hand job gone wrong

[rddavis]

 Had a hand job at strip club.  Got back to hotel saw dried blood on the front of my pants and the sleve of shirt.  I washed myself off and there was no sign of blood on my member.  I am concerned she had blood on her hand while materbating me and it got into the small sore i had on the left side of penis.  How open does the sore need to be?  also, i have herpes but this was not a herpes sore.

I have a great deal of anxiety.  how much fluid needs to be present for infection?  It would seem reasonable that i would have seen any blood on me when i wiped off with the white towell?  If she had blood on her hands would the virus have been fresh enough to infect.

[Ann]

rd,

You're worrying unnecessarily. Hiv is a fragile, difficult to transmit virus that quickly becomes damaged and unable to infect when outside the human body. This is why UNPROTECTED anal or vaginal intercourse are the main modes of transmission.

Seriously, even if she had some blood on her hands, this was not a risk for hiv infection. If it were, we'd tell you for sure. Not one person has EVER been infected via a handjob and you will not be the first.

Make sure you read the Transmission Lesson linked to in our Welcome Thread. Here's what else you need to know in order to stay hiv negative:

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together. To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex with a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through all three condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

ALTHOUGH YOU DO NOT NEED TO TEST OVER THIS HANDJOB, anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results. Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple.

Ann

[rddavis]

That seems to be the overwhelming thought.  I freak out because of the blood.  That really scares me. 

[rddavis]

just so i understand completely.  No one believes this risk requires me to get a test? 

[Andy Velez]

No matter what your mind may be scarily telling you otherwise, there is absolutely no basic in HIV science for you to be concerned about transmission related to this incident. And no testing is necessary. Period. End of story.i

[rddavis]

i am married and want to get back to relations with my wife but i do not want to hurt her.  So the reason there was no risk is the fluid was outside of the body?  that makes sense to me.  i wish i could be as confident as ou are i guess i will have to just make myself believe i do not want to go through the torture of a test.

[Andy Velez]

You absolutely would not be putting your wife at risk for HIV.

Very often a guy who's strayed is supercharged with anxiety and remorse after the fact. You did what you did. You're just a dawg like a lot of us. Can't undo that piece of your history. Take a breath, see it, let it go and get on with your life.

If we thought there was any risk for HIV believe me we'd tell you.

Cheers,-

[rddavis]

i really appreciatte all you do and i am much more relaxed about the eposure i had. 

Ann,

I had a question for you.  I dont know for sure but it appears you work in an HIV testing/counceling center and if someone came in with my senerio you would not allow testing or you would recommend against it/ 

[Ann]

rd,

I would not recommend testing for anyone with the same scenario as yours. It's totally unnecessary.

Ann

[rddavis]

Hey gang it is me.  I thought i would drop a note and tell you that i will not be able to get past this event.  I plan to have 6 week test and once i collect the result that will be it for me. 

I know everyone says no one has ever gotten it from a handjob but how many handjobs had blood on the front of their pants and side of the underwear.  I bet not many.  I just cant get past the blood somehow getting on me and in the sore i had

I appreciate your thoughts and advise

[Andy Velez]

You've been told what we think. There's nothing more or new to say. That's all there is, there isn't anymore.

Go ahead and test at 6 weeks if you must and collect the inevitable negative result. Given your insistence on attention to irrelevant details you misinterpret as risk I wonder if a negative 6 weeks is going to satisfy you. But then this is your problem and not mine.

This is NOT an HIV situation.