Author Topic: Very Worried indeed!!!! (Read 12667 times)

onthelow · « **on:** May 07, 2009, 05:35:53 am »

Hello Guys,
From September08 till february09 I had 3 or 4(mutual masturbation) fingering and handjob episodes with S. worker. No penetration. Never had unprotected sex outside my marriage.
On the last episode when I finished fingering washed my hands with soap than applied an Antiseptic ''Savlon'' only in the middle finger I was doing the fingering.(first time i used savlon)
Hour later my finger started to have a strange reaction like burn - like/ pain. I ignored the symptoms but a month later I started to have nausea and vomiting episodes and was diagnosed with gastritis. So I started to panic thinking maybe I got hiv from the contact with the sex worker.
I started meds (Nexium+ domperidone) and started to have also a rash in my chest, couldnt sleep, with insomnia, pain in heart, muscle stiffness because Im a very anxious person.
The nausea and vomiting stopped for a while but today it started all again.
Rash went away and comed back also now.

I have bad/dry cuticles and peeling skin that often hurts but it never bleeds. So I what if I had a small cut or sore on my finger that wasnt hurting( extenuating circumstance i wasnt aware) and what is I was HIV infected that way.
Should i test?? or is it anxiety??? because these last month I couldnt sleep, with insomnia, pain in heart, muscle stiffness and more...
I tried to simulate the savlon again in my finger and i cant get the same reaction so now i am almost certain I had a sore or opened cut therefore the reaction.
Today i was thinking of cutting the finger and apply the antiseptic to test the reaction...I am going crazy?
Everywhere I look I think of HIV, and I fell like I have it.
And the worst part is that feel very bad for cheating my wife, i m very dumb. Afraid to test....
$:-\$

Thank you
You are doing a beatiful work

Ann · « **Reply #1 on:** May 07, 2009, 06:24:09 am »

On,

Fingering is NOT a risk for hiv infection. Not one person has ever been infected through fingering and you won't be the first.

Hiv is a fragile, difficult to transmit virus. It can only infect certain cells, and these cells are not found on your fingers or in cuts on your fingers.

Whatever is going on with you has nothing to do with hiv. If you continue to feel unwell, see a doctor. It's nothing to do with hiv!

Ann

onthelow · « **Reply #2 on:** May 07, 2009, 01:50:07 pm »

So dont I need to test over this incident???
I guess this is all about anxiety and guilt...Thank u 4r your support Ann.
God Bless u

Andy Velez · « **Reply #3 on:** May 07, 2009, 01:54:40 pm »

No matter what additional details your anxious and guilty mind may come up with, yours was a no-risk incident and there's absolutely no need for testing.

As for the guilt, you need to accept the event as a part of your history, take a breath and get on with your life. Suffering with guilt is not a sign of your higher character or a love tribute to your wife. Just give it up and get on with your life. And if you ever do have intercourse outside of your marriage, make sure you use a condom everytime. No exceptions.

onthelow · « **Reply #4 on:** May 07, 2009, 03:29:58 pm »

Thank you very much Andy...
I'll let go of this, and spend my time with family. I hope to not go outside my marriage again because always that i do that i feel guilt and sorrow for it and start panicking about it.
By the way,
Do you know where's my country? Mozambique...Beautiful place in Africa.
Once again thank u for the wonderful work you do in helping people...

Cheers, Stay well and God Bless

onthelow · « **Reply #5 on:** May 16, 2009, 11:13:59 am »

Hello Guys,

I cant seem to shake off this feeling of having hiv, and i continue to have the symptoms ( headaches, rash, fatigue, and itching all over my body). Sorry for posting again but my mind is playing tricks on me.
Whenever i turn on the tv or get out in the streets i see a hiv publicity or something telling me that i have it.This rash looks like folliculitis and i saw somehwere that is a sign of hiv.
And i am afraid of testing. Its been 3 months already since the incident... Will i be the first one infected trough fingering?

I cant do nothing right and this thing is screwing my life, i stay all day in front of the PC obssessing about hiv.
I cant work or go to school...

RapidRod · « **Reply #6 on:** May 16, 2009, 12:54:16 pm »

Seek professional mental health help do deal with your non risk issues.

Andy Velez · « **Reply #7 on:** May 16, 2009, 01:14:06 pm »

Surfing the net is addictive and totally not helpful since all it will do is provide fodder for your worst fears.

