse.

confused987 · « **Reply #6 on:** November 24, 2010, 02:11:09 pm »

Thank you Andy. It does make sence to me. I am tryin to get HIV out of my head but it is hard for me.

Andy Velez · « **Reply #7 on:** November 24, 2010, 02:53:15 pm »

Well doubts and fears are not facts. You need to make a real effort to focus on other matters in your life. You are worrying needlessly about HIV.

confused987 · « **Reply #8 on:** November 24, 2010, 04:14:47 pm »

Thank you very much Andy!

Andy Velez · « **Reply #9 on:** November 24, 2010, 05:15:42 pm »

You're welcome. Now, get on with your life.

confused987 · « **Reply #10 on:** November 25, 2010, 02:06:57 pm »

I want to say thank you once again. Thank you for this great forum, for your advices, time and patience dear moderators. First day after my exposure I was googling through the web. I was scared to death. My mind was controling my body and started to create all kind of symptoms. Since I came here, I am confident that I am not in risk, you have armoured my mind with facts and knowledge. I think that was a big lesson for me and i see more things clearer now and I would try to live my life better way. You are doing a great job folks!

Andy Velez · « **Reply #11 on:** November 26, 2010, 09:27:32 am »

You're very welcome.

Glad you found the help you needed here.

confused987 · « **Reply #12 on:** November 26, 2010, 03:09:55 pm »

I found more than I need here. I have been told that my risk is zero, OK I am happy about it. I knew nothing about HIV, before I came here. Now I know one very important thing. HIV is not what I am afraid of, not anymore. There are many of worse things in life and in my point of view the worst thing is waste your lifetime, doing nothing usefull. You guys live with this disease and you are so unique, always helping, listening people problems. Big thanks!!!

confused987 · « **Reply #13 on:** November 29, 2010, 10:21:51 am »

Hi Andy, Ann and Rod. I know what i hat to say few days ago, that I am not scare anymore from my exposure. Everything seem to be fine but yesterday night I woke up, i had terrible nightmare. I went to clinic this morning and have DUO test. I am not scare about me but my girlfriend is the reason. Duo test have very good accurancy between 3-4 weeks to my knowledge. I don ´t want you to be angry on because i sad that I am ok and I am don ´t scare anymore. I trully want you to believe me that the exposure I have described is really the one and only in my whole life. I need to hear some words from you to put my mind in peace. My test result will be available at wednesday. if this one test come back negative. Now is the anxiety and fear whats drives I know. I aprecciate your comments. You are not only HIV experts, but also mindhealers. Thank you very much

Ann · « **Reply #14 on:** November 29, 2010, 10:31:51 am »

Confused,

As none of the activities you report were risks for hiv infection, your test will be negative. So relax!

Ann

confused987 · « **Reply #15 on:** November 29, 2010, 10:54:32 am »

Ann, thank you for your quick reply, I aprecciate it. I know that this fear in my mind have nothing to do with ratio and I am trying to fight it, really. I know that hiv is not a punishment for our bad moves in our lives, it is only a virus. So I am trying to separate my guilt feelings from scientific facts you gave. When I imagine that I will be the first guy with aqusition of hiv from getting blowjob or performed cunnilingus, I keep on smiling

I will come here wednesday a share my results with you friends.

confused987 · « **Reply #16 on:** November 29, 2010, 02:43:10 pm »

Excuse me for the last time. I have no symptoms or anything like that, i believe I am OK but I have some serious problems with sleep. I can not sleep longer than 4 hours in the night. I know this is because of stress from last two weeks. I have some pills called Xanax but it doesn t helps. I am afraid this will be continue forever. Maybe you know some tips or tricks for better sleep, when someone is underpressure. Or do you think that I should find some therapist?

PS: Just remove this if I am offtopic.

Andy Velez · « **Reply #17 on:** November 29, 2010, 08:55:59 pm »

Problems with sleeping are really not in the domain of what we deal with here in an HIV focused setting.

Some people find having a bath or a warm shower before bed to be a good way of settling down. Others read or have hot chocolate or decaf tea. Some find journaling to be helpful during a stressful period.

