POZ Community Forums
HIV Prevention and Testing => Do I Have HIV? => Topic started by: aroundtheworld on April 03, 2013, 05:36:26 am
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Last weekend I brought home a guy from a gay bar in Bangkok. He claims to be STI free and always practice safe sex, but I have no way of knowing. When I put on the condom, I had some trouble rolling it down and could ultimately only get it around 3/4 the way down...it may have been too small. I should have just used another condom, but I ended up using that condom as the insertive partner for several minutes. I pulled out and noticed that the condom had slid a bit, but it didn't look like it had broken and it did not slip all the way off.
I also fingered him for a short time with a finger that I had bitten the nail of earlier in the day that was sensitive but not bleeding.
Is there any risk that while I was penetrating him, and my exposed shaft entered him, that some bodily fluids of some kind containing HIV could have entered the condom from behind and reached the head? Could a small cut on the tip of my finger also be a risk?
I am due for an annual test anyway, but I'm driving myself crazy thinking that I could be at risk.
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Around,
First off, you need to always assume the other person is hiv positive or has some other STI and protect yourself accordingly by using condoms regardless of their answer. I know you used a condom this time, and I hope you're using one every time.
You have NOT had a risk for hiv infection and no, hiv can't crawl down inside the condom like you're imagining.
The only parts of the penis that are vulnerable to hiv infection are the lining of the urethra (the tube where you pee/cum from) and the inner lining of the foreskin (the part you cannot see when it is folded over the head). As long as the head was covered, you were not at risk.
Condoms have been proven to prevent hiv infection. There have been three long-term studies of couples where one is positive and one is negative. In the couples who used condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, but no barrier for oral activities, not one of the negative partners became infected with hiv. Not one.
You can bet there was some condom slippage that went on during these studies. Condom slippage is common, but only a risk for hiv infection if it slips off completely and you end up having unprotected intercourse.
Fingering is NOT a risk for hiv infection, regardless of nicks, cuts, hangnails or whatever. Not one person has ever been infected through fingering and you are NOT going to be the first.
Here's what you need to know in order to avoid hiv infection:
You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together.
To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex without a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.
Have a look through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.
ALTHOUGH YOU DO NOT NEED TO TEST FOR HIV SPECIFICALLY FOLLOWING PROTECTED INTERCOURSE OR FINGERING, anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.
If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results.
Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv. Some of the other STIs can be present with no obvious symptoms, so the only way to know for sure is to test.
Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!
Ann
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Thank you so much for this prompt reply, and for providing this service. I will take all of your advice to heart.
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Around,
You're welcome.
I hope when you say "I will take all of your advice to heart", you mean that you will always use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, and have regular, routine and complete sexual health check-ups at least once a year, or more often if you're lucky enough to be very sexually active.
Ann
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Thanks for taking the time to answer my question. Last night
I (male) met a guy at a bar and went home with him. We fooled around briefly (including some brief oral (me giving)) before falling asleep. This morning, we had prolonged oral sex (me giving) and protected anal sex (as the bottom with a condom). He did not ejaculate either time.
I know that oral sex is low risk, but two days ago, I had some small irritation in my mouth the reminded me of a canker sore. I could still feel it yesterday, but I forgot about it by the end of the day and I can't feel it today. Would this significantly increase my risk...would PEP be warranted? He claims to be negative but I'm not sure I trust that he always plays safe.
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Hi,
It's a rule of this site for members to always write in the same thread so please don't begin a new one again. All of your postings are now in this thread. Thanks for your cooperation.
As far as your latest question is concerned, your saliva contains over a dozen elements and proteins which very effectively prevent the transmission of viable HIV if it is present. For get about PEP. It's absolutely unwarranted.
The ONLY confirmed risks for the sexual transmission of HIV are unprotected vaginal and anal intercourse. Let go of this concern and just get on with your life.
Even well meaning guys don't always know their HIV status accurately. So the wisest thing for you to do is always use condoms for intercourse.