You have no science-based reason to be concerned about HIV. Zilch. The symptoms which are bothering you are in no way anything HIV-specific. They pretty much read to me as the sorts of things that happen when someone is anxious and worried. If they persist you should discuss them with your doctor.

You need to make a real effort to re-direct your attention to other more productive matters in your life. And don't even bother saying you're too worried to do that because I can tell you that response won't fly here.

onthelow · « **Reply #8 on:** May 18, 2009, 05:15:17 am »

Guys,
What about that pain i started to feel in the tip of the finger that entered the vagina?
Can it be a fungal infection or maybe a pinched nerve because of the fingering movement???Or maybe the reaction of the antiseptic on the cut?
It was a stinging pain.... That is what worries me most. That pain...
Whenever I touched something with that finger I felt some strange inside pain on the tip..
Is started 1 hour after the episode and lasted for the whole day.. The next day it was normal again.
My skin in nails often breaks because of dry skin leaving a cut that i can see raw meat inside. Can it be a way for transmission to occur?

Sorry for bothering,

Best wishes

RapidRod · « **Reply #9 on:** May 18, 2009, 06:29:33 am »

Anyone who continues to post excessively, questioning a conclusive negative result or no-risk situation, will be subject to a four week Time Out (a temporary ban from the Forums). If you continue to post excessively after one Time Out, you may be given a second Time Out which will last eight weeks. There is no third Time Out - it is a permanent ban. The purpose of a Time Out is to encourage you to seek the face-to-face help we cannot provide on this forum.

onthelow · « **Reply #10 on:** May 19, 2009, 09:42:38 am »

Sorry,
But can you please respond that one? I am feeling so down here.
Thats my last post... Hope U guys are right. I am going to test in some time...
Thanks for the help

Ann · « **Reply #11 on:** May 19, 2009, 12:03:55 pm »

on,

Hiv does not cause stinging pain in fingers. You did not have a risk for hiv infection, so whatever is going on has nothing to do with hiv. If you're worried about your finger, show it to a doctor.

Keep posting about this NO RISK incident and you'll be given that time out Rodney warned you about. Please consider yourself warned for the last time.

Ann

onthelow · « **Reply #12 on:** June 04, 2009, 05:29:36 am »

So Ann you are sure that I couldnt be infected by fingering no matter what details i put on the mix??
My symptoms are going away slowly, only fatigue sometimes and i cant sleep so well as I did before.
I wake up very early in the morning... I continue to feel my body strange.
But as you say, NO RISK.
I am still fighting with myself over this but i hope i ll pass trough well.
Thanks for you support. and If i do test i will post results.

Cheers for Andy , Rapid, and U Ann

Ann · « **Reply #13 on:** June 04, 2009, 06:26:48 am »

on,

Fingering is absolutely NOT a risk for hiv infection, no matter what sort of details you add.

If you are hiv positive, it's nothing to do with the situation you're worried about. Have you and your wife tested hiv negative together before you started having unprotected intercourse? If you have, then you're still hiv negative, provided your wife hasn't been having unprotected intercourse with someone else behind your back.

Ann

onthelow · « **Reply #14 on:** June 04, 2009, 07:35:14 am »

Yes, we tested before and were negative. We had a child last year and everything was fine.
If so, i am still negative...
Bye.I am getting off the internet because this is not getting my head straight.
As Andy told me before quit the internet and i m doing so.
Moving on...

Andy Velez · « **Reply #15 on:** June 04, 2009, 08:29:22 am »

Good. Get on with your life and stop with all this unwarranted drama.

onthelow · « **Reply #16 on:** July 08, 2009, 05:17:24 am »

Hello People,

I still didnt test for my last situation as you told me its a no risk, and managed to get rid of the anxiety but last week I once again did a stupid thing...
I went to a massage parlour and in there practised the following:
- Touching
- Fingering deep
- Frottage me and her naked ( My penis tip touched her vagina and I felt much wetness on my penis head)
- Kissing
- Hand job till I come

Never penetrated

Now 1 week after it I started feeling nauseous again...Vomited this early morning.
Do you see any cause for concern over this recent exposure???

