Ugggghhh! Meds?

[bnyc23]

Hi.I'm 23 years old and I tested positive on August 1st. Got my first lab results back on friday (sept. 15)
VL- 30,585
cd4- 359
Not as great as i would have liked. Not as bad as i was prepared for. I felt relieved, a little happy even. My doctor recommends starting meds around 350 so i'm right there. She said she wouldn't want to start until we have more numbers to go on. SO in October i go back for more labs and get the results Nov. 10th. She did say that meds may be in my near future so i should start reading up on meds now. Knowledge is power.
I was really fine with that. Like i said, feeling relieved and a little happy even, Until I actually started reading abou these meds. I read about the great results and then the TERRIBLE side effects- now i'm completely overwhelmed and down about all this shit. I feel very confused and honestly don't know what to think or how to feel right now. UGH!
I have a history of depression. I started taking depression meds when i was 12 or 13. I haven't been on anything in about two years but i really really worry about taking anything that even has the slightest chance of causing depression since i don't need any help in that department.
I've spent a lot of time on this site lately and am soooo grateful to all of you.

[blondbeauty]

I started meds five weeks ago. No side effects and nothing terrible in my case.

[bnyc23]

Thank you for sharing and congratulations. It's really easy to focus on the negatives and let the "what ifs" get me down. I really appreciate you reminding me that things work differently for different people.

Thanks again and I hope things continue to go well for you.

[aztecan]

Hey Bnyc

When the time comes to begin discussing ARV regimens, make sure you let your doc know about your history of depression.

There is one ARV in particular, Sustiva, that could has caused some psychological side effects, as you probably have already read.

But keep in mind that side effects are always a "may," not a "will." Not everyone gets the side effects and, often, if they do, they pass within a few weeks/months.

I have been on the same meds for more than 10 years and am doing great. I know others who have never been on meds and are doing just fine. It is a very individual thing and it is almost impossible to base your care on the experience of others.

Starting meds is always something to give careful consideration, but don't let the "what ifs" cloud your judgement.

When you and your doc start talking about meds, be up front with him/her. Express your concerns, worries, things you have heard or read. Ask about the side effects, what you might expect.

One way to do this is to make a list and take it with you. That way you won't forget what it is you wanted to ask. (I do this because I always forget something.)

Another thing to remember is starting treatment is not an admittance of defeat or a harbinger that the end is near. If nothing else, I am an example that life does go on, even after you start meds.

I live my life to the fullest. The meds haven't stopped that, or even slowed it down. Fact is, without them, I probably wouldn't be here writing this today.

So, hang in there. It sounds like you have a good doc. Let us know how you are doing.

HUGS,

Mark

[termike]

Hi I am 22 and I have been on Videx Epivir and Sustiva for over 3yrs and I am doing great. I completely understand your fear Bnyc23....The first night I had to take my meds I was so deathly afraid of them i had to throw two days worth of them out because they were melted in my mouth..I was so afraid I coudnt swallow at all! Come to find...thank my lucky stars...they never gave me any negative side effects and I still havent had any since. ...Yes I have very vivid/strange dreams if I dream  thanks to Sustiva  but they have never been anything nightmarish...So I have faith that you will be ok. I am from NY as well so if you ever wanna chat send me an email termike12@aol.com that is also my instant messenger..Feel free to IM me anytime... Good luck buddy. ~TJ

[Juzme3165]

Most people here can relate to what your expressing I think.  There has been a lot of really good advice given to you Right here.  If you are still not comfortable with the answers you are getting you may want to look into other options.  There is a great deal of information available on natural alternatives and it is growing.  You may have time to try some of these but keep in touch with your Doctor and remember...take care of you!  Don't be afraid and don't let your doctor rush you into something you are not completely comfortable with.  It is your decision.  Your VL is getting up there and your counts changing...its important to keep up with your testing and to stay in touch with your doc.  Many people may not agree with what I am telling you but it is something you may want to investigate.  What's most important is that you believe you will be ok and that not every treatment leads down the road to depression.  As mentioned above, side effects are possible...not a guaranteed result of taking the medications.

Greg+

[yowsaa]

Hi Bnyc23,

On the flip side of med side effects, think of it this way, the possible side effects are known so your not the guinea pig. If you have some discomfort with one it is easy to swicth now. There is no longer only one option.

I had very very little probs like 2 weeks, with sustivas weird dreams. Past 6 years on it now! Have always taken a low dose sleeping pill... maybe that helps, dunno.

You are very fortunate to be starting meds in this age. A great many lost their lives to get where we are at today.

[markos]

every med has side effects. i've been on 2 cocktails in the past 10 years and have had physical manifestations like loss of body fat, that has occured over time and slowly, but everyone is different.

the meds beat the death i saw in the 80's so don't b afraid and treat them as vitamins. i am currently on Reyataz, norvir and truvada. This combo has less side effects than most.

[Morton Salt]

Started meds 3 days ago.  No side effects.   nothing defferent.

~Mort

TRUVADA/LEXIVA/NORVIR

[antibody]

i was depressed before starting HAART so i been on zoloft for about 5 months before starting a sustiva containing combo and my depression hasn't got any worse. the zoloft had be pretty stable before starting.

[northernguy]

Hey bnyc, how did your 2nd set of labs go?