POZ Community Forums
Main Forums => Positive Women => Topic started by: gone5150 on April 24, 2008, 12:50:16 pm
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Wow...I would really love to know how I've passed this forum up for soooo long!
I've been lurking the past couple days and feel it's time to say HELLO!
My name is Elena, but online most people know me as ::GONE:: or gone5150 ... sometimes MamaMainie(don't laugh at me, hehe) I've been openly HIV/HCV positive for 16 years now and am a single mother of two 16 & 12. I say openly because i was the one to tell 'everybody' as soon as I tested positive because I felt if it happened to me....it could be you, I honestly didn't care about people judging me or talking behind my back (isn't that just a part of life...sadly)! I tested + after leaving my ex-husband when my son was 8 mo's old and went on a few years later to have my daughter at BAYPAC in S.F. where she was born negative as well. I have been through so many changes over the years with this disease and for the better part I feel I am pretty secure in the fact that I am a positive woman, I have been my whole adult life, and always will be...love me or hate me... I try hard to talk to people as much as possible just to help educate and decrease the ignorance. At my ten year mark I decided to out myself to all of my online friends as well and started making HIV+ education websites amongst different online social communities, which brought me in contact with many people...it was a very fulfilling time in my life but then needed to move on and do more for me. So I stated playing around with the program paint shop pro and became DEEPLY addicted to making graphics. I have done many positive graphics (tags) and tend to create emotionally deep pictures sometimes bordering on gory or 'insane' lol hence the name gone5150 :o) But hey, it makes me feel better LOL! I'm not really a very verbal person, I'm visual so if I can create an image to say a thousand words for me, all the better!!! I am also a tattoo fanatic, again the visual story telling. I had been blessed to live in an area in CA that is pretty HIV accepting so I hadn't had too many run in's with blatant prejudice until I moved to the Pacific North West 4 years ago, I immediately encountered attitudes that I had only heard of online or from the mouths of others. It was a very confusing time for me and and in the middle of it all I was diagnosed with Pulmonary Hypertension and was put on oxygen 24/7, my doc there was not to into finding any treatment options for me....his attitude was just go home and die, what more do you want from me! So again I pulled my family up and moved back to my home town where I knew at least if something were to happen I would have my family close by for my kids. I actually found a doc here that put me on a not very well known treatment and guess what, I've been off of oxygen for 6 months and can walk distances again!! YAY! I have been on meds for my entire 16 year HIV career, my TCells were very low right away and I have never had a medication break which sucks but it's not a chance I'm willing to take. I also did HCV treatment for 18 LONG months in 2001-2003 was the worst time of my life and didn't even clear the HEPC. I developed real memory issues after that treatment, it had a very negative effect on me but being the stubborn person I am...I kept taking it. So if I ever seen slow or it takes me a few to catch on to something...blame it on the treatment! LOL
Whew....that's probably the most you'll ever see me write at one sitting but I wanted to give you guys a little since I've been reading so much on you all. I look forward to knowing you all and am VERY happy to find a group of women to share with!
Elena...a.k.a. ::GONE::
The Queen of the run-on paragraph's ;0)
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Hey Elena,
Welcome to our family! I'm so glad you found us.
I've been HIV+ for 19 years. When I first tested + (1989) AZT hand't quite come out, but when it did, of course I was put on it, at the high doses they used to prescribe people. And I ended up with anemia and had to have a transfusion. I was diagnosed with full-blown AIDS in 1994 due to severe wasting and low CD4 count (I believe it was 4).
I've also been in recovery (from drugs/booze) since 1989, with a couple relapses. Right now, I'm 2 & 1/2 years clean. My last go-round was with prescription medications(abusing amphetamines, benzodiazepenes, opiates). And I found out they can be just as bad as the illegal drugs I used to use (this is in no way meant to discourage those who can take them properly).
I have a 23-year old daughter who lives in Washington (state). I live in Indiana and I miss her terribly. Hold your kids close to your heart.
I hope you find what you need here; and you will. We're a good bunch. Please join us in the dating thread. It's not all about dating; it's about our daily lives, struggles, and support of each other.
Again, it's good to have you with us.
Luv,
Betty
Edited to add: I have 8 tattoos.
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Welcome to AIDSmeds Elena. We look forward to getting to know you.
My name is Wendy and I have been positive for 15 years.
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Hi Elena,
What a great intro! It's great to have you hear. Welcome and thanks for joining us!