Cheers,
Thank God u guys are here for us that dont have anyone to speak with... $:-\$

RapidRod · « **Reply #17 on:** July 08, 2009, 05:49:22 am »

Anyone who continues to post excessively, questioning a conclusive negative result or no-risk situation, will be subject to a four week Time Out (a temporary ban from the Forums). If you continue to post excessively after one Time Out, you may be given a second Time Out which will last eight weeks. There is no third Time Out - it is a permanent ban. The purpose of a Time Out is to encourage you to seek the face-to-face help we cannot provide on this forum.

onthelow · « **Reply #18 on:** July 09, 2009, 10:48:38 am »

Rapid
I am concerned about that frottage that i had.I didnt insert my penis but definitly her precum was on contact with my penis tip.
Can it enter my penis somehow?
Thank you

RapidRod · « **Reply #19 on:** July 09, 2009, 11:44:11 am »

You were warned. Move on.

Andy Velez · « **Reply #20 on:** July 09, 2009, 03:28:34 pm »

As you have already been told, frottage including with her vaginal fluid getting on to your penis head is NOT a risk. Period. Just because another burst of anxiety went off inside of you doesn't change the facts of the situation.

If you come back again about this same non-risk you are going to get a 28 day time out. Consider yourself warned. Enough is enough.

onthelow · « **Reply #21 on:** July 14, 2009, 10:05:56 am »

Ok ill try to move on(i hope for good).
I guess I am really obsessed about it. In my head ill be the first one infected trough this kind of actions...
Sorry for being like this, I didnt want to cause any trouble. You have helped me alot in these difficult times. Trying to erase that incident from my memory...
Thank you

onthelow · « **Reply #22 on:** August 08, 2009, 03:54:55 am »

hello friends,
This coming week I will try to get tested because I cant let go of the fear of having hiv and I am very afraid of infecting my wife. And here in my country everywhere and everytime they speak about hiv so its really afecting me because as much I want to forget the whole incident I cant do it because these adverts and tv spots are constantly reminding of hiv. So maybe i have to take courage and do the test therefore I can seek treatment for it. I guess I will be the firt infected trough mutual masturbation.
Another thing is that i read that recently they have discovered that when u have a std and the sores are gone even then u still can get hiv with condoms where the condom doesnt reach.
So putting all together I can say that with a small cut on my finger and fingering a person with hivI am indeed at risk.
So maybe its not all in my head and i am really infected trough fingering.
The antiseptic reached my bloodstream creating that pain so why wont the vaginal fluids do the same.
I think that from the no risk fingering incidents i will be the first exception of infection trough this kind of route.
And in developing nations there is many infections and i am guessing that these people are using condoms but still getting infected as newly discovered.
Sorry for everything. Please dont feel furious with me but i had to take this out of my chest and really tell u guys why i feel that i am at risk.

Sorry Ann i know that u do a lot for us.

Ann · « **Reply #23 on:** August 08, 2009, 06:56:04 am »

On,

Cut the drama. You are NOT going to be the first to be infected through mutual masturbation. Take the test if you want, but you aren't going to need treatment. You didn't have a risk and you don't have hiv. You and your wife tested negative before now and you haven't had a risk since.

You're putting two and two together and getting five. The situation you're talking about with pre-existing herpes has to do with intercourse. You didn't have intercourse.

The antiseptic didn't reach your bloodstream. It reached nerve endings. Hiv does not infect nerve endings.

I'm not furious with you, just rather sad that you cannot let this NO RISK incident go.

I'm giving you that time out you've been warned about. Do not attempt to create a new account to get around your time out because if you do, you will be permanently banned.

Ann

onthelow · « **Reply #24 on:** September 07, 2009, 03:31:20 am »

Hello Andy,

I am surely more calm about my situation, please dont get me banned me again.
I never tested for the fingering incident.

I just wanted only to ask a question:
I read at the body website that the ARS rash is symetrical and located on the trunk of the body.

And my rash was in my upper chest, shoulder blades and neck. It was very symetrical and on my arms it was also symetrical.
Oh and not forgetting that on the center of the red pimple I had a hair follicle coming out of it, and it was like 12 dots symetrical on each part of the upper torso.

So isnt that a thing to be worried about???Or i still have to be focused on risk evaluation? The rash came after 4 weeks of the start of the initial symptoms (vommiting, etc).

Does it look like ARS to you?

Please respond so I can put this last ''rash fear'' to rest.

I wont ever again finger someone, it isnt wort the worry.

And u guys day that everyone that is being infected is not using condoms. Why is that? For sure thats the way they are getting infected?

Bye Bye

Regards for Rapid Rod and Ann also who helped me very much

Andy Velez · « **Reply #25 on:** September 07, 2009, 08:31:12 am »

Obviously you're still obsessing over your non-risk incident. Your latest details about a rash have nothing to do with ARS or HIV.