If sleeplessness is a chronic problem for you then seeing a therapist to discuss it might be a good idea. But if it's something that is happening around you HIV concerns, then perhaps it's a passing phase that will be over when you get the inevitable negative test result.

confused987 · « **Reply #18 on:** November 30, 2010, 01:33:11 am »

Thank you for your answer Andy, I will try a hot bath before sleep in this evening. I will have my test results tomorrow. If this one test comes out negative i won ´t go to any other test. I ´ll take this HIV stuff and I will throw it out of the window, out of my life and I hope that my problem with sleeping will disapear too.

confused987 · « **Reply #19 on:** November 30, 2010, 05:52:18 am »

So I will have my test result in 3 hours. I will call to laboratory and they will tell me my results of HIV DUO test. The feelings i feel now I can not decribe with any of words. Thank you dear moderators for your words of encouragement. I know I am little bit dramatic about this but still I have some doubts and inner fears and "whatifs". Wish me luck please

Ann · « **Reply #20 on:** November 30, 2010, 05:59:15 am »

confused,

"A little bit dramatic"? Talk about understatement.

You don't need luck. You didn't have a risk, remember?

Ann

confused987 · « **Reply #21 on:** November 30, 2010, 06:17:26 am »

I remember, sorry about that. I will come in few ours to share my results

confused987 · « **Reply #22 on:** November 30, 2010, 06:51:56 am »

I have my results yet. NEGATIVE!!!!!!!!! I know it is not a big surprise for you but I am happy, so happy and so thankfull to you guys!!! There will not be any of other test, now I will continue with my life without any of doubts. Goodbye my friends.

confused987 · « **Reply #23 on:** January 07, 2011, 03:40:40 pm »

Hi m8s. Wish you a happy new year 2011!!!

I want to share my test result. My first negative test was a great satisfaction for me but accidentaly a few days after i get my negative results I started to be ill. I had some fever and mild sorethroat, probably it was a flu because we had a flu season here. But I started to doubt again and I took 2 further tests. Both were Combos from Abbott , antibodies/antigen detection-4th generation, the first at 6 week mark and the second at 8 weeks mark. Both with negative result. Ann, Andy have you ever seen someone who had single exposure, negarive test at 8 weeks and later turn positive? I am tired from thinking about HIV, I want to leave this behind me once and for all.

Matty the Damned · « **Reply #24 on:** January 07, 2011, 03:48:50 pm »

Quote from: confused987 on January 07, 2011, 03:40:40 pm

Hi m8s. Wish you a happy new year 2011!!!

I want to share my test result. My first negative test was a great satisfaction for me but accidentaly a few days after i get my negative results I started to be ill. I had some fever and mild sorethroat, probably it was a flu because we had a flu season here. But I started to doubt again and I took 2 further tests. Both were Combos from Abbott , antibodies/antigen detection-4th generation, the first at 6 week mark and the second at 8 weeks mark. Both with negative result. Ann, Andy have you ever seen someone who had single exposure, negarive test at 8 weeks and later turn positive? I am tired from thinking about HIV, I want to leave this behind me once and for all.

Your test results are conclusive, you are HIV negative. As has been pointed out to you above, you were not at risk so the negative result should come as no surprise.

If you feel ill, see your doctor. The cause is not HIV.

At this point I would direct your attention to our Welcome Thread where you will find our Posting Guidelines. Please be aware that questioning conclusive negative results and/or continually asking about no-risk situations will get you banned from these forums.

MtD

Andy Velez · « **Reply #25 on:** January 07, 2011, 03:56:29 pm »

As Matty has so clearly said, you are conclusively HIV negative. Period. End of story.

Stop with the HIV drama and get on with your life.

If you're not feeling well it's because sometimes one doesn't feel well and that doesn't mean by default it's about HIV. See a doc if you feel unwell. Happily HIV is not your problem.

confused987 · « **Reply #26 on:** January 07, 2011, 04:23:41 pm »

Sorry Matty and Andy, I don ´t want to make a troubles here. In fact I am feeling fine now. I was ill few weeks ago- very mild flu symptoms, 3 days duration. Just want to know if you ever seen someone on this forum who test negative at 8 weeks and later turns positive. I am not scared, I am not confused, I think I am ok. Only person who is thinking that I need to be re tested is doctor in hospital. He said that oral is a low risk and for conclusive result I need to have test at 3 months mark. I don ´t want to take another test, I think my odds to be infected are very very very low and with all these modern Combo test negative results I am home free. Thank you Andy, wishing all the best!

