He's poz, I'm neg: undetectable & no condoms & no ejaculation

[Bearhugs]

Hi. Does anyone have personal experience with this? We practice BB sex and neither of us cum in one another. He is undetectable and does not precum much at all. Has anyone on here been in this situation and not seroconverted? I know it is possible, but can't find any thread about unprotected sex without ejaculation and seroconversion.

[Ann]

Hi Bear, welcome to the forums.

I've moved your thread from the Off Topic forum to the Someone I Care About forum as it is the more appropriate place for it. The Off Topic forum is for subjects that have nothing to do with hiv.

I'm sure people have seroconverted when doing what you're doing. His being undetectable means that going BB is less risky, but it is not totally without risk. Sometimes people can be UD in their blood, but have measurable amounts of the virus in their cum.

If it works for you, and you accept the risk you're taking, then that's your business. Personally, if I were negative I wouldn't take the risk unless I was trying to get pregnant, but that's just me.

Ann

[Bearhugs]

Hi Ann, thanks for your reply. Part of me wonders about the reasons that I am apathetic toward the whole thing. I spoke to my doctor about this (who is in Chelsea, NY) that advised me if he is on his meds and is not ejaculating inside of me, that the risk is very very low. I have been trying to find someone who has been in a serodiscordant relationship for long time that hasn't seroconverted.

[liketheboat]

I am poz (undetectable), my boyfriend is neg. we pratice bb sex all the time (he is always the top, im always on bottom) and he has not seroconverted.  We have not been together long, about three months. We just make sure that he gets tested often.

I was lucky to find him. He works as a HIV/AIDS advocate so he is very knowlagle about the risks he is putting himself at. Just be sure that you know what you are getting yourself into, and make sure that you can accept the risks. Best of luck.

[Bearhugs]

Hey boat, thanks for replying. Does your Bf allow you to ejaculate orally in his mouth? Or is that something you stear clear of. Also, can you elaborate as to "know what your are getting yourself into?". My boyfriend seems to be unphased by his HIV at this point since he has been living with it for 25 years or so. For him it's a matter of taking his meds and that's it (though I think it has an effect on him mentally more than he could be aware of.

Also, how would you feel if your boyfriend did seroconvert? Would it be a "he knew what he was getting himself into, it's his responsibility?" or do you have another view point. Moreso, if you could ask your Bf about my post related to the BB with no ejaculation and see what his opinion is, I'd be greatly appreciative.

Hugs

[james3000]

In my opinion I think you should protect yourself as being on a regimen of drugs is no picnic. Why does your BF want to put you at risk however small it might be ? Why not use condoms to be on the safe side ?

[james3000]

My first step if I was going to have sex Poz or neg would be to protect myself. Why you may ask ? my immune system is compromised the last thing I need is another STD for it to fight. To some it is one pill a day to others it becomes 18. Step up to the plate and protect the one you love.
The problem with these Advocates is they are HIV neg! Experience goes a long way towards protecting oneself

[Growler]

SLAP!
Time to wake up and smell the coffee sweet-heart. No matter how you soften the situation, you are putting yourself at risk of becoming HIV+ by practicing BB sex with your partner. Now that said, don't for a minute believe that I lose a moments sleep over people who take such risks, it's your life baby do what you want.

But before you're shitting yourself in public because you've had diarrhea for a month or you're facing having a leg amputated because of the peripheral neuropathy caused by the HIV medication induced diabetes, just remember you still have a choice.

Growler