boss wants to know

[tendai]

i went ot my doctor coz i had a blister on my lip and i ran coz i thought it might be shingles again or something so i told my boss and he says to me ' u need to check where u stand with your bloods coz if u're not okay we need to get you registered for treatment. find out and let me know' 
i did not want him to know for sure. he is the one who gave me treatment when i had shingles last year but he never hinted that he suspected anything.  well he is a doctor and when i was all pale and anaemic he also treated me telling me i was sick when he saw the results of my blood tests so i guess he put two and two together. it makes me so uncomfortable him knowing and i would really rather not go there.  i havent disclosed to anyone except my doctor and a herbalist lady i went to see. what do i do? i have medical aid which i am paying for by myself. 

[bobik]

Hello Tendai,

I think your boss sounds like he wants to help.

Hug

Coen

[anniebc]

Hi Tendai

I agree with Coen, it really does sound like he is worried about you and wants to help..if you think he already knows then i don't see any harm in talking to him..just be honest, if you are sick then he sounds like someone you can rely on for help.
If you are worried about your job then there are laws that can protect you, and and it's also against the law for him to disclose to anyone else regarding your status..if this is worrying you, and if you decide to talk to him, just ask him to respect your privacy, he sounds like a decent man.

Let us know how you get on.

Hugs
Jan

[Just John]

Hi Tendai,

I also agree that your boss sounds more concerned about your health and possibly willing to help you again. I would just like to say to you though, be careful and think properly before you do disclose anything to him, although we in the west are lucky enough to have the protection of the law when it comes down losing our jobs, or having our status exposed to others you might not be so lucky.

take care, John.

[Andy Velez]

Tendai, I urge you to weigh carefully your understandable urge for privacy with what is in your best interest as far as your health is concerned.

From what you have described it sounds like your bossdoc is a sensitive guy who's concerned about you.

What are your thoughts/concerns  about letting him in?

 

[Eldon]

Hello Tendai,


If your boss is reaching out to help you, then accept his help. He can become a valuable asset to your support system.



Make the BEST of each Day!

[tendai]

my doctor ordered a bunch of tests for stuff like syphilis that i had not thought i had. i'll be going to get the results next week so i guess i'll tell him then.  i'm guess he wont fire me or anything coz i dont really pose a threat of infecting anyone since i just sit behind a desk and dont touch patients or any instruments and i'm not planning to have unprotected sex wth any of the patients.

i am nervous about him knowing.  i dont like the idea of him looking at me and judging me or feeling sorry for me. i mean i've been handling this by myself all this time and i'm afraid our working relationship might change.  i dont know... Or maybe i could ask my doctor to call him and they talk about me as doctors and all since they are colleagues.  i dont know..  i think i'll start practicing how i'm going to tell him and what i'll tell him. do i tell him i've known for over a year or make like i went and got tested because he suggested it?

[tendai]

well i told him today, said i went and got tested and my CD4 doesn't warrant meds as yet.  he just said i shoud get booked in a programme so i wont have to wait too long when i finally do need meds. said its best to know and take appropriate action than be in denial etc. guess thats that then. i'm not fired or anything.  i'm just curious to see if his attitude towards me is going to change. thanks for the support guys!

[IzPoz]

Congrats Tendai!

It seems to me he may have already had an idea of what was going on.  Chances are, he won't change towards you.  I'm glad that it looks to be ok that you told him.  Sounds like he's got your best interests at heart.

Be well.

[Just John]

Sounds like he's got your best interests at heart.

, Amen to that.

Good luck Tendai

John

[Cliff]

well i told him today, said i went and got tested and my CD4 doesn't warrant meds as yet.  he just said i shoud get booked in a programme so i wont have to wait too long when i finally do need meds. said its best to know and take appropriate action than be in denial etc. guess thats that then. i'm not fired or anything.  i'm just curious to see if his attitude towards me is going to change. thanks for the support guys!

It sounds like he is looking out for you.  But don't assume that because he is being nice that he will always have your interest at heart.  You need not disclose anything that you don't feel comfortable in disclosing (i.e., he doesn't need to know everything about your health status just because he cares..that's not his right.)  Think through what information you don't mind him having access to and what information you prefer to keep private.

We've had some forum members who disclosed their status to their employers who received good responses at first, only to later find themselves being harassed and discriminated at work because of their HIV status, (sometimes by other coworkers who may have found out through work gossip).