Big Hugs to you,
BTL
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Hi Elena & very nice to meet you. Welcome. Thanks for sharing some bits of your very inspiring life story.
I wish I were fond of my tattoes but truth be told I have to hide them... I have 3 one's small on my forearm which I kind of like and do show most of the time, the others medium and big on both shoulders, I like one of them, but it's the location that's a problem not the tattooes
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hi Elena;
i'm Tommy, i've been hiv + 9 yrs . good to meet you.
and i'm up to 5 tattoos , i have a half sleve on my top right arm, i got the picture out of poz magazine about 1.5 yrs ago . (skeliton hand tree). have a good one.
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Hi Elena--
I am Queen, been poz for 11 years this year. I have 4 tattoos and want more. If you haven't noticed the name, I am the Queen of the Green or weed. Welcome to the Forums.
Uh, just wondering, is tommyj a girl or a guy. The name can fool you and don't want to go on a tirade for nothing... :D
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Tommyj is a guy. Not sure why he posted here. I think he knows the rules.
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Today must be guys post in the womens thread day. LOL
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hie Elena, great to have u with us! your story's inspiring and i love your attitude. can u post us some of your graphics?
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Hey Elena,
Welcome to our home away from home :)
I have a 17 and a 13 year old, both girls, among my troop of 5. I think that the teenage years of girls is worst than being poz, LOL
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hi Elena, Welcome!! :-X
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Welcome to the group Elena.
I have been hiv for 23 yrs......
I dont have any children, thank god, because I cant take care of myself, never mind
children... :-[
I also have hep c..I was suppose to start therapy in september, but I decide to cancel it..
Nothing to due with what you posted at all..
I have been feeling crappy now, if I start treatment, I will only feel crappier..
So I am not going there anytime soon...
Yesterday I was at my drs. and I found out I have sleep apenia.. :(
Ill have to wear a mask which contains oxygen to sleep every night..
This will surely be a trip for me..
I dont sleep well as it is, and thinking about wearing a mask to bed everynite, (sigh)
freaks me out, but a girls gotta do what a girls gotta do..
We heal when we sleep, so this one for sure I am going to do..
OK..I went on about myself..sorry..
Welcome to our forum, glad to meetcha.. ;D
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Glad to meet you all too!! I'm so happy to meet other mothers, that's an area that I have been pretty isolated in were I live, and Tattoo lovers too....YES!
Bettytracy - I too was diagnosed with full blown aids in '94 trip huh...I never expected to be here today! But sure am happy that I am. It also was WA that I was living in were I encountered so much HIV ignorance, they kind of treated me like..."what are you fighting for"...it was strange! I hope your daughter likes it there, personally I never want to go back LOL!
ubotts - if you don't need to do the HEPC treatment, I suggest pass it up. It doesn't work as well as they would like you to think and I've know too many people that have had to do it several times cause it keeps coming back or never clears like with me. Personally it was the hardest thing I ever went through and I did it for 6 months longer than they usually treat for. My liver before was stage 3 and after was stage 4 with cirrhosis...my energy level has never gotten back to what it was before treatment either. I also have been using a good ol' CPAP to sleep at night for 10 years now, also have problems sleeping. You soon learn to fight with the hose all night long and barely wake up, lol...good luck! A little 'green butter' on some toast usually helps ;0)
QueenTokelove - gotta LOVE the name girl !!
tendai - I would love to show you some of my graphics but they are a lil too 'graphic' lol to post on the usual forum, maybe I'll put together another photo album that isn't password protected. I'll let you know when I do.
Anyway...thanks again for having me!
Elena
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Hi Elena-
Welcome!
I have been poz since 93 or 94. I have been suffering from CRS big time lately :).
I have a 9yr old boy and soon to be 5 yr old trip lets, 2 boys and a girl
1 tattoo, would like to get another one someday, soon as I figure out what I want.
This is a great bunch of strong women, that I wish I could have found years ago.
Snow
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Hi, Elena I'm Sexy and I'm new 2, don't u just love this, I know I do.
I"ve benn positive for 5 YEARS and when I found out my T-cells were 13, had no clue.
But, Welcome, Welcome, Welcome glad u found us.
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Sexyz, I encourage you (and Elena) to join us women in the dating thread. It's not all about dating. It's where we post about our daily lives, struggles, bitches, strengths, and support each other. We'd love to have you!
Luv,
Betty
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Hello Elena
I was diagnose back in 2001 on Med since 2005.....So far so good...Good to have you here!! It's a great place to be!
Losta