Equal Opportunity Infector

[checking]

I guess I am ignorant as its only been a couple of weeks since I got to know some details about HIV but I couldn't help ask this question. So here is goes:

Most of the members of this website appear to be of a particular sexual orientation (read 'gay'). There are a few women as I can see. I have read lately that HIV is an "Equal Opportunity Infector". So why is it that men who were infected heterosexually rarely admit or acknowledge their status?

Pardon me if I sounded rude. I am just trying to learn about this disease. I honestly feel that people in the "Am I Infected" section seem to be fearing the stigma associated with this disease, not the disease itself. I agree that was the case with me.

Please educate me on this.

[Andy Velez]

Often those men in the AM I INFECTED section are worried and feeling guilt and shame because they have been someone other than a wife or partner and not infrequently with a sex worker. Plus excessive drinking is also often involved. The combination of those factors brings up a lot of shame which becomes the prime concern rather than specifics of what living with HIV is like.

You also hear fewer heterosexual men talking about it because HIV is more difficult to transmit from female to male so they may not have been infected sexually.

What are your thoughts about the question you raised?

[checking]

Andy,

I would like to disagree with you on that one. Heterosexual transmission of HIV is the norm accross the world. It affects men and women equally maybe due to issues like lack of circumcision, genital disease, sanitory factors etc.

I am originally from a developing Asian country and having AIDS there is akin to being DEAD. No Kidding. Perhaps people in the western world need to realize that they are so fortunate to have ready access to anti-retroviral drugs. I happened to watch a small documentry film made in my country last night and one respondent in the film said "He would rather have Cancer on every part of his body but not AIDS". Such is the stigma. Children with AIDS are thrown stones at there. Can you believe it?

My take on my own question I asked initially will be as follows:
Lets face it. AIDS is still perceived as a homosexual disease allover (sadly, even in developed countries like USA) although as I said earlier, heterosexual transmission is the norm. Men who are infected heterosexually tend to hide it because of the stigma associated with
1. Being perceived as Gay
2. The stigma with HIV itself

I just found this short clip on youtube. Kinda poignant. Honestly, I felt like slapping the guy who was behind.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D9-DYB_jdtA

[wellington]

I think what Andy is successfully raising is that people who are not open to discussing how they act upon their desires, especially when they aren't doing so safely or in ways that undermine their principal partner's trust, are significantly contributing to the spread of this disease - irregardless of their sexual orientation. HIV and AIDS are simply not easy things to discuss for many. Let's hope it continues to be discussed more widely until people can live without fear, stigma, and with greater honesty and respect toward each other.

[Moffie65]

This is far to deep a conversation to delve into in this format, BUT, needless to say, I have an opinion.

It has been my experience, that with the total saturation of the Media from the United States, globally, that we have been very remiss in the last 25 years in reporting the reality of this disease.  There are many reasons for this, but in the beginning here in the U.S., there was even an effort from the Whitehouse, (read Pres. Ray-gun) to transfer all of us who were HIV+ to Guantanamo Bay in Cuba, to isolate us from the society at large.  Needless to say, that didn't happen, but because of the stigma of "GAY" identity, most heterosexuals still to this day feel like they are immune from getting the virus, due to the continual propaganda from our government that it is in fact a Gay Disease.  These are still to this day the facts, and still the CDC funds most of it's prevention dollars to teaching "Men who have sex with Men".  This naturally deals a solid blow to any prevention efforts to the Heterosexual Male, as not one dollar in 25 years has been distributed yet, to target Straight Men.  Needless to say, this keeps us struggling with HIV prevention work to this day.

Only today am I starting my monthly column in my local paper, and I am struggling to help readers to realize that even though the CDC says otherwise, local society must take care not to catch the disease, and spread it to more and more women.  It is a very difficult struggle, and sometimes I feel like throwing in the towel and just let them all get infected.  I just cannot let myself do that.

In Love and Support.

[Lis]

I watched the youtube film.... gotta say... only you take responsibility for you... had he insisted on the condom.. then OK .. BUT.... i didn't see it as rape.. and I'm sorry that he has KS... DAH!  WE HAVE ONLY OUR SELVES!!!  If we dont fight for that.. then what is the point!

[DanielMark]

Checking,

I can only say I have no idea why men who were infected heterosexually rarely admit or acknowledge their status, simply because I don’t know if that’s true or not.

Regarding that disturbing video, Andy:

Hmm, let's see ...

It's 2006. Whose responsibility is it for having responsible sex again? The receiver seemed to have his wits about him (from the part I could stomach watching).

Daniel