Make it be a blessing

[Danny47]

@Maelrod:

I truly understand you.  One thing that is totally on your favor is that you have someone who is by your side.  Your numbers are reacting.  For some reason when I started on Atripla, my VL did react fast but my CD was (and STIll is) always on the low end.  But my Doctors all stay calm as long as my percentages stay within range.  Also I have gone through two cancer diagnosis (and totally unrelated to my HIV)  and related chemotherapy and radiation, all conditions and treatment within a year of my HIV diagnosis.  So my Doctors now are just preoccupied with my VL, and eventually, when my bone marrow recuperates, they will see how my CD4 react.  But even during my lowest numbers I have not gotten any Opportunistic diseases and that is a good thing...My advice is to follow the inspiring words from WTFIMPOZ, I didn't even know that at age 29 someone could be so perfectly articulate.

From a spiritual standpoint, I see people like WTFIMPOZ and I wonder if we are truly the unlucky ones.  I have done such a beautiful journey of growth since diagnosed, that to this day I sometimes feel gifted for what I have gone Through.  Don't get me wrong, there are nights were I look at my Atripla and say....F....! I am HIV! and almost feel like I am talking about somebody else.  But this condition has made me sit in the same room with really ill people, it has given me a much broader understanding on  how lucky and beautiful my life truly is.  It makes me wake up each morning and feel better than I have ever felt before.  It places a greater understanding on how fragile we are and how to value the things that we use to ignore prior to be diagnosed. Secretly it will give you wisdom, knowledge, growth, it makes us humble beyond comprehension and it makes us wiser.  

I now spend my hours reading about health, taking more time to spend with my loved ones,  I fight less, understand more, appreciate better, enjoy spooning more than having wild passionate sex and appreciate those who love me even more.  I discovered who my friends are and I have found a great deal of support from total strangers.  I learned not to hate being in a traffic jam, and for some odd reason, I have sympathy for people who are ill driven and rude in my life.  I enjoy working out, bought myself a bike (which I had not done in over 20 years) and enjoy long coffee breaks which I didn't have before.

Doesn't that sound like something favorable? I also learned to admire the strength on people like you and turn off so many others that have learned to endured hardships at such young age.  My best advice is to be healthy, stay well, enjoy life and visualize a long healthy road ahead of you.    

@wtfimpoz, Your attitude is exceptional and your verbiage is admirable.  Write a book, have a son and plant a tree...those were Jose Marti's words to describe a MAN.  He was a very famous Cuban "prophet" and the meaning of book to me is comparable to writing a  beautiful word that can move or inspire others.  I really hope that you acknowledge my words and go ahead a plant a tree, one that you can see in 20 years as a beautiful by product of your action and plan to have a child, if your partner agrees start planning on it, it would be your beautiful legacy...Any child will be very proud to call you Dad one day...


be well,

Danny