Matty the Damned · « **Reply #27 on:** January 07, 2011, 04:30:54 pm »

Quote from: confused987 on January 07, 2011, 04:23:41 pm

Sorry Matty and Andy, I don ´t want to make a troubles here. In fact I am feeling fine now. I was ill few weeks ago- very mild flu symptoms, 3 days duration. Just want to know if you ever seen someone on this forum who test negative at 8 weeks and later turns positive. I am not scared, I am not confused, I think I am ok. Only person who is thinking that I need to be re tested is doctor in hospital. He said that oral is a low risk and for conclusive result I need to have test at 3 months mark. I don ´t want to take another test, I think my odds to be infected are very very very low and with all these modern Combo test negative results I am home free. Thank you Andy, wishing all the best!

No we have never heard of someone testing negative at 8 weeks only to test positive at the end of the window period.

The doctor is wrong. You do not need to re-test.

MtD

Andy Velez · « **Reply #28 on:** January 07, 2011, 06:12:14 pm »

You are reliably HIV negative. End of subject. Get on with your life.

That doctor needs to update himself about HIV.

confused987 · « **Reply #29 on:** January 16, 2011, 03:42:25 pm »

The healthcare system in my country is the reason why people in here are so paranoid as I am. Doctor has said to me that oral sex pose a significant risk and I must repeat the test at 12 weeks. But when i asked him if he ever seen a real case of oral sex transmission among his patiens, he doesn ´t answered to me. I had unprotected sex with my gf after my 8 weeks result and now I am really confused. I will take my 10 weeks test tomorow at 7:00, will get my results at 16:00. I am 99% sure that I am ok folks. Will share my results with you.

Please do not give me a Time out!

confused987 · « **Reply #30 on:** January 17, 2011, 08:32:01 am »

Anxiety is kicking in. This is too much........Waiting for results

confused987 · « **Reply #31 on:** January 17, 2011, 08:49:37 am »

Negative at 10 weeks!!!

Matty the Damned · « **Reply #32 on:** January 17, 2011, 08:53:41 am »

Posting endlessly about a non-risk situation and/or questioning a conclusive negative test result is a bannable offence around here.

You have been warned.

MtD

confused987 · « **Reply #33 on:** January 17, 2011, 09:07:24 am »

Sorry Matty, don´t be so hard on me. I respect all of you guys, you are givin me a power to get throug this. I was pretty sure that I am home free after my 6-8 week test /I have tested for just a piece of mind/ but suddenly my phone rang at 13.01, it was a nurse from hospital in my town. She said to me that I must take the final test at 31.01 , exactly 12 weeks after my exposure /nonexposure/, to exclude any posibility of infection I was petrified from what she said to me. So Yesterday I decided to take anonymous DUO test today early morning at private clinic. Results are negative. Thank god and thank you!

Andy Velez · « **Reply #34 on:** January 17, 2011, 09:46:32 am »

A negative result is always a happy thing even when it is expected.

You need to keep things simpler in the future. All you have to do to protect yourself from the sexual transmission of HIV is to always use a condom for vaginal or anal intercourse. Yes, it really is that simple. Other STDs are easier to acquire so if you are sexually active it's a good idea at least annually to have a full panel of tests done.

Since you know there are medical people in your country who are not as up-to-date as they ought to be about HIV issues you have to remember that when coming into contact with them. Remember what we've said to you and apply that information to your ongoing experiences rather than panicking everytime some ill-informed person tells you something that you already know is wrong.

You are supposed to be applying what you have learned here to your ongoing experiences.

confused987 · « **Reply #35 on:** January 17, 2011, 11:03:26 am »

Got it! You are totally right Andy. This is the best place for people searching for informations and piece of mind. Thank you guys! There are lot of persons and a lot of internet sites which spread wrong informations about true risks of infection. And for example there are some sites, telling people that HIV doesn´t exist /WTF/

You rock!!!