As for sexual risk for HIV, you've already been told this: the only confirmed risks are unprotected vaginal and anal intercourse. Everything else is only theoretically risky.

We're not going to indulge you now in another cycle of doubts, fears and just one more question. You had no risk for HIV. You need to get on with your life. If you come back again over some "symptoms" for this non-risk event, I can tell you that you are very quickly going to get another Time Out and it will be for a longer period this time.

You have no cause to be concerned about HIV. If you can't let go of this fear then see a counselor or other professional and discuss your problem. We can't help you with that in this setting.

onthelow · « **Reply #26 on:** September 07, 2009, 04:10:54 pm »

Thank you Andy.

So i am starting to learn that symptoms mean nothing when it comes to ARS. So I cant be infected because i havent been at risk, but still my mind tells me otherwise.

I would like your sincere opinion on this :

I realise that i have to do 2 things.

1. Get a negative test (hopefully) so I can move on;

2. Get help from a counselor or something because hiv is constantly in my mind 24/7 and i cant relax my mind. Always worring and I dont want to hear the word hiv or aids or i get super worried and panic.

Can I fully accept your opinion about me not having hiv trough fingering???Other than that i didnt have any exposure.

Cheers

Andy Velez · « **Reply #27 on:** September 07, 2009, 04:21:06 pm »

I can't say it any simpler or clearer than that you had no risk from fingering.

Go ahead and get tested if you need the inevitable negative result in order to move on.

We live in a world in which HIV/AIDS is going to be a part of all our lives for a long time to come. So if you are going to get spooked everytime you hear something about it then seeing a counselor or other professional seems like a good idea.

And I need to warn you that you can't keep coming back here repeatedly just because you're nervous again. You're going to very quickly find yourself getting a Time Out if you do that.

No more questions. Time's up. Get on with your life.

onthelow · « **Reply #28 on:** September 16, 2009, 08:12:39 am »

Hello Andy!!!
You are right I am clearly still obssessing about this exposure as whatever i see on the street or something about hiv i think I must have it.
I am linking everything to hiv, colours, people, rashes that my wife has, etc.
I may have OCD if you say that i was not at risk by fingering with a cut.
I cant relax myself, dont know why.

Whats your Final advice on this? I am very afraid of infecting my wife. If I dont forget this I will book a test.
And i hope that I will not regretfully be a first case of mutual masturbation ( fingering and handjob).

If so i will be famous at least once in a lifetime.... $:-\$

Muito Obrigado por tudo. Deus nos abencoe a todos.

Andy Velez · « **Reply #29 on:** September 16, 2009, 08:17:39 am »

We can't help you any further in this setting. You don't have a real problem of risk for HIV. See a counselor or therapist or other professional and discuss what is going on.

I can tell you that you can't keep coming back here repeatedly about non-risk situations. We've done what we can do for you here. You're on the verge of getting a 28 day Time Out. Consider yourself warned.

This is NOT an HIV situation no matter what your fears and thoughts maybe cooking up to the contrary. Get yourself some help in the proper professional setting.

onthelow · « **Reply #30 on:** September 19, 2009, 02:07:47 pm »

You are right, Andy the big problem is that all other sites say if u have a cut in your finger than it is high risk.
Therefore my concern, but maybe thats my irrational mind and the World wide web.
Ill see a therapist or counselor, or i will ultimately test.

Thank u for your time and patience.

Andy Velez · « **Reply #31 on:** September 19, 2009, 05:37:27 pm »

Stop surfing the net. All you seem to do is seek out fodder to feed your unwarranted fears about HIV. That kind of compulsive trouble shopping is not helpful to you.

onthelow · « **Reply #32 on:** September 20, 2009, 04:07:58 am »

I have little tiny blisters on my fingers also, could it be herpes?
If it is herpes can it be a way for hiv to infect me trough this while fingering?? That new study that infection of hiv in herpes healed lesions that appear intact is getting me concerned.

Can hiv enter trough this tiny watery blister that sometimes pop open leaving a small hole??? It doesnt bleed but it itches.
I saw a post where Ann said that herpes lesions itch very much, Ann could this tiny blisters be herpes? Can i be infected trough them? I have confirmed the status of the sex worker she confessed she is positive.
Thank God i never penetrated her with my penis. Only my troublesome not so healthy finger.

Please don't get me banned I wont post again...I am not surfing any other site instead of this one to calm my nerves.

