Mutual Fellatio and Grinding

[GAguy12]

I'm a bisexual married male and although my wife and I have played with other couples and select makes previously, she hasn't always been aware of my sexual exploits outside of her presence. I have for several years had a friend, who lives in an Asian country I frequent, who is a MTF ladyboy and also a high end escort. We've always had safe anal intercourse, both insertive and receptive, but we have never had safe oral sex.

I was in Asia about 4-6 weeks ago and we met up, went to dinner, had some drinks and eventually landed back in my room and did everything safely, again except oral sex. I take some comfort in that she always claims to have protected sex with other men (johns hiring her for her services I remind you), but I always get very anxious after seeing her because I worry about STD's and especially HIV being transmitted when we have oral.

I'm very bi, so I love to swallow but our last meeting I didnt. In fact, she didn't even ejaculate. I gave her oral a couple of different times, deep throat and the works and she said she wasn't feeling well after being out late the night before with friends.

Anxiety, worry, etc sets in a few days later and I start to get a sore throat. That leads to a cough, which I've now had for three weeks along with painful neck and armpit glands after about 10-12 days following our romp in the bedroom.

I took an Oraquick test because the last time she and I were together was about 6 months ago and I at least wanted the comfort of knowing I hadn't possibly been infected all along; it was negative.

So while I trust that she is of enough moral character to not knowingly expose me, does claim to use condoms with all sexual exploits and is a bit of a high end escort (not that this excludes her from possible infection) I have read and re-read very conflicting results of studies, risk factors, possibilities, scenarios, etc and its freaking me out.

I've swallowed her ejaculate many times before and obviously haven't been infected (as of the antibody test I took last week), but I worry every time and basically I have to keep it in my pants moving forward. Unless it's a hot guy that my wife and I risk bedding together, I can't take anymore risks outside of our marriage and agreement.

Just looking for your help, advice and opinions.

[Jeff G]

Only unprotected anal and vaginal sex has been proven a risk for HIV so as long as you use condoms for anal and vaginal sex correctly and consistently you will avoid HIV.

Keeping in mind you did not have a risk … a negative HIV test at 6 weeks past any possible exposure rarely ever changes and a 3 month negative test is conclusive. Since you have not had a risk for HIV your last test is conclusive, you do not have HIV.
There have been no fewer than three separate serodiscordant couples studies (where one person is HIV positive, the other negative.) These couples were tracked for three. five and ten years. The couples used condoms for penetrative vaginal and anal sex, but NO BARRIER at all for oral sex. Any kind of oral sex.

These studies yielded NO infections.

Here's what you need to know in order to avoid hiv infection:

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together.

To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI.Sex without a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

Although you did not have a risk and do not need to test for this specific incident , anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results.

Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv. Some of the other STIs can be present with no obvious symptoms, so the only way to know for sure is to test.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!

Please Note.
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[GAguy12]

Thanks Jeff. The moderators here are actually pretty amazing and I can't imagine having another source for any of the questions I may have about my possible exposures and risks. I can't say I have always played 100% safe but I certainly have made more of an effort as I've explored my desires.

I do want to clarify that my last receptive oral romp was about three weeks ago, although I took an Oraquick home test last week to rule out an existing infection. It of course has been freaking me out that I've grown sick and remained sick for the better part of the three weeks since she was in my mouth.

[Jeff G]

You need to accept the the risk factors for HIV are …
Sharing IV drug injection equipment .
Unprotected vaginal or anal sex .
From mother to child during pregnancy or shortly after childbirth .

If you are going to continue to worry yourself sick every time you have sex it will make for a pretty miserable life. We can only give you facts, its up to you what you do with them.

[GAguy12]

So those who claim to have only been infected through oral sex can't be telling the truth?

[Jeff G]

So those who claim to have only been infected through oral sex can't be telling the truth?

We do not comment on what others say about transmission . You do not have to take our word for it, you can go test every time you blow a guy if you want.