Andy Velez · « **Reply #36 on:** January 17, 2011, 11:06:28 am »

You're welcome. Glad to have been of help.

confused987 · « **Reply #37 on:** February 13, 2011, 11:55:53 am »

Hi Andy. After your last reply to my post I took another one test exactly at 13 weeks /91 days/. The result was negative, nurse gave me the result by the phone. I felt really great, free from every darkened tought. I had to celebrate my negative status, bougth the biggest teddy bear in the world to my girlfriend, had sex with her all night long. But when I went to the hospital personally, the female doctor has different opinion in connection with my status. "Young man, 3 months result is a very good indication, but for certanity you must take another test at 6 months. THIS IS INSANE!!! My tests were 4th generation, with acccuracy around 99% at 4 weeks and conclusive at 13 weeks and she wants me to come at 6 months mark and take another test. I am really down now my friends. I really don ´t know what to think.

Andy Velez · « **Reply #38 on:** February 13, 2011, 12:39:27 pm »

The doctor who told you that you have to re-test at 6 months needs to go back to med school and get up to speed on the longstanding realities of HIV science.

You are HIV negative. Period. End of story.

Get on with your life.

confused987 · « **Reply #39 on:** February 13, 2011, 01:08:37 pm »

Thank you Andy, the last thing I need is another HIV test. I am very, VERY tired from this situation, I paid my deuce, I think. I was not afraid from HIV during these 3 months. There are worse diseases than HIV, today. The only reason I want to be certain that I am HIV free is my girlfriend, you know what I mean. And that doctor and her out dated recommendations..aaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh. BS, you are right. Stay healthy Andy, Ann, Rod, Matt and the others. Bye

Andy Velez · « **Reply #40 on:** February 13, 2011, 01:17:58 pm »

OK. There is no cause for concern about HIV at this point. And I will warn you that if you come back again for more about this non-risk situation, you are definitely going to get a Time Out.

Get on with your life. Period.

confused987 · « **Reply #41 on:** February 13, 2011, 01:39:43 pm »

OK Andy, I´ll never come back. I don´t want to come back, believe me. I really admire you for your patience ,you gave to me and the other posters. You are "numero uno" . Have a nice day Andy.

Andy Velez · « **Reply #42 on:** February 13, 2011, 08:46:03 pm »

You're welcome. Now get on with your life.

confused987 · « **Reply #43 on:** March 05, 2011, 09:42:25 am »

Hi Andy, Ann and the others. Few weeks have passed and I am back again, unfortunately. I tested negative again at 16,5 weeks after my exposure. Great feeling. Also I decided to donate a blood plasma. Before I can get a permission to donate I must test with their special test for donors, so they took my blood and sent it to laboratory where they will do the PCR RNA on my blood samples. Now I think that was not a good idea because my anxiety is back again. I have a lot of watifs in my mind. What if my antibodies+antigen test was negative but RNA test will be positive. I will have my result in few days. If they will call me on my phone or email me, it would be mean that something is just not right. If they will not, it means I am all right and I can donate at thursday. I am obsessed, checking my phone and my email most of the time. Also I got my first appointment with psychologist at monday. I am so sorryfor bringing my dead thread back to life. I thought that I am ok but I am not. Panic attacks are so strong that I can not live my normal life. Is there a chance that I still have it with my 16,5 negative test? Regardless of my risk. Did you ever seen a poster on this forum who tested negative at 4 months and test positive later? Do you thing that mental health specialist is the one who can really help me?

RapidRod · « **Reply #44 on:** March 05, 2011, 10:00:16 am »

■Anyone who continues to post excessively, questioning a conclusive negative result or no-risk situation, will be subject to a four week Time Out (a temporary ban from the Forums). If you continue to post excessively after one Time Out, you may be given a second Time Out which will last eight weeks. There is no third Time Out - it is a permanent ban. The purpose of a Time Out is to encourage you to seek the face-to-face help we cannot provide on this forum.

Ann · « **Reply #45 on:** March 05, 2011, 10:10:29 am »

Con,

We've told you repeatedly that you did not have a risk. We have told you repeatedly that you have tested conclusively hiv negative.

YOU DO NOT HAVE HIV!!!

I'm giving that time out you've been warned about - repeatedly. Do not attempt to create a new account to get around your time out because if you do, you will be permanently banned.

Ann

Forums Index

Welcome

Welcome to Do I Have HIV?

Author Topic: Oral sex again (Read 12506 times)