Thank you

You are giving me a priceless help

Ann · « **Reply #33 on:** September 20, 2009, 06:23:13 am »

on,

It would be extremely unusual for herpes to infect the skin on a finger. It mainly infects mucus membranes.

YOU DID NOT HAVE A RISK FOR HIV INFECTION!!!

I'm giving you that second time out you've been warned about. It will last 56 days and if you attempt to create a new account to get around your time out, you will be permanently banned.

Please use this time to see your doctor to discuss your concerns. You mentioned previously that you suspect you have OCD. Your doctor can refer you to someone who can help you with that.

Ann

onthelow · « **Reply #34 on:** November 21, 2009, 04:53:08 am »

Hello Ann, Andy and Rapid,

My wife just told me she's pregnant of one month because i moved on in relation to that incident of mine and started having unprotected with her just after the time out.
But now im feeling a little anxious again, because if i did get infected trough fingering i will have infected her and the upcoming baby.
I am still very afraid of course...
I will have to test before she does the first exam with her doctor so i will have to go and have a hiv test.
I will let u all guys know my results, keep me in your prayers.

Thank you

RapidRod · « **Reply #35 on:** November 21, 2009, 05:44:44 am »

Anyone who continues to post excessively, questioning a conclusive negative result or no-risk situation, will be subject to a four week Time Out (a temporary ban from the Forums). If you continue to post excessively after one Time Out, you may be given a second Time Out which will last eight weeks. There is no third Time Out - it is a permanent ban. The purpose of a Time Out is to encourage you to seek the face-to-face help we cannot provide on this forum.

Andy Velez · « **Reply #36 on:** November 21, 2009, 07:23:22 am »

We are not going to go through another round of back and forth over that non-risk incident.

You can test all you want to and collect a pile of negative results.

But if you keep coming back here with more worries about that non-risk incident you are going to get a 2 month Time Out and put yourself in the position of potentially getting banned from the site. Consider yourself warned.

onthelow · « **Reply #37 on:** November 22, 2009, 01:26:04 am »

Ok sorry Andy i Just freaked out because of my wife's pregnancy...
The what ifs started all again because of that.
As you say I did not have a risk...

Thanks

onthelow · « **Reply #38 on:** November 26, 2009, 09:31:06 am »

Ann,
IS it normal when someone is worried about hiv that person sees signs of the disease?
Is it my mind??? because i now think that everyone must have hiv!!!
And i am scared like hell because my wife is pregnant now.
It seems that i am noticing more thing about hiv. Suddenly if i spot a publicity i runaway or dont like to drive trough that street.
And everywhere now there is awareness about it. I think it was not like that before. Why?
Is it me noticing more??

Am I going crazy? Please let me know what u guys think about it. I think i am the most bizarre case....

This is my last thread till i test , please let me know what u think Ann.

Andy Velez · « **Reply #39 on:** November 26, 2009, 09:59:01 am »

This is all about head stuff and nothnig that is grounded in HIV science.

You are worrying needlessly about HIV.

If you can't let go of this concern then get some professional help about it. We can't do that for you in this setting.

And yes, you are on the verge of getting yourself another time out from this site if you continue to return with this totally self-created drama.

Consdier yourself warned again.

Ann · « **Reply #40 on:** November 26, 2009, 10:04:21 am »

On,

Your problems are far outside the scope of this forum. You do not have hiv and you did not have a risk for hiv infection through fingering. We've gone over and over these facts with you and patiently explained why you were not at risk.

You've been given two time outs - time outs which are meant to help you realise that you are going over-board in your obsession with hiv and to help encourage you to get some face-to-face help in the form of seeing your doctor and/or seeing a mental health professional for some therapy.

You have also been warned that if you continued to use this forum inappropriately without getting yourself into therapy, that you'd be permanently banned from these forums. You have left me no choice but to do exactly that.

Please find a therapist - your regular doctor should be able to make a referral - before the birth of your baby. You don't have to live your life with this constant, irrational fear of hiv infection.

I'm permanently banning you from this forum. Good luck getting yourself sorted out, but I'm afraid there's absolutely nothing more we can do for you here.

Ann

edited to add: Andy posted while I was writing my post and setting up your ban. I guess he's got more patience than I do, but enough is enough; your permanent ban stands. You've had more than enough warnings. Good luck with the therapy.

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Author Topic: Very Worried indeed!!!! (Read 